One of the great things about being ignorant is that I often think my ideas are original. It’s a wonderful feeling. That’s why I try to avoid any knowledge that would spoil the sensation. Sometimes it isn’t easy. People keep hurling knowledge at me, and I can’t always duck.
For example, people often accuse me of ripping off the great philosopher Spinoza when I write about the universe being God, or when I say people obviously have no free will. I act like I know what they are talking about and quickly change the subject. In reality, I didn’t know Spinoza from Shinola.
Einstein has famously said he believes in Spinoza’s version of God. I always wondered why he invoked Spinoza. It was time to find out about this Spinoza dude. I’m far too lazy to read an entire book, so I went to Wikipedia and read what strangers with no credibility had to say about him.
Holy cow! My opinions match Spinoza’s perfectly. It turns out that being ignorant is almost exactly like being a well-read student of philosophy who can quote from the work of the masters. How lucky is that?
Now I know why Einstein invoked Spinoza when talking about his beliefs. Einstein discovered more than the theory of relativity. He also found a way to act like he believed in God, so all the God-lovers would accept him as their own, while simultaneously saying God is nothing more than semantics, so atheists would embrace him too. And he blamed it all on a dead guy, Spinoza. How many ways does Einstein need to keep proving he’s a genius? I mean seriously, this is just showing off.
I have decided to adopt Einstein’s weasel-genius view of God so everyone thinks I’m on their side. That could come in handy when I run for President. For the record, I believe in Spinoza’s God. Less than one percent of Americans will know what that means. The other 99% will think I believe God is a bearded guy who hands out harps in the afterlife. They will love me for being on their side.
I think Spinoza would be proud to know that his life’s work boiled down to creating a God for weasels.