900 Comments and Counting

I didn’t anticipate the volume of suggestions I’d get to yesterday’s post about my restaurants. I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. I’ve yet to meet a human being who isn’t a restaurant expert by virtue of his or her experience at eating.

I’m actually going to read all the comments, as will my restaurant managers. I can tell there’s a lot of good stuff nestled within the calls for nudity and midget wrestling. But I thought I’d take a moment to comment on some of the suggestions.

Many people pointed out that the quality of your food and service determine the size of your restaurant business. I used to think that too. To my surprise, those two factors are surprisingly far down the list, at least in my local area.

Obviously the food and service have to be good enough to support the price you charge. But most places achieve that goal. Around here, the restaurants with the best food, or even the best value, don’t have more business because of it. You think they do, but they don’t.

Locally, familiarity is the biggest predictor of success. Italian and Mexican themed restaurants are typically packed regardless of food or service. Everyone knows they can find something on the menu they will understand and enjoy. Indian and Thai restaurants are less familiar and they struggle no matter what they do right. My two favorite restaurants locally (Indian and Thai) are typically 75% empty.

The local restaurant that is generally considered to have the best food in the area is full most of the time. From your armchair, you might assume the food quality is the reason. You’d be wrong. The restaurant is full because it’s tiny. Both of my restaurants have more customers. There’s some sort of statistical smoothing effect that causes people to spread their eating around more evenly than you’d think. We can predict our level of business on any Tuesday night to a degree of precision that seems odd. There’s never a day when, for no reason in particular, a thousand people all decide to eat at the same place. Restaurants get nearly their baseline “share” just by existing, presumably because people like variety.

When we designed the Dublin restaurant, it was intentionally twice the size of the first, in anticipation of filling the banquet area with events. It’s the banquet and event portion that doesn’t fill itself just by doing things right. I pay rent on that space whether it’s full or not.

When asked about the most important factor for a restaurant’s success, experts often pick lighting. Your first inclination is to laugh that off as absurd, because you’ve probably never made a restaurant decision based on lighting. But if you look at the restaurants that are doing well without being Italian or Mexican or tax cheats or a chain, they generally have excellent lighting. Everything, including your date, looks better with the right lighting. And that can be enough to make you remember the food and service as being better than they were. I pay attention to restaurant lighting, and find it a far better predictor of success than food or service. (I’m working on my restaurant’s lighting too.)

Price is obviously a big factor in people’s restaurant decisions. But unless you are a chain, or a tax-cheating family restaurant, you can’t compete on price. Our niche is the “nice night out” crowd for dinner, and the “business lunch” during the day, where a few extra dollars for a more special experience makes sense. The Cheesecake Factory is a great business model, but if you take your wife there for your 25th wedding anniversary, you might not reach your 26th.

People ask me why I’d want to be involved in the restaurant business. This is why. It’s surprisingly fascinating.

Comments

[marcosthhvvx]

hello all
whata crazy weather, i dont like such things
see ya








http://trannytreats.com/ps2_16330_A and http://twococksonebox.com/ps2_16330_A

[valveCast Steel Valve]

out for an anniversary and we are just as happy whether we eat in a high priced restaurant or a burger king.what we do get annoyed with is the people who bring kids to eating establishments and let them be obnoxious-including places like burger king which are primarily for kids.that is what will keep us away from going to certain places it is the other people and their kids who frequent them.and it isn't that i don't like kids(we have 6 grandkids)but they need to behave when away from home.

[AAS]

rs7oOo Hey, there is what you need.

[Cast Steel Valve]

[url=http://www.xinran.org/english/index.asp]air compressor[/url] from or made in China, browse for China 12V [url=http://www.xinran.org/english/index.asp]air compressor[/url] Manufacturers, Suppliers, Factory, Exporters, Factories, OEM.[url=http://www.xinran.org/english/index.asp]air compressor[/url]s. Compressed air solutions that include industrial [url=http://www.xinran.org/english/index.asp]air compressor[/url]s, reciprocating compressors and all your compressed air needs

[Patrick Bryan]

I was listening to the Duct Tape Marketing podcast this morning and Jon Gordon (author of several books including The Energy Bus) mentioned that he used to own a restaurant which only made $500 on a Thursday night. Their solution was to create "Parkgate Thursdays" (their restaurant was called Parkgate). They advertised and promoted this concept and became synonymous in the local area with somewhere to go eat on a Thursday night. Result - $5000 on Thursday nights.
Might be worth looking him up as this is a solution which actually worked for an independently owned restaurant?

[khamul]

It's your function room you're trying to fill, not your main restaurant, right?

That shouldn't be a problem - there's almost never enough cheap places for groups that want to meet regularly to meet up. Of course, the key word here is "cheap": a sewing circle can't afford to book a function room once a week - but each member of the circle probably can afford the price of a lunch out once a week, plus a couple of drinks.

So scan the local papers for adverts for book clubs, sewing circles, roleplaying games groups, etc, and send targetted ads offering a light buffet dinner at a budget price in a private function room. I guarantee you that your function room will be full every night you want.

You won't make as much profit as a formal function, but you'll make more than an empty room - which you're paying for anyway, right? The wear and tear should be low - people who attend book clubs and sewing circles don't generally trash the furniture - and you can always gouge them for drinks if you need some extra cash.

The best thing is that each attendee becomes your own personal little advertising excutive, telling everyone about this great place s/he goes once a week - great service, nice lighting, food's great value for money. And you don't even have to pay them to do it. Should boost your main resturant sales for free - after all, there's no adverising like word of mouth.

Unless your food stinks. In which case they'll slate you to all their friends, and you'll be bust within a month, you stinky salmonella-seller.

[Tez]

I like the wedding reception venue ideas - I'm planning a wedding (my own!) and I'm finding not only do all of the good venues cost a heap, they are also booked out up to a year in advance. Get Stacey's on one of those wedding planning websites.

I'm Australian, so I don't know how your liquor laws work but another idea is a wine tasting night - especially if you have a robust local wine industry. Once a month invite a different winery (preferably one already on your menu) to present tastings. One of my local restaurants does this - the guy who hosts the night explains first of all how to judge the wines (ie. colour, bouquet and taste), then the winery presents maybe two or three varieties each of their reds and whites. It's aimed squarley at people who know very little about wine, so it is very inclusive.

Everyone gets a taste, and then makes up a score. Not only is it informative, but you also get an idea of which wines were most popular (at the one I go to, the guy just gets us to do a show of hands). We pay about $10 as a cover charge, notifications come out by email and everyone is encouraged to bring a friend. It's good for the wineries too - especially the smaller or newer ones that are trying to find their audience.

Remember - choosing the right wine to go with a meal can be daunting for a lot of people. So if in the explanation of each wine something is mentioned about what dish on your menu it best suits, you are making people feel more comfortable about eating at Stacey's and more likely to either stay for dinner or return another night.

[Peter]

Speaking of lighting and other subliminal profit-increasers, pay attention to the music. Studies have been done showing that classical music tends to increase the average meal price paid, though the theme of the restaurant should be considered, (Beethoven in a Chinese restaurant would be odd).

[head space]

So I quickly scan the comments, note a fair bit of misdirected hating and curiously check out RipplingBeast's entry, prepared for extraordinarily insulting comments.

What a surprise it was to actually read a bunch of sensible comments! Apart from his/her obvious bias I find it rather reasoned (I wouldn't know about mid-west hygiene standards ...).
However, if I was looking for advice I would thank this person for taking the trouble to respond in depth. The truth is, there is no silver bullet but lots of individual factors that create the whole experience.

Lots of good stuff there in my opinion.
(Oh, and I have waited on tables an run a restaurant by the way).

[SheikH]

Have a cooking contest for someone to create a new item for your menu. Kind of like a science fair setup in your banquet hall. There's always people who think they're the best and want to compete and everyone likes to judge others. You could probably make a reality show out of it.

[Theresa]

Poor Darian!

People's rants should be directed to 'RipplingBeast', not to 'Darian'.

Notice, the poster's name is displayed BELOW his/her comments, not ABOVE.

-- Theresa

[rgosal]

Darian:

Go suck a nut. I can do without the tips from assholes like you and I've said as much to losers like you and your imaginary "lovely ladies".

Most of the things your are whining about are setup by management for the servers. The rest is common sense when working in a restaurant. So we're susposed to modify the entire ebb and flow of a restaurant while serving to put up with your assinine requests? Get bent.

Try working in a full service restaurant for awhile and do things "YOUR WAY" and see how long you last.

As for the clean factor, yeah I agree with the basics like hairnets and automatic taps, flushers, etc. But guess what princess, not everything works 100% of the time and not everything is going to be your way all of the time, so suck it up.

[Scott Alan Miller]

Another thing that I have personally found that really effects my wife and my restaurant decisions is sound. Restaurants with the radio turned up high enough to make it at all difficult to talk to each other get avoided. Regardless of the quality of the meal we just don't enjoy it and refuse to eat in those places.

[YAQ]

get big, comfy seating. and nice lighting.

