Today I am visiting the small town where I grew up: Windham NY. I have to write this post on my BlackBerry. If it looks odd, that's why. In Windham, they've heard good things about the Internet, but there's still a wait-and-see attitude.
I haven't been back to Windham since I left 28 years ago. A big reason for leaving was the weather. So I carefully selected a calendar date with the lowest chance of death-by-snow. Furthermore, I checked the forecast before getting on the plane. There was only a ten percent chance of rain all week. So I left my umbrella home.
It's amazing how stupid you can get in 28 years.
As we dragged our luggage from Albany airport, lightning started a shock and awe campaign apparently aimed at toppling the Scott and Shelly regime. We tucked and rolled and made it to the rental car area just as the sky opened and the death-rain began. Before long, the rain turned to dime-sized hail and destroyed crops, stunned small animals, and made children cry.
"This is what 'ten percent chance of rain' means in Windham," I explained to my wife. You don't want to be here on a bad weather day.
Luckily, traffic was not an issue, since most of the time we were the only car on the road. If your car goes off the road in Windham, your best bet is reincarnation.
I tried to give my wife the audio tour of my hometown as we drove through, but I quickly realized all of my landmark references were based on memories of who allegedly got fingered where. That gets old faster than you'd think.
I kid, but Windham is actually a shockingly beautiful town and the people are nice. This is where I learned the art of humorous exaggeration. Exaggeration sounds funnier than "It rained." And they do have high speed Internet in Windham, except where I am right now.
The part about the dime-sized hail was true, but I am assured there is only a ten percent chance it will happen again today.