A Politician Who "Gets it"

Just when I was losing all faith in our elected leaders, a little ray of sunshine caught my attention. Florida Representative Bob Allen was arrested for allegedly offering one of his constituents $20 and a blow job. Unfortunately for Bob, that constituent happened to be an undercover cop in a public restroom, so Bob got arrested.

http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070711/CAPITOLNEWS/70711023

My initial reaction to this story was BEST…ELECTED OFFICIAL…EVER. Generally, after we elect a politician, he takes our money and gives it to people we don’t even like. Bob Allen got it right. He’s willing to give his voters $20 apiece and service them orally. He cares.

Some of you might not want to accept the non-cash component of Bob’s offer. But still, you have to appreciate his attitude. They say all politics is local, and Bob takes it to the next level, i.e. inside your pants. I think I found my new preferred candidate for president.

I can imagine Bob Allen negotiating with Korean leader Kim Jung Il:

Bob: Would you stop building nuclear bombs, please?

Kim: What’s in it for me?

Bob: Well, for starters, this twenty-dollar bill…

Comments

[jeremy]

"We're not afraid to get on our knees, and show them just what makes America great."

[Steveo]

Complaining that a politician is a hypocrite is like complaining that a prostitute is a slut.

[neil]

I think Allen should just keep "chugging along" in his bid to assist the dems. lol. Are we sure he isn't a stealth candidate?

[The Babar]

This might already have been covered but it just cracks me up

"Allen, is a former Little League volunteer who also donated time to the Boys and Girls Club, serving on its board of directors"

Word.

[Lily]

Great idea but whats in it for girls, let say he is negotiating with A. Merker?
:)

[DWH]

So ends the CIA's experimental program,"Blowjobs for Peace."

[Jeff Meyerson]

OK, looks like you were right. Rep. Bob did offer to blow the cop. But he seems to have wanted twenty bucks for it rather than offering the twenty as a bonus.

Still, this guy makes me Hypocrites Hall of Fame, along with David Vitter.

Man, the place is full of politicians.

[car free since '93]

I swear, there is nothing in this world as funny as men!
I especially like the ones who think someone wants to see a photograph of their penis! Hahahahahaha! This has got to be proof of no free will. Who would act this way if they could help it?

CFS '93

[Matt]

Here in MN, our politicians use the good book to get their message across - across the backside of anyone who gets in their way.

http://www.startribune.com/587/story/1300201.html

[rd]

made in korea? never knew
http://www.atimes.com/atimes/Korea/IC14Dg03.html

[Kevin Fairchild]

Saw this in the paper the other day. Absolutely astonishing.

But, yeah... I'd totally vote for him. haha

--Kevin Fairchild

[D. Mented]

I second the motion of regular competitions to interpret politicians' statements as sexual innuendo.
...And can we at least have the list of the month?
D. Mented

[D. Mented]

Hmm...I might be able to get behind this politician...
As long as he doesn't try to get behind me.
D. Mented

[Will]

Scott is right: Allen offered to *give* the cop $20 and a blow job; he didn't ask for either of those things.

This article makes it clearer:
http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Local/2007/7/13/rep.aspx

"Titusville police said Allen offered an undercover male officer $20 and asked if he could perform a sex act on that officer."

If you think about, this is the only version that makes sense. (Think about it: Allen approached the cop for sex, not the other way around, regardless of who was supposed to be on the "receiving end".)

Here's another great article:
http://www.cfnews13.com/News/Local/2007/7/12/allen_cosponsored_public_lewdness_bill.html
"The Clerk’s office for the Florida House of Representatives confirmed to News 13 that Rep. Bob Allen was a cosponsor of a bill increasing penalties for public “Lewdness and Indecent Exposure.”

According to legislative documents, the bill would have made it second degree felonies for public exposure and “unnatural and lascivious” acts with another person within 1,000 feet of public parks, as well as other public locations such as schools, child care centers, public beaches and community centers. It also would have made it easier for police to arrest someone for these crimes."

Scott, is it okay for us to hate this guy for being a hypocrite, or is that just as "stupid" as hating on "flip-floppers"? (I'm sure you would just say the guy's being pragmatic; he obviously can't tell the world he *supports* public lewdness)

[jake]

$20 and a bj, given or received, is the best offer I've ever gotten from any politician. Ever. I think this qualifies as "health care".

[wkwillis]

Sounds like the best Republican Presidential candidate so far. Are they passing around petitions yet? Does he have a campaign fund?

[Sam D]

Politicians are supposed to be good orators.

[KageBunshin]

Can't beleive it! Hence forth he shall be christened "Bob All en give 'em 20" :). Heres one guy who misunderstood his gym trainer..." Drop down and Give me 20 son" :)

"Neal and Bob" :) good one Alan.

Yeah! legalize prostituion! Impeach Bush! Withdraw from Iraq! Heed the public! Be more transparent!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Thanks for the laugh, Scott & commenters. Of course, from the article it reads as if Rep. Bob offered the cop $20 to blow him but your way is so much better...and funnier.

[K-Witt]

Damn it...I was gonna make the joke that the title should be "gives it", but it looks like a couple others beat me...

[David]

Since enough people complained about who got the $20 I'll just say this post sounds like you more than the rest for some reason.

[Robert Hamilton]

Scott, I guess you're confirming that you're bi-sexual. I'm not making any judgements, I just didn't know. That's OK, no really. It would be funny to see how you introduce that concept in Dilbert. So..a new employee is starting who is...? and Alice/Carol? is attracted/repulsed to him/her, but then so is Wally. OK, I have no idea how to make it end funny.

[Rem]

I read all these comments and I'm afraid something struck me as illogical. Why would a state representative need 20$ anyway? I'd reather believe that he would want to blow job someone and would pay this man so he offers himself. What we may not know is that he might have proposed the 20$ so the guy would shut his mouth about it (unlucky dude to get a cop, must hav had a good childhood). I mean this guy must have a decent salary and everything: he ran a campaing and has children! I'm not arguing about the wording of the article, just that it would not make sense for a state representative to prostitue himself!

And I agree...what was that cop doing in the toilets anyway?

[gr8hands]

Scott,

Completely off topic, but thought you might find this interesting:

http://www.gemueseorchester.org/

The Vienna Vegetable Orchestra. In particular, watch the video.

[DanW]

One thing missing from the article. How many $20 bills did they find on him when he was arrested? He had been seen going into the restroom several times after all.

Why are dems jumping on this? After BJ Bill, I thought they believed what a man did in his private life should not be judged.