If there are two restaurants next to each other and one has nice mood lighting and comfy looking seats, then that's where I'm going.

I'm also more likely to stay longer. If I have a big full belly and I'm stuck on some uncomfortable chair, I'll be starting to think about heading back to my nice soft sofa at home.

But if I'm already sitting on a nice soft chair, then I'll say "more wine! And the dessert menu too!"

[Jesse]

Interesting what you say about people eating where they understand the menu selection. In the UK a good Indian or Chinese can be packed to the brim, especially the "eat as much as you can" buffet chinese. But here in the UK we are more familiar with that sort of food than we are with Mexican for instance.

[Deb]

sorry I'm a bit late on this post, but ---
really successful restaurants in my area have something unique that no one else does that is really good.

E.g., there's a local pho restaurant that makes really great soups. sometimes you just want some great soup (remember the Soup Nazi?), so the place is packed. They're in a lousy location with lousy decor, but they're packed.

So about your banquet-room problem, I assume you've tried direct marketing to all the organizations (like Little League, Scouts, etc.), trade shows, and businesses in your area? A good A/V system might help attract events -- people need a way place to show the photos/presentation/etc.

By 'direct marketing' I mean you, famous person, actually calling and inviting people to hold their next event at your place, and finding out what they would want to do so ("Oh, sure! We can do that." is a good phrase to memorize).

[Rhett]

Use Viral marketing. Hire attractive people to go places that people who would go to your resturants socilize and then causally promote your resturants in conversation. Its deliberate word of mouth. First saw it in Gibson's book Pattern Recognition. There are now ad agencies devoted to it.

[Rhett]

Use Viral marketing. Hire attractive people to go places that people who would go to your resturants socilize and then causally promote your resturants in conversation. Its deliberate word of mouth. First saw it in Gibson's book Pattern Recognition. There are now ad agencies devoted to it.

[William]

Scott,

I went through all the comments. You should put a note for a poster to do an “Edit…Find on this page” for some key words before posting.

I have a small ownership in some Bars and Bars/Restaurants in NYC and the surrounding area. I play a six Σ trained scientist for my day time job. I too am fascinated with the bar restaurant business.

The best thing we did was get a full time marketing person after we got big enough (we were probably smaller than you). In addition to managing one location, he is responsible for all of the marketing; he organizes the press releases, product events, cigar nights, speed dating, open mike nights, Little League sponsorships, dart leagues…and such. He bought into the LP, so he gets a salary and a piece of the profits.

You mentioned the rent on the space that wasn’t performing. Consider buying the real estate.

Another thing that worked with the bars when we were starting out is novelty investors. For the bars, for instance, we got a lot of Wall Street Brokers and Analysts to invest. They got bragging rights to owning a bar, and then brought lots of traffic along with expense accounts. The one percent shares were, for the most part, eventually all bought back.

We will do a private party for the local government or Chamber of Commerce, even at small loss for good will. We rented out one of our private rooms for a very nominal fee to an exercise class—most of the women were wives of the mayor and city council. Good will goes a long way; I will go out of my way to get Pizza from the shop that sponsors one of the teams in my son’s baseball league, for example.

A very important thing is your employees: We generally pay over the market rate, give generous Christmas bonuses, and treat them very well. This keeps the best of the best in your employ, and not serving the competition’s customers. Keep them accountable and test their performance. We give the best shifts to the best performers. For our night club type bars, a bartender will start losing shifts if the register slumps. Scott, you are correct that you can predict performance for a given night of the week. You need to find assignable causes to positive and negative deviations.

When you have good staff you can let them have some license. You might offer a new customer a complimentary drink after the meal. Every group that enters the restaurant has an organizer or a leader. Train your staff to identify this person and treat him special.

[Gaurav]

well i think one of the most obvious solutions(which probably you are doing already) would be to associate your restaurant with the major corporates(with large employee count) in the local area... some sort of special treatment and/or price discounts etc...

discounts don't have to be too high... they just have to be there... and yes make sure you don't embarass guests by pressing for identification etc..

in fact i would even suggest that you make a discount of say 10% for employees of lets say 10 major corporates from the area... and don't insist on any identification... just the fact that the customer takes the name of the corporate is good enough... this should cause

1. people from the privileged corporates to come more often for dates/nightouts etc as they are not likely to be embarassed...
2. more people working other places to come there and take advantage of your no-id-required-policy... just to get a kick out of cheating you guys...

this along with good food and ambiance should do the trick...

[Matt T.]

Darian:

If you read this,
Please go wait tables for 3 months.
Then come back to me.

Or go run a resturant.
People like you make me want to shoot my self.

[Blue Mikey]

My problem with your second restaurant would be that I don't like banquet halls. I feel creepy in them. I can't remember ever having a good experience in a banquet hall. Usually, when I'm there, I'm supposed to be acting happier than I really am and pretending to know the guests of honor better than I do.

My other thought is something my father, who is also fascinated with restaurants, used to say: that restaurants that are physically difficult to get into are always the most successful. Narrow, cramped entryways are best. I presume the fire department would still like those restaurants to be easy to get out of, even if it's difficult to get in.

I'm often unhappy that I'm not rich and successful, but I'm also often happy that I'm not. Thinking about having to buy two restuarants because I'm rich and successful falls into the latter category. (Sorry.)

--Blue Mikey

[Darian]

Yikes! I'll keep this short.

- Why did you implement a banquet room? Did something go wrong or did it simply not take off? Sometimes it's best to pull the plug or change course.
- Pay attention to any comments from those who run banquet rooms. There must be a restaurant association you can tap for ideas.
- Word of mouth. After every event hosted have the manager who was on duty send a thank you not to the customer who booked the room. Make it personal, mentioning how fun it was to have Uncle Ted telling his stories from Africa. Ditto for the wedding planners and such who direct the business to you.
- Have you tried coordinating work outings/team building events? At my office every Wednesday the office is at a nearby bar for half price burger Wednesday. We end up there for happy hour. Convenience, good service, and habit.
- What are your neighborhood demographics? For some reason other restaurants have moved in on your turf.
- Promote those dishes familiar to people (pizza, burgers, etc).
- I assume the banquet food is the same as the dinner menu? I don't plan banquets, educate me. Build your own customers. Take a look at this tailor who does his own form of customer creation http://www.englishcut.com/

[RipplingBeast]

First, for the banquet room: if it doesn't have a hard wall, it's worthless. Build a wall, and set up a quality presentation system so someone can plug in a laptop to video and sound, and get to work. I've shopped long and hard for such places, and in the 21st century, they're annoyingly rare. There's also no chance I'd book a "private" room that wasn't private to both sight and sound; what's the point? My event WILL be interrupted by restaurant noise, so why bother?

And, I have to agree with the software guy's article about debugging restaurants. I hadn't thought of it, but the reason I've never placed my loyalty with any California restaurant is because they always manage to fokk up within two visits.

In the Midwest, that wasn't an issue, because they could teach a new hire how to do it and s/he'd do as s/he was damn well told, the first time, every time, certain shitholes in Chicago excepted. Consistency, cleanliness, and customer service are three things you can do to stand out from every California restaurant I've ever eaten at.

Some ways they've lost my business:

Waiter asks me if I want my water refilled. "Gee, are you gonna ask me if I'd like some air to breathe? I didn't come here to talk to YOU, I came here to talk with this lovely lady you see across from me. If the glass doesn't have a few healthy slugs left in it, FILL THE DAMN THING WITHOUT INTERRUPTING MY CONVERSATION. Twit." Of course, I never say that, but when a waiter gets it right, I tip heavily, and explain to him/her what they did to earn it, and ask them to tell other waitstaff. Ditto coffee and anything that has a free refill.

Restaurant with a long seating line has insufficient places to sit to wait.

Same restaurant has no service for the people waiting. Start my tab right then, bring me some appetizers or sodas or whatever I want while I wait. Outdoor tables too small to eat at but enabling service while waiting have worked wonders for a restaurant's reputation with me. Absence of anywhere to even sit has ended my custom there.

Noise. Kill the noise. One more time: end the noise. Only children like chaotic noise. ONLY children.

Servers who insist on taking time to advertise the special. I can read faster than you can talk, really, and you're taking time away from the lovely young lady I'm with. Explain to me how that's supposed to make you more money; really, I'd love to hear it. Put the special on a blackboard at the door, and/or have the server tell me about it WHILE we walk to the table.

Don't have the hostess walk me to the table. They should MANAGE the seating and greet newcomers. Have my server walk me to the table, and take my drink orders before leaving. Many restaurants have screwed up this one. They seat me and ignore me for several minutes. Very cool; can I get a subscription to this treatment? Maybe with a black-latex-clad mistress to whip me while I wait, and tell me I deserve to be treated like cattle?

Make it clean according to Oklahoma health code standards. You'd be surprised at the difference. For instance, there seems to be no rule in California that cooks have to wear hats or hairnets. At California Pizza Kitchen in Walnut Creek, right up the road from you, I and seven friends sat down to eat. Four of us found hair in our food, and the manager argued that there was no law requiring haircovers, as if that somehow excused him. We got up and walked out. I've also been in cafe-style restaurants where the forks were in a bin for the public to pull their own fork out of, TINES UP. That's just wrong. Pick your nose and reach for a fork, and contaminate four other ones while you're getting your own; it's a great way to express your hostility. It's also illegal in Oklahoma, but not in California. It's why, when out of state visitors ask me about restaurants, they're either dirty, clean, or "California clean," which I explain and let them take their chances.

Wobbly tables or chairs puts a restaurant on my shit list, too. That's such a simple problem to fix, I should NEVER encounter it. Ditto torn upholstery.

Notice I've never mentioned food quality? Even the hair doesn't count as food quality, that's cleanliness and management. The food may have been most excellent, but never made it into my mouth.

Perfumed soap in the bathroom. When I wash my hands, and then take a bite of food, the perfume on my hand wafts into my nose and badly affects the flavor of the food. I've taken to washing without soap at restaurants, and leaving if the water isn't hot enough to do the sanitizing job on its own. I eat food, not perfume.

Not-hot water in the bathroom. This is too easily done to let slide. And restaurant sinks should have foot pedals to control water flow, not handles. if you must have handles, have the kind that protrude and can be turned off with an elbow, so i don't touch everyone else's lame handwashing results right before eating.

Bathroom door handles. About one in ten men in California washes his hands after pissing, and it's gross. In the Midwest, I was in my twenties before I saw a man walk out of a restroom without washing his hands. In California, I went into mild horror-shock when I realized all the things I was touching that meant indirect contact with other men's dicks. Grooooooo-ossssss. Restaurants that have two-way doors with kick plates so I can open them with my foot or hip get high marks. And i flush with my foot, even urinals that require me to hike my leg up martial-arts style. Gimme a pedal for that, too, and if you use gadgets to flush for me, MAKE SURE THEY WORK 100% OF THE TIME.

Paper towel holders that ration out the towels. if I'm going to drop a hundred bucks on dinner, I get to dry my hands without fighting with a machine. Screw with this at your peril.

ANY bathroom stink. This is also too easily handled to let slide. Urine doesn't stink immediately; if I can smell stale urine, it's had a day or so to rot, which means bad management and a filthy kitchen. Don't cover it with perfume, either; I'll still smell it. Others do, too, they're just generally not as conscious of details as I am, so they can't explain why they stay away.

Stingy portions. Food's too cheap to send me away hungry, or force me to order two entrees to get a belly full (and, no, I'm not overweight or a glutton). California cuisine is notoriously light, which doesn't mean small portions and shouldn't be mistaken to mean small portions, so this is especially important in California cuisine restaurants. I don't go to restaurants because I'm not hungry; let ME decide when I've had enough.

Glass tabletops. They're pretty in the brochure, but they are messy, getting water rings on suit sleeves, etc.

Beer bottles and glasses. Bring one or the other, don't clutter the table. Either pour me a glass or bring me a bottle and I'll swig it (and people who sneer at my manners in that regard really can kiss my ass), but don't bring me a bottle of beer and an empty glass, leave it for me to pour, and then expect me to feel I got "served."

Fresh coffee cups. When I'm done with my first cup of coffee, I add the fixin's to the empty cup, and when the waiter pours the second one (without asking me, if he's on the ball), voila, the coffee's ready, adn I don't have to add stuff and stir. Taking away my old cup and bringing me a new cup every time forces me to repeat the operation. This is rare, but has happened, and required intervention on my part. Not cool.

Inaccurate menu pictures. Almost every menu has pictures, and they show the burritos as being fuller than they are, or the burgers are thicker, or the pasta is a bigger heap then I'll really get. The problem there is not only that I've been insulted by being lied to, it's that I can't properly decide what to order, because the proportions of one to the other will be different when the food arrives. I don't know if your menu has pictures, but if it does, there's a great deal of subliminal pissing off that goes on if the food doesn't match the picture.

Tablecloths that are long enough that when I slide my knees under the table, the cloth wants to go with them.

Servers without name tags or a note on the table telling me my server's name. I probably won't remember it when s/h/it tells me the first time.

Servers who don't scan their section EVERY time they enter or leave it to see who wants attention. I've fired waiters from the dinner theater for failing to do this, and rebuked waiters to their faces when i was the customer. It takes no effort, only a concern for your customers' well being, and is unheard of in California restaurants. Every damn time, I have to go to what I consider extremes to get the attention of my server, who may even be walking past my table WITHOUT EVEN CASTING AN ENQUIRING GLANCE AROUND.

Plastic gloves on food prep personnel. As a former meatcutter and restaurant manager (not at the same time), I can tell you authoritatively that those gloves have a higher tendency to grab and hold food particles and germs than latex surgical gloves, which are nearly as cheap, ten times as durable, far more comfortable, and don't interfere with dexterity. This isn't a dealbreaker as a customer for me, it's a management screw up and wasted money, because the plastic gloves get changed so much more often that they're actually more expensive than good disposable latex surgical gloves. Employees also hate them, and you can bet that they contribute a percentage point to your turnover in the kitchen. You can also wash your hands in surgical gloves, and get the gloves clean. And the public is impressed with the surgically-clean implication of seeing surgical gloves on food prep people, assuming they can see those people.

Poor-quality meat. USDA Prime or Choice are the only levels any sit-down restaurant has any business serving, but even then, the cook should examine meat before cooking, and discard anything that the USDA didn't spot. Many chefs inspect the meat when it arrives, and cull it, but many don't, or leave it up to lower-level cooks, which guarantees that some dedicated carnivore like me will end up irritated by gristle that shouldn't be there (Note to readers who may not be aware: the chef is the boss of the kitchen, and there's only one on duty at a time; it's the French and German word for "chief." Everyone else is a "cook" or lower, no matter their skill level or experience, "modern" nomenclature trends notwithstanding).

Bent tines on forks. The dishwasher should spot and pull or repair these; they belong in a middle school cafeteria.

All these things will cause people to not return. Maintaining standards that prevent them CONSISTENTLY will boost your customer base.

It's like selling gasoline, though that's an unfortunate comparison. Within a dime a gallon of price difference, people will always buy more gas from the cleaner gas station; even stains on the parking lot will cost you business.

[RipplingBeast]

And since you mention tax-cheating family restaurants, suppose you blog for us why we should pay Federal taxes when the Sixteenth Amendment authorizing them was never ratified, and the Feds absolutely refuse, even in court, to show any defendant or jury any law that requires an American citizen to pay Federal Income taxes.

I'm looking forward to the rhetorical gymnastics you perform to justify the extortion you support.

[Cliff]

You answered your own question. Quote from you Blog.

"Italian and Mexican themed restaurants are typically packed regardless of food or service."

[Simon Allen (in the UK)]

So a successful cartoonist got into the restaurant trade? Just goes to show that intelligence can let you down!!!

Lighting: Too right. If I am dining on my own (away from base on biz) then I am going to be reading a book and want to be able to see the words.

Menu: I want to be able to read the menu. Firstly, forget those fancy 'script' fonts. Also, do not let a 19 year old with 20-20 vision design the menu layout. They will choose 10pt fonts to get more in and win approval for using less paper. They will also use black ink on a red background. Red has lots of black in it and when you add in the 'mood' lighting - then the menu cannot be read. When I have to use the light from the screen of my cellphone to read the menu ... it's time to leave. I am middle aged and have ordinary 1.5 specs but there are many with poor and bad eyesight. Don't forget us!

Descriptions of food. If your establishment is presenting itself as an honest place to eat - make sure that the descriptions are short and honest. Also, please ensure that all ingredients are listed. I often have to send back food that has peppercorns in it. They protest that pepper is just 'ordinary' and does not need to be listed. I tell them that, since I cannot tolerate pepper in any form it is not 'ordinary' to me and I will not pay for the wasted meal.

Following that through:- ask the staff to list all the reasons that food gets sent back? Recently I sent back food because the plate was cold and the food already cool when it reached the table. I HATE cold plates. It generates an instant dislike of the place and a suspicion that they are scrimping.

Likewise descriptions of the wine, don't give me all that "Sumptous roses on the nose" spiel. Roses have thorns and I don't want them in my nose. Besides I want wine not a herb garden.

ps Since you are American, should I now say, "Have a nice day."? Much better to have a nice night.

[John S]

Just a thought, but it sounds like you are limited by the people in the area that you have your restaurants. Have you thought of doing something radical like moving to another city in another country like Taiwan ,China, Indonesia...actually that would be a very big change.

[jim]

When you say Mexican and Italian "themed" I assume you are talking about the Americanized chain versions, a la Chevy's, Olive Garden, etc.?

One of their commonalities is "free" food before you even get your meal; chips/salsa, salad/breadsticks, etc. I bet if you polled people on what they like most about The Olive Garden, 9 out of 10 would say the breadsticks.

