Dilbert and Chess

The other day I was pre-autographing a box of squeezable Dilbert characters at my restaurant. We buy them with the restaurant information printed on their backs, as promotional items for potential banquet customers. (Yes, I pay for the squeeze toys.)

Anyway, as customers and employees were lusting after them, I lined them up for optimal viewing and noticed something interesting: They map perfectly into chess pieces. Check out this picture.

Imagine Asok the Intern instead of Catbert.

Here's how I see it mapping:

Alice = Queen. The most powerful and capable piece.

Boss = King. He’s in charge, but largely helpless.

Dilbert = Rook. He moves in a straight path. Dilbert’s head shape and bumpy hairline even resemble a rook.

Bishop = Wally. He always has an angle, and he has a little bald head.

Dogbert = Knight. It’s the sneakiest chess piece. You never see it coming. And it’s the only animal.

Pawn = Asok the interns. He’s small and powerless and expendable.

I played some chess as a kid. When I created Dilbert, was I subconsciously influenced by the chess characters? Would any random group of six characters have a good chance of mapping to chess pieces? Is this just a routine coincidence? Is it more evidence I am a hologram programmed by my past self, and I reused code? Are the chess pieces based on some sort of universal archetype that I instinctively tapped into?

Beats me. I just think it’s freaky.

Since I know you’ll ask, the squeezable Dilbert characters are just about the coolest Dilbert-related items ever. They have that inexplicable x-factor thing where you can’t keep your hands off them. You can get them at Amazon.com, without printing on their backs.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-url/104-9918651-8252729?%5Fencoding=UTF8&search-type=ss&index=toys&field-keywords=Parle

Or order direct from the company, Parle, if you want your company name on the back.

http://parle.com/frameset.html

Or book a banquet at my restaurant and get a signed one for free. Just ask. www.eatatstaceys.com. (The web site will be redesigned in a few weeks. We’re working on it.)

Comments

[Nobuddy]

Scott, if you're gonna promote new merchandise on here, which is a clever idea, here's something I'd buy for myself and my husband, and maybe some friends:

One of the cutest things you've come up with is the "Evolution of Dilbert" sequence from the cartoon series; if you did a shirt with all the stages, starting from the glasses-wearing cells, up through caveman Dilbert, and including when everyone emerges in dinosaur/reptile form, I'd pay almost anything for it.

[Sean]

I just wonder what the reaction would be once someone realizes all the pawns are of a different race than the big pieces. Let's face it, some people are looking to be offended.

[Ray]

Please get someone onto making that chess set. Think of how many managers offices would be decorated with that... that would be absolutely awesome

[the man in the trout mask]

In my chess set all the pieces look the same ... they are identified only by name on the underside of the base ... this adds a whole new dimension to the game - one either has to have total recall of every move or the mental capacity to "imagine" the game, i.e. you make the physical moves with the unidentifiable pieces while the "correct" picture is displayed mentally ... "you" have to step back from the process and simply allow it to happen. It is a pure adventure in conciousness ... Zen chess maybe.

[Elisha]

Shameless marketing!

Regardless I reckon a really cool product would be a dilbert chess game. Obviously the figurines (they probably have a more technical name) preferably wouldn't be squidgy.

Every square could have a dibert comic on it!!! (the black squares could have the comic on a black background with white writing) = genius. i should start my own blog....

[Leora]

How do you pre-autograph things? Is it like pre-boarding a plane?

Shouldn't a pre-autographed squeezy be one on which there is no autograph yet?

[Candice]

I could think of a few ways I'd like these better. But they are cure, I guess. I'd like to squeeze the Dilbert one between my teeth. I learned it from my dog, you see. ;)

[amh]

GAAA! I can't stand websites that open new windows!!!

[Benson]

So I looked at amazon then there little helpful "you looked at...you might like..." thing connected me to this:

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1584281839/ref=s9_asin_title_2/104-3871276-2805547?pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_s=center-3&pf_rd_r=1XZTWA1TX3RHVBDEY79D&pf_rd_t=101&pf_rd_p=288448601&pf_rd_i=507846

Technology rules!

[DWH]

Stop fiddling around with this blog and get the chess set ready for christmas!
Maybe the white squares on the board can be funny in-office Dilbert memos& the black squares can be Catberts different 'your fired because' memos.

[Marxist]

nice!

[David]

I just saw an ad for those squeezy things here yesterday. Hooray. I think you'd have enough customers for a chess set. I would maybe buy it, if I had money in the future.

[danbert]

Actually I've long been hunting the PHB plush-toy, which seems to have dropped off the earth.
I've wanted one ever since you showed Dilbert slapping one.

Great stress-reliever

[Amir]

I think you can make any six characters into chess pieces, its like any general assigning problem. That's why horoscopes work - you need to assign yourself to one of 12 general ambigious categories, no wonder everyone agrees with 'their' sign. If you were asked to shuffle the characters in their assignments (dilbert = pawn, bos = rook, catbert = king, etc) you still could find good reasonings for each, couldnt you?

Anyhow, I would buy a dilbert chess set if I saw it in a store. I might just buy the squeezables and put them on a 'make pretend' board, or then again, I might just give them to my two-year-old daughter and let her have fun with them (teach them when their young).

[Kodjo Hogan]

you should make a set, or i always thought a game of life based on the dilbert world would be cool.

[David H]

Uh, they weren't made in China were they?

[Dave K.]

Better yet, make it Dilbert crew vs. Charlie Brown crew. This will expand the market greatly and allow a similiