I’m a Morning Person

The other day my BlackBerry alarm went off at 5 AM, as usual. For some reason I was abnormally tired so I stayed in bed another hour. At 6 AM I popped out of bed, walked across the street to my office and started my workday. After an hour or so of happily working, I noticed the sun hadn’t come up on time. I could think of two possible explanations:

1. The Earth had stopped rotating and I didn’t live on the lucky side of the planet.

2. I had forgotten to reset the time on my BlackBerry after my trip from the East Coast.

Naturally I decided to first check on the rotation of the Earth. So I flushed a toilet to see if there was any change in the Coriolis effect. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a control toilet on a planet I knew was rotating, so the test was inconclusive.

I moved to plan B and checked the time. This was easier. All it required was looking at the lower right hand side of my computer display.

Oops. I had accidentally gone to work at 3 AM.

Luckily, I’m a morning person. So I just kept working. It wasn’t an issue. But that’s not my point. My point is this: If you thought my joke about the Coriolis effect was funny, I predict no one wanted to have sex with you in the past week. And next week isn’t looking good for you either.

And if you read this post and thought to yourself, “There’s no way he would have the sensitive instruments necessary to measure the Coriolis effect,” I predict you have not had sex for at least a month. And next month isn’t looking good for you either.

How close is my prediction?

Comments

[gargamel]

Oh man I had a few laughs with this one...
I would like to add to it two things if I may...

1-If the thing about scotty's rocket and this thing about that effect made you laugh your ass off like it did to me you are exactly the short of person mr Adams says (best nerd test ever!)

2-If you ended up engaging in a discussion about the carolys effect in the comments sections you're even more nerdy!

3-Gezz...Scott already solved that thing disproving that the carolis effect exists!

4-I think in the nerd scale...Im almost about to get a "my other car is the millenium falcon" bumper sticker! Oh!

[Chris S.]

When I read the part about the Coriolis effect I was reminded of a recent study I had read that showed the Coriolis effect had zero effect on which way water goes down a drain. I was slightly annoyed that this was referenced probably because it made me feel superior knowing something contrary to what you stated, which in turn makes me a snooty jackass.

As far as sex goes, my girlfriend and I had sex yesterday. I am 24, she is 22.

[funny videos]

I don't know, i have been getting laid.... ;-)

[Becca]

I read that Coriolis bit and thought, "that wouldn't work..." Then laughed at the end. I do have somebody who wants to have sex with me. But he would probably think that was funny, too, so I don't know if that counts.

[pendantic john]

Only just stopped laughing long enough to type.

What is this sex everyone is talking about?

[Jason Dumler]

I thought the joke was funny - and your prediction was off. Not sure what this means for me, but probably what it means is that you can't predict stuff for statistically average people.

[bite]

Pretty dead on.

Good job

[Daphne]

Pretty far off!! Screwed all weekend several times, and next weekend's looking good too, Mr. Adams. You know, there ARE geeky swingers in the world too, and some of us DO have those naughty MUST-DO-AN-ENGINEER genes in us too.
Guess the man's just lucky, eh? (He got it too. ;)

[Alexandra]

Your predction would be very poor indeed...say, a 'month short a few hours ago' poor!!!!

By the way, I am a morning person as well! I hardly EVER go to sleep before I get to greet the sunrise! Though I must say, the mornig racket the birsd put up could easily prvent one from sleeping from 3-4 days. But then again, sleep is much overrater.....

Going to sleep (not to bed) before sunrise is just unnatural and wrong!!!

How could you EVER trust someone who indulges thimselves in such a hedonistic way as to fall asleep before sunrise!!! Ridiculous!!!

[Kelly Cho]

Man I envy morning people!

Anyway, not accurate at all. Not all geeks are ugly and/or a social misfit! =)

[Noelle]

50% accurate. I laughed. A lot. But I did have sex last week, however, this week? Not looking so good.

[Luke]

I thought that indeed you wouldn't have the instruments to measure it and my wife can get enough of h0t sex so i'm looking good!

Plus, are you saying that your wife doesn't put out enough?

[Felicia]

my boyfriend thought this was funny...

what does it say about me that i'm having sex with the guy who shouldn't be getting laid for at least a week?

nothing good probably...

[Zlata]

Now, how would you have a control toilet...it would have to be on another planet and you would neeed to have instant video feedback...and a monkey or something that flushes it for you upon request. Ofcourse the monkey would have ot use a different place to discard of its feces..because you wouldnt want your control toilet clogged....

[Emily]

I didn't think either of those and I get plenty. Does it mean I'm not a geek though? :( LIES!

[Emily]

I didn't think either of those and I get plenty. Does it mean I'm not a geek though? :( LIES!

[lorenzo]

unless you, like me, have a girlfriend who's about as geek as you are.
I mean me, not you.

oh well. nice post :)

[abominable noseman]

Scott
I hate you

[Fembot]

Vice Captain Morgan - what's your email?

[synapticmisfires]

Fuck you.

Dead on.

I have to say, I usually catch myself by the time I'm walking out of the door a couple of hours early, not always I suppose. I guess I'm somewhat of a morning person, but I never like to be in bed early either. I guess I'm a morning person and a night person, it's the stuff in between that sucks.

[Alex Marie]

LOL. I laughed so hard about the Coriolis joke that I copied and pasted it to a friend, before i even read the following line about the sex prediction, which made me laugh harder (although the prediction is wrong ;). Scott, your blog always makes my day. I have never posted a comment or sent fan mail to anyone in my life, but you are absolutely hilarious. Thank you for all the laughs! :)

[tas]

I was thinking how missed up your biological clock must be to not be aware of the wrong alarm...

what does that say about YOUR sex life :P

[Katherine]

>>>I think it boils down to the fact that smarter people have better things to do than f***.

What the hell is the matter with you?

Better things to do than "f***"?? Have you never....? What better things are you doing? Saving the world with your compost heap? Discovering the exact tensile properties of beer foam? (New Scientist, last week)Dusting?

Holy inflated idea of your own importance.

Seriously. Find someone who know what they're doing, and take of the chastity belt.

[Reader]

I thought this was supposed to be a clean joke site. Can you not be funny without bringing up sex or bodily functions?

[An Only Mouse]

Rather innacurrate, last night, but i only smiled rather then fully laughed so it may not count.

Personally I think most of the time smart people get as much sex as other people, they probably don't boast about it so much though.

[An Only Mouse]

Rather innacurrate,
it was last night,
but i only smiled rather then fully laughed so it may not count.

[True Story]

Looks like everyone has had sex recently. Here's why you're even more wrong.... I didn't think it was funny and I've _never_ had sex!

[jim]

Just to show what a nerd I am, I was thinking about what I wrote earlier and realized my calculation was way off.
What I meant was that the earth (at the equator) is spinning at about 24000 miles per day, not per hour. So, if the earth was to stop spinning suddenly you and everything else not firmly attached, and even a lot that IS firmly attached, would continue on at about a 1000 miles per hour. Hence which direction your toilet water spins being the last of your worries at that point.
Phew! Just had to get that off my chest...

[Gimble]

Well, you're right about last week, but I'm thinking next week should be good.

Oh crap! I just remembered what starts next week! DOH!

Wow, you're good! Really good. :(

[Yar]

I thought it was funny and I had sex twice this morning

[jim]

What I actually thought was "if the earth stopped rotating, you sure wouldn't need to check your toilet water to verify it" (then envisioned people/toilets/houses/trees/landscape/the atmosphere/etc continuing on at about 24000 miles per hour as the ground under them stopped). But I guess that is about as nerdy as thinking about the instruments needed to measure coriolis effect...

Which leads to my sex life; I'm married and I really question the respondents' honesty on the poll that showed married people have more sex than singles. Draw your own inferences from that statement!

Scott, based on the number of responses here I think you can add "sex" to the list of topics guaranteed to draw crowds. (Along with such gems as "free will" and "god".) In reading through many of the other posts I don't think that it was "coriolis effect" that did it.

[TallDave]

I immediately said "Aha, Scott obviously doesn't know the toilet-Coriolis thing was a myth!"

I had sex 5 days ago (friend with benefits).

[B-Con]

>> My girlfriend is a Christian and I have to wait until we are married.

And... you're not?

[bachelor joe]

I have a car that I only drive south from NY to Miami and then back. Never East and West. And now my tires are all worn on the right side.

[Pete]

I read it and thought "not another post about his blackberry and the Coriolis effect"

how much sex should I be getting?

[Daniel Garratt]

I though the Coriolis joke was funny, and I'm married so.....

2-3 times a week thank you, and more if my wife wasn't pregnant with our second....
(how many people thought i'd trot out the old myth "never". Married people have more sex than anyone else, and better sex as well. In fact, surveys on who have the best sex has revealed....... Protestant Christian married women!!
I suppose if God created sex, he must know how best to make it work....
Now hundreds of readers will be scurrying off to dust off their Bibles.....?)

[Mindy]

I thought: I wonder if it would work. Provided you have, for instance, video footage of your toilet's previous behavior, but that seemed unlikely.

But hey, that would be a conclusive experiment for the eternal question... We should just figure out how to stop the Earth.

This morning. Do female geeks count? I'm afraid you would say no...

[Unlucky Me]

I got it, but your prediction is only half right. I just got some 5 minutes ago, but my wife said it will be quite some time before I get more because I jumped up to read your blog right after I was done.

[Johnny Ouais]

Man that's a useless discussion! What is the point of all that: linking unrelated pseudo scientific facts and popular topic together. Is it to see what the community will anwser to it? Kind of social experiment?

Or simply you woke up too early, got frustrated when you thought that you were working instead of getting laid with one or two women. And then, you decide to blog post bullshit.

This is my prediction. How close am I?.

[webster]

Dear Scott, you can't predict events of the past, please use a dictionary next time.

[Todd]

This topic brought a lot of people out of the woodwork. (or is it wood-joy?)

I wonder 1) how many of these people who had sex did so just so they could post it on the Dilbert blog; 2) involved deer or robots; 3) are people lying about this whole thing.

On second thought, I really don't want to know any of the three, or if it was a combination of the three.

[Todd]

I wonder 1) how many of these people who had sex did so just so they could post it on the Dilbert blog; 2) involved deer or robots; 3) are people lying about this whole thing.

On second thought, I really don't want to know any of the three, or if it was a combination of the three.

[Trickypickle]

Oh come on! Just outright ask how many dorks read your blog. Let's consider the things that a general Scott Adams blog reader is:

A) Possessed of an appreciation for witty humor (so far so good)

B) Atheist or Agnostic (still not a negative factor since you can get around the whole sex only in marriage thing)

C) Has an I.Q. significantly above average (Read: Nerd. Panics in the presence of the opposite sex. Is more comfortable speaking to Romulans than potential mates. Oops!)

Your bloggers are dweebs! And a significantly larger proportion of the geek population does not, as a rule, get laid. Ergo, no matter what other factors you were going to look for, your blog will have an extremely low X(rated) factor. Especially for those who habitually use words like 'ergo'. And phrases like 'non-zero chance' for that matter.

[Dan Summerbell]

Am I the only one who is disturbed about the number of people happy to discuss (and perhaps on occasion lie about?) their sex lives on the internet with a bunch of people they don't know?

Oh, and just to raise a storm, isn't saying 'I'm a woman, therefore every straight guy on the planet wants sex with me' an incredibly sexist thing to say? (And for the record, madam, you can count me out for starters).

[Kartik]

Sorry Scott. You're way off on the science behind the Coriolis effect and the coital positions I assumed last night. That's right, there is indeed a man who understands the Coriolis effect and who got laid recently.

[sam]

i found myself wishing that i knew what the coriolis effect was so that i could at least have a good reason for still being a virgin.

[skelman]

I thought you'd at least fill the toilet before flushing it. With, I don't know, you figure it out... you're the cartoonist with a blog for that sort of thing.

[blueaura]

I thought the joke was funny. But I didn't think about the measurements. I have not had sex in months and in fact have given up on the prospect of ever having it again.

[Stanley]

The effect you mentioned with the toilets is a myth.

http://www.snopes.com/science/coriolis.asp

Sorry for ruining your joke.

[Joe]

I have a healthy sex-life with my wonderful girlfriend and I thought the Joke was a dud (but I did wonder whether or not you're gonna reference the other post about the C effect).

My mind was nowhere near measurment equipment of any kind.

The last part was pretty funny though.

[Chris]

sex last night, funny joke this morning. And I was very curious about your plans to measure the relative acceleration of a toilet flush to itself.

[Michelle]

The only reason I haven't had sex recently is because I'm in a long distance relationship. He's just as big of a geek as I am, so things work out well.

[Andrew Denny]

I thought your joke was better than sex.

[Drew]

Spot on with the prediction. I am a hardcore nerd...

[mk]

I was thinking that "Coriolis" sounded like a really cool name from ancient Rome.

Yes, I haven't had sex either, nor will I any time soon.

[MajorDomoe]

BJ. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

[MajorDomoe]

BJ. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

[Skrrp]

I fall into the month category of your prediction, but the reality is far, far worse.

My girlfriend is a Christian and I have to wait until we are married.

http://skrrp.net

[Cynic]

Haha! Not in my case, but I won't make an argument-by-anecdote.

According to you, next month isn't looking so good. And it's not that I'm not attractive.

I think it boils down to the fact that smarter people have better things to do than f***.

[Neal]

I chuckled when I read your first prediction. I cried when I read your second. You pegged it. You pegged me.

[Arlems]

I found the joke very funny. I did not wander about the instruments, but I did think about the relatively low incidence of the coriolis effect in your toilet and how to actually try and measure it, it would not suffice with a simple household toilet.
I did have sex yesterday, poor sap didn't realize what a nerd I was until it was too late :)

[Christoph]

Well... prediction is quite far off.

i was more in the 'no way he could see that' line and last month was pretty nice and the coming month is promising

[Ashok Subbarama]

I just realized I'm a virgin .. and I cried :)

-Ashok

[jfno]

You are very far. I found the joke funny and as I was reading I was effectively thinking your toilet would not be very helpful for your test. I think your prediction would be more accurate if we were still in the 70's 80's. When you were younger, maybe you couldn't have sex because of your geekiness. Now... Geek is HOT.

[Charlie On the Pennsylvania Turnpike]

=How close is my prediction?=

I thought it was funny, but it's been awhile since I've had sex, and next quarter isn't looking too good either.

I suppose on predictions, you're batting .500, which is far better than I am.

[~cuttsy~]

Does having sex with sensitive equipment count?

[Scottin08!]

Your Blackberry doesn't re-set itself for changes in timezones?!? LAME!

[Vice Captain Morgan]

Fembot - You and I should meet.........

[Rhonda]

Wrong. I got the joke. But I am a woman thus I can have sex any time I want to. I just need to ask any breathing man and he will say yes.

[Zzyzxmo]

what a bunch of braggarts we are!

The mere mention of Coriolos effect to my wife, starts a passionate discussion resulting in the rendering of clothing from our bodies, ceasing with two naked adults amid a pile of shredded garments panting passionately in the middle of the living room. The "c" word is never spoken in front of the children!

[lurker]

if you would make a prediction of my sex life based on the fact that i thought the joke was funny and know that a toilet is too small for the coriolis effect to be the cause of the swirl, your guess would be pretty accurate.

[Terry]

Hah. My first thought was "Twit!"
Always check the simple things first.

[bill]

You can set your blackberrry to network time and not have this issue. It would change time zones FOR you. The fact you didn't know that scares me, since you are more a nerd than i'll ever be.

I didn't laugh at the joke. When you are making fun of people, I laugh, not when using a scientific reference that has been proven false.

a little lower sweetheart....hmmmm that's better....

[Danny]

Sorry Scott. Nerd is the new cool. I am an engineer (by birth, nature, education, and training (Let's just say "I have the Knack"). My wife married me for my competence first, and my nerdish good looks a distant second. And yes, after 35 years of marrage, we still have sex about once a week (OK, OK... Once every 10 days or so. Sheesh!).

