The Loser Decision

In my mid twenties, when I was a banker, a top executive in the company offered me a job as his personal gopher. I declined because I already had a good job managing a small group of people. Being a gopher seemed like a step backwards. There wasn’t even a raise involved.

The executive went ballistic. He told me I was making the stupidest decision of my career. I laughed to myself, wondering if anyone was dumb enough to think a gopher job was a stepping stone toward becoming a captain of industry.

Another young guy in the division took the gopher job. A year later he was promoted to Assistant Vice President. In three years he made Vice President, thanks to his mentor. Now he probably owns his own bank.

What I didn’t understand at the time, and the executive in my story didn’t mention, was that the gopher job was his way of getting to know me better, and introducing me to the other executives before propelling me up the ranks. My ego clouded my judgment. I wasn’t willing to go from boss to gopher. That’s all I saw in this decision, even though the reality is obvious in retrospect.

Years later, I got a chance to fix that mistake. When Dilbert launched in newspapers, the response was underwhelming. In the early years, it wasn’t a workplace strip. It was about Dilbert’s life in general. He just happened to have a job. I was surprised to learn, via my e-mail, that readers loved the relatively rare comics featuring Dilbert in the office. Personally, I didn’t think those were my best work. My ego told me to do it my way. My readers told me I was wrong.

What the hell do readers know? After all, they aren’t syndicated cartoonists, and I was, albeit in only a few dozen newspapers. But this time, fortunately, I ignored my ego, changed the focus of the strip to workplace humor, and it took off.

Recently I was reminded of this as I watched two young people allow their egos to drive them over career cliffs. I know they feel good about their decisions, just as I did when I turned down the gopher job.

I’ve come to call this ego-driven behavior the “loser decision.” I don’t mean it as an insult.  It’s an objective fact that life often presents us with choices where the comfortable decision leads nowhere and one that threatens your ego has all the potential in the world.

You need a healthy ego to endure the abuse that comes with any sort of success. The trick is to think of your ego as your goofy best friend who lends moral support but doesn’t know shit.

Has your ego ever driven you off a cliff?

Comments

[Rose Alexander]

But if you'd taken the job, there never would have been a Dilbert strip, and everyone would be a lot sadder.

[Henry]

Your words really slap me in the face, though there are people who had advised me the same but doesn't have the same effect as yours.

I always look up to those white collar people, lawyers, accountants, consultants. I find them to be in glamorous position, as deductively, they are brainy since they're those few who are accepted in a tightly competitive position. Salary-wise, high enough to support a family of 3-4.

While I always view that my job to be too easy, exploiting people without using much thought (no brainer) and I am trading vehicle spare parts that deal with mostly less brainy people (in my country that is), basically not as fanciful as white collars workers. However, the earning is more than the average white collar workers, more than enough to pay for 6 adults to vacation once-twice a year overseas.

I couldn't pinpoint till after reading your blog why is it that I look down on my job and thus myself, have no self confidence when meeting with white collar people. I guess as you said it, it all comes down to ego. Most people measure success in terms of financial accumulation, and since this business of mine results in a good one, guess I need to endure the abuse & my ego, in order to reach the bigger goal. Though it will be easier said than done, time heals or rather convinces in this particular case.

There's a Chinese saying 'every position results in a scholar', iow. there is 'high' job nor 'low' job as each job is different and will produce x-factor as long as you excel in it.

[Random]

I did the opposite. I was flying small planes on ad-hoc charter, for a company with one aircraft.

Fun work, but pay isn't as good as flying larger aircraft, and a lot of my friends were getting into shiny jets or at least large passenger turboprops. With my experience I could have followed them, there are plenty of jobs around, and my ego said to do that. However I have a habit of going with the flow, and liked the company, and got on very well with the boss, so I stayed.

A year later we are about to get our 5th and largest aircraft (still fairly small) and I have just been made chief pilot. Pay is going up rapidly, and the company is now looking at getting aircraft the same size as my friends fly.

[Sean]

Well , i cant say this becos i hav taken a similar decision in my life ...being an Engineer i switched from
and outsourcing compnay to software firm ( on a lower pay ,
and that too after doing my Masters ( not to mention i spent huge amount on it ) and as soon as i left mu previous compnay my colleagues who chipped in as my replacemnet got promoted as Team leads ...
Well i dnt wheter my decision is wrong or right , Any practical decision making person wud say i did a mistake but i think i m more happy ...
Still keeping my fingers crossed ..
:)

[I Wish I Knew What To Do]

I haven't driven off the cliff yet but am worried that I'm on my way. In my office, I'm essential for daily operations and am the go-to guy for everything. I've been here longer than 85% of the department (almost 4 years) and am a manager in that I provide leadership to my colleagues. However, I have not been promoted while new hires off the street are given the title of "Manager" as incentive to join us. I don't care about the title but I do care about the additional vacation time and higher bonus cap. I may resign a great job (good pay, good benefits, very comfortable here, and get to surf the web at my pleasure) simply because I believe the only way to move up is to leave. Do I even NEED to move up if I'm doing alright? Is it just my ego and resentment? Or am I being left behind because I'm not taking assertive action? I don't know.

What I do know is that this is my second career in my life so far and I expect to have two, possibly three more, before I die. Is it time for change?

This Sunday Dilbert really hit home for me: http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/images/dilbert2007071149645.jpg

[wizofod]

1. To respond first to the direct question:
a) I trashed my college education, scholarships and all, because I perceived then that it was nurturing vast numbers of young people in the arts of forgery, falsehood, and prostitution. I wanted everyone to reject this model--I wanted people to "fail", as I "failed" all my courses, and cause thereby the machine itself to grind to a halt. I don't regret this or any other of my decisions in life; I made the best, best-considered choice at the time that I could. HOWEVER, eventually I came to several negations of my actions:
Penn State and America in general were much more than my sweeping pronouncements described;
plenty of good things and good people resulted from this very system;
plenty of good things existed in it for me and I would have served myself better to have searched more for them. However, I was badly impeded by going through that era in a clinical depression.
b) I actively resisted the Viet Nam war and, instead of accepting enlistment in the Air Force or National Guard or any of the easy-way-out alternatives, refused to report for induction. This foreclosed numerous alternatives and advantages in my life, as I clearly saw it would.
c) At the age of 35, when being invited to be a self-employed computer consultant in the occupation I was pretty good at (and still enjoy) in a major city, I chose instead to relocate to Northern New England (Maine), where the only employment in that field turned out to be in a suffocating bureaucracy. It was a Dilbert-land (how often Dilbert has given me uproarious, aching laughter!) where I got only two small, incremental promotions over the next twenty years--I never again had the scope of operation, independence, or respect I left behind. HOWEVER, I recognized:
that in the city I was exhausting myself. I felt vaguely uncomfortable, as though I had been holding my breath
AND ON THE PLUS SIDE
this job was a 9-to-5. Except for being on call--those 3 a.m. jangles in January--when I left work, I left work.
Thus I had time to be father to my children. I loved that. EXCELLENT result.
I made enough money to live on. Mud was all around us, and in our house. No big deal; we lived on a farm; mud and manure. I drove a Dodge Colt, then a couple Ford Escorts--all coming to me after 100,000 miles. We did forego (forewent?) other things; I never felt aggrieved for not having them. We ate well and had plenty of firewood every winter. I'd say we had lots of things. Books, banjos, bikes, stereo, TV, videos, computers.
I had security. Union representation. I wasn't going to get ahead, but I wasn't going to be fired, and workplace ego noises were damped so people worked without those shrieking stresses.
THUS I had enough time and mental energy so that I pursued my truest self: at six o'clock in the mornings, sometimes five o'clock, and on weekends, I wrote. I wrote novels and short stories.
Moreover, I lived a more complete life. I participated in affairs of my union, my town, my church, my kids' schools. I planted a small apple orchard. I had plenty of honest-to-god farm work.