A second common theme is getting way more food than any 2 people should ever eat in one sitting. This kind of goes with the first one in that there seems to be some sort of powerful attraction for Uhmericans to go someplace where every entree on the menu is more food than they can possibly eat in one go, especially after the chips and bread sticks before hand. I read an article somewhere that the average meal at a Mexican place was over 2000 calories... (I don't know how much increasing serving sizes raises overhead. It seems to me the restaraunts that specialize in this theme have pretty simple base foods; beans/few types of meat/tortillas, pasta/few types of meat/sauces... I suppose this could also be a ethical/legal issue. You might wind up getting sued by a bunch of fat people 5 or 10 years from now. Do you think "I can't help that they are just (fat) moist robots" would stand up in court? Maybe if you point out that Einstein didn't believe in free will either?)

As for you banquet room, have you talked to any wedding planners? Between rehearsal dinners and receptions alone you could do pretty well.

Good luck!

[sriram]

http://www.karmatube.org/videos.php?id=108
this is the special story of johnny the bagger.
this is how one builds customer loyalty and a supreme experience.

[Kent]

Scott, In case you missed the suggestino I posted in the prior post I advocated that you allow cats into the restaurant on certain days of the week. the cats would sit in special chairs. And there would be spaghetti dishes on the menu designed for them. Cats like spaghetti. And people would be more willing to eat in your restaurant if the cats would be brought in.

[Zannie]

Someone else (probably several people; I'm late to the game and haven't read all the comments) suggested memorizing your patrons' names and using them often.

Personally, I hate this trend. It really bugs me when people I don't know use my name. Calling out my name to tell me my order is ready is one thing (though that's a different kind of restaurant) but saying my name just for the sake of saying my name feels like marketing, not personal attention.

Now, if I were to go to an establishment often enough where the staff genuinely knew me, and we kind of got to be friends, that would be fine. But reading the name on my credit card and repeating it three times in every sentence makes me want to go elsewhere.

[Patrick R. Sullivan]

Since there clearly is already a market for short term meeting space met by every large hotel, I'd wander around the lobbies of the hotels closest to your restaurants. They always have a directory of events posted, so the attendees can find theirs. You might, Yogi Berra-like, see a lot by observing.

Or, chat up the hotels' employees who service the banquet rooms. You might bump into someone who'd be interested in working out some kind of partnership (say, 10-20% of revenue generated by any groups steered your way).

I've been to a lot of different industry seminars in banquet rooms. Financial planners, insurance sales, business consulting, landscaping materials suppliers (John Deere does them regularly), or any business that needs some face time with their customers to keep them up to date on new products or industry trends.

Or, judging by the volume of comments here, Dilbert Blog Commenters' Nights.

[The Intern]

That's an excellent idea!

(Please search "The Intern" in the last blog, and read the comment)

[The Intern]

That's an excellent idea!

(Please search "The Intern" in the last blog, and read the comment)

[Chrisgiraffe]

Trying to help someone who makes a cartoon I've enjoyed over the years

I've been tallying and organizing the data replies you have for "Oh Great Blog Brain" and placed it in Excel. I'm not done but intend to finish sometime next week. I've divided the replies into 9 groups. These are: Discount, Event, Gimmick, Marketing, Promotional, Reorganization, Close shop, Do Nothing and Unclassifyable.

Of the 354 responses I've tallied the most suggested idea is also the dumbest and I'm going to stop counting it in the future. That is, at present I've read 62 unique replies suggesting Adams market to a group. About half of those didn't specify a group, the other half did. For some reason these knuckle heads think that if their own group somehow knows about the place they will eat there. Another segment of this group believes that such groups can be herded in a "decision maker" who Adams should give a discount for the sheepdogging. Suggested groups (aside from civic, rotary, etc.) include:
Alergy Sufferers
Book club
Bookcrossers
Charity
Civil War Reenactors
Ethnic
Funeral Homes
Gays
Irish Folk Music Lovers
Knitters
Magicians
Realtors
Seedy Struggling Musicians
Surfers
Teen talk
Wedding
Weight Watchers

The 2nd largest reply (14 current count = 14cc) suggests that Adams shows up in person for regular promotion. This includes everything from signing dolls to doodling customers at $100 a pop.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc) suggest that they improve the website. I agree with this one.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc, tied) is for him to do nothing (but everyone was sure to say it in a three page rambling essay)

The 4th largest reply (11cc) is for him to make the restaurant "Dilbert Themed" in some manner. This typically includes changing the name, menu, staff costumes, decor, etc.

The 5th largest reply (9cc) is to reduce prices.

6th largest reply (8cc) is to host weekly speed dating events. Note: from most of the replies on the board I would say there are a lot of lonely guys reading "Dilbert".

7th largest reply (7cc) is to increase prices, improve the image and "throw the cheap bums to the curb". OK, I added the bums part.

8 largest reply (6cc) is to introduce a greater or full vegan menu.

9th largest reply (5cc) is to have a "Dilbert Give-A-Way". These are all variations of the same thing where Adams gives away something Dilbert related for free, like copyright or a signed doll to every kid who walks in unaccompanied by an adult.

9th largest reply (5cc - tie) is to hire a consultant. Usually these guys suggest they hire them. One of the funniest had all these great suggesttions followed by, 'and then I'd sell the place, take the money and run while you can'. I think all marketing consultants have this in the back of their minds, this one was just dumb enough to write it out loud.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) is to close shop. These people think the Adams family can't hack it.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) suggest Adams should have a live music night once a week. This is the group who love to reply to things without reading them first since Scott said he had already tried live music and is looking for new ideas. You people recieve an "F" for opening your booklet before hearing the instructions.

9th largest reply (5cc- tie) suggests Adams should improve customer service. This is about the lamest reply I ever read. I almost put it in the 'do nothing' category because how is Scott or anyone supposed to improve customer service, hypnotism? Wait!!!!! Don't answer that rhetorical question. If you're like me you already understand that 'improve customer service' is marketing speak for 'expensive hogwash'.

So, those are the largest reply groups. The following can be counted as 5 or less similar replies at current count.

Loyalty/Frequent cutomer discount
Grown Ups (no kids allowed) night
Quiz Night
Groups
Downsize café
Introduce cheap appetizer
Coupons
For groups or large purchases
Movie night
Start unusual rumor
Groups
Attactive Staff
Change everything
Expand Chain
Hire professional staff
Improve Food
Remove "cal cuisine" label
Remove 20% Gratuity
Remove comedy from menu
menu
"Why I enjoyed eating here competition"
Happy Hour (30% off drinks)
Harley night
Host radio show
Kareoke night
Poker
Weekly Iron Chef event
Make staff not act like a wait staff (e.g. rude waiters)
Rent-a-Crowd
Redirect traffic w/ better/odd signage
Search engine (local Yahoo)
Free Food on occasion
Change entire menu
Child entertainment room
include comic drawings on menu
Rename room
Rent out banquet hall
resteraunt type
10% or more for e-mail address
Charge less for banquet meals
For largest tab (at random)
Free Coffee
Friday Discount
Give money to charity
Seniors
Best customer house pic night
"Conversation Dinner" as invented by Theodore Zeldin
"Masked Nights" (great for cheaters)
American Sign Language Night
BBW night
Beerfest
Caricature night (you draw people for $100/pop)
Celebrity cook night
Cooking lessons
Dancing lessons
Food/Wine tasting with expert guest speaker
Gagline contest
Happy Hour for Engineers
Hire an Imrove Group
Internet game happy hour
Ladies night
Language Club
Live Podcaster Show
Motivational speaker
Mystery Dinner Theater
No children nights
Outdoor food festival
Raise charity money for countries who's food you may serve (Indian, Pakistan, Lebanese) once a week
Read your teenage journal/diary nights
Scrapbooking
Singles night
Titanic night (including menu)
Weekly exclusive party night
Weekly Octoberfest
Wine Tasting
Become the birthday spot in town
Build an indoor slide
Entertainers
Free face painting
Generate Press for restaurant by imitating Paris Hilton style shenanigans
Get a good food review in paper through bribery
Hang and sell art on wall for commission
Have a TV show run about your rest.
Leave toys on tables
Life sized Dilbert handing out coupons in front
Make the staff dress/act like Dilbert characters
Musical Chairs with food
park employees in front of restaurant
Pets eat free
Put pictures of local houses on walls
Advertise Banquet room exists
Advertise on Dilbert.com
email address for discount
50% nights for uniformed civil servants
Documentary
Free food on random numeric basis
Free food to local hotel workers
Free lunch for DJ and Winner- live show
Give free rent to small church in exchange for patronage
Offer free samples
Offer free samples
Talk to business groups and market rest.
"Wall of Fame"
All U Can Eat (change Item nightly)
Ask women to de-shoe
Beer hall seating
Big screen TV's which look like windows, connected to existing webcams around the world
BYO without corkage (whatever that means)
Change décor to something more beautiful
Develop house beer/wine
Do something crazy, odd and senseless on a regular basis at random.
Fire waitstaff, replace with electronic menus (have busboys pick up the slack?)
Improve coffee
Include Peruvian food
Increase size
Install TV's in bathroom
Keep correspondence with customers
Keep Goats
Make it "multi-use"
Move to places without restaurants (like New Orleans)
New name
Online ordering
Open floor space, no secluded rooms
Paper table clothes and crayons
regular cabaret shows (gentlemans club)
Shorten Menu
Smoking allowed
Stay open 24 hours
Unisex bathrooms
Use banquet room to serve buffets
"Apply Porter's 5 forces"
"Network"
Local food night (advertise that you use ingredients which came from no more than 100 miles from rest. I guess that rules out any migrating species of fish)

As you can see, the last three were unclassifyable and humorously stupid in their ambiguity or poor logic. I will continue counting and will hope to have a sum of all responses by next week.