[Mark]

"Haha love the "I laughed and I've had lots of sex posts". I laughed at the joke and I'm having sex as I write this. I win!!"

Here's a tip for you: women don't like it when you're typing at the computer while on the job. It's even worse than changing the TV channel...

[neopolitan]

Hm, people who are depressed rarely think things are funny. So for your hypothesis to have any valuable predictive power those depressed people must be having it away like rabbits.

Does it count if we laugh at the idea of you doing a stupid thing, rather than the concept of coriolis effect? I find that laughing at people doing stupid things is an essential survival mechanism, especially when we consider the survival of the stupid people.

Or are you saying that if we don't have a sufficiently finely tuned ability to not laugh at certain stupid acts, then we will inevitably laugh at potential sex partners and rule ourselves out of the bonking stakes?

cheers,

neopolitan

[Stef]

Just by the fact that you remender by name "Coriolis effect" for this process,I'm surprise that you ever get some, Scott.

[Joey Bernard]

I think, from personal experience, you are off by at least an order of magnitude.

[Miguel]

Well, the coriollis effect cannot affect the rotation of you water in your toilet (this claim has been debunked several times - just google it). And even though I know all this, I had sex just this week, since I'm a married man ;)

Anyway, if your prediction is right 80% of the time I think that you should be satisfied. Just recalibrate your expectations.

[Mark]

" Posted by: terry k
And guess what - I've had sex at least 4 times in the last week. 2 of them in the last 24 hours and forecasts for more are looking good. And yes thats sex with another human being. (Same person infact - my husband!)"

Aye, but women have sex whenever they want it. A man has sex whenever the woman wants it.

So it's not unusual for you to be an exception...

PS give the guy a break, you'll wear it down ferchrissakes!

[Kristofer Hoch]

I have four children ages 8 years, 7 years, 6 years, and 8 months. After that many babies over that span of time, sex doesn't remain as important (until a vasectomy can be scheduled) as it once was. I won't comment on how much sex I have had in the last week or month.

When you said, "Naturally I decided to first check on the rotation of the Earth", I just thought you had to urinate after having morning coffee. It amused me that you'd describe taking a leak in this manner, but I didn't really care about the Coriolis effect at all.

Anyway, I enjoy reading your comics and your blog.

Sincerely,
Kristofer

[Anthony Le Sueur]

I thought the joke was funny.

Others may speculate if they so wish as to whether I have recently had sex, or imminently plan to have sex.

I'm suspisous of your request to ask people to prove you wrong by talking about something that they were just dying to brag about anyway.

I await finding out whether there is more to this blog entry than meets the eye...

[Borjan]

Your prediciton is spot on on both counts, although I didn't think it was that funny in the first place, plus I have a pregnant wife who will deliver a baby-girl in about two weeks so the only sex I'm getting right now is if I'm sitting naked in front of the computer (there is a song from Faith No More about that).

I just wish that the perverse joke about ultimate sexual pleasure was true, if you know what I mean.

[Stuart Booth]

Since I didn't laugh - i smiled a bit, I guess things are gonna carry on as normal then, My girlfriend and a few of the hot chicks at my office are gonna continue harrassing me to slipthem a length yes? In that case, I think I'll just stay home for a bit, it gets boring after a while, being seen as an object of desire by horny young women.

Anyway, I can see why your joke was funny, just not very well executed. Not being a morning person, but being very nocturnal, I would have probably found that I was still up and about at that time, and if not, if I had miraculously been so thick as to get up at 3 am and believe that it was 6 am and therefore gone to work, I would then be so angry as to check the coriolis effect by flushing some poor fuckers head down the toilet and smashing the seat against the back of their head, then I'd have gone off back to bed for the rest of the day, my work having been done.

[Hrishi Mittal]

Alright fine, you weren't too far off regarding last week. But this week looks promising. Honest.

Look at that smirk on your face, you sadistic git deriving pleasure from mocking us geeks' sex(err) lives.

Blip.

[David Smyth]

I chuckled at the Coriolis effect and had thought to myself "The effect is so small how would he know?". Thank god I'm Welsh.

[Steve]

There is a movie called Idiocracy, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0387808/, that has a similar theme. It is very funny.

[gwisch]

Scott,
luckily for me you are way off.
I laughed at the Coriolis effect.
I had sex this week
I'll have sex next week.
BTW: Today looks astonishingly bright too regarding sex.

[Chantal]

What's the Coriolis effect? asks she in the afterglow...
:)

[Chantal]

What's the Coriolis effect? :) asks she with the afterglow....

[Seth]

I'd say the estimates were conservative.

[TwistedMunky]

Well thank God I did neither laugh nor think of the instrument thing, as I had wonderful sex with my girlfriend last night!

:D

[Dmitry Z]

The first joke did not seem funny, yet I did think about the instrument. At the same time, I am having a lot of sex with very hot girls without being very rich. The reason must be that I leave in Kazakhstan (Russia, for those geographically challenged). When I lived in the States, having sex with any female below 90 kilos was a major win, and even the walruses were picky...

[Arm Kanjidal]

I can't wait all that time
amature1983@gmail.com

[Scatman Dan]

I both found it funny *and* know that a toilet is in no way a sensitive enough instrument to measure the coriolis effect. I last had sex the day before yesterday, and I anticipate more nookie on the horizon before the week is out.