2. Let's leave behind this loser / winner metaphor; it's an artifact of a toxic mindset, and I see its poisonous traces all through our gray matter. Bogus Darwinian self-justifications advanced by sociopaths. Who wins WHAT? Money? Getting more of anything than we must give?, is that the measure we're using? People, life's about living in co-operation. Marriage. Children. Our children's friends, our families--cousins, aunts, uncles, all that. Our good earth and all those other earthlings: elephants, birds, bees, bugs. Don't allow yourself to be economically atomized.

3. I see that some people have regretted telling the truth. Wow. I hesitate to judge anyone "wrong" (excepting felonious acts), but regretting truth... is wrong. Regret vehemence instead; regret harshness; regret lack of tact; ask yourself if you might have made your point more skillfully--these social nuances are often mistaken for untruthfulness, by people having lacked grace in some encounter. (And by the way, expressing yourself without respect toward another--using hatred, scorn, contempt--is commonly mistaken for truthfulness.) Man! When we believe that we must always conceal truth, or that we live in dense steamy forests of falsehoods supported by shadowy power itself... we have delivered ourselves to our enemy.

4. Returning to the original fable: I believe Scott Adams made correct decisions in both cases. First, you shied away from something "against your nature." Often of course we must do things not to our liking; discipline requires of us; here however we're discussing a discretionary junction in life. If you now wish you'd been that other person, then yes your ego misguided you; if you like being the creator of Dilbert, it did well. In the matter of accepting guidance from outer sources--there's no real contradiction to the former situation; it's a false dichotomy. I have no way of knowing how many artists have never accepted feedback about their work; I do know that most, do. Editors have often improved writers' work. Editors have also ruined work. I think in this particular instance, you were being offered a chance to connect to a broader audience (readers liked one situation better), and you found that more desirable than remaining in your small niche. No tragedy there. Of course you were just tossing out your blog--we value speed so much, whereas this response has taken me half a morning (and five to zero people may read it).

All this keen perspicuity come to you from someone who has made all the "wrong" decisions. A "loser" that is, another of millions of American artists, who's never published a novel, only some 20-odd stories, and never in a publication with as much as 5000 readers. But likely your response won't consider those matters. More likely you'll simply consider, "Does this make sense? Is this right?"

That's how it ought to be.

--Tom Yori, wizofod

[Dyakson]

I should have included this in my first reply. To the people saying 'Well Scott is a multimillionaire cartoonist, so that early career choice is moot':

In a parallel universe where Scott /doesn't/ have the skills and good fortune to become a professional cartoonist, he'd either still be stuck in a cubicle somewhere (if he snubs the gopher job out of pride) or owning his own bank (if he accepts the gopher job and jumps up the promotion ladder). For those of us who won't become multimillionaire cartoonists, the gopher/no-gopher choice isn't a moot point!

[by the way: ego = Ratbert = rodent = gopher]

[Dyakson]

Nice to see a post I can wholeheartedly agree with! I wonder, are 'ego' and 'pride' equivalent terms?

Coincidentally, Eric Hacke (the 25th reply) seems to have stolen my career. I'm an aerospace engineering student with a taste for coding and aspirations of working in simulation development...

[Warbert]

2 Years ago I was offered a similar position to Scott's heres the details
I had just turned 22 and was working in Cable television and Sales ( see also customer service rep with a specialty in sales). So My manager walked into my cube and asked if we could have a chat down in the boardroom. First thing that comes to mind is "uh oh what did i do wrong second thing is huh?) anyway in the board room is sitting the CEO of the company I work for and The regional VP in charge of sales. My manager then walks out leaving me with these very powerful men in really dark suits. They proceed to go over my sales numbers from the time i had been with the company ( 2 years prior) to the present time ( 2 years ago) Now during this time i had come to the attention of the CEO /president of the company who arranged this meeting. So the CEO looks at me and then looks at the numbers. He sits there and repeats this motion for 5 minutes ( at this point i think some how i stepped in some VERY deep $#!+) then the CEO speaks " how would you like to come to Philadelphia and be my personal assistant? " Now after weighing it in my mind ( give up $25.75 per hour for 18.00 per hour and give up my commissions) I told him thanks but no thanks. He offered me a private office and twice my yearly salary. My ego got in the way and said this has got to be too good to be true. I say no again. he CEO then tells me I am making a huge mistake. Long story shortened I took a different job ( one which seemed better but was much worse) Now my uddy who was offered the job was just named Acting regonal VP for the West Coast All because he took the job i turned down Man am i ever pissed

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[Matt]

My first job offer out of school. Instead of taking the offer from my mentor which would have taken me from Nextel to Marriott and probably be big time by now, I chose to run a department at a small company. I ended up leaving the small company 3 months later.

[Sprezzatura]

I had one, although what impact it had on my long-term career is unclear.

I was working as the assistant manager of a retail store, and was approached about becoming the 2nd assistant manager at an Apple store that was about to open down the street. I turned it down, as the switch would have meant both a salary cut and less responsibility that the job I already had.

I went back to school some 6 months later, and am in a different career now, but sometimes I wonder whether turning down the gig at Apple really was the right choice.

[Clumpy]

Depends. I preferred Dilbert when it was still a "loser comic".

It depends on what you're going for. If "winning" (in terms of commercial success) is your only goal, then by all means make a commercial decision at the expense of some personal involvement in your work. There's no negative connotation to giving people what they say they want.

If your work loses a little soul and turns into a focused product, you'll make money. But your work loses a little soul and personal imprint.

[sunflower]

Yep, lost custody of my children due to my stupid arrogance. Took years to reverse that, and I'll never be so arrogant again.

[Armando Esteban]

Yes

[Alice in Wonderland]

I've made several that were more in keeping with my conscience than my ego. I don't regret them since I didn't like either job anyway, and had no trouble getting a new one. Sometimes an organization/person is just evil and needs to be outed. I'd do it again.

[Simon Allen (UK)]

Before I tell you of a bad decision I can say that it got me out of a job that I did not want - except financially!!! This bad decision cost me such a bundle of money. Did I subconsciously WANT to get out of the job? No, I wanted to see it through and every time I have thought about this in the following 14 years, I know I made the wrong decision.

I told the truth.

There was one guy in the department, a manager, that was making everyone's life a misery and hindering development of projects. All (seriously - all) of the staff hated him and his own manager 'dissed' him in private.

After three months of hesitating, I decided to try and fix the problem and the result was constructive dismissal. I did not take them to tribunal as I knew they would win. I knew that because I sought the advice of an old timer and he said that, what was happening to me, had happened many times to trouble makers. I should have spoken to the old timer first!

The company was (and is) and international name, known in almost every household in the industrialised world and I am sure that this kind of thing happens every day in many companies around the world.

