How to Be Creative

People often ask me how I come up with ideas. The fast answer is I’m just wired that way. But there’s also a large element of technique that I can teach you.

In some long-ago post, I described how I filter ideas with my body more than my mind. Internally, it feels like a slot machine with the little symbols changing in the three windows until some combination of three makes me literally “feel” something – a laugh, a wince, an ah-ha, whatever. It’s the ideas you can feel in your body that will engage others.

Once I have a topic that makes me feel something, I imagine myself as the reader and ask what my thought pattern would be on this topic. I start my writing process by acknowledging the most common view on the topic. And then I violate it. It’s the violating that makes it fun. The pattern looks like this: 1, 2, 3, 4, taupe.

I’ll give you an example from today. I saw an article in Time magazine about General Petraeus, the top military guy in Iraq. I skimmed the article, but a basic assumption was that he knows more about what’s happening in Iraq than you do. That seems obvious enough. And it made me think of all the comments on this blog from people who said our soldiers in Iraq know than anyone else more about how the war is going.

That’s the 1,2,3,4 part: Soldiers in Iraq know the most about the war effort in Iraq. It seems obvious. Okay, so that’s my topic. Here comes the creative part. I ask myself this question:

What if it’s the opposite?

That’s the universal creative question. It works on any topic. What if your doctor tried to kill you instead of heal you? What if your obedient dog considered you his slave? What if your H.R. director stopped pretending the company policies were designed with the greater good in mind?

Once I figure out the opposite position from the normal, I concoct an argument to defend it. You can make a case for just about any point of view. When that opposite argument turns out to be about 50% sensible, it’s often funny. When it is 90% sensible, it’s thought-provoking.

Let’s try the “opposite method” on this Iraq topic. What if the troops fighting in Iraq are the ones who know the LEAST about whether or not we’re winning the war? Could I make that case?

First, I’d point to the extensive, peer reviewed, science about cognitive dissonance. The main idea is that people who volunteer for situations that turn out bad will concoct elaborate mental justifications for why they did what they did. According to that theory, anyone who volunteered to defend the country, and found themselves in Iraq, would have low credibility on the question of “Is it working?” These folks would have the greatest access to the facts, while simultaneously having the least objectivity for evaluating those facts. In other words, even if the “surge” is not working, scientists would predict that a huge number of soldiers involved in the conflict would interpret the situation as a success in the making, or at least superior to all alternatives.

I love and respect the troops, but they are human.

Second, I’d point out that most of our information about the war comes from the generals. All leaders are unreliable. A general would be fired immediately if he said the surge was a bad idea. And if a general believed the surge might succeed, even as a long shot, he’d be a crappy leader if he told anyone his true assessment of the odds. So you can’t believe the leaders.

How about the individual troops? Cognitive dissonance aside, at the very least, they can report the facts, right? But soldiers only see the battles they’re in. If you hear from a soldier in a hopeless part of Iraq, he’s more likely to think a surge won’t work. If he’s assigned to a place where things are going well, he’s more likely to think that success could be duplicated. It’s the classic analogy of the three blind men trying to describe an elephant. One blind man feels the elephant’s trunk and says an elephant is just like a snake, etc. No soldier is in a position to see all of Iraq.

Many of you will read this opposite-argument and say, “Yeah, I see your points, but still, the soldiers are the best source we have.” Okay, let’s say 60% of the soldiers think the surge isn’t working and 40% think it is. Unless you know how many soldiers are having cognitive dissonance, or how many are suppressing a negative opinion in case someone finds out, you have no useful information whatsoever.

Go.

Comments

[George W. Lucas]

This is a test, please ignore

[Adrian D.]

"Adrian D, why is it so hard for *you* to believe that the war is a good thing done by bad people for bad reasons?"

Because I believe unprovoked invasion to be a *bad* thing. If any other nation launches such an unprovoked attack, we denounce it as evil. An act does not become good just because our nation is the perpetrator.

[Real Live Girl]

Creative thinking and deductive reasoning don't necessarily have to exclude the other. But it could also be the reason people tend to cross their eyes after failing to convince me that the lemmings are right.

[Erik]

Let's also point out that a) No one is going to allow anyone to interview soldiers who are in an area that they are losing, and b) those that are losing will not want to admit it, for fear of being the only ones losing.
No matter what, either the military leaders or the individual troops themselves will want to put the best face on things. Just because they might have the best info does not mean they will give it to us freely.

[Virgin]

Most people are lazy and go with the majority view. Creativity, now that takes thought, and very few people actually think.

[Azi]

Adrian D, why is it so hard for *you* to believe that the war is a good thing done by bad people for bad reasons?

[XX EE]

I like "1, 2, 3, 4, taupe" thinking. When I let my brain shift into me-as-a-five-year-old-kid mode, I get bombarded with thoughts like that. They are great for disarming any adults in the room into laughing--no embellishment needed.

Personally, I believe your assessment of the troops' opinions to be right on the nose. At best, the warfighter sees the war through his or her own personal soda straw. How often do they, and Bush's adherents here at home, become vociferously and obnoxiously defensive in extolling Bush, the invasion, and occupation because they simply can't bear to face the fact that America destroyed Iraq and murdered all those people for oil? I find it much easier to believe reports that present as many sides of the story as possible.

[Turil]

Clever, clever.

Indeed, we can never really know for sure what's going on in the rest of the world.

So now that we know that we'll never really know, what should we do? Well, I suggest that we stop wasting time worrying about what we DON'T know and start spending time doing things that we DO know will add good stuff to the world.

I mean, why waste time worrying when you can spend that time doing something good and healthy for yourself or others? We don't need to be political scientists or sociologists with three letter acronyms after our names to know that we can do all kinds of simple things that improve the lives of our friends, families, and communities. I mean, volunteering at a senior citizen center or daycare isn't rocket science. And neither is picking up some trash as we're walking around town, or lending a feel-good movie to a friend who's feeling stressed out lately. Improving the quality of life for the people around us will have domino effect for the rest of the world. And who knows, that person you help out may be the person who does actually know how to create peace in the Middle East, and your generosity may be just the thing they need to put their plan into action.

So yeah, do good stuff, and don't worry too much about the rest.

[jerry w.]

My humor train, please have your ticket ready.

One of the most common names in Southern California:

Jose.

Pronounced "Hose-Ay"

Slow it down and in Canadian-speak it would seem like the answer to:

What is the tool that firemen put out fires with?

I flip it around into:

How come we never hear about his younger brother, Hose-"B"?

There, I've connected our neighbors to the North and the South.

......

And for using a soldier's perspective as to how things are going with the war...

Crap, I derailed again.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Josh Mock]

You know, between your discussion about cognitive dissonance here and the handful of posts you've written about positive thinking and happiness and such, I bet you'd really enjoy reading psychologist Daniel Gilbert's book "Stumbling On Happiness." I think you'd find it a very intriguing and entertaining.

[hindimoviesong]

Yes
I am fell more +ve on Creating new things. In earth Man has only that have this much of Creative Mind.
A Docters & Expert say we not utilize our full Creativity in maay matters. If we use it " We Chage The World "
www.hindimoviesong.net

[Adrian D.]

Mark:

I would suggest that your post is only an attempt to resolve cognitive dissonance. You find it painful to think that we could be doing wrong in Iraq. On what are you basing the claim that the insurgents are not representative of the desires of the populace? Because Bush says so? Because you're sure this country never does anything wrong? I know that if a foreign country was occupying us -- no matter how good its official policies were -- I would want the occupiers removed. That would even hold true if the occupiers had removed Bush and Cheney (whom I believe to be detrimental to the country). Why should we believe that the belief that occupiers should get out is not representative of the Iraqi population?

The idea of "we put him there, now we are responsible for fixing it" is not consistently applied. Another reason to believe the claim to be specious is the fact that it was not used at the onset. Remember? The claim was that he was developing WMDs.

Although I am not hopeful, I know we need a president who can admit "I messed up." I was not impressed with Clinton's "mistakes were made." If Bush really wanted me to take him seriously, he could have said "I truly believed Saddam was developing WMDs. I was wrong. I apologize for the harm that as resulted from this mistake."

[John Marshall]

That's a clever way to look at arguments; it reveals many other facets about it.

This process sounds kind of like Parliamentary government: there's an Opposition in Parliament that, no matter what the Majority Government says, the Opposition has to make a counter-argument, no matter what it is. I'm not sure if that makes it work better or not.

[happy]

And now we know why you don't believe in God. You took what you already knew internally, flipped it around and now are spending the rest of your life looking for reasons why God does not exist. Hey that is creative...

[Jim]

===========
People often ask me how I come up with ideas.
===========

Why not just tell them the truth?

1 -- Your Dilbert ideas are emailed to you by people who actually work for a living.

2 -- Your political ideas come from whatever DNC talking points are being parroted on CNN that week.

Do not be ashamed.

[Joe2]

How can one be creative by following a recipy?

Unless you hide the recipy. Some people say the secret of creativity is the art of hiding the source.

[David]

A magician should never reveal his secrets Scott. Coincidentally however your 1,2,3,4 pattern is exactly how I picture Fox News and to a lesser extent (but not much lesser) CNN coming up with their topics of discussion. As an illustration: How public healthcare systems lead to acts of terrorism.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMu6wCqdeyQ

[SSG. Michael Hebron]

Mr. Adams; I really love your blog, but a few of these comments have gotten me riled up, and I feel like I should respond.
First, to Borjan. I graduated high school with an 1140 SAT score, so i'm no genius, but I am certainly not stupid. My reasons for joining were smart as well as sincere. I joined out of a combination of my senses of patriotism, duty, and honor. I love this country and it's freedoms, and protecting them for a time was a small sacrifice. I also joined because the ARMY could provide me with a financial base to put myself through college with. This was important because, contrary to popular thought, not all conservatives are born rich. I joined, and it was an informed and well thought-out choice. My father is a double major from JMU with a Master's degree in theology (yes, he is a preacher) and my mother is also a JMU graduate. They did not brainwash me nor influence me in any way.
So, the fact that you can't think of a single "smart" reason to join tells me that you have never sat back and thought about how many men have died so that this country has freedom of religion, German is not the national language, and, of course, freedom of speech, which allows people like you to make blanket statements about the uneducated state of our armemd forces. Four of the nine men in my squad have college degrees, and several of the rest of us are steadily plugging away towards ours. Don't make statements about soldiers you know nothing about. In return, I won't presume that you are a bleeding-heart liberal absorbing all of the offal that the John Kerrys and the Tim Robbins of the world produce, and then puking it back up with a little of your personal invective to make it sound original.
Second, to Mr. Adams. Your statement and presumption about the "blind men-elephant" principle is, in many ways, probably true. A lot of soldiers don't get the big picture. But I have worked both as a squad leader in an infantry company and as a Battle NCO in a TOC (tactical operations center, where all the intel comes in), so I have seen the war from several levels.
It's a little early yet to say that the surge isn't working, don't you think? The last of five additional Army brigades didn't arrive until mid-june, less than a month ago. Sectarian violence in Baghdad has dropped dramatically (currently less than half of pre-surge levels), and Al-Qaeda operativees centered in Baghdad have fled for anywhere safe. Only time will truly tell, but why don't we wait until all of the facts are in before we start throwing around suppositions that the surge hasn't worked.
PS - Love the strip, love the blog. Your take on sunburn (especially the being raped by carrots bit) had me on the floor, in tears. Keep it up!

[Dave]

To Borjan

Your post reeks of self-satisfaction. As the old adage goes, ignorance is bliss.

Are you aware that members of the military are better educated than the average person in the USA? That every officer has a college degree (as do many NCOs), and many have advanced degree? That the MINIMUM IQ for an infantry man is over 110? That the average IQ of a special ops soldier is around 120?

Of course not. You are just stuck in the perception of soldiers being people with no other options in life - the old "go to war or go to jail", unaware that ended about 30 years ago. Perhaps if you opened your mind you would realize that people join the military for all kinds of reasons - and patriotism is one of the biggest one.

Sign Me
US Army Major
OIF Vet
OJE Vet

[Sondra]

It is my considered opinion that you started with:

The troops fighting in Iraq are the ones who know the LEAST about whether or not we’re winning the war. Could I make that case?

...and created this post around it.

[jerry w.]

Mark wrote (perhaps with some assistance as most of the words are spelled correctly and the syntax is almost right):

"I also have an IQ of 156 as last test. I would love to hear Jerry's since all soldiers are not very bright."

Mark, I fall into a slightly lower but similar range (to avoid a pissing contest), but it's enough to understand that the signature line always follows ones post on typepad, it doesn't precede it. Have a look at yours to confirm this.

What you're talking about is someone else's posting.

And, from one (brighter than the average) veteran to another, peace out!

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Scott Alan Miller]

Don't forget that many soldiers are not allowed to divulge any facts about success rates. This generally applies to the most well informed soldiers. So the reliability rate drops again from military censorship (this isn't bad - just bad for reliability.)

And we have to evaluate what "going well" means to a soldier. Does it mean "Americans didn't die today" or does it mean "lots of Iraqis died today" or does it mean "we made real strides towards forming a stable, self-reliant government?" Chances are a soldier's idea of success has little to do with what the American public feels is the reason for having sent them there. So even a report of success or failure may be the opposite of what we hope that it would be.

[Mark]

I served for 8 years in the Army, and only got out to help my ailing mother. I also have an IQ of 156 as last test. I would love to hear Jerry's since all soldiers are not very bright. Maybe he can have an intelligent conversation with John Kerry. The search for "truth" is a wonderful pursuit, but i the context of Jerry's post, it sounds self centered. most philosophies expound of the ultimate truth be found in self sacrifice. Be glad that there are people who are willing to die to defend the freedoms you take fro granted. These same people will also fight to extend these freedoms to others. We helped keep Saddam in power, it was our responsibility to fix our mistake. At this point it doesn't matter if going into Iraq was right or wrong, what does matter is that at this point it would be criminal of us to just pull out and abandon them. Most Iraqi's are thankful for what we have done, the insurgents do not represent the majority. Yes the Iraqi's would like us to leave eventually, but not before they are ready to stand on their own. Jerry I would caution you against making blanket statements witout knowing the facts. I have served, and yes there are some soldiers that are dumber than a box of rocks, but most are intelligent, dedicate people doing something they believe in. Just because that belief differs from yours, or they chose a path for their lives that you would not choose for yourself, does not make them less intelligent.

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."
George Orwell

[DD]

What worries me more: if you poll "Did you die in Iraq" via anonamous questionares you will get somes "Yes" answers, and not all of them will be obtuse answers.

[Jim]

I enjoy how seemlessly you went from "People often ask me how I get my ideas" to "the war in Iraq is pointless and already lost" under the guise of being helpful.

I take it that this is part of your hypnosis "expertise."

Yeah, I'm sure the generals and soldiers in Iraq have no idea what is going on there. Better to get military insight from a cartoonist in California who works 45 minutes a day. It all makes sense now. You're a frickin' genius.

[jerry w.]

Why did we never hear about the opinion from the fourth blind guy?

That would be the one who described an elephant as being like a dripping fire hydrant that was hanging from the ceiling.

Just curious......

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Borjan]

Let's not forget that soldiers aren't the brightest people in the first place. I mean, other than the economy factor (need money), I cannot think of a single smart reason to join the army. There are many stupid reasons, of course (me like guns, huh huh!), but they just prove my point.

And on second thought, the economy factor further proves my point - smarter people can find jobs elsewhere or will find a job in the army that doesn't involve killing and/or being killed.

If you think of patriotism, can I ask you this: does patriotism (or any other school of thought) outweighs the truth?

My opinion is that just even search for truth is more important than anything else, so such made-up values like "nation", "god" don't come even close.

[lump]

I love the way you think Scott. I give you permission to breed.. in fact I ENCOURAGE it, lol. If you have plans for kids then I insist you have yourself cloned when it becomes all the rage. :)

[Stomper]

Scott no longer has to think hard in order to provoke responses from his readers. Simply ending a post with the word "Go" is now enough, by itself, to provoke a substantial response. Behavioral conditioning still has some credibiity, then . . .

--Stomper

[oster]

Wow. Your post is like a drop of rain in the pond. You just set of waves and now everyone's trying your ideas.

Here's to hoping you're not actually a person who finds manipulating the masses entertaining.

cheers

[Bob Duckles]

In the early seventies, as a doctoral student in Social-Clinical Psychology, I did a questionnaire study of attitudes of Vietnam veterans and social character. Those that had a more biophilious (life-loving) character had a strong tendency to be critical attitude toward the war, as compared to those with a more necrophilious character.

The social character construct was developed by Erich Fromm.

[Leonel]

Saddam is gone. So, who is aggressor animal now?...

[Paul]

That is my main source of humour too. Saying the opposite of what people expect.

With your example of the Iraq war, the former Iraqi information minister came to mind. He was a classic comedic character.

"We will defeat the amercian dogs, it is not true, the americans are NOT in Baghdad"

Pan camera over the ministers shoulder to view American tanks rolling into central Baghdad.

[Jebadiah Stewart]

Let me tell you, in 1863 none of this shit was a problem. Trust me, I was serving, son.

*Re-adjusts Kepi*

[Kilgore J. Trout]

wow you get all the indian and new zealand guys going here. or the young guys with no middle age money that are wowed by 50000.

i am cleaning out my bookcases for a major move and i have some of your old books from 10-20 years ago. do they stand the test of time or are they just artifacts fading into irrelevance. i'll look through them today.

we just dont have enough entertainment.

[Brian]

Cognitive dissonance... Suppressing a negative opinion in case someone finds out...

Could not this also apply to the media outlets providing information to the American public? Could not the media personalities look for stories that back their view, that jive with what they have already told the world?

FYI, as a currently serving soldier freshly returned from over there, I am of the opinion that the surge is not working. Of course, I think it is because the politicians (R&D) are trying to fight a war in the media, and not doing all that is needed to secure the country; tying the hands of the soldiers whose deaths they lament.

[Neep]

You know, I was going to comment "But none of that was funny!" and only just now realized that you didn't claim it was funny, only that it was an "idea" now it makes more sense, and I realize I should not have been waiting for a punchline to laugh at.

[Himanshu]

You really can make people put on their thinking caps. I am going to try the mentioned formula. Lets see how i fare.

[MPMustang]

When I first came back from Iraq, I defended and justified our involvlement in Iraq to anyone who challenged it. I based my justification on several points, the two biggies being 1) Hussein was truly an evil bastard and 2) the people have a better life now that we're there. It took me a long time to get over this and see the situation clearly. Here's why: In war, Soldiers have to do and see things that any sane person would detest. It's not easy to kill another person (I mean it's easy to do, just not easy to live with) or see a friend die without having justification. The immediate justification is "it's either me or him" or "I can't let my buddies down". I seriously doubt that there's ever been, or ever will be, a Soldier who thinks "Man, I've got to kill the insurgents that are shooting me right now because we've got to get this democracy kick-started." After the immediate justification(s) mentioned above, there is a need to find a bigger reason (hopefully an altruistic one) in order to keep your sanity. Soldiers will hang on to these reasons because they have to. I know I did. That's why I would never expect a Soldier to be a good barometer for how a war is going; you just can't get an objective opinion from someone who needs to justify his actions or involvement. When (notice I didn't say "if") I get sent back, I'll probably fall into the "we need to be here to help these poor people" attitude again. I hope not. I hope I'm smarter than that.

[Rohit]

Problems of cognitive dissonance etc are true of all opinion polls.In a large enough sample, one can safely assume that any personal thinking methodology variations will cancel each other out and the true average opinion emerges.Now whether the opinion is right or not is also a matter of opinion.As Clinton infamously said 'define is'.

[Wolfger]

Not just cognitive dissonance, but also filtered I/O. Soldiers can't say whatever they like. Or, rather, they can, but the powers that be censor the things they don't care for and/or punish the offender rather severely if he somehow circumvents censorship. Likewise, soldiers are only told what they "need to know". I'm pretty sure they don't have access to the daily body counts the way the typical CNN-tuned American citizen does. Bad for morale, they say.

[Simon Allen (UK)]

Thanks for another interesting and amusing set of words. When we look back at previous wars, we know that the soldiers knew practically nothing. That was bad for them.

So - who DID know? Usually the answer is ... no one.

Take the Cold War in which thousands died, the CIA knew stuff and Washington knew stuff. I dare say that the press knew some other things. Their counterparts in the USSR also knew bits but no one knew it all. Consequently, it went on far longer that it otherwise would have.

In Iraq, there is the added problem that some of those in power do not want to know all that is going on and that includes our Blair. To use a phrase of the times, that would present them with An Inconvenient Truth ...

[insaneeto]

I'm from Malaysia and chineses here love shark fin soups.

my english teacher: They don't kill them, but they extract their fins and put them back into the sea. However, they wil drown. You might say shark is a fish and how can a fish drown? Let me put it this way, if I chop off your legs and hands and throw you into the sea, will you drown?

So...Without shark fin, will you die? But without hands and legs(the fins), will the shark die?

me: But...but...they bully smaller fishes...

[Matthew R]

I'm in Kuwait, the rear, and I couldn't tell what the hell is going on north of the Kuwaiti border. I get the same BS that the rest of the world gets.