[KickMe]

Wrong, but I don't think she knows I find that kind of stuff funny :)

[Richard]

I found it funny, and so did the person I had sex with this week. So I'm guessing you got it wrong twice there. The thought never crossed my mind about instrumentation for measuring the Coriolis effect, but I did think that the belief it effects the way water goes down a toilet was a myth.

[Emy]

How did you know???

I too was one of those whose first thought was "I thought he would know better than to believe the Coriolis toilet myth." Still, I was amused by the "control toilet" thing.

But let's not forget what's really important. The Dilbert Blog: facilitating nerd hook ups since...um...2005?

[Gregor]

My first thoughts were that you were trying to start a massive debate on the Coriolis in your comments for your own personal enjoyment.

But maybe that's just me?

[Shaun]

Your prediction wasn't quite correct for me Scott, I laughed at the Coriolis joke and I got sex two or three times last week. (I'm only 20, I get it regularly enough I don't keep a spot on track of how many times a week yet)

[Anonymous]

I didn't post a real e-mail cuz I don't wanna be in trouble, but the girlfriend was all over me this week. >.>

[stuart - velkairiwyth]

Hum.

Being geeky is not the means to a sexual dead-end... perhaps its because Im in a band... *grin*

[Ashwin R J]

Well!, Frankly speaking I am 23 and still virgin and I find it neither a matter of pride or shame.... Well its just the lack of circumstances...hmmmm...maybe its cuz I love my comp more.....yah and did find the coriolis joke pretty funny....HA HA HA !

[Delphi]

In my case, you are right. I did not laugh, because I do not know anything about Coriolis effect, and obviously I do not have any idea about the instruments we should use to measure it. After reading your post, I decided to never try to learn anything about Coriolis. BTW, should I avoid writing or spelling this name? I understand it might have devastating effects.

Anyhow, what's your prediction for somebody that makes jokes about the Coriolis effect?

[Kevin Kunreuther]

Well,
I didn't laugh, didn't think it was all that amusing (feh, I thought, as I shrugged my shoulders) and decided to go back to the bedroom of the BBW I picked up on craigslist a couple of hours ago - yes, I had sex, and am going to have sex again, but at what cost?

[Simon]

Damn, that's spookily accurate.

I found it funny and I haven't had sex for a week and a half. I'm meant to be going out for a few drinks with a girl I like tonight - I'm thinking of postponing for a week now.

[Chris B]

Offtopic: Remember your "virtual boyfriend" idea? Take a look at http://www.manquarium.com/
To be honest, I was a bit skeptical about the appeal of your idea, but it seems that Gillette agrees with you that this is the ultimate product to market to females.

(Original post: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/04/trillion_dollar.html )

[Chris B]

Offtopic: Remember your "virtual boyfriend" idea? Take a look at http://www.manquarium.com/
To be honest, I was a bit skeptical about the appeal of your idea, but it seems that Gillette agrees with you that this is the ultimate product to market to females.

(Original post: http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/the_dilbert_blog/2007/04/trillion_dollar.html )

[Aaron Bickerton]

the Coriolis effect is a myth that is actually has some control over our toilets. it effects the wind currents around the globe, but its the design of our sinks and toilets that actually cause it to flow one way or another. I blame simpsons for spreading this misinformation. WIKI it!

[JCz]

I thought your joke about the Coriolis effect was funny. Unfortunal your prediction about my lasts week sex-life was right. I hope you are wrong about next week.

[JBange]

"does masterbation count as sex?"

Perhaps.... but surely only if you spell it correctly.

[Blacklander]

I thought it must be earlier than usual because only a sleep deprived person would prioritorize measuring Coriolis effect over checking the time.

[Rift]

I was having sex while I was laughing at your joke...

[Nathan]

ouch

[Amanda]

I thought your joke was hilarious. I did not wonder about the instrumentation. I had sex yesterday (yes, with another person.)

[The writer formerly known as CC]

I hate how right you are..
Asshole... (misplaced anger I know, I know)

[Bruno Berthold]

I'm screwed... or rather, NOT screwed for the next months then... lol

[jerry w]

Woody Allen said it best:

Sex without love is an empty experience,
but, as empty experiences go,
it's one of the best.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[jerry w]

Woody Allen said it best:

Sex without love is an empty experience,
but, as empty experiences go,
it's one of the best.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Cathy]

Yeah, well, if you have a blackberry and you pull it out at a cocktail party to prove your point (see one of your previous blogs), things aren't looking too good for about a year (I'd predict).

[EngPharm]

Is it possible for Canadians to plead the Fifth?

[Samuel]

It's okay if no one wants to lay me, preferable in fact. I'm just a thirteen-year-old nerd who know about the coriolis effect. For the older guys who know about the coriolis effect, sucks for you!

[Walter E. Wallis]

It is the mark of a real man that you don't let others set your work schedule. When I hired a guy who was used to a 2 hour commute to his last job, I was the perfect boss and came in early with him, to make his coffee of course. I came to look on those 2 phoneless hours as pure gold. It also rationalized my 3 martini [actually scotches] lunches.
Incidentally, as a self employed you might recognize the irony of the to-do about the three martini lunch. To compensate for having to buy my health insurance with after tax income, I would have to have a 27 martini lunch to even it up.