[Chrisgiraffe]

Trying to help someone who makes a cartoon I've enjoyed over the years

I've been tallying and organizing the data replies you have for "Oh Great Blog Brain" and placed it in Excel. I'm not done but intend to finish sometime next week. I've divided the replies into 9 groups. These are: Discount, Event, Gimmick, Marketing, Promotional, Reorganization, Close shop, Do Nothing and Unclassifyable.

Of the 354 responses I've tallied the most suggested idea is also the dumbest and I'm going to stop counting it in the future. That is, at present I've read 62 unique replies suggesting Adams market to a group. About half of those didn't specify a group, the other half did. For some reason these knuckle heads think that if their own group somehow knows about the place they will eat there. Another segment of this group believes that such groups can be herded in a "decision maker" who Adams should give a discount for the sheepdogging. Suggested groups (aside from civic, rotary, etc.) include:
Alergy Sufferers
Book club
Bookcrossers
Charity
Civil War Reenactors
Ethnic
Funeral Homes
Gays
Irish Folk Music Lovers
Knitters
Magicians
Realtors
Seedy Struggling Musicians
Surfers
Teen talk
Wedding
Weight Watchers

The 2nd largest reply (14 current count = 14cc) suggests that Adams shows up in person for regular promotion. This includes everything from signing dolls to doodling customers at $100 a pop.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc) suggest that they improve the website. I agree with this one.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc, tied) is for him to do nothing (but everyone was sure to say it in a three page rambling essay)

The 4th largest reply (11cc) is for him to make the restaurant "Dilbert Themed" in some manner. This typically includes changing the name, menu, staff costumes, decor, etc.

The 5th largest reply (9cc) is to reduce prices.

6th largest reply (8cc) is to host weekly speed dating events. Note: from most of the replies on the board I would say there are a lot of lonely guys reading "Dilbert".

7th largest reply (7cc) is to increase prices, improve the image and "throw the cheap bums to the curb". OK, I added the bums part.

8 largest reply (6cc) is to introduce a greater or full vegan menu.

9th largest reply (5cc) is to have a "Dilbert Give-A-Way". These are all variations of the same thing where Adams gives away something Dilbert related for free, like copyright or a signed doll to every kid who walks in unaccompanied by an adult.

9th largest reply (5cc - tie) is to hire a consultant. Usually these guys suggest they hire them. One of the funniest had all these great suggesttions followed by, 'and then I'd sell the place, take the money and run while you can'. I think all marketing consultants have this in the back of their minds, this one was just dumb enough to write it out loud.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) is to close shop. These people think the Adams family can't hack it.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) suggest Adams should have a live music night once a week. This is the group who love to reply to things without reading them first since Scott said he had already tried live music and is looking for new ideas. You people recieve an "F" for opening your booklet before hearing the instructions.

9th largest reply (5cc- tie) suggests Adams should improve customer service. This is about the lamest reply I ever read. I almost put it in the 'do nothing' category because how is Scott or anyone supposed to improve customer service, hypnotism? Wait!!!!! Don't answer that rhetorical question. If you're like me you already understand that 'improve customer service' is marketing speak for 'expensive hogwash'.

So, those are the largest reply groups. The following can be counted as 5 or less similar replies at current count.

Loyalty/Frequent cutomer discount
Grown Ups (no kids allowed) night
Quiz Night
Groups
Downsize café
Introduce cheap appetizer
Coupons
For groups or large purchases
Movie night
Start unusual rumor
Groups
Attactive Staff
Change everything
Expand Chain
Hire professional staff
Improve Food
Remove "cal cuisine" label
Remove 20% Gratuity
Remove comedy from menu
menu
"Why I enjoyed eating here competition"
Happy Hour (30% off drinks)
Harley night
Host radio show
Kareoke night
Poker
Weekly Iron Chef event
Make staff not act like a wait staff (e.g. rude waiters)
Rent-a-Crowd
Redirect traffic w/ better/odd signage
Search engine (local Yahoo)
Free Food on occasion
Change entire menu
Child entertainment room
include comic drawings on menu
Rename room
Rent out banquet hall
resteraunt type
10% or more for e-mail address
Charge less for banquet meals
For largest tab (at random)
Free Coffee
Friday Discount
Give money to charity
Seniors
Best customer house pic night
"Conversation Dinner" as invented by Theodore Zeldin
"Masked Nights" (great for cheaters)
American Sign Language Night
BBW night
Beerfest
Caricature night (you draw people for $100/pop)
Celebrity cook night
Cooking lessons
Dancing lessons
Food/Wine tasting with expert guest speaker
Gagline contest
Happy Hour for Engineers
Hire an Imrove Group
Internet game happy hour
Ladies night
Language Club
Live Podcaster Show
Motivational speaker
Mystery Dinner Theater
No children nights
Outdoor food festival
Raise charity money for countries who's food you may serve (Indian, Pakistan, Lebanese) once a week
Read your teenage journal/diary nights
Scrapbooking
Singles night
Titanic night (including menu)
Weekly exclusive party night
Weekly Octoberfest
Wine Tasting
Become the birthday spot in town
Build an indoor slide
Entertainers
Free face painting
Generate Press for restaurant by imitating Paris Hilton style shenanigans
Get a good food review in paper through bribery
Hang and sell art on wall for commission
Have a TV show run about your rest.
Leave toys on tables
Life sized Dilbert handing out coupons in front
Make the staff dress/act like Dilbert characters
Musical Chairs with food
park employees in front of restaurant
Pets eat free
Put pictures of local houses on walls
Advertise Banquet room exists
Advertise on Dilbert.com
email address for discount
50% nights for uniformed civil servants
Documentary
Free food on random numeric basis
Free food to local hotel workers
Free lunch for DJ and Winner- live show
Give free rent to small church in exchange for patronage
Offer free samples
Offer free samples
Talk to business groups and market rest.
"Wall of Fame"
All U Can Eat (change Item nightly)
Ask women to de-shoe
Beer hall seating
Big screen TV's which look like windows, connected to existing webcams around the world
BYO without corkage (whatever that means)
Change décor to something more beautiful
Develop house beer/wine
Do something crazy, odd and senseless on a regular basis at random.
Fire waitstaff, replace with electronic menus (have busboys pick up the slack?)
Improve coffee
Include Peruvian food
Increase size
Install TV's in bathroom
Keep correspondence with customers
Keep Goats
Make it "multi-use"
Move to places without restaurants (like New Orleans)
New name
Online ordering
Open floor space, no secluded rooms
Paper table clothes and crayons
regular cabaret shows (gentlemans club)
Shorten Menu
Smoking allowed
Stay open 24 hours
Unisex bathrooms
Use banquet room to serve buffets
"Apply Porter's 5 forces"
"Network"
Local food night (advertise that you use ingredients which came from no more than 100 miles from rest. I guess that rules out any migrating species of fish)

As you can see, the last three were unclassifyable and humorously stupid in their ambiguity or poor logic. I will continue counting and will hope to have a sum of all responses by next week.

[Chrisgiraffe]

Trying to help someone who makes a cartoon I've enjoyed over the years

I've been tallying and organizing the data replies you have for "Oh Great Blog Brain" and placed it in Excel. I'm not done but intend to finish sometime next week. I've divided the replies into 9 groups. These are: Discount, Event, Gimmick, Marketing, Promotional, Reorganization, Close shop, Do Nothing and Unclassifyable.

Of the 354 responses I've tallied the most suggested idea is also the dumbest and I'm going to stop counting it in the future. That is, at present I've read 62 unique replies suggesting Adams market to a group. About half of those didn't specify a group, the other half did. For some reason these knuckle heads think that if their own group somehow knows about the place they will eat there. Another segment of this group believes that such groups can be herded in a "decision maker" who Adams should give a discount for the sheepdogging. Suggested groups (aside from civic, rotary, etc.) include:
Alergy Sufferers
Book club
Bookcrossers
Charity
Civil War Reenactors
Ethnic
Funeral Homes
Gays
Irish Folk Music Lovers
Knitters
Magicians
Realtors
Seedy Struggling Musicians
Surfers
Teen talk
Wedding
Weight Watchers

The 2nd largest reply (14 current count = 14cc) suggests that Adams shows up in person for regular promotion. This includes everything from signing dolls to doodling customers at $100 a pop.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc) suggest that they improve the website. I agree with this one.

The 3rd largest reply (12cc, tied) is for him to do nothing (but everyone was sure to say it in a three page rambling essay)

The 4th largest reply (11cc) is for him to make the restaurant "Dilbert Themed" in some manner. This typically includes changing the name, menu, staff costumes, decor, etc.