[Paul C 9ex British Army)]

As private Toms we were told an awful lot of things about serving in Northern Ireland. Now we were told - in "orientation" lessons - that only totalitarian armies indoctrinate their soldiers with whatever their political leaders want them to believe. In the great cradle of democracy which is Britain, the British Army does not "indoctrinate" its service personnel, oh no. Instead we got "orientation", which was well-meaning guidance on why we had been posted where we had been, and "general background information" and "briefing" on why we were in the top right-hand corner of Ireland, what we were there to defend and protect, and the purpose our presence was meant to achieve. Now the brightest among us saw through this straight away, and also noted that when relatively junior officers were passing on the approved line to us and inviting us to speak freely and voice any fears and concerns, there were more than the usual complement of hard-faced corporals and sergeants at the back of the room, watching for anyone who spoke out of turn and taking note of names and faces of dissidents for leisurely vengeance to be taken later. Only a brave or extraordinarily hacked-off Fusilier might have raised any issues that did not concur weith the official line...

And anyway, these orientation sessions always took place on a Friday afternoon, generally a quiet time at the end of a long week's training, with (we hoped) weekend leave passes to be issued to all except the small number of personnel needed to keep things ticking over. So nobody was going to incur the wrath of their platoon sergeant and be put on menial confined-to-barracks chores all weekend...

The most pernicious thing about orientation is that it mixed truth and, shall we say, economy with the truth. No actual lies, but what might be called The Official Line. You accept this because it's all you can do, but when it comes from a fairly typical Rupert (British Army Officer) with the double-barreled name, independent income, big family estate, family history of "noblesse-oblige" high Tory politics, a man who you know forms HIS political opinions from skimming the Daily Mail and Telegraph (right-wing newspapers) in the Officers' Mess every morning, it takes on a new slant of skewed objectivity. (However much you might otherwise like and respect the guy as an officer and leader, and in many cases we did)

In a Regiment where many of the the private soldiers came out of coal mines and steelworks areas of Wales and quite a few of us had developed political opinions that were not those of our officers, it made for an interesting mix!

When you start seeing the gap between the official line and reality - you would be surprised how many of us came out of Ireland with quiet sympathy for the Republicans and a nagging feeling they might just deep down have a legitimate cause for grievance - then you develop the seasoned British Tom's cynical attitude towards political authority of any kind. At best they're well meaning idiots, at worst culpably guilty of assorted crimes! Our generation discovered this in Ireland twenty-odd years ago; no doubt Toms are coming out of Basra and Iraq knowing the same.

Armies are conservative social institutions. The higher you go, the more the senior ranks are playing the political game because they are known to the politicos in a way private soldiers aren't. One of the majors in our Territorial (National Guard equivalent) battallion was also Tory Member of Parliament for Angelsey - ie, personally known to Margaret Thatcher. So a typical General is playing with one eye on his knighthood, say, as a reward for long service, or whatever favours might be bestowed on him after retiring from active service. He isn't exactly going to be 100% militarily objective - he mixes with senior politicians and is there to do their bidding. (It has to be this way - or you end up with a miltary junta running things. This is a strength and a weakness of the system. Montgomery only got the top job in WW2 because he was the General whose command was Southern England - he exploited the political advantages of this and made very sure to be in Churchill's orbit as much as he could so that he was the General Churchill thought of most of the time. By contrast, Britain's most able general officer of WW2 was in command way out in India and Burma, and although ten times better than Monty, lacked the political contacts and opportunities to push himself forward)

At least most Armies are managed, when it comes down to it, by very able sergeants and sergeants-major who can mitigate the worst of the bullshit and make the system work...

[Cynic]

>>Any art requires technical knowledge or talent that can be passed on in a formulaic how-to, but creativity itself?

Why not? You can use a static algorithm (formula) to produce chaotic fractals.
Deterministic != Predictable.

To take a "meme" from Douglas Hofstadter's Metamagical Themas, what is creativity besides variation on a theme? Pattern recognition and mutation/recombination, whether intentional or not, with other patterns (or memes).

The engines of creativity just operate beneath our awareness most of the time. That's the only reason that it sounds weird to have creativity reduced to formulae.

Word.

[wernman]

Your opposite game is a useful exercise, and an important in certain cases. If you can understand how your opponent thinks, and s/he doesn't understand how you think, you have a distinct advantage.

But it seems like you've played it so much, spent so much energy justifying (even as just play) obvious BS, that you've lost your ability to discern between truth and BS. It's always a risk that what you dabble in will take you over before you even realized it's happened.

[ShirtBloke]

“Creativity is the sudden cessation of stupidity.”

Edwin H. Land

[Andrew]

You missed out the funny bit? The answer to who knows best would have been Sadam.

[Divyansh Sharma]

awesome post

[Mark Harrison]

I'm aware of the theory of cognitive dissonance, but I also know a bit about information theory.

If we have the information "60% of front-line soldiers currently in Iraq believe the surge isn't working, 40% belive it is", then, absolutely right, this tells us nothing.

However, if we added the information points (I'm making up the numbers below, by the way):

- In 1915, 80% of front-line soldiers on the Western front thought it was going badly.
- In 1944, 20% of the front-line soldiers on the Western front thought it was going badly.
- In Vietnam, 70% thought it was going badly.
- In the British Falklands campaign, 30% thought it was going badly.

.... THEN you have some useful information, and can take a stab that the Iraq campaign is going less badly than the Falklands, but better than WWI.

The problem in trying to apply this, of course, is that until fairly recently (Gulf War I?) there wasn't the same level of embedded reporting, so the only information sources back were filtered through the "machine" rather than raw data.

However, for future wars, making sure that we understand the 60:40 (or whatever it turns out to be) split NOW may well be important to help us judge future conflicts.

Will there be future conflicts? I fear that the world isn't going to run out of groups of people who want to fight each other to get what they want.

I too, have nothing but love and respect for the troops who are serving out there (and in other parts of the world.)

[Silvox]

Debate, is that what you mean?
BTW Best post ever :)

[J]

As a junior infantry officer currently serving in Iraq, I loved today's blog, which isn't surprising since I love it most days. I found that alot of what you thought of applied to me, of course I've rationalized to myself things are great since I'm stuck here, I just hadn't really realized it. The question "Is it working" is silly to begin with though, it's impossible to define "working" when there is no clear strategic goal, but at the small unit level it is without a doubt working for us. We are finally getting more sleep and off time, and we have increased support for larger operations. The really crappy part of the surge, is in order to maintain it long term, they will be forced to cut the time we have home in between deployments and maybe even increase our extensions here past 13 months.
Oh and the top general here definitely is the top authority on what is going on, people understand how amazingly competent generals are.

[passerby]

>Go

Go where? You didn't provide enough useful information!

[microcosm]

When you have a situation as black and white as win-lose or kill- be killed, having maximum information is your best bet and a high degree of objectivity (particularly if sanity says its not going to help you destress) sort of defeats your fundamental right to survive. In that kind of situation, maybe losing objectivity might not be for the fear of looking like a fool. Or is it I am thinking straight like a typical unintelligent stereotyped homosapien?

I remember, as a small child, we had a rustic stand-up comic in our area who used to make us laugh by conjuring situations opposite of normal. Example- suppose we nomenclatured our heart as ass, then what. Try this out- remember all the mushy songs with the word "heart", replace the word with "ass" and sing out loud. Thats fun....albeit crass.

The line between idiocy & intellect wears thin with passage of time......

[Kevin Kunreuther]

Did we all miss the point somewhere along the way? Scott is demonstrating a technique in being creative, AND all of a sudden, everyone lost their concentration and it's all about Iraq again.
This one example or technique in creativity Scott is demonstrating by example is taking a character or person(s) who is considered a trustworthy person in authority, and make him/her/them sound like he/she/them is full of shit. Taken down one path - funny. Taken a little further - provocative.

I'll say this example worked pretty damn well.

How about this for an idea: a leader who many people regard as not very bright, was a spoiled child who hated his father yet competed for his attention and approval, never very good at business, has always been bailed out of one fix or another in his life, always took unthought out shortcuts, is easily fooled by people who pay him compliments but disparage him behind his back, steals credit for other peoples' success but disowns his own failings, passing them off as other's shortcomings, defends his incompetent and or crooked cronies despite overwhelming evidence of their guilt, suddenly has his first real epiphony that everything he's ever believed in was a big fat lie, that he has been manipulated and cajoled all his life and his actions caused the suffering and death of many innocent people for the benefit of short sighted greedy robber barons and people of differing religous beliefs. Does he step up to the plate and admit his shortcomings and the criminal activities of his cronies and immediately moves to make amends and restore credibility or does he "go with the flow", "doesn't rock the boat" and hope he can coast until he can disappear from the public eye and let someone else clean up his mess?

[Edward Ross]

Please stop putting go at the end of your posts! Go.

[Marco]

This is a little off topic, but I do have a request for you to consider:

In the past, you've said a lot about cognitive dissonance, including that the person who's experiencing it is incapable of realizing it, or of self-diagnosis.

You've also been very open in this blog, said many bold things and occasionally took something back, changed your mind about it, admitted you were wrong, etc.

What I'm looking forward to is a post where you describe how YOU (being human and all) got trapped in cognitive dissonance. And how you found out that you were trapped in cognitive dissonance. Because so far, you've only talked about it in terms of "something that happens to people but not to Scott Adams."

[Ian Smith]

Surely that's not 'opposite' enough?

Truly opposite would be to ask the insurgents/freedom fighters in Iraq who's winning. Sure they will big up their success etc., but if you take the average position between what the US army and the insurgents say - you're probably going to be closer to the truth.

Has anyone ever asked them?

Not funny maybe, but you have to earn your money somewhere.

[Paul Bruner]

Humm. I guess this is where surveys are useful. I propose a test!

I call it the "Dick Clark" test. We get Dick Clark, strap a bullet proof vest on him, and have him interview people on the "street"

Humm. Not good enough. If he lives or dies, then you can just say the street is "safe" or "not-safe". Let’s add a few body guards as a rateing system.

So for instance, if Dick Clark only needs one body guard, we can say that street is a "1" on the danger scale. If 10, then we can say he shouldn't go down it to begin with. If he doesn’t need his vest, then a new “Mission Accomplished” banner is in order.

Though we should get a bunch of Dick Clark look alkies’. I mean, we don't want to kill the original and I doubt many Iraqis have seen American Bandstand.

[Michael Casey]

No, don't go! Stop! Stop, you idiots! He's just trying to egg you on for his own entertainment! Don't you realize that the soldier theory is just an example?

[Hush! -- Scott]

Scott! Wh-what are you doing here? I thought you entered our posts when we were done typing them!

[Your cognitive dissonance makes it seem that way, yes. -- Scott]

But I...Wait, how often do you hide behind our cognitive dissonance?

[Just enough to keep myself entertained. -- Scott]

That's so mean! You said you ran this blog to serve a purpose larger than yourself!

[I did. And I do. It just so happens that it's also a purpose that keeps me entertained. -- Scott]

But...you only do it "just enough" to be entertained. Is that always exactly in line with your larger purpose, whatever that is?

[Absolutely. I like to improve other people's lives without them realizing it. When they get grumpy about it, it becomes entertaining to boot. That's when I know that I've impacted them. -- Scott]

I guess that makes sense.

[Of course it does. -- Scott]

I'll have to think about it some more. Can I have my brain back now?

[Sure. Go. -- Scott]

[Mark]

For some reason in american culture it is a taboo to write anything negative or even slightly involving critism regarding "the troops". Maybe I misjudge this but I have the impression saying something negative will get you lynched.

This really skews the debate on anything involving the military.

[Amit]

Scott ... Throughout the post, i was looking for "taupe" part. But sadly just found the "1 2 3 4" part. Though quite an explanatory post, I was looking for a creative view on "how to be creative".

[Attie Naude]

Umm, I might have missed it in-between all the psych shop talk, but where exactly was the humor in this article?

Face it, Scott, the war in Iraq just isn't very funny - yet.

Perhaps when Bush goes down there himself and the natives start hurling feces at him it'll become funny...

[Apolitical is the Only Way to Go]

Having once served as both a private and a platoon sergeant in the army, I can say pretty much, that soldiers in the trenches aren't made aware of anything going on war-wide. Even an NCO or officer at the company level is given only enough information to embark on the given mission.

It's called "a need to know".

[Kilgore J. Trout]

who knows? the american civil war took 140 years to sort out slavery, civil rights and general north-south animosity. if you visited the south in the 60s-70s, many southerners were still fighting it mentally.

radical muslims will still be fighting mentally in 2100 but how many vest strapping retards can you continue to find as time goes on. better to actively grind them down there.

gore would have probably tossed a couple of cruise missiles at afghanistan after 911.

you have to admire the british in the way they rapidly sweep up retards.

[Madmarleyboro29]

Easiest way I've found to assemble humor, is simply to sit back and watch the pieces of other's conversations fall randomly into place.

To remain somewhat quiet in the social gathering...but "gathering" the tidbits & topics, that spill forth in any conversation.

Humor in everyday life, always comes "not assembled".

Conversation topics, and those involved in it, are respectively labeled A, B, C, D & so forth.

You'll either get a gas grill, with missing parts, or something totally off the wall as far as entertainment, by the time you're done fumbling with the pieces, people, and what's on their mind.

"A" might be religion. "B" might be love, sex & relationships. "C" could be government. "D" philosophy on the what ifs & after-deaths. You might even go through the entire alphabet in your labeling, and part-to-part connections....just to see what you get.

A laugh is the intended & hoped for result.

It requires, however, a slight delay, in order to work properly & be assembled correctly.

Dump all of the pieces on the floor. Wait for them to begin movement on their own. The gravitational pull of subject matter, to it's own camp in thought.

Then wickedly decide, to re-align the pieces vertically like a JENGA stack....pull out just one piece, and see if any of the other pieces can still stand under their own weight & thought of existence at all.

The Humor, is derived from watching the now unstable stack, fold under it's own weight, into a conclusion...that began as a pile on the floor, and still is...just a pile on the floor(regardless of it's assignment of part or function).

You can make wild leaps of thought, from one part, to another...by simply "stacking" them all together.

These parts, on their own, could squabble for hours on end in any given bar. Put them together in just the right punchline (vertical stack), and you've got a keeper. A quote in History itself.

[jake]

How To Tell If You're NOT Creative:

You're some boring pinhead always telling Scott Adams how to do his job with some longwinded and tedious comment on his blog.

I swear, the comments posted here are by the dumbest people ever who labor under the delusion that they are smart. I can always count on reading some of the stupidest shit ever when I make the mistake of reading these posts.

[D. Mented]

I'd say Ronald Reagan is our best source of accurate information about Iraq.
Posthoumously.
Take his famous question:"Are you better off now than you were four years ago?", tweak the years thing to "five"
and ask the Iraqis.
The administration can't fire them for being honest; they're already under fire.
They know exactly what it takes to get food, water, shelter, an education for their kids, and all those measures of prosperity we take for granted around here, and what it used to take.
Since the reason for going to war is now (retroactively) "to free the Iraqi people", they really ought to have a say in assessing their current freedom-quotient.
D. Mented

[McGurker]

Now hold on, my doctor isn't trying to kill me?

[Kevin Kunreuther]

Some time ago,I almost literally got lynched in a public place ( a bar at a horse racing track ) for suggesting similar idea ( soldiers have no idea of overall situation; are in denial; generals in command are lying or at best, clueless; Rumsfeld was covering up graft and incompetence, etc ) openly to my fellow race track attendees ( drunk, sunburned, gamblers and some of them are soldiers on leave from Afghanistan and Iraq ). Security moved in, separated us and had me upgraded to upper suite until the teeming mob departed. The GM approached me later, heard my side of story, and highly suggested that while my money is always welcome, it would be prudent if I kept my political views to myself while on his premises. Upshot that during my time in penthouse suite, I got free booze and free buffet while dropping the rent on horses that did no better than fifth. It was a fair trade-off, I felt.

[rd]

'In the black sky - words are inscribed And blind are beautiful eyes... And isn't scary to us the mortal bed And isn't sweet to us the bed passionate In sweat - who is writing In sweat - who is plowing! Different zest is known to us The lightest fire dancing in the curls - The holy breath of Inspiration!'
(M.T.)

[Ray Kremer]

It's a Schrodinger's cat. We can't really know until after it's over and the historians have taken over. I mean, all the folks saying the war is being lost and all that, you can't trust them to be objective either since most of them are either anti-war hippies or hardline politicos who would cut off an arm before admitting that the President of the opposite political party has done the slightest thing correct.

[Og the Invincible]

This makes sense. I think I do a form of this, but I've never thought of it that way. I have a natural tendency to play "Devil's Advocate". In conversation, I'll often present a viewpoint that I don't actually agree with, just to find out how much my own opinion, or the opinions of others stack up, or to try and understand the opposition better. I often find myself making more sense speaking from an opposing viewpoint. It is a little scary, especially when you do it so well that people start to think you're presenting those viewpoints as your own.

[Bryan]

"When that opposite argument turns out to be about 50% sensible, it’s often funny"

Then obviously your idea wasn't 50% sensible today.

[kls]

A really good explanation of comedic creativity, but maybe a bad example.

No matter which way you turn it around and look at it, the mess in Iraq isn't funny.

[Calgarian]

Use the word poutine in a strip ... all French Canadians will be very impressed ....

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poutine

[Calgarian]

"Surge" ... that's like "once more over the top and it'll all be over by Christmas"?

90 years later and the facts of war don't change much, do they?

[Håkon]

Take those Japanese guys who were still fighting in WW2 forty years after it was finished. Did they know most about the war as well? "Let me tell you about the second world war, kids. It lasted about 50 years, and the allies were masters of disguise."

[vasco]

That was a creative
article. Congrats!

----------------------
http://href.hu/x/2to4
http://href.hu/x/2sv1

[Don Hancock]

One thing I certainly remember is that back home EVERYBODY knew more about Desert Storm than I did and I was in the middle of it all. In the early '90's we certainly didn't have internet access on ships. Being in the middle of the Gulf, we couldn't go to a tent to phone home. Mail was erratic and VERY late usually meaning what news we got could be 10 days old by the time we read it.
What I'm getting at is I agree with your "3 Blind Men" analogy - soldiers are typically only aware of their immediate surroundings...
And most heartily support our troops. I find it shameful all of the saber rattling that went on with the start of this "war" with all the rhetoric about "we shall never stop until terrorism is stamped out.." and all the agreements and here we are as a country saying it's time to pull out.... If we were for it at the start, we should be for it now.

[Steveo]

Booorrriiinnngggg...

[p]

this has been your most 'sitting in a room talking with scott' post in a while and for that reason alone i love it.

[Nick]

I'm creepified by the fact that we share identical thinking processes. I would add never take anything for granted.

[Dick]

If you conclude you can't believe either the generals or the troops on the ground in Iraq ... using the same logic, you can't believe anything reported by any form of media, radio, TV, print, etc.

[Nick]

Nothing called "a Surge" could possible work, its such a dumb name.

[Dee]

Soldiers are trained NEVER to question what a commander says.

If the commander says things are going swimmingly, who ya gonna believe? Your own eyes and experiences or your commander? Your own eyes and experiences or the Commander In Chief who has never seen a minute of combat in his whole life?

Of course the brainwashing doesn't take with 100% of the soldiers but that is another post.

[CLB]

Great post. I think you just answered your own earlier question about horror films.

Horror seems to focus on the opposite of common assumptions. What if there really are monsters? What if death isn’t really final? What if inanimate objects aren’t really so inanimate?

[Dave]

"Despite anteaters." eh?

[Big Al]

also...

the soldier in the successful part of a war says it's working, the soldier in the unsuccessful part of the war might not be around to say how bad it is.

[Bill Tkach]

Creativity. I've been taught by, much like anything, that creativity is a processes. Much like anything else you can learn. People that are not musically inclined can play an instrument, people that are not artistically inclined can draw. It just takes time to learn.

The same with creativity. People can learn to be creative. I've taken courses which essentially teach you how to become more creative, while pursuing a graphic design career. You need to be able to make yourself be creative in situations where you are not feeling creative. As I was taught, if you had to wait for the BIG IDEA to hit you before creating something, nothing would ever get done.

You need to start by looking at other sources, and piecing different sources to together, in order to come up with something new. You then take that something new and see how you can add/change/improve it. It's a never ending process. Read a paper, find a picture, watch a Tube show, surf the Internet, fry some ant's with a magnifying glass. Maybe that little vinegary smell emitted from the ant as it cooks will be an eye-opener!

As long as you establish some way to start your mind thinking, you will have more creative ideas come to you. I f you sit and stare at a blank sheet of paper, pencil in hand, waiting for the BIG IDEA, it ain't gonna happen. You have to stimulate the ol' brain. In my case if I was trying to make an ad for a bottle of water, it might be interesting to take it various places and take pictures of it. I know, people probably would think your a freak taking a picture of a water bottle lying on a beach towel, or lying in a green pasture, but these pictures help propel you to other ideas.

Obviously, some people are more creative, just like some people can cook better or solve quadratic equations better. But anyone can do it. And the more you do it, the better you get.

Enough already...

[Paul Mckenna]

In the UK they are trying to restrict internet access from soldiers.

I suggest nobody knows what is happening.

Let the Iraqis kill each other and we get out.

You know it makes sense

Paul

[Stomper]

Part 2 of the creative process is figuring out how to present the opposite, so that the presentation meets your goals. Sure, your thesis might have some credibility (i.e., soldiers are not a reliable source of information), and you can make an argument for it, but that argument doesn't make a good comic strip.

Having explored the issue and found enough credibility for humor, you have to find some way, appropriate to your medium, to convey the issue. There are some situations in which it makes the most sense to simply lay out your arguments. There are others (i.e., comic strips) where you need to imply the arguments -- and that is rarely easy. This is the part that comes more easily with something we call "talent."

--Stomper

[Jez]

Today's blog is one of a few you've posted with a slightly objectionable title. Perhaps you follow this formula and perhaps by sharing it readers will expand their collective skill set, but before you put it that way you weren't some kind of numbskull. Any art requires technical knowledge or talent that can be passed on in a formulaic how-to, but creativity itself?

[Texas Toast]

The thing to keep in mind is that your blog is only philoso-tainment. You don't write to help us achieve a higher level of understanding, you write entertain. That's why people shouldn't get so worked up when they disagree. Someone's got to be the devil's advocate.

[Ross]

You really like to end your posts with "Go", don't you Scott?

[Joshua Jacobsen]

Personally, I doubt virtually any information that I'm provided with. However, I need some level of information to function and have thoughts and opinions, so I "make do" with whatever I figure to be the "least defective" information. Generally I find that strong opinions are always a mistake, however.

[friskybeaver]

Go what? Are we supposed to come up with the funny part, because I don't think you did. Although this did remind me of the Pinky & the Brain where Pinky finally got to give taking over the world a try and nearly did. That show was hilarious, NARF.

[CmdrSue]

Oh, and regarding the creativity part - which is ostensibly the point of this post - I'm also a big fan of 1,2,taupe,4. And especially 1,2,penguin dust,4. But then again I've always scored well on my Creativity Quotient.

http://home.iprimus.com.au/siegloff/clark/flotsam/other/creativity_quotient.html

[LadySatel]

My head is spinning. Not an uncommon thing when I read one of your blogs.

[Jan]

Hugh MacLeod wants his title back. ;-)

http://www.gapingvoid.com/Moveable_Type/archives/000932.html

[Chris]

Interesting explanation on creativity. I'm forwarding it to my wife to see if that's how she actually works. I mean, the same principle applies. Take anything I say, and go opposite.

I can therefore assume that she's either really creative, or my arguments suck. I'm like 0 for 2 million by now.

---
I don't know shit about cognitive dissonce, so I'll consider you the person with no credibility on cognitive dissonance for now.

I think I'll use it the next time she complains about work.

"You need to move past your elaborate mental justification for your shitty job that you willingly accepted. Although you have the greatest access the facts to dtermine said level of shittiness,
you have the least objectivity for evaluating the true shittiness of your job and are just trying to find something else to bitch about"

I added the last part.

I predict no pun-tang for me.

But it'll be fun :) All thanks to cognitive dissonance & creativity!

[nico]

Oooops...
I think a glitch in your computer mixed up two posts. You start with "Hey guys, here's a post about how to be creative" (methinks : great) and you finish by "So nobody knows if the war in Irak is a success or not".

No, really, you did.

Ok, here's another post on the same model:

Hey guys, here's a great tip to improve your sexlife overnight...
bla bla bla
bla bla bla
bla bla bla
... and that's why the Kennedys are responsible for 9/11.

That could be an actual contest on this blog.You'd call it the "irrelevant conclusion contest" or the "July 5th posts contest". And I'm sure a lot of the comments posted so far already apply.

It's like this theory that every topic in any conversation is always only a few keywords away from sex. Sounds about right. But in USA, it seems sex has been replaced by Irak. No matter what the conversation is about, you can relate it to the war.
Reminds me of this joke:

_ What is it that men have, that is long and hard ?
_ The draft.

(Sorry, poorly translated. I hope the funny came across anyway)

Anyway, that's why I'll never eat scrambled eggs again.

[mjc jr]

Quickly on yesterdays post which I missed due to it being the 4th. As a person so pale it borders on translucence, I claim "Most Suffering Person" status when it comes to sunshine. Even if I do bite the bullet and endure some 2nd degree sunburn just so I can enjoy some actual skin color for a couple months a year, the color I get would be best described by Sherwin Williams as "bruised peach." I, seeming descendent of undersea cave dwellers, hereby cry "victim!" I am a victim of society's worship of sun-kissed flesh!

Regarding today's post, I'm really digging this whole idea of approaching humor writing mechanically. I consider myself a rather funny guy, and it's always just by feel. I could never concieve of humor devised from a step-by-step template. Although I do remember one time hearing a Carlin recording where he discusses the topic. He says, humor comes from exagerrating one element in an otherwise normal situation. Everything's sort of regular, except for one thing - an object, an attitude, a character, etc. that's completely out of whack in some way.

[PumpkinSpider]

"What if your doctor tried to kill you instead of heal you? "

Careful with the irony there, Scott - here in Scotland two doctors just bombed our airport...

[Jabba]

"Go"????

Go where? To Iraq? No way! There's way too much dissonance going on over there. I had that once, I think. I was bed ridden for days.

[Chrisgiraffe]

Oh yeah, I forgot to add, your instructions are not so much how to be creative as how to be funny.

"the essence of humour lies in two ingredients; the relevance factor and the surprise factor. First, something familiar (or relevant) to the audience is presented. (However, the relevant situation may be so familiar to the audience that it doesn't always have to be presented, as occurs in absurd humour, for example). From there, they may think they know the natural follow-through thoughts or conclusion. The next principal ingredient is the presentation of something different from the audience's expectations, or else the natural result of interpreting the original situation in a different, less common way (see twist or surprise factor)."

-exerpted from some stranger with no credibility on Wikipedia

[Ken H.]

Perhaps the people that are collecting information and intelligence first hand, and are dealing with this information in ways that have a direct impact on the lives of their fellow Soldiers have a pretty good picture of what is actually going on. Maybe even a better view of the big picture than "journalists" that never go outside of the wire.

Having been there, and having had access to loads of raw intelligence, I felt I had a much better picture of what was going on than in Iraq than most of the people back home.

99.9% of what is going on over there never makes the news. It always amazes me how much people think they can learn by reading the 0.1% that makes the news and listening to commentators with agendas.

[Flyspeck]

During the Vietnam War, our soldiers believed that the peace movement was peopled with their enemies, and that the war wizards of the Pentagon (The Five Sided Puzzle Palace) were their friends. The generals were the ones sending them to their deaths; the peaceniks were demanding that the military stop the war. One side wanted our boys killed; the other side wanted their lives spared. Which faction brought our troops home?

So, yes, being in the thick of things doesn't necessarily inform anyone of anything useful. They can be dumb as a stump and totally impervious to learning.

Especially soldiers. Catechism is the age-old method of instructing children by shouting at them. It works on children as old as 19. Military training is done by treating teenagers like small frightened children, shouting at them so that they learn to accept uncritically whatever is shouted at them. This training disposes them accept what they are told by the shouters even when they aren't shouting.

Present a newbie fresh out of bootcamp, and an incoming college freshman, both picked at random, with a problem involving mortal danger. If either is going to think straight, who would you bet on?

We do tend to try rationalizing bad choices. Someone who signed up for the National Guard for the benefits has had lots of practice at defending his history of mistakes. Especially if in the meantime he's lost his stateside job, his wife divorced him and got the kids and he's already a year behind in child support, and after he got wounded they sent him back to the front somewhat crippled and deaf in one ear, and now with his somewhat damaged brain has lost all hope of ever going to college -- and the word is they're extending his tour for the sixth time.