Was it ego that made me want to tell the truth instead of staying in my cubicle with Wally?

[alexei]

i agree with ur ego tho, my fav strips were the ones back at dilberts house, loved them, but i guess if i had ever worked a day in my life id like the office ones more than i do.

[Stoned Lion]

Many years ago, when I was 18 yrs old I worked for a summer for an older gentleman who owned a small collection of lemonade stands, like you see at the county fair. It was easy work and he paid well. But it was strictly a seasonal business as he operated in the midwest and didn't have any desire to work more than a couple of states away from his home.

Towards the end of the summer he told me that his health was declining and he didn't think he had more than a season or two left in him working the county fair circuit. He told me that he could see I had a good head for the business and ambition to expand it. He offered to sell me the business, lock, stock and barrel and he would finance it.

I turned him down without even giving it much thought. I was such a fool. This was a man who lived quite well selling lemonade 4 months a year! I am in my 40's now and mentally kick myself when I think of how short sighted I was.

[James]

I think it's pretty random... just because the move worked out for one guy doesn't mean it would have worked out for you. Do you really wish you had become an executive? I suspect you'd much rather me doing Dilbert. Your decision worked out as well as any could hope for; just not the way you expected.

[T.G.]

I had an experience like the one described by gr8hands, well, worst, my big stupid ego made me fall twice, and lost a lot, and potentially, lost more. But, you never know how it will end otherwise, in your story he made him Vice President, maybe it woulnd't make you that.
I ever think that i am what i am because me and what i did and happened to me, if not, it wont be me, so, lets go on, and live happy with what i have and can do, that is far more than with what i started in this life.
Somehow, this post cheered me up. Thanks.

[Scott]

When I was in college I was already working at a bank part-time and my advisor told me I should look into an internship at the same bank. I said "Why would I want an internship when I already am an employee there?" Stupid mistake, years later I found out that interns get shot up the corporate ladder much faster because they get better assignments. I might have owned my own bank by now too.

[Theresa]

[Boring comment on free will deleted -- Scott]

[Dalebert]

I once broke up with a nearly perfect guy because he didn't clean under his foreskin very well. Wait, I'm not sure if that's topical...

[Neighbor Dave]

I must defer to Dogbert:

"Never listen to your customers. They were stupid enough to buy your product, so they have no credibility."

N.D.

[gr8hands]

Scott,

I've had exactly the opposite experience. I turned down a great job in order to be the gopher for a powerful man of industry -- he told me that he was going to personally groom and mentor me for a top management job, perhaps even replacing him when he retired.

It turned out that all he wanted was a male secretary who wouldn't be intimidated by anyone trying to get in to see him. No "grooming," no mentoring, no promotion, no future.

Taking that job was a useful learning experience in not believing everything you're promised.

[passerby]

re RI_Reds and your 'loser descision' friend. Maybe he just doesn't trust you enough to take the risk. Does he have a wife and children to support? Maybe he is concerned that if he gave up his job for your 100k, your business could go bust in a month and then he'd be well stuck. Nearly happened to me. A friend offered me a job at a business he was starting with 50% pay rise. I turned it down. His business plan fell through within months so right descision for me. I'm sure you think your business is established and secure but presumably your friend doesn't think so.

[ScottRC]

I just sent the syndicates a submission for a comic strip that I'm really proud of and could see myself doing happily for the rest of my life. As I await their response, I'm scrounging for food - waiting for the temp agency to send me on yet another dismal assignment - and scrambling to figure out how the hell I'm going to pay next month's rent.

A few years ago I sent the syndicates a comic strip about two cute little kids who ran around saying and doing cute little things. I got the usual form rejection letters, but one syndicate (yours, actually) gave me a nibble: they said if I sent more samples that focussed a little more on one cute little kid and less on the other, maybe we could talk.

At first I was elated. This was the letter I'd been hoping to get for years.

Then I took another look at that cute little kid. I imagined having to come up with cute little things for her to say and do, day after day. After day. After day. After day ...

I decided I'd rather gouge my eyes out and chop off my hands.

I sent them a batch of strips in which the cute little kid did all kinds of un-cute, horrible things - like beating the crap out of people and throwing dogs off the roofs of buildings. The editor promptly responded with a one-sentence letter: "This isn't what we had in mind."

She didn't say, "Forget it - never contact us again, you sadistic fool." It now seems obvious to me that she left the door open. But I didn't send her anything more; I just decided that that was the end of that.

It was a big-time loser decision. I could have leveraged the editor's attention to show off other, better ideas. But I didn't. My stupid ego closed me off to an opportunity that might have at least gotten my foot in the door.

I don't like struggling to get by and I'm sick of doing menial work to pay the bills. But it makes me happy to know that I've grown as a cartoonist and that I'm (finally) writing and drawing stuff that I don't think sucks.

Maybe I'll get another nibble from one of the syndicates. Maybe I won't. Maybe I'm a loser; I sure feel like it a lot of the time. But I'm optimistic enough to postpone that judgment until I'm on my deathbed. And even then, maybe with my dying breath I'll pass on words of wisdom to an aspiring young cartoonist that will make him rich and famous.

"Draw ... a ... cute little kid ... saying ... and doing ... cute little things."

Thanks for the post. I love this blog.

[Amit]

Scott before i move to the "ego"ism of mine, let me jot down few observations of mine. First is this post is not something that can be tagged as "General Nonsense"; pretty non "Scott Adam"ish. Second was "the place where internet don't shine" some saintly hole you spent time reevaluating the "did"s of yours?

Anyways about my ego, i fear him the most. I see him standing in my path and i take a U turn. So i have never dodged it neither have i surrendered to it. And this behavior always threw me down the cliff. But like Wile E. Coyote from road runner cartoon i came back to be thrown down again :D

[T Simic]

I declined a scholarship once cos my ego wouldn't let me take what I saw as charity.

Idiot, that's who I am.

[Dom]

I read somewhere that it take a minimum of 6 months to know retrospectively whether you were happy or not in any given situation.

For example, it's not until you break-up with someone/leave a job/etc and wait 6 or more months that you can see that you were never really happy at all (as opposed to just at the point where you decided to quit).

So if time is such a screwy thing for us humans is it any wonder that we make poor decisions? We don't know we are unhappy when we are unhappy....

[Shigeru Miyamoto]

Well, admittedly, I could have created Sonic The Hedgehog.

I am, however, at that point in my life where I can accept that my contribution will just be the plumber.

[NW]

My ego doesn't allow me to look back, thus I never know what could've been...

[Jim]

My career would make a lemming blush.

[Erich]

No, but my depression grabbed the wheel a few times.

[solak]

I'm not sure this is ego-driven, or just another ignorance-driven scenario that sent my career off-a-cliff:

Some time ago, my whole (couple-dozen) department was laid off in a budget cut. During the half year that the money from my severance (plus a few short contract jobs) lasted, I got no real job offers. Then, within one week, I got two offers. The money for either was enough to continue a similar lifestyle.

The first one was maintaining and further developing a system that I had used before, and that user-level familiarity would bring a lot to the development team. Furthermore, that company had gotten that project from my former company, so if I took that job my years of service would continue as if I had transferred along with that project rather than starting at zero.