The 5th largest reply (9cc) is to reduce prices.

6th largest reply (8cc) is to host weekly speed dating events. Note: from most of the replies on the board I would say there are a lot of lonely guys reading "Dilbert".

7th largest reply (7cc) is to increase prices, improve the image and "throw the cheap bums to the curb". OK, I added the bums part.

8 largest reply (6cc) is to introduce a greater or full vegan menu.

9th largest reply (5cc) is to have a "Dilbert Give-A-Way". These are all variations of the same thing where Adams gives away something Dilbert related for free, like copyright or a signed doll to every kid who walks in unaccompanied by an adult.

9th largest reply (5cc - tie) is to hire a consultant. Usually these guys suggest they hire them. One of the funniest had all these great suggesttions followed by, 'and then I'd sell the place, take the money and run while you can'. I think all marketing consultants have this in the back of their minds, this one was just dumb enough to write it out loud.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) is to close shop. These people think the Adams family can't hack it.

9th largest reply (5cc-tie) suggest Adams should have a live music night once a week. This is the group who love to reply to things without reading them first since Scott said he had already tried live music and is looking for new ideas. You people recieve an "F" for opening your booklet before hearing the instructions.

9th largest reply (5cc- tie) suggests Adams should improve customer service. This is about the lamest reply I ever read. I almost put it in the 'do nothing' category because how is Scott or anyone supposed to improve customer service, hypnotism? Wait!!!!! Don't answer that rhetorical question. If you're like me you already understand that 'improve customer service' is marketing speak for 'expensive hogwash'.

So, those are the largest reply groups. The following can be counted as 5 or less similar replies at current count.

Loyalty/Frequent cutomer discount
Grown Ups (no kids allowed) night
Quiz Night
Groups
Downsize café
Introduce cheap appetizer
Coupons
For groups or large purchases
Movie night
Start unusual rumor
Groups
Attactive Staff
Change everything
Expand Chain
Hire professional staff
Improve Food
Remove "cal cuisine" label
Remove 20% Gratuity
Remove comedy from menu
menu
"Why I enjoyed eating here competition"
Happy Hour (30% off drinks)
Harley night
Host radio show
Kareoke night
Poker
Weekly Iron Chef event
Make staff not act like a wait staff (e.g. rude waiters)
Rent-a-Crowd
Redirect traffic w/ better/odd signage
Search engine (local Yahoo)
Free Food on occasion
Change entire menu
Child entertainment room
include comic drawings on menu
Rename room
Rent out banquet hall
resteraunt type
10% or more for e-mail address
Charge less for banquet meals
For largest tab (at random)
Free Coffee
Friday Discount
Give money to charity
Seniors
Best customer house pic night
"Conversation Dinner" as invented by Theodore Zeldin
"Masked Nights" (great for cheaters)
American Sign Language Night
BBW night
Beerfest
Caricature night (you draw people for $100/pop)
Celebrity cook night
Cooking lessons
Dancing lessons
Food/Wine tasting with expert guest speaker
Gagline contest
Happy Hour for Engineers
Hire an Imrove Group
Internet game happy hour
Ladies night
Language Club
Live Podcaster Show
Motivational speaker
Mystery Dinner Theater
No children nights
Outdoor food festival
Raise charity money for countries who's food you may serve (Indian, Pakistan, Lebanese) once a week
Read your teenage journal/diary nights
Scrapbooking
Singles night
Titanic night (including menu)
Weekly exclusive party night
Weekly Octoberfest
Wine Tasting
Become the birthday spot in town
Build an indoor slide
Entertainers
Free face painting
Generate Press for restaurant by imitating Paris Hilton style shenanigans
Get a good food review in paper through bribery
Hang and sell art on wall for commission
Have a TV show run about your rest.
Leave toys on tables
Life sized Dilbert handing out coupons in front
Make the staff dress/act like Dilbert characters
Musical Chairs with food
park employees in front of restaurant
Pets eat free
Put pictures of local houses on walls
Advertise Banquet room exists
Advertise on Dilbert.com
email address for discount
50% nights for uniformed civil servants
Documentary
Free food on random numeric basis
Free food to local hotel workers
Free lunch for DJ and Winner- live show
Give free rent to small church in exchange for patronage
Offer free samples
Offer free samples
Talk to business groups and market rest.
"Wall of Fame"
All U Can Eat (change Item nightly)
Ask women to de-shoe
Beer hall seating
Big screen TV's which look like windows, connected to existing webcams around the world
BYO without corkage (whatever that means)
Change décor to something more beautiful
Develop house beer/wine
Do something crazy, odd and senseless on a regular basis at random.
Fire waitstaff, replace with electronic menus (have busboys pick up the slack?)
Improve coffee
Include Peruvian food
Increase size
Install TV's in bathroom
Keep correspondence with customers
Keep Goats
Make it "multi-use"
Move to places without restaurants (like New Orleans)
New name
Online ordering
Open floor space, no secluded rooms
Paper table clothes and crayons
regular cabaret shows (gentlemans club)
Shorten Menu
Smoking allowed
Stay open 24 hours
Unisex bathrooms
Use banquet room to serve buffets
"Apply Porter's 5 forces"
"Network"
Local food night (advertise that you use ingredients which came from no more than 100 miles from rest. I guess that rules out any migrating species of fish)

As you can see, the last three were unclassifyable and humorously stupid in their ambiguity or poor logic. I will continue counting and will hope to have a sum of all responses by next week.

[Chad Lamoreaux]

I am glad you mentioned the lighting aspect of a restaurant. As I am in the lighting industry I am always surprised at how often Lighting is over looked in several areas of life. I agree with you about lighting being very important in a restaurant and can tell you my family and I frequent certain restaurants because of the atmosphere that is set by the lighting and not because the food is the best or the pricing is comfortable simply because we like the atmosphere and the lighting.

[Steve Smyth]

Hi Scott -

I apologize in advance for not having a humorous response, but I took the liberty of posting a link to your blog entry on a listserve of professional meeting planners to which I subscribe. I received several responses, but thought you may want to hear from someone who has direct experience with your restaurants. Here's what she had to say:

"Hi -- I have been going to Stacey's in Pleasanton and Dublin for years. The Dublin restaurant has VERY limited private space and as I recall there is no hard wall separating it from the main dining room…..there is just a heavy curtain. As a corporate planner, I've never considered using it for anything other than a private meal. Not sure what he wants to know, but if he wants to draw business meetings, follow the lead of restaurants like Morton's...they have high tech A/V equipment in their private rooms. (I actually live in Dublin and worked in Pleasanton for 5 years...so very familiar with the properties...and my opinion is that the food is better at the original location in Pleasanton.)"

Thought you could use the professional insight - have a great day!

- Steve

[long johns parrots ghosts friend from overseas]

ok obvious answer to higher profits assuming your customer sharing theory is right - OPEN MORE RESTAURANTS just make the quality good enough and you know you will increase your market share.

[Johnski]

I love that Scott's decision on owning two restaurants is based on the fact that it is "fascinating". I think that should pretty much be the basis of why anyone does anything.

http://awritersblock.com

[Eric]

Interesting article on what Joel thinks makes a successful restaurant.

http://www.joelonsoftware.com/articles/ForewordtoPPM.html

[Rayonic]

It's a good point that people won't go to your restaurant if they have no idea what kind of place it is. I hate going to a place and not knowing the "right" thing to order, so instead of ordering the place's specialty I get something they pop in the microwave for 5 minutes.

Perhaps everything at Stacey's is great, but how am I to know that? Consider getting one of those signs that say " Steak * Seafood * Drinks " (or whatever). Put on on your sign out front, and while you're at it make sure all your signs/logos look professional. Ideally you want to fool people into thinking that you're a national chain that's just moving into the area.

Frankly, the name "Stacey's Cafe" is a damn hinderance. "Cafe" implies small, and "Stacey's" implies unprofessionalism. The name implies that this is a restaurant run as a hobby. You'd need a real kickass logo to compensate. (And the one at http://www.staceyscafe.com/ doesn't cut it.)

[billmcf]

One factor often overlooked by restaurants is noise. Not just the noise of the kitchen but the noise of the patrons. If I have to raise my voice to talk to my companions, I won't be back. I also don't want to hear conversations from the next table.

Scott talked about having the right lighting. An acoustical engineer can help make sure your restaurant doesn't just look right but sounds right.

P.S.: I am not an acoustical engineer, but I have hired them.

[Sean Arenas]

It's difficult to scroll all the way down on a blog with 1000+ comments on it, so I will use this one.

Maybe you've already tried many of the ideas people suggest, and perhaps this one, but perhaps a different spin or flavor on the idea is what really makes it worth trying again.

I'd recommend giving out a special Group discount coupon to your customers who regularly come as single or double. Make them bring 3 get 4th person free, or bring 5 get 6th person free. Get them to bring friends who have probably never been there before.
Or to any group who regularly comes as a small number, give them a bigger group discount. You may earn a new regular customer (or regular group) that way.