[Chrisgiraffe's alter ego]

The Iraq war is a study in the fine line seperating high hopes and denigrating lies. In fact, no one knows the future and thus people are forced to make guesses. Though we must guess, all leadership has an intrensic duty to sell their guesses as the best one- regardless of the outcome. I believe that pattern is ingrained in our American culture and becomes more so as we expect to control uncertain events. I've come to find that American leaders are salesmen and their job is to sell optimism. "This product is positioned to lead the market in broad sweeps", "Our new divisions are technically poised to significantly impact our competitors market share" "Redoubling our efforts are bound to eventually win over the hearts and minds of the terrorists." As the head honcho of a large organization you need optimism to deal with the real uncertainty of tomorrow and, are likely to promote those optimistic underlings for their 'positive attitude' and demote their opponents for being 'buzz killers'. Optimistic lies are probably the best way to get promoted. In most cases , it's not that people tell lies, it's that people are betrayed by the multitude of conflicting desires and chance.

There is a fall out from all of this that can be summed up in one phrase: Don't expect much from American institutions.

[esteban]

I'm just glad scott has decided to steer clear (for now) of topics such as retarded, whores and movie genres WHICH ARE DESIGNED TO BE APPRECIATED BY TEENAGERS, not guys in their forties.

[TomB]

You explained how you go about coming up with something that's funny. My question is, did you start using this process intuitively, and have now reverse-engineered it to the point where you understand what you've been doing all this time? Or did you figure this out from the beginning, and follow it?

[Trial and error, then reverse engineering. But I had enough native skill to get the luxury of doing the trial and error. -- Scott]

[Mark Thorson]

On many of the cooking and
DIY shows on PBS, I often hear
the advice to "be creative".
Everytime I hear that, I think
what a waste of time that
advice is. If somebody needs
to be told to "be creative",
they probably are incapable of
doing that, even if they make
a conscious decision to try.

"Creative! That's it! That's
what I need to do! How do I
do that?"

[KC]

Uh, what was the question again?

[Nic]

I've tried very hard to convince my best friend that he should read this blog... it's intelligent and learned. We also spoke today about how someone could consistantly write something that was funny and intelligent. I'm more interested in whether he will read this? This was the post we were talking about today, wonder if you'll find it...

[Manual]

Ok... like everyone else.... I'm still waiting for the punch line.

:)

[Mr. Black]

Seems a prompt is in order. Something along the lines of a soldier saying, "I can tell we're winning..."

(Could be just as easily losing but winning has a built in irony [opposite meaning]; eg. "I can tell we're losing, Bush just declared victory." Our modern sensibility is in war there are no winners. Seems to me I recall an old cartoon (vietnam?) with a pile of bodies and a ragged, wounded soldier on top, "Did we win yet?" )

"I can tell we're winning:

1) There's no one left to kill but...
a) Women and children.
b) Each other.
c) Ourselves.

2) We've run out of...
a) bullets.
b) body bags.
c) champagne.

3) They've started issuing us...
a) Yamukes
b) White flags.
c) Band instruments.

Seems like word choice ("issuing" vs. "sending," "bullets," vs. "ammo," "kill" vs. "shoot") has a major effect on the impact. And even what order I assembled these little lists. The last one would be funnier if White flags was last.

Also, being more specific seems to help. Several seem to ambiguous to me or imply a point of view I don't share, or sound better than they really are (eg. ..."ourselves.").

There's a bit of poetry and smoke-and-mirrors to this, no?

[Myke]

Ha Ha, I get it. That is some funny shit...

[Steve]

Huh, now that you point out how you do it, it isn't very impressive, thought-provoking or funny any more. Oh well, I will just bug Pastis until he gives up his secrets.

[Rob B]

Wait, I still don't understand the 1,2,3,4 part. or the taupe part. And how would you make this funny?

[basselope]

Then again, one could mention "Swarm Theory", wherein even a very large, leaderless group (some might say, not unlike the U.S. currently)can make seemingly intelligent decisions even though no individual has a clue what the heck is going on in the Big Picture.

Ants, Bees, Schooling fish - all tend to make decisions that are good for the whole even though there is no real Leadership, no daily activity assignments, no quorum call. Soldiers might equate quite nicely with "Ants with guns" in this sense.

Or perhaps it just means we should be asking the ants what to do........... hmmmmmm.

[George]

No one will tell the truth in a punishable situation unless it fits the opinion of the person they are reporting to. They may think its the truth, they may blatantly lie, or they may adjust the facts to work out to their advantage. Everyone from the soldier on up to the VP is going to say what he thinks the person directly above wants to hear. In theory, that should work with politicians since they report to the general population, but I think we all know that hasn't happened in a long, long time.

[Dena Fitz]

Thank you, Scott.

Your post argues the stance I've had on this since the beginning, only much more clearly than I could have.

Hope you had a good holiday yesterday.

[Mary Wu]

HELLO!!!

I feed my dog, walk him, pick up his poop, pay for his kibble, take him to the vet, drive him to the dog park. Of *COURSE* I am his slave.

And YOU my dear, are slave to your cat.

No argument there.

[John V]

I stumbled across the new term "Homicide Bomber" while reading a Fox News article and thought - hey, that's pretty creative.

For more info. on the history of this creative term see http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=homicide+bomber

Orwell would be proud . . .

[Karl N]

"What if it’s the opposite?"

So simple, but so explanatory of what makes things funny. Thanks Scott.

[Smart Guy]

Thanks for your tip on how to be creative. I've been stealing your ideas and drawing cartoons in my cubicle. That has earned lot of fame to me. :)

I'll try to come up with something on my own now. Thank you, sire!

[Someone]

It gets worse: if you hold a poll, virtually all respondents will answer "Did you die in Iraq?" with "no". I doubt that the ones that did not participate in your poll will think things are going fine in Iraq.

[canajian]

I usually consider the most popular view on an issue, and figure out the assumptions made to produce such view. Take the assumption that is most obvious and easiest to make - therefore no one would even think about it - and make an opposite assumption, and deduce from there. Vola - you get something really profound.

[Diana W]

So what you're trying to say is that soldiers are actually the best source for predicting the winner of Iowa's Great Ape Annual Trust Bowlathon because they wear a lot of taupe?

[functioning moral compass]

Soldiers, especially generals, are trained to WIN WIN WIN!!! Asking a soldier if we can win will result in a predictable answer, despite the odds. Those generals aren't lying or covering up. They're trained and selected to believe they can win, no matter the odds. They'll go out there and expend whatever number of lives are needed to achieve the goal. They'll keep on sending boys out to die until they win or are called home. And they'll believe in the mission that whole time.

Ask a surgeon if you need surgery. Ask a cop if crime is out of control. Ask a salesman if you need a new car. You'll get the same predictable answer. And it's not just that they are selling. They generally actually believe it. It's the cognitive dissonance thing.

Ask a theologian if God's Design is perfect, and he's gonna say yes. Despite anteaters. Despite the appendix. Despite sunburn.

[LA Clay]

Blind man "Hey, this elephants trunk is getting harder"

Zoo Keeper "The trunk's up here"

[Anthony Garza]

Ooh Ooh I get to be first. As a former soldier, not in wartime mind you, I beleive that soldiers are well aware how things are going but they are often silenced by the UCMJ and possilbe action against them. So they are definately not a good source of info concerning the war. On the real topic of creativity Sounds like a neat process Personally I usually drink two or three beers and if I am still sober enough to come up with an Idea I roll with it.