The second job offer was to develop a new system that could advance the state of the art, if not in the whole industry, at least for this product type. It would be a great accomplishment and would make it much easier for end-users to customize how they used these products.

I took the second one as the "once in a lifetime" opportunity that must not be missed. We took a couple of team business trips to scope out whether any collaborating companies had anything to give us a leg up on the project. There were some good ones, but nothing near to what we wanted to make. Then my manager assigned me to help out on various "related projects" to get me familiar with the existing products. After several months, I became frustrated that we'd made no real advancement on my intended goal. I had to ask around to discover that it was actually cancelled. Apparently, it would have competed with too many of our direct customers whose business was to customize our product for the end users.

Let's count the "duh!"s: (1) They couldn't just tell me that they'd cancelled it? (2) Didn't they realize this conflict (before they hired me) when they proposed the project? (3) We couldn't collaborate with those guys to make everyone's life easier? (4) I actually believed that these "related projects" were the best way to lead into my special project?

Yes, I learned a lot that year. It's not just the particular job they're offering that matters, it's the context in which it will be done.

How does one avoid making mistakes? Through experience.
How does one get experience? By making mistakes.

[Andy]

In the corporate world I frequently find my self telling superiors just what I think - somtimes shocking myself to hear me say what I say.

I frequently find myself taking new jobs that are infinatly more facinating than the previous.

Funny - I was between jobs & turning down an offer that didn't sound like a lot of fun - they must of thought I was a tough negociater - the offer got too good to refuse. Made good friends there too.

I don't call it ego - more destany. Early in my career a psychic told my sister that I would move through three career changes, and that I would do very well in each phase. In retrospect - perhapse I owe my sisters psychic a little more respect than I had previously considered.

[LeeBee]

Sometimes it isn't ego, it your principles. You have to live by your principles, unless you are car salesman. They don't have principles.

[ramki]

"The trick is to think of your ego as your goofy best friend who lends moral support but doesn’t know shit."

Thanks Scott - this is probably the best advice I have ever got on managing my ego... hope I can use it.

And in case I hadn't said it before - THANKS FOR BLOGGING!! YOU ROCK!!

[Andi]

Scott, why do you keep ending your posts with a question? It sounds like you're begging for comments. You'll get a ton anyway - let people come up with their own topics!

[Enlightenment]

I'm amazed at the number of idiot middle managers out in the business world. If a company can keep on going without the manager, then most likely they are just dead-wood and not needed!

The best thing about dumb-ass managers is they eventually sh*t on the best people one too many times to push them to finally leave and get a better job. Thank you a$$hole for pushing me to leave, because I get paid more money at a better job and don't have to put up with your LOSER ass anymore!

[snogfest hosebeast]

when I was earning great money contracting but in reality surfing 90% of the time, we had some high powered head office exec come and ask why our morale as so low.
I dared him to fire me. In from of about 30 people.
I was still there getting UKP50 per hour 3 years later; he probably owns his own telco.

[WCE]

I agree that most losers become losers from letting their egos get in the way, but I'd have to say that it's seldom one decision that makes a person into a loser, it's usually hundreds, all bad.

The guys I went to high school with who became losers started out making bad calls early and consistently. Often it was a variation on whether something was worth learning or not, their usual decision being that if it wasn't going to be on the final, then it really wasn't worth bothering to learn. Of course, the stuff that *was* going to be on the final usually required you to understand the stuff that *wasn't*, so these guys routinely flunked test after test, final after final, and barely graduated, only as a consequence the school already being sick-to-death of having them around.

Then they got their girlfriends pregnant because they didn't like wearing condoms and/or counted on their girlfriends to take the pill regularly, even though it was in their best interest to get pregnant and trap the guy. (Losers tend to marry each other, another point worth discussing some other time.)

Then, at the job, they didn't want people to think that they actually *needed* the work, which they felt was beneath them anyway, so they'd have to tell the boss where he could stick his job, figuring this made them a legend amongst their co-workers. Usually it just made them out of work with a pregnant wife and kids.

At some point insurance fraud starts looking like the smart way out of the rat-race, so they get in an accident and hurt their back and sue their employers, who usually cough up just enough money to get them completely out of the job market.

Long hours at home with the wife and kids and nothing else better to do with the time leads to booze and pain pills (if you found a doctor willing to say you had a bad back, then he'd be obligated to write you prescriptions).

Sooner or later the wife gets sick-to-death of having him under-foot, so she finds some other loser at her day job to shack up with, and sooner or later he figures that out and beats her up and gets his butt kicked by the new guy she's moving in with.

Restraining orders follow.

At some point, the loser gets depressed and starts wondering *which* decision he made caused him to end up like this.

And if you tried to explain it to him, he'd just argue with you.

[Cedric]

Good advice for anyone who chooses to follow it... oh but wait... no one has a choice... there's no free will... so the whole point is moot and irrelevant. You never had a choice back at the bank and you never had a choice with your comic strip. Everything just is. That's life.

[Kavi Chokshi]

I completely agree with Jonathan on the ego/pride/self of this issue. The self is more important than the opinion of the masses.

Quoted from Jonathan

"

So let me get this straight. The advice is to swallow your pride and cave? I know that excessive amounts of pride can be unhealthy but seriously, you consider caving in to the masses who demanded something you didn't even think was all that good was a good decision?

I know I'm coming off as some kind of arrogant, entitled "artiste" (e for emphasis on the pronunciation) but there is something to be said about dignity and holding your ground even if it isn't the best financial decision.

Turning down the gopher job so that you could have the pride of "management" may not be the best example. I think that was a case of lack of knowledge more so than too much ego. You didn't know what the gopher job could lead to.

However, in the case of Dilbert, no matter how much I revel in the ultimate result, I think giving up drawing strips that you thought were good simply because others didn't like it isn't a very good motivator for others.

*Sometimes* doing what you think is best, consequences be damned, is the best decision. Even if it makes you a "loser".

"

[rd]

ego as my bestest friend?
ok, i'll be your scheherazade for tonight so to speak
but it's not carrier related
so a few years ago one of our top businessmen was doing his business tour in japan and he passed through the city where i resided at that time and i was asked to translate for him, which i did for 2 days
in the evening there comes a phone call from him saying that he is like charmed and would like to fly with me to tokyo, he'll reserve the presidential suite etc (that spring our prez happened to visit japan)
i was like 1. ha? how it is like possible, i know you only 2 days 2. flattered 3. angry - who he thinks i am 4. in empathy and solidarity with his wife 5. feeling betrayed - i was feeling respect for him for that he seems very professional and for all he is doing for his corp and the country and now look at him etc
so i hung up
this is the tale which i'll tell to my future grandkids,if there will be of course any, as an example of their grandma's former charms and virtue
but sometimes i wonder what if they'll prefer to ask how was the actual prez suite and not my feelings of what did not happen
or that i could be like a top mistress instead of counting cells for my invasion assays something
which is unrealistic - coz our girls are getting younger and prettier and like multiplying each year, tough competition
so only possibly regretful thing left is
as if i could have seen the presidential suite?

[Kavi Chokshi]

I completely agree with Jonathan on the ego/pride/self of this issue. The self is more important than the opinion of the masses.

Quoted from Jonathan

"

So let me get this straight. The advice is to swallow your pride and cave? I know that excessive amounts of pride can be unhealthy but seriously, you consider caving in to the masses who demanded something you didn't even think was all that good was a good decision?