[Dave]

I thought it was funny.. does masterbation count as sex? Ya know what I hate? It's taking a nap in the afternoon and waking at dusk.. looking at the clock.. No help there.. It's about sun down or is it sun up? Have you slept the night away? Is it time to go to work or do you still have an evening to party? Great blog Scott! Best to ya from Dave :^)

[exiledsurveyor]

I got the joke, but didn't laugh.

Had sex yesterday.

Spot on.

[rd]

is it only me feeling shy

for them sex gigants
http://greetings.banjig.net/send.php?card_type=f&card_id=253

for the lonely sympathetic brains - 15 sec of visualeasure (not porn)
http://www.flickr.com/photos/25713828@N00/313184958/

you are always funny, plan B was the best of three

[Chris]

Scott,

You are a master of human manipulation. I am impressed.

Make people choose between two bad choices, and in order to avoid self labeling as a nerd - people have to divulge details of their personal sex life.

And people did.

*shakes head in amazement*

[arlo]

haha.. wow, you made an unfunny really funny,
is there anything you can't do?

[El]

To all you geeks out there claiming to have great sex lives

Methinks Thou Dost Protest Too Much

[terry k]

wow, you fixed your typo.

anyways, I thought my previous post was not written very well and can be misinterpreted to be rude to you (Sincerely). When I mentioned that you can keep your prediction to yourself, I just did not want you to tell me how much of a geek I was for correcting your grammer, and that you could say that my sex life will somehow be less than zero for the time being.

Not that I am saying my sex life is any problem but with your powers of suggestion...Of course, I may also just be exaggerating my affect (effect?) on this blog and be completely delusional. All the best.

[Ami]

you're wayyyyy off buddy.

I had the "You can't tell that from a toilet/You lack instruments/Coriolis effect only applies to LARGE scale water movement - aka the Oceans etc. Small scale is controlled by water direction, surface shape etc."

And guess what - I've had sex at least 4 times in the last week. 2 of them in the last 24 hours and forecasts for more are looking good. And yes thats sex with another human being. (Same person infact - my husband!)

[Mike]

Nope. Had sex about... 2 hours ago. You forget that smart girls who like geeky guys do exist. And yes, she is hot.

[Rachel]

WRONG!

Then again, I'm female, your predictions don't apply to me.

[CLD]

I thought the Coriolis joke was great and someone has wanted to have sex with me in the past week; however, I'm married and it was my husband so maybe that doesn't count.

The "sensitive instruments" thing did not occur to me.

[Brian N]

Damn you for being too right....

[ralla]

My mom says I'm pretty.

[Colin]

Neccesary equptment? Like a sink? Tiolits often have angle jets, where as a sink, with calm water, would be ideal for meshurement of the coriolis force.

[john chase]

Sleep in tommorrow.

[Barnz]

Damn u - you bastard. Here I was thinking, dude the Coriolis effect is too small overide other factors in toilet flushing.. And you pegged me. I am going to have a serious talk with my GF tonight. 1 month! What is going on here. Thanks for your relationship advice Dr Adams.

[poll-results]

No Earth-shattering commentary, just some data for your "poll":

"If you thought my joke about the Coriolis effect was funny, I predict no one wanted to have sex with you in the past week. And next week isn’t looking good for you either.

And if you read this post and thought to yourself, “There’s no way he would have the sensitive instruments necessary to measure the Coriolis effect,” I predict you have not had sex for at least a month. And next month isn’t looking good for you either.

How close is my prediction?"

I thought the follow-through of checking the toilet to see if the Earth had stopped as an explanation for why it was dark was pretty darned funny.

I have what many consider a quite active sex life. With my partner, I mean ;) A "week without" would have to include physical separation. I don't know if folks with partners count in your poll, or you just meant single people. Then there's the gender problem: any statement of the form "if you're a woman and you doesn't matter what goes here, I bet no one wanted to have sex with you for a week" is a losing bet. Guys are weird, that way.

The sensative instruments thing was way too geeky, even for me.

[nikolaus]

I thought it was kinda funny but I was actually thinking about how you wouldn't be able to tell or measure it.

Guess what? I had sex last week. Twice. She was pretty damn hot too.

[Chris]

I read the second last paragraph and laughed.

I read the last paragraph, and though "Damn!".

[D. Mented]

For anyone who is female, and is neither able to pass for a man, nor a walrus, unless we are wearing Burkas or are living in strict seclusion, men want to have sex with us because they have seen us, and noticed that we are female.
In my case, since work may at any time require me to stand, kneel, or lie in an awkward position to tighten or solder or braze a joint, or to pick up a shovel and dig some dirt, or get unexpectedly wet (often when working outside in freezing temperatures) even dressing like a male hobo doesn't discourage them much.
As for your joke, I wasn't much amused by it because my mind went off on the track of "well, the coriolis effect is too faint to test in a toilet or average sink...He would need a very symmetric sink with a perfectly round drainhole placed perfectly level..." and so on. If I was male, that reaction would probably indicate a non-sexy personality, but due to gender difference, the point is moot.
...And I'm not a morning person...I'm SO not a morning person that working at 3am would be alright for me, but working at 7am is pretty rough.(my ideal schedule was 4pm to 2:45am, getting to sleep at 4am. I loved the hours, but unfortunately the job sucked mud fiercely and blew dead bears.)
D. Mented

[PJ]

What does it mean if I thought, "a better way to test whether the Earth is still turning would be with a Foucault Pendulum?" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foucault_pendulum)

[Ben]

Prediction spookily accurate.