If you combine this with Todd's idea of memorizing the guest names, giving them regular servers so the servers can get to know what they like and how they like to be treated, it will make everyone feel very welcome.

Imagine a couple who brings two new guests on their next visit for the first time, and the server knows exactly how this couple likes to be treated. The new guests will be amazed at the easy and comfortable service they receive, and will probably talk the restaurant up.

[Todd]

Scott,

Go for groups that don't already have a meeting place, or a central office. If they don't have a place to gather, they'll need one so why not use yours?

The best class is the homeless "business owner": Network Marketers, especially the ones that promote health, nutrition and beauty. You can Google all day to find 1000 of them. They regularly have group meetings to applaud and promote each other, most of them have plenty of cash, and they always prefer to meet in nice clean places to help maintain the healthy image they have of themselves. That means *avoiding* Italian and Mexican, and *avoiding* Indian and Thai, so "California Cuisine" substitutes nicely.

They have convinced themselves that they are selling and recruiting to support their personal preferences of liking the product. By choosing you, they can be internally consistent with that decision (ala "Influence").

As you walk around the restaurant as the owner asking "How's the food?" follow-up with "You know, I've been worried about my health as I get older. Do you have any suggestions, or know of any high-quality products, that are out there? The off-the-shelf stuff at the store just isn't good enough." MANY eyes will light up and you'll have an aquarium full of network marketing business cards before you know it.

Vitamins, minerals, herbs, hair care, skin care, shoe polish, soap, stomach upset solutions, alkaline water, you name it. My personal favorites are upper-middle class women selling beauty products. Mary Kay has a lot of volume, but Arbonne is actually a better product, and those women know it too. Anything and everything you need for personal hygiene will show up in the purses and briefcases of your restaurants everyday.

You don't have to BUY anything. They always carry samples (ala "Influence"). When they contact you three days later to follow-up on how you liked the samples, you can open the door: "It was great! By the way, when is your next area meeting? I'd like to learn more." Wait for the audible gasp then let them explain the "when and where" so you learn a little about your competition – other restaurants? hotel conference rooms? school gymnasiums? If the opportunity is there, offer your place for a future meeting. "You know I have a banquet hall, right? I could help your upline with a little Californina Cuisine for the next Regional Director promotion." Be creative.

Spend the time to learn a little of the lingo, be interested (i.e. Google the product), DELAY offering your space until they believe you think positively about THEIR product, and you're in like Flint.

Todd

[Iggy]

Wow, CA is expensive. I couldn't afford to eat at your place based on an upstate NY salary. I guess if you can afford the million bucks for a small split level ranch with a metal roofed carport in the area, then the $16 for a cobb salad isn't a big deal. I get the same cobb salad in upstate NY for $8 at a place called Casey's. It's in a sh!tty part of NY, but the food is good.

If you want to put butt's in seats consistently... you got to live up to the cheers theme song. Have all your wait staff start memorizing names. To do this they obviously have to ask the persons name when they say their name. "Hi, I'm scott, and i'll be your server tonight. And who am I serving? Nice to meet you Bill and Susan, if there is anything I can get you Bill, or Susan, just let me know." Then use their names every chance you get. Then greet them by name when they come back. If you have a "greeter" this person should have a photographic memory and recall names very well.

People love the sound of their name, and people really do like to go where everybody knows it.

[Todd]

Scott,

Go for groups that don't already have a meeting place, or a central office. If they don't have a place to gather, they'll need one so why not use yours?

The best class is the homeless "business owner": Network Marketers, especially the ones that promote health, nutrition and beauty. You can Google all day to find 1000 of them. They regularly have group meetings to applaud and promote each other, most of them have plenty of cash, and they always prefer to meet in nice clean places to help maintain the healthy image they have of themselves. That means *avoiding* Italian and Mexican, and *avoiding* Indian and Thai, so "California Cuisine" substitutes nicely.

They have convinced themselves that they are selling and recruiting to support their personal preferences of liking the product. By choosing you, they can be internally consistent with that decision (ala "Influence").

As you walk around the restaurant as the owner asking "How's the food?" follow-up with "You know, I've been worried about my health as I get older. Do you have any suggestions, or know of any high-quality products, that are out there? The off-the-shelf stuff at the store just isn't good enough." MANY eyes will light up and you'll have an aquarium full of network marketing business cards before you know it.

Vitamins, minerals, herbs, hair care, skin care, shoe polish, soap, stomach upset solutions, alkaline water, you name it. My personal favorites are upper-middle class women selling beauty products. Mary Kay has a lot of volume, but Arbonne is actually a better product, and those women know it too. Anything and everything you need for personal hygiene will show up in the purses and briefcases of your restaurants everyday.

You don't have to BUY anything. They always carry samples (ala "Influence"). When they contact you three days later to follow-up on how you liked the samples, you can open the door: "It was great! By the way, when is your next area meeting? I'd like to learn more." Wait for the audible gasp then let them explain the "when and where" so you learn a little about your competition – other restaurants? hotel conference rooms? school gymnasiums? If the opportunity is there, offer your place for a future meeting. "You know I have a banquet hall, right? I could help your upline with a little Californina Cuisine for the next Regional Director promotion." Be creative.

Spend the time to learn a little of the lingo, be interested (i.e. Google the product), DELAY offering your space until they believe you think positively about THEIR product, and you're in like Flint.

Todd

[Ron Hardin]

I invited an important company visiting personage out to lunch at Bob Evans' long ago for some genuine Ohio lunch fixin's. We noticed as we approached the door a pool of vomit on the steps. I of course said that they were probably on the way in, not on the way out, so not to worry about it.

Nevertheless, I recommend promptly cleaning up pools of anything near the entrance.

[Dee]

I don't think we are the kind of society who does a lot of banquets any more. Other than wedding rehearsal dinners.
Back in the day, the local schools had banquets at the drop of a hat but that no longer seems to be a truism.

What about marketing to upscale baby showers, wedding showers, bachelor/bachelorette parties, etc?

Do you offer like half of the banquet room? Maybe splitting the room would make it seem more cosey, and affordable, for birthday parties and other such events.

Now this is a wild idea. What about a book signing in the banquet area sort of as an advertising type thing? Just to let a whole new crowd of people realize that you even HAVE a banquet room available. I didn't mean you as the signer, per se, any well known author to draw a crowd.

[biggles]

my main method of determining where I'm going to eat at is whether or not the parking lot is full. if it is I'm going somewhere else.

[pierre]

Just ask yourself what are the reasons why YOU would pick one restaurant and not another for a nice night out.

About lighting : here in Switzerland a new concept of restaurants is getting popular : lights-out restaurants.
You eat in near to total darkness.
These are successful over here and you need to make reservations like a week in advance. OK, that's kind of a hip thing and I reckon this might not apply to the kind of local clientele you're seeking to attract, I'm just telling you what works here.

[Stephen W. Stanton]

Leverage what you know. People want variety. Give it to them. Make the banquet room VERY different from the other section. Your restaurant will now have two slots in the rotation.

Lots of great NYC restaurants have an upscale & downscale section. Even separate entrances. (e.g., Jean Georges.) The regular restaurant, and the "Grill". Make the menu at the grill a slightly simpler version, slightly less expensive, more sandwiches, etc. The nicer half should have fancier bread on the table, more fanfare, no sneakers allowed, etc.

The goal should be to stay as consistent as possible to your brand, while varying it enough to make some people go twice in one day. Business lunch in one section, date in the other (or vice versa).

[Domino]

If you do have your restaurant become more "Dilbert" themed (with speaking appearances by you) and fate forbid something horrific happens to you, your restaurant may suffer greatly as well.

Just another thought to throw into the pile.

[Furzyweb]

Charity Can Be Profitable

I've run a local charity for years and a few years ago, we struck upon the idea of the "Super Sushi Sensation." We went to a local Chinese Restaurant that had a great sushi bar, we had a few drinks, we ate some good food and had a great time. The charity made most of it's money off a Silent Auction.

The neat part was that the restaurant owner thanked me a few months later. He had given me a good price and done a great job but the key to his happiness were all the new customers I had introduced to his restaurant. Many of the people who came to the fundraiser had never thought to visit his restaurant, now he not only has these new folks, he has their circle of friends, who they have introduced the restaurant to.

[gl hoffman]

Just serve one thing at the banquet hall. No exceptions. How about fried chicken, fresh corn (not out of the can), and the absolute best mashed potatoes and gravy around.
Seriously.
No one serves that. Comfort food to the tenth.

[Ben]

I'm a deaf family man with more than enough disposal income to take the family out to eat quite frequently. If I need to make a reservation, I will show a preference for restaurants whose tables can be reserved over the internet though third party websites sites like opentable.com. My speech isn't perfect, but in nominal conditions I can be understood by most people. I prefer restaurants whose acoustics are reasonably controlled so that the people serving my table can understand me and my wife. If I can't be understood, I will point to the menu to identify the item I want. I expect the person serving my table to know what items are on their menu and where. Based on where I put my finger on the menu, I expect the person serving my table to know what I am pointing at. Unfortunately, with restaurants whose servers do not know what's on their menu or their menus have a highly cluttered design or worse, I get a server who can't read, it is not unusual for me to end up getting the wrong dish from an entree directly above or below where I pointed.

[Gabriel]

Scott, thanks for clarify what is the importance of there two food chains. I live in Brasil [it's not misspelled. it's just the portuguese way] and I didn't know Cheesecake Factory and PF Chang.

By the way, here in Brasil, PF it's "prato feito". Literaly is "made plate", but is a meal that you have [usual] a portion of rice, bean, a steak [not the way YOU know "steak". it's just a little bit dryed and thinner], and a portion of salada [lettuce and tomato]. It's cheapier than other restaurants like "por kilo", like a self-service.

And I have to agree with you in the lighting issue. The restaurantes I like more are the one with good lighting. Outback Steakhouse is a good example here. It's ALWAYS crowded. Always. Sometimes, we have to wait 2 hours to sit.

And what I liked more in your post is the final sentence: "People ask me why I’d want to be involved in the restaurant business. This is why. It’s surprisingly fascinating."

I think you'll be happier than a bunch people around the World. But all depends the shoes you'll wear... ehehehe.

[Mrs. A]

One of the best restaurants in my city has really crappy lighting. Due to financial reasons I've only eaten there once. But it was one of the best meals I've ever had. But I certainly did notice the crappy lighting.

At another one of the notoriously "best" restaurants here Mr. A and I had one of our worst dining experiences. Everyone we mention this to is surprised. The reason it was lousy for us - the service sucked. And they were out of the bottle of wine we ordered. Minor details? We thought not.

[Robert]

"tax-cheating family restaurant"? Ha ha ha! Tax-cheating! Heaven forbid someone actually keeps the money they earn. Ha ha ha.

And if your wallet is ever stolen, be sure to give the mugger the PIN number of your debit card. Don't want to "cheat" the mugger out of your hard-earned cash.

[Macneil]

In addition to the lights: You must have clean bathrooms with always available soap and paper towels.

[Dale Saran]

Scott -
I read some of yesterday's suggestions, but stopped. So forgive if these are covered, but...
1 - Wanting to put more fannies in the seats means you want those "loyal" customers who will keep coming back and make your restaurant 'their' restaurant, over the Cheesecake factory and other chains. So what you really want is LOYAL customers. So, what kinds of people are loyal - well, we all are to one thing or another, just depends on what it is. Tie your restaurant to things that demand loyalty - like Sports fans. But, given the ambiance, that might not work, but I have two groups that will!
2 - The Military. Get hooked in to a military crowd. Offer "Support the Troops" nights - but not those cheesy come-ons, I mean, have anyone who shows an active duty ID card get 50% off on the manu on whatever your slow night is. Let someone, I mean anyone, who is on active duty know about it. Just a well placed email to a guy you know at a local base. You're close enough to some military bases to benefit. The place will be packed!! I guarantee word will spread - your costs will be an email. Add in some things like Troop Recognition Night - or military spouse's anniversary night - spouse's and kids of deployed soldiers eat for nothing.
3 - You're not far from Santa Cruz. The Headquarters of CrossFit, an internet-based fitness program that is catching on like wildfire. The people involved are more loyal than Red Sox fans. Contact Greg Glassman, the founder, at www.crossfit.com, and see if he would spread the word that your restaurant has Zone-friendly night for CF'ers who wear their T-shirts, or whatever. You both would benefit. I don't speak for the guy, I merely suggest that tapping in to his custmers/users loyalty could really put fannies in the seats.

There you go.

Best of luck.

dale

[Ken H.]

Make use of your minor celebrity status to make your restaurant the place to go for work related functions. The office I work in has less than 200 employees and has special meetings/meals almost weekly.

A buffet style really pulls em in too...

[John]

Dammit Scott, get that "dangling things in pasta" joke OFF Stacy's website!! That's toilet humour- it's OK on this site, but if you need to use it when presenting a restaurant, it'll make me think the restaurant is a toilet.

In fact, don't bother trying to add any humour to the food service industry- if I want "funny eggs" with "humourous ham" I'll check in at the loony asylum.

[Lamark]

Hi Scott,

A lot of the suggestions appear to be suggesting ways to improve the restaurant, from your blog I think you're fairly happy with the restaurant side of the business, so you probably don't want to do anything which would adversley affect it ( hence the wrestling midgets are probably out). With the exception of something like a wedding reception, or a large business lunch, I'm not sure that your style of restaurant really supports a 50 person banquet room. When a group are going out, the organiser generally picks a place where everyone will enjoy something on the menu, but also where the cost of the meal will fit with the poorest members pocket. If 10 or 12 people are going out fine, the organiser will know each of them personally, but with 50 people, that generally leads to a lowest common denominator approach.

I think you need to decide, not on how to fill a banquet room, but on what the best use of that room is. You've already tried many things to fill it as a banqueting room, and it hasn't worked, so what is your competitive advantage that would allow you to make money from that floorspace. I note that a lot of people have said that there was very little dilbet merchandise in the restaurant. Fine - you may not want to degrade the eating experience with lots of Dilbert tack. but why not turn the banquet room into a Dilbert shop, along the Hard Rock Cafe idea, but a bit more geeky. If the banquest room is seperate to the dining area, and especially if it has direct street access this could really work. If this is a bit low brow, you could turn it into a gallery space with signed cartoons for sale, not just from yourself, but from other cartoonists as well. This could serve to generate more trade for your restaurant without damaging its' reputation, but also generate income from the space as well. Properly laid out, this would not stop you from having occassional functions there, and may even encourage additional business in terms of meetings for the area.

[Gwapple]

Why didn't the chickens on a tricycle cross the road to get to Scott's restaurant?

Because they had three wheel(s).

[Scott]

"Indian and Thai restaurants are less familiar and they struggle no matter what they do right. My two favorite restaurants locally (Indian and Thai) are typically 75% empty."

Depends on what you mean by "struggle", and how you judge success. Indian curry has been considered the typical English meal for over a decade, yet Indian restaurants are nearly always 3/4 empty. But they all seem to stay in business.

The thing is, the food is made in a way that involves a standard base sauce, a number of different spices and chicken, prawn, beef etc. This means that there is very little wastage, despite having scores of different items on the menus, and the actual cost of each meal is minimal. (Small lumps of spiced meat don't need to be the finest cuts, and served with a splash of sauce and some rice doesn't exactly cost a fortune. That's why they are the way they are, after all!)

Combined with the fact that they tend to be meals that are combined with a weekend night out and a fair amount of alcohol, on a friday/Saturday night the restaurants will always be full to capacity.

So instead of considering why they seem to be struggling and empty, maybe you should compare them to the full but tiny restaurant with the quality food, and consider how they manage to be profitable and stay open, despite being empty most of the time (again, assuming that American dining culture has some resemblance to British dining culture, which may be erroneous...)

Hope that helps you think of a way to make your banquet/event space profitable! (Do wedding venues cost the same extoritionate rates in the US as they do over here?)

[Mark Bowness]

Great stuff.. bloggers advice on developing your restaraunt, can this be counted as crowdsourcing?

Mark Bowness

[Mark Bowness]

Great stuff.. bloggers advice on developing your restaraunt, can this be counted as crowdsourcing?

[fajensen]

Here in Denmark, restaurants are having success with two things:

A reduced menu with *at the most* 3-4 items of simple dishes made from the ground up with fresh stuff; For example 250 gram Hamburgers made with Real, Quality Meat instead of the usual ground-up carcass mixed with soycake. Part of the menu changes daily - real hamburgers stay, they always sell.

Traditional Food - that Granny used to make (err. would have made if she could actually cook ;-). Old dishes with meat, potatoes, kabbage, fatty sauce, that all we used to eat in the 1950'ies; before all that health & gourmet blather took over. Again those dishes are made from the ground up with fresh raw materials.

The trend is that food should be a simple, but tasty, affair made from fresh raw materials. Not something that you have to plan in advance, hire clothes for and blow the credit card out of the water with.

You don't care to cook dinner today, so you go buy the family what you *would have cooked at home yourself anyway* (at about 3 times the cost, but better) and in the clothes you happen to wear.

[Mudd]

Try offering organised Quiz nights.
A very popular sport in Australia and a great fundraiser event. If you try it from the fundraiser event angle. Some people will manage the event you just provide the venue and finger food or you might provide the whole service with an emcee and everything. The novelty could be appealing.

[Sabine Dinis Blochberger]

Sorry if this thought is late or repeated ;)

Perhaps people don't really like sitting in a packed full place, and when they peek in and see some crowd already, they move on to the restaurant next on their list.

Having said that, maybe you could try making more space between the tables in your big room (if you haven't tried that already).

Here's a whacky idea. Someone could think up a way to make cubicle tables, so that a couple can enjoy some privacy with their meal (no, not in *that* way, just for conversations). Idea being sound isolation from the other guests. If you can make it without looking like a porno shop, it might just be the next big thing.

[Bonocogito]

Givent that restaurants are so fascinating, do you recon there is some truth in the bistromathic drive concept?

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I hate restaurants with poor