I know I'm coming off as some kind of arrogant, entitled "artiste" (e for emphasis on the pronunciation) but there is something to be said about dignity and holding your ground even if it isn't the best financial decision.

Turning down the gopher job so that you could have the pride of "management" may not be the best example. I think that was a case of lack of knowledge more so than too much ego. You didn't know what the gopher job could lead to.

However, in the case of Dilbert, no matter how much I revel in the ultimate result, I think giving up drawing strips that you thought were good simply because others didn't like it isn't a very good motivator for others.

*Sometimes* doing what you think is best, consequences be damned, is the best decision. Even if it makes you a "loser".

"

[westsan]

Oftentimes the "loser decision" is rationalized in retrospect. Without rationalizing we would not be able to live with ourselves.

[Hammertyme]

However, in the case of Dilbert, no matter how much I revel in the ultimate result, I think giving up drawing strips that you thought were good simply because others didn't like it isn't a very good motivator for others.

*Sometimes* doing what you think is best, consequences be damned, is the best decision. Even if it makes you a "loser".
------------------------------------------------------

Right, he should stick to what he liked not make a product that sells.

Tell that to the "Cartoonists" who only post on deviant art and who want to sell, but never will.

[TasTigger]

Thanks for this post. It's very timely for me, as I am grappling with such a decision at the moment. I am coming to the end of a contract with a good employer, with no certainty of an extension. The question is do I opt for a lower-ranked position so that I can stay on with this organisation, or aim for something more prestigious in another industry?

My initial instinct/ego told me to follow the path of greater prestige. However, I am now starting to wonder if it might not be such a bad idea to take a slight backward step. The benefit of doing this would be that I would gain some broader experiences in the industry I am in and, hopefully, increase my prospects for promotion in the long-term with my current employer. In the end, the decision may be out of my hands.

[brian]

all those girls i didn't ask for a date

not leaving for a better job when the tech boom was at its highest.

they haunt me every day.

[brian]

all those girls i didn't ask for a date

not leaving for a better job when the tech boom was at its highest.

they haunt me every day.

[Jason Allen]

I turned down several job offers for the same position in the company I work for. Had I taken them, I /could/ have been much better off than I am now. Of course, it was a high stress job dealing with some untrustworthy people. I could have lost my job or quit in disgust like the last four people in the same position.

I don't have a career, I have a string of jobs. I focus solely on the job I have until I am the best at it or nearly so. Only then will I consider something else. That's probably why I'll never be considered (or consider myself) "management material."

I wouldn't have been offered the gopher as career stepping stone. I would have been tempted to take it as just a gopher job, though. I enjoy learning new skills and need a little variety in my job.

[Dick]

Do you feel the same way about ethics and morality as you do about ego? In hindsight, would you turn down that same boss today if he was also gay and "other services" were assumed to be part of that job?

[jonas-GER-]

..Great read so far, nearly enough for a few chapters.
In my opinion it`s not about regrets or living in the past but to be able to assess and analyze own mistakes even after a very long time. I personally did have, in Germany we say "Ah-Ha-Effect", freely translated "..duh".
In earlier years I was politically active in the youth organisation of current co-ruling party in Germany, the CDU, in the state of Hessia. Without a car of my own, the state-wide meetings were a logistical pain and I tried to minimize them or just did not go, I thought I did not have to. On the contrary, being computer savvy and all, I wrote position papers about the use of teleconferencing and online collaboration using BBSes, in order to find an alternative to all those meetings, 3-4 times a month. And I thought I was being avantgardistic (english word?)...
Now, many former political "friends" held offices, paid handsomely, made strong political careers, some will make it into the federal cabinet in 10 odd years.
What I did not see back then: All those meetings did not serve just the purpose to talk about some stupid position papers that nobody would read anyways - it was all only about networking, forging coalitions, trading allegiances.
I always thougt - I am too cool to sit in a train for hours at length, I can do without it. Well, I had fun back then, but they are elected officals now.

[doodaddy]

Thanks Scott! I've felt guilty reading your blog because, when I was back in grad school and you started creating almost all office-oriented comics, I wrote you and begged you to go back to the dinosaur and ratbert. I gave you the advice that it was much funnier and you were screwing up.

Now I see you agreed, and that we were both wrong from the point of commercial success.

Hey, have you considered writing a web comic without the interest of such commercial success? I really do miss that sneaker wearing dinosaur and those elbonians.

[jeremy]

I'd be willing to speculate that in the case of the
anthropologist/Script-girl with a propensity for detail and strong communication skills, that there is an 83% chance that the two things she is really good at are not the skills Scott listed... Although oral aptitude is probably still a large player in the equation.

I work with a girl who has a degree in Liberal Arts and the business skills of Paris Hilton's Chihuahua however, her presentations are phenomenal due to her near perfect ability to perform the Jedi mind trick every time she bends over.

Unfortunately my superior dexterity impedes me from dropping my pencil repeatedly when I present my data, and as such, Thong-zilla always gets a bigger crowd response than I do.

I'm sure Tinker Bell will always be able to find a job in the career of her choice, but I think her belief that the fifth letter in the alphabet is Double-D will at some point cap her career advancement.

I'm a firm believer that we all rise to our point of incompetence and that's where we stay (sad but overwhelmingly true) and that's where I think it all evens out. The oral anthropologist may always enjoy a good salary on her superfluous career path, but I assume her climb up the corporate ladder will amount to little more than an occasional bounce on the CEO's pogo-stick.

Looks and social skills vs. technical aptitude and work ethic. One's the cake and one's the icing, I'm just not entirely sure which is which.

PS- While the other 98% of us nod in agreement, 2% of people that read this may take offence to it. If you are one of these blessed select few, I would like to personally apologize to you over dinner and drinks at my place. Email me at: smoke’nHotCoworker@NotSoHotMale.com

-jeremy

[Jimboni]

My personal ego cliff trip was 5 years ago when I decided to send the president of my company(who was also the former owner who clearly, in retrospect, didn't give a crap if anyone left) a letter asking for more freedom and responsibility because I couldn't stand working for my PHB. Needless to say, I was out the door at the end of the day. I have since become quite successful in a field that doesn't make me want to wash 53 times a day to get the icky feeling off.

[Joe]

One has to be humble, it is true. But if you had taken that bank job, the world would have never received Dilbert and would therefore be a darker place.

[Kenny]

There's the "lack of an ego" loser decision as well:

Not going for something and missing out on excellent opportunities because you don't have the confidense ("ego") to go for it. This has been my bread and butter...

[vasco]

Ohh
yess!

My ego drives me all the time off
the cliff...
:D

---------------------
http://href.hu/x/2sv1

[Jonathan]

So let me get this straight. The advice is to swallow your pride and cave? I know that excessive amounts of pride can be unhealthy but seriously, you consider caving in to the masses who demanded something you didn't even think was all that good was a good decision?

I know I'm coming off as some kind of arrogant, entitled "artiste" (e for emphasis on the pronunciation) but there is something to be said about dignity and holding your ground even if it isn't the best financial decision.

Turning down the gopher job so that you could have the pride of "management" may not be the best example. I think that was a case of lack of knowledge more so than too much ego. You didn't know what the gopher job could lead to.