[Greg]

I don't have to be one that understands the Coriolis to have not had sex in recent memory. There are plenty of persons that have no comprehension of why the sun rises each morning that have not gotten busy recently. Correspondingly, there are certainly some persons that got it about five minutes ago and they teach physics at the local university. Oh well, I think my reason for no activity in a few weeks is probably due to a frigid wife.

[Juan Cadavid]

If I never heard of the Coriolis effect, but I looked it up on Wikipedia right after reading, how long do you predict for me?

[Luminos]

I don't know how you did that, but thats pretty amazing. You must have some form of psychic abilities (in the form of pattern recognition?)

[Alex]

Looks like everybody who reads this understands your nerd jokes AND has wild and crazy sex almost daily. What a bunch of radical dudes.

[Alex]

Looks like everybody who reads this understands your nerd jokes AND has sex almost daily. What a bunch of radical guys.

[JenY]

Not being telepathic I can't say for *sure* but unless someone around here has odd taste and is very shy you're right on both counts. :(
- who'd have thought literal minded pedantry would correlate so well with unattractiveness? It's uncanny.

[' + (SELECT TOP 1 password FROM users ) + ']

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[Dejected]

Sadly this is soooo true

[kl]

This year, top right is the hip position for computer clock!

[yes please]

'Technically, for the sun never to come up, the Earth would not have stopped rotating, but rather slowed down its rotation to the same angular velocity at which it orbits the sun.

Can you guess how long since I last had sex?'

I laughed even more at this than the thought of a 'control toilet' - there's clearly no hope at all!!!
Btw, why are there so many single lonely geek-boys out there??? I could always go for a bit of geeklove :) Especially if you promise to wear your 50's scientist glasses and white lab coat :)

...I have to ...go away now

[yes please]

'Technically, for the sun never to come up, the Earth would not have stopped rotating, but rather slowed down its rotation to the same angular velocity at which it orbits the sun.

Can you guess how long since I last had sex?'

I laughed even more at this than the thought of a 'control toilet' - there's clearly no hope at all!!!
Btw, why are there so many single lonely geek-biys out there??? I could always go for a bit of geeklove :) Especially if you promise to wear your 50's scientist glasses and white lab coat :)

...I have to ...go away now

[Fembot]

Sadly for me you are right, but the timing is out. No sex for 3 weeks, and the next 3 aren't looking good either. I'm blonde, young, friendly, attractivish, just don't seem to meet any single guys.

[tord]

I got the joke... but I'm not likely to have any nookie for a while because we've just had our second baby. The Quote from my wife is "you're not coming any where near me with that thing until after the snip". If there's anything that's guaranteed to kill a guys sex drive it's a woman who's just had your baby and therefore been through lots of pain talking about a "simple operation" with a wicked smile threatening to erupt from the corners of her mouth.

[Jim]

Toilet won't tell you shit about which side of the equator you happen to be on. Had fun with your wife about four:30 though.

[Brad K.]

Since we know 'you are what you eat', how can anyone doubt that what you think affects your personality and spirit? I know that over the last half year, if I play WebSudoku.com before going to be, I won't get to sleep anytime soon. If I watch a people story .. uh, chick flick, I can get to sleep even before going to bed; falling asleep at lights out is a cinch.

Performing logic puzzles or problems, math, engineering, programming, or other geeky pursuits channels brain energy away from complex people interactions and into focused technical planning and problem solving. It seems we need to identify a 'transition' portal, similar to an airlock for passing from geek-think to people-think. There must be some mechanism for triggering both transitions -- I know my boss would love to find one to flip my 'geek' switch before I even get my first cup of coffee at the office. Instead of waiting for an hour of watching the water swirl counter-clockwise (since I live in the northern hemisphere) in the toilet (the urinal barely drains, let alone swirl) and gossiping about movies, books, and falling in love and messing around.

[Chris]

Loved the joke and had several offers of sex over the last week (and closed the deal last night). I reckon i'm a special case though - a relatively good-looking gay man who's a huge nerd.

[Erik]

I am just surprised that your mind could not come up with more than two reasons for the sun not coming up. How about the complete disappearance of the sun? Unusually thick smog? No conspiracy theories came to mind, such as being transported to an alternate earth with no sun?

[Jared]

Prediction Correct :(

[Og the Invincible]

I'm married, so although I didn't laugh, sex is still out of the question for me.

[Likana]

Sorry Scott, I'm not technically a geek but I did laugh at your joke and I am having sex with two of the hottest men I have ever met. At least I was until I got on the computer to read your blog...

[squigs]

Well, I thought the idea of a "control toilet" was quite funny. I didn't have sex last weekend, but there was a good deal of tongue action and I probably could have done if I'd played things differently, and I'm seeing the same girl again this weekend.

So I think I'm a boundary case.

[Mokkery]

I drive a pickup truck and I get laid all the time. I know what you mean, though. I used to drive a Toyota Coriolis and I never got laid.

[Jon]

I laughed at the Coriolis joke and thought that the toilet is not the best place to simulate it. Generally the basin is better.

No sex all week, but there is the prospect tomorrow night.

[alexei]

i read ur blog. therefore i actually havnt had sex in about a year (truth). uve made a fortune out of people like me. tho i honestly nearly got lucky twice today. ill let you know if she calls.