However, in the case of Dilbert, no matter how much I revel in the ultimate result, I think giving up drawing strips that you thought were good simply because others didn't like it isn't a very good motivator for others.

*Sometimes* doing what you think is best, consequences be damned, is the best decision. Even if it makes you a "loser".

[One Man]

You're 100% right. Saying no to a boss is career poison. Unless you can't do the job...DO IT!

One Man. One Year. $100,000 online. So I can let readers guide me instead of my boss.
http://www.oneyeargoal.com

[wally]

This reminds me of advice I just gave to my 14 year old son.
He's becoming a good guitarist, and he was complaining about
having to show his bass player friends their parts. I said
at his level he should expect to do that. And I said in some
situations you might want to just go ahead and play bass.

And then I gave him this career advice. I said if you
ever have a chance to be in a band with like John Lennon
and George Harrison, but you have to switch to bass to be in the band, I'd say go for it.

[wally]

This reminds me of advice I just gave to my 14 year old son.
He's becoming a good guitarist, and he was complaining about
having to show his bass player friends their parts. I said
at his level he should expect to do that. And I said in some
situations you might want to just go ahead and play bass.

And then I gave him this career advice. I said if you
ever have a chance to be in a band with like John Lennon
and George Harrison, but you have to switch to bass to be in the band, I'd say go for it.

[dewfish]

stressing over past mistakes is also a loser decision. Do the things you can do now instead of worrying about the things you could, would, or should have done.

[Andrew]

With every single woman I ever dated...

[grendel]

My loser decision not to quit when I should have.

To speed up my graduation, I took the first work opportunity I got to do my thesis. After a couple of weeks it was clear that the work was different from what was described in the interview, and It was going to be hell working for a complete asshole. Instead of quiting, I toughed it through to the end and finished my work and my thesis. Now that it is all over and I have recovered my mental health, all should be good. Right?

No. For one thing, the work experience I got and my thesis subject are way too esoteric to be considered work experience in any other field. Finding work would probably be easier if I was still just a student. All in all, the whole thing is a resume stain. My ego did not allow me to be a quitter, when I should have listened my gut, and quit as soon as possible and find something else.

Before this ordeal, I was once in a similar situation in a completely different context. Back then I had no misplace sense of loyalty or bride, and immediately quit what I sensed was bad for me. That turned out to be the best decision of my life.

The life lesson I have learned is: Fail-fast, then recover and redirect. The trick of course is to know when you are on a painful wrong path and when you are just working hard for great rewards.

[Dan]

About a decade ago, I was offered a gig that would have doubled my pay and given me an equity stake in a start-up that was building an anti-spam product. I declined because I felt that making money off fighting spam would lead to doing a half-assed job of it, so as not to destroy the revenue stream entirely. Of course, a few years later the start-up got bought for crazy amounts of money, so whoever did get that equity stake is probably a millionaire now.

Live and learn.

[Mister R]

Just a note to authors of most comments. You acknowledged that it was a loser decision, hence you've put your ego out of the way. Done.

[WhatThe]

In my early 30's I made a decision based on my ego; my confidence that I could fix anything.

5 years later we got divorced. Lesson learned!

[Jason]

So far every time my ego has gotten in the way, I've gotten a better job in one or two weeks. I've messed up my work life doing other stupid things, like school for 7 years, or not working for a year and a half..

[minister of silly walks]

> Has your ego ever driven you off a cliff?

Off a cliff, into a brick wall, down the drain, up the creek, etc.

You name it, my ego has driven me there.

[Gabe]

My ego doesn't make mistakes like that.

Its bigger and better than the other egos, but I try not to get a swelled head about it.

[car free since '93]

interesting that you deleted a post for being boring, when there are so many others to choose from. It must have been unbearable, so thank you.

[ADW]

You're in good company:

I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

Galileo

things mostly went down hill from there for him...

Question is, how rational is your ego?

[Stomper]

The basketball story reminds me of my sister's (arguably relevant) experience. She was already 6 feet tall as a sophomore, when my high school decided to come out of the Dark Ages and encourage girl's sports. She was fairly athletic, and not afraid of a little shoving (two older brothers, you know) but had never had any opportunities to play basketball.

She made a poor showing at the Spring tryouts, and the boys' basketball coach cut her from the squad. Apparently, her height did not impress him.

When the new girls' basketball coach arrived the following Fall, she tried to get my sister to come out for the team anyway (she was probably unhappy with the boys' coach -- you can teach skills, but you can't teach a girl to grow tall). My sister's feelings were hurt, though, and her confidence was shaken, so she said, "No."

No long-term impact, though. She went on to get very good grades at a really good university, made a career, married, had some very smart, talented kids, and seems pretty happy. So not all ego-driven decisions will have observable impact.

--Stomper

[the man in the trout mask]

The trick is to know your ego as the creator of illusion - if you don't get too close to it you will move effortlessly without taking thought - you won't know when you're there because if you did then you wouldn't be there.

Incidentally,as the gopher moves up the career ladder does he get his own gopher?

"Yes,I am third gopher to the the most powerful gopher in the entire company"

[@Rob]

I call my ego the jackass. I stopped listening to it a couple of years ago. I've always wondered if there is a correlation between ego and niceness.

[lofi]

> You are a moist robot.

only in blog comments can you find answers to centuries old open questions in science and philosophy

extra points for using the word 'moist' in it also ;)

[Dave]

I loved college, and I was really smart. It wasn't suprising that I was in a position that usually required a degree by the middle of my sophmore year.

Pursuing a 4-year degree in my current field meant moving and giving up my high-paying job. Now, I have a wife, four kids, and the same A.S. degree I had over 10 years ago.

Ahh, regret.

[Bob Young]

Ego is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings...

[Billy B]

"Has your ego ever driven you off a cliff?"

Would I have known? I've lost a few jobs, went on to better things and other interesting journeys. It's no big deal.
Billy B

[Dave]

How's this:

I have a weakness for infomercials. So, shortly after I'd "left" college, I found myself with one of those real estate ones...fortunes in foreclosures, maybe? Can't remember. Read it, never actually did a thing with it. Couple months later I get a call at work. It's someone from the people who made the thing, asking if I'd like to be mentored with it, and then appear on a future commercial. I immediately said no thanks and hung up. I didn't even really think about it...my reaction was mostly out of embarrassment that infomercial people were calling me at work.

It did not occur to me until later that the people on the commercials are obviously all ones who have done well, so "mentoring" in this case quite likely would have been "artificially ensuring success", so I could have been the 19-year-old with a check for $50,000 and $1200 a month of residual income, etc, etc. My only comfort is that the guy on the ads got some uncomfortable legal attention a few years later, so I *might've* dodged a bullet. But I suspect I just dodged a large amount of easy money.

[eclecticdog]

I have no regrets as far as work is concerned. But I do regret those things that you know you should of done, but didn't for ego (or not). Things like:

-- studying hard in grade and high school and my early college years (smart enought to get Bs and As without studying, although not smart enough to pass a foreign language)

-- doing things I enjoyed, but I was put off by the opinion of others about my choices and skills

-- not asking out all those cute girls who were interested and liked me, but I lacked the self-confidence to do so

I still need to lite a fire under my butt these days. The last third of my life (50+) should be wonderful.

[pwkwsfi]

I did field service for a large OEM and rarely worked close to home. On the jobs that did keep me in my home state, I worked with a project manager in a job trailer with maybe one other engineer. During my first assignment I was the rookie so the PM assumed I was incapable of doing anything productive besides making coffee and cleaning old ink out of his injet printer. A year and a half later I had to work with the same PM, who still thought I was useless and kept me from learning and working on the actual work. At first I thought I needed to put forth a good impression by helping out but it became clear that the guy was a jerk and did not care to help me advance in my function. I tried the humilty route with this guy until my direct supervisor told me the PM thought I was basically useless and lazy (this affected my performance review, of course). With no parachute other than my ego I jumped, knowing that I would have to work with this guy every year and that brown-nosing would do nothing for me.

[Joao]

I guess it's scary to let things happen, as they can turn out as good or bad which is besides "success". For instance, when no one is thinking much, it's not going to be one the only smart guy with critical thinking who will make a change, right? More likely, you will forget to think things through.

Ego is healthy. Lack of ego is scary.

[XX EE]

My ego kept me from staying on as a grad student of my favorite math professor where I went for my BSEE. My ego was too large in the sense that it wanted me to get as far away from that school as quickly as I possibly could; my ego was too small in the sense that I didn't understand at the time just how outstanding my math skills are. I didn't think I'd have done well; ironically, especially with him as a mentor, I could not have gone wrong. It would also have helped if I had known at the time that there are some wonderful career choices (RESEARCH!) open to people with PhDs in math. As a result of that unfortunate, ego-driven decision, my ego is now doing battle with what I unaffectionately call Fubar U., a large-ish real estate university (not a research school ... not a teaching school ... just real estate) in our nation's capital. Fubar U, or F.U. for short, has frittered away the last two years of my life assuaging its own professor's Jabba-the-Hut-sized egos.

[RandomBoy]

I think you took the right decision. Perhaps you'd have made more money if you took the Gopher job, but with Dilbert you'll be remembered for all eternity.

[Edith]

I was able to suppress my ego once and it led me to a great job with excellent benefits and very nice pay increases.

I used to work as a supervisor at Union Oil in the QC lab. Boring work and not much chance of upward mobility. So I took a $500/month cut in pay (which was a lot at that time) and started in an entry level job in a utility. By entry level, I mean dirty grunt work!! I was promoted quickly into supervision and then a technical job. Now 22 years later (in 8 days!!), I'll be retiring at 55 with great benefits and a very nice retirement package.

Thank goodness I wasn't stuck on status and ego.

[Anonymous coward]

"Has your ego ever driven you off a cliff?"

More than once.

[Daviebert]

Ego has been a big helper. Ego is the little voice that says "you failed, mark it down, don't make the same mistake next time, let's try again."

Scott, it seems to have helped you. Instead of being a soulless corporate drone as the other guy probably became, you've got money, fame, and relative freedom from the everyday stresses your typical reader goes through each day.

Score one for ego.

[Dave]

Pretty much any time a guy prevents himself from talking to a girl, for whatever reason, his ego is making the loser decision.

Scott has posted the tip of an iceberg which a lot of the self-help people have known for years. I still find it funny and weird that most people don't know any of this "pragmatic philosophy".

[JoNa]

Those of us who graduated as mainframe programmers looked down our noses at desktop computers as mere toys. I wouldn't even consider a job working with the lowly PC. After a few years of looking for any job at all, I lowered my standards, just to support my kids, and soon discovered I had a real knack for designing, building, troubleshooting and maintaining small computer networks. It was a whole lot more fun than writing computer programs. It seemed I was dragged kicking and screaming into the perfect job.

[JEB]

as Garth Brooks sang, I thank God for unanswered prayers

[Chrisgiraffe's sense of irony]

The older I get the more I realize luck and fate have much to do with the outcome of most events. I read a post that sparked my feelings about this. A fellow wrote:

" "Would you rob a rich dead guy to feed a starving village in Africa?" Well, duh!"

I just read in the news today that:
"A decade-long, global push to provide infant formula to mothers with the AIDS virus had backfired in Botswana, leaving children more vulnerable to other, more immediately lethal diseases, the U.S. team found after investigating the outbreak at the request of Botswana's government." The report goes on to say, "The findings joined a growing body of research suggesting that supplying formula to mothers with HIV -- an effort led by global health groups such as UNICEF -- has cost at least as many lives as it has saved."

Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19905377/

How about that? As for the poster seeking a new career in grave robbing, I say use the money to buy something worthwhile, like tickets to a Broadway show or a nice meal with your family. Africa already has as much sympathy and bad luck as anyone can buy.

[MattF]

Took a physics course from a guy who seemed confused most of the time-- being the smart guy in the class I had my hand up, making corrections and comments. He invited me to attend his graduate-level seminar, which I declined, assuming it would be more of the same. Needless to say, he won a Nobel prize about ten years later.

[Paul]

Hmm... after reading this, I think that my ego might be screwing me right now.

I'm going to think about how I'm approaching things at work and I'll let you know in a few years how it works out.

[Chrisgiraffe's zen master]

I think the issue here is one of regret. Regrets in life come from the concept of mistakes. I don't think I've met anyone who doesn't have regrets in life over something. But, the other day I had a moment of Zen, or stupidity or something. It was a very simple thought that was comforting. That thought:

There are no mistakes. You did exactly what you were supposed to do at the time. You'll never be in that exact same position again so there's nothing you can do to fix it or change it and there's nothing to learn about it. It just happened and that's it. It is meaningless to rationalize it since there is no rational explanation that you can understand or will ever be able to put to good use.

I hope this helps anyone who reads it.

[Chrisgiraffe]

I was in London on vacation when I was 19 which was only possible because I was in the Army stationed in Germany. I was smitten with the idea of becomming an actor and thought I'd do anything for the opportunity. Turns out, while bar hopping with some friends I bumped into an older, famous British actor whom I'd never heard of. We let him hang out and drink with us like a frat boy until the bars closed and ran out of whiskey. The topic of my acting ambitions came up and he offered to help if I ever came out to LA. I thought, 'Yeah, right', exchanged adresses and forgot about it. Later I got a letter from him, along with a signed headshot, telling me how much fun he'd had and asking me to come out when I got a chance.

Now, here's where my ego takes over. I suspected this guy was gay, which he turned out to be, and I suspected that if I had gone to LA I probably would have gotten to live rent free at his place, hobnob with other actors, etc. until my career would take off- but I knew he was gay and I'd probably be expected to 'earn my keep' in nefarious ways. At least that's the way I imagined things might go. I didn't follow up on the lead and, needless to say, I am not a famous actor.

Brad Pitt on the other hand, moved to LA and worked as a pool boy at some rich single guy's house. He stayed at the guy's guest house in the back before his big break. I figure Brad's ego didn't get in the way as mine did, but I'm only guessing.

[Eric]

Although you've apparently deleted a similar smart-ass post, I'll say it.

You never had a decision to make. You have only the illusion of making decisions. You are a moist robot.

Not so comforting when it's about you, right?

[I'm comfortable with that. That's how illusions work. -- Scott]

[magwai]

Here's what you missed. Even back then you reviewed the decision and saw that you had made a mistake. Your ego was already starting to give up the ghost.

Talk to some of these "loser decision" people and see if they think they screwed up. The park benches of the world make great beds for people who are happy with every decision they ever made.

[Paul]

As a college freshman in 1981, I was just beginning my Chemical Engineering program. Besisde the usual math and science, there was also a mandatory computer course. In that course, I discovered that I had an Aspergerish talent for writing and debugging code.

Ego wanted to play with chemicals instead.
Ego didn't foresee that computers would take over the world.
Ego prevented me from retiring at 35 (like one of my grade school buddies).
Ego is very, very sorry now....

[RA]

DESTINY man...DESTINY

[Niblik]

I just got to watch my step-son make one of these kind of decisions last month. He is going to be a senior in high school next year.

The Loser Decision:

A nice long career at McDonalds, or free college. He chose McD's.

The long version of the story is that he would have to spend his senior year of high school in this state away from his father and friends. This state offers in-state programs for in-state colleges if you complete your senior year of high school in-state (a promote the state kind of thing). He is 20% under the admissions (tests and gpa) of the college he wanted to go to in the other state. He is only 5-10% under admissions (tests only) for a college, here, in-state.

[Apollo]

I was offered a Team Lead position that would have led me down the managment path. I declined b/c I didn't want to work with a psycho-UNIX admin. The Supervisor wasn't too happy with me. They found some chick to fill the spot.

I went down another path, but it still led me to management ... I'm being promoted to Supervisor. I took a risk, but it all evened out in the end.

[McGurker]

Well, one time at bandcamp...

I was offered the job as intern cowbeller.

A few years later I turned into Will Ferrel and got a job on Saturday Night Live.

"I've got a fever, and the only perscription is more cowbell!"

[Deanj]

That ego thing happened to me, and probably still happens.

I was working for someone I didn't like, and switched jobs (and moved) to work for someone that I knew. Had I done this with my eyes wide open, I wouldn't have taken the job. My ego was in the way....BIG mistake. Worst job experience of my life.

Now things are back on track. I might not have the most glorious or high-paying job, but I'm working on a lot of other things that help Mr. Ego out that aren't work related (but will be one day, hopefully), and I'm much much happier.

[friskybeaver]

No, but it has driven me into a curb...I can totally take this turn at 60, says the guy in the car which couldn't take that turn at 60.

[CDriK]

So the ego is a bit like ratbert ?

[Mirky]

I'm about to swallow my ego (which is quite a bite) and take a step I hope will pay off in the long run, so thanks for this post. It made me feel good about it altho the decision was made already :)

[Harry Chong]

I knew I shouldn't have turned down that night with Joey Heatherton.

[le big MAC]

My life and career are one long series of cliff-diving events. The sad part is no one ever explains what you did to hit the rail; they just smirk and spit as you fall screaming into the abyss of cubicle-farm, middle-aged emptiness. Bitter? Me?!

PS Mr Adams, why did you delete a free will post because it was 'boring' and all the sick comments on the reality show thread went up? Did someone finally debunk the silly 'moist robot' theory of yours? Ooh we are intrigued!

[Sarutobi Sensei]

Scott...Not sure if this has a lot to do with ego...perhaps u didn't fully realize the other potentials of that 'gopher' job back then and hence you didn't take...But on the other hand, what if that job was nothing more the gopher job that you had imagined....well, one way to avoid such conundrums is to have a good circle of people who are ahead in one's career path and make better choices through their suggestions and their experiences.

Regarding the comic story line and in any business, the 'duh' thing is that ...the producer always caters to the consumer to stay in market, other wise we might have some ttocs smada making Dilbert and writing this blog...

I hope this doesn't sound too combative although I've been in a cynical path lately...

Also in your blog...theres always more agreers than debaters :-) no matter what the topic or the contention.

[Chris]

So, you made exactly the decision you were meant to make, on both occasions. The first situation was only there to inform the second. What do you think you'd be happier doing, running banks or what you're doing now? And which one makes the world a better place?

[Terry@TBay]

Scott, if you HAD accepted the gopher position, do you think you would even have started drawing Dilbert?
If you are happy doing what you're doing now, how does that first decision translate into being a "loser decision"?
There's no guarantee either that you would have been better off. You might have sucked at being a gopher and ended up destitute on the street.

[Simon Gear]

I do the same thing all the time. I always wanted to be in media. Chased it with everything I had. When I was 23, I cracked a slot as a presenter of my country's equivalent of Good Morning America (admittedly we're a much smaller market). Things progressed and at 31 I am sitting on 8 years of daily, on air experience and am just going through the motions. But no one below the rank of Oprah gets to walk away from TV, right?

I have tried quite a few other avenues but always keep the TV thing going in the background. Considering that the TV stuff takes up a large part of my time, those other things have, unsurprisingly, failed.

And now a wife and two kids make me even less likely to leap. I'm sitting around waiting to be dislodged by a younger, hungrier upstart. I wish he'd hurry the hell up.

[AJ]

I have the opposite problem. My ego isn't big enough.

I have 2 career paths I'd consider: photographer and software developer. I've been a developer for the last ~4 years. I take whatever job is offered to me because I don't feel I'm good enough to work where I'd really like. I don't take the big projects because I don't feel I'm skilled enough/responsible enough to take it on.

As for photography, I'm just a hobbyist who dreams of making money at what I enjoy. I know the field is saturated, and it's impossible to make decent money at it.

If only my ego was big enough to get in the way.

[Bertram]

Many times, probably, but without me knowing it. I always refused to be judged by people, because people might be wrong. So, I always chose the path where measurable achievement was to be relied on. Here is reality.

The so-called career path means you have to find people with the same illusions as your own to admire each other's imagined qualities. Naked emperors bragging about their new clothes. I gladly cite Victor Stone here: "Don't belong, never join, think for yourself, peace."

However, there is no cliff. I always stayed on level ground. I do what I do best, and people pay me for it. Stable equilibrium. Kind hearts, good life.

[Miklos]

The more I read back to earlier comments the more annoyed I become. Jason, for example - "You want the big moves, the bigger money" - big moves is just fancy words for big stress and bad sleep, and big money is completely pointless: the important things in life (books for example) are usually cheap. Why on earth do you think everybody wants these?

[DML]

Oh and as far as "loser decisions" caused by my dumb ego, mine would probably be majoring in something "hard" (science/engineering) over something "easy" (business/finance).

If I'd made a different decision, I could have gotten a hardworking, but well compensated job ripping off people who hadn't read "A Random Walk Down Wall Street".

[squigs]

What does the executive know? You may well have turned out to be useless at anything other than gophering. You might have hated the VP bank position, and it would have been a step backwards if you wanted to head to a different job that involved managing people.

Your readers were in a good position to judge. They were telling you what they liked and most people know what they like.

[DML]

"Loser decision"? Wake-up call: you are a multi-millionaire, bestselling author/cartoonist. ;)

I lost a job once due to my ego. I got it back by kissing some major but in an "official apology".

My ego said "I can fix this computer myself" -- a loose floppy cable. After all I built one in 79 and was a whiz with them.. even the POS computers we had to work with.

The woman I worked for insisted that we call a contractor in from Miles away to do it. I thought I was saving time, money, and increasing production (they went down ALL the time) -- she saw it as an affront to her authority. Guess who won? lol.

Anyway, I eventually left that position and (eventually) became a senior software developer. I think if I had just left th