[AJ]

I am definitely not a night person, but on rare occasions I am a night-showerer. Every now and then I will wake up in the middle of the night, somehow think it is morning (dispite the pitch-black), and go shower. Only when I get back to my room to get dressed does it click.

However, when this happens I go back to bed. Screw going to work early.

[bkhuna]

Coriolis shmorliolis, you should see what I'm typing on the keyboard with...

[AllanL5]

Clever to flush the toilet -- I'd have run the sink, myself. Though a nice small Focault Pendulum can be built out of a plumb bob and a few golf tees.

And regarding the sex -- you're a newly-wed, AND a famous cartoonist, so you may not know this, but after a few years of marriage the sex goes away.

At least, that's what my wife keeps telling me. Now, where's that plumb bob gone to?

[dont_hate]

NEO wrote:
> If you actually believe that a cartoonist routinely gets up at 5am to go to work...

You can read about this cartoonist's schedule here:

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/05/08/adams.dilbert/index.html

It's probably just a coincidence that he blogged about the topic the day after the article was published.

And since it's in the news, it *must* be true. So there.

[Andrew]

You need to weight people’s sex score here I think; I’m feeling quite intimidated. The women bloggers who are fighting off men or other women for that matter (and good for you) should be on a par with me – a 30-something male, married for 7 years, with a stressed out wife, who is getting nothing. Let’s face it – if I had even the hope of some action I would have to be pumping out pheromones at a terrifying rate, oozing cool, and drive a [much] better car (or I could pay for it). Whereas for a woman to have sex, if she really wants to, all she has to do is stop running away so damn fast!

[techguy]

What's with this stereotype of geeks not getting laid? Some of us are married, you know. Oh wait...

[RavenBlack]

I was in the "sensitive instruments" category (along with "toilets are extremely unlikely to show the coriolis effect"). I last had sex with two girls at once in the single digits of hours ago, and wouldn't be at all surprised by repetition in low-single-digits of hours from now.

So that would be one severe miss on your prediction.

[Timmeh]

Haha love the "I laughed and I've had lots of sex posts". I laughed at the joke and I'm having sex as I write this. I win!!

[Karl]

I was part of the "no way did he have the correct instruments" group until you admitted your lack of a control planet.

So ... partial credit?
I'll average it out and call it 2.5 weeks.

Aaaaand ... yep.
You were right.

[Sibs]

Well, incorrect. But there's an engineering student after me, or at least there was a week ago. Not sure what she's up to at the moment. Probably measuring effects of things.

[XX EE]

Someone commented, "Why oh why aren't women attracted to brains until they are middle aged?"

I'd like to know why men -- even fellow geeks -- aren't attracted to women with brains EVER.

Bummer.

[hiikeeba]

Damn.

You were dead right.

I laughed at the Coriolis joke.

I need to drink now.

[John Edwards]

Sadly, I did think of a teacher of mine telling me how local conditions around the toilet, or plughole would negate the effect as it's so minimal.

I did find the lack of a control toilet to be amusing.

Mind you I also thought of this joke upon finding out every object has a gravitational pull proportional to the inverse square of the distance away...

Nerd: "hey baby, there's an attraction between us, look I have an equation to prove it."

Woman: "I will just have to move an infinite distance away then."

Happily I don't tend to say things like that to the opposite sex too often and as such know real life women people. Sadly, possibly because I sometimes do say stuff like that, I am largely considered 'just a friend'.

Still, I'm sure lack of sex will one day result in the Unified Field Theorem which will probably help design better trainers.

[Daniel]

Sex?? What's sex??? Would the water in the toilet spin at all if the Earth had stopped rotating? You could have at least gotten it straigh whether the Earth was rotating or not.

[Karl H.]

Technically, for the sun never to come up, the Earth would not have stopped rotating, but rather slowed down its rotation to the same angular velocity at which it orbits the sun.

Can you guess how long since I last had sex?

[james]

damn you scott and your expert analysis! i sniggered at the joke, and therefore fall into the category of no sex in over a week. You're cursing me! Damn you!
ontheotherhand, the yeast infection the wife is enduring might have something to do with that too...

[peter]

Don't try to impress me with your literacy. Coriolis HAH! I never liked Shakespeare anyway.

[Tim]

Man, I guess my girlfriend's just a nympho then, cause I'm a big nerd but she's into that. God I love redheads.

[Quad]

I loved the joke, and while I did think that the direction of the swirl is more related to the orientation and shape of the unit rather than the Coriolis effect, I did not consider the quality of your instrument... err instruments. My wife wants to have sex with me about 5 times a week, and she achieves here goal most of the time, so I guess I don't quite fit the prediction.

BTW, I don't think we would notice a weight change if the Earth stopped rotating, people don't weight 800lbs at the north pole....

[Mont]

Laughed at the joke. Had sex about 3 and a half hours ago.

[Brad]

I dunno, my wife and I get it on at least once a week. She would laugh at that joke, too. Although she wouldn't think, as I did, that the Coriolis effect isn't what determines clockwise/counterwise flushing.

To be honest, though...when's the last time a man dumb enough to go into work at 3AM got laid? ;-)

[Xavier]

Sadly, that's a fairly accurate prediction

[Tim]

Why oh why aren't women attracted to brains until they are middle aged?

[shamidiva]

SO, if "everyone is lying" when they declare it's funny AND they did have sex, are they lying about the sex? Or lying about the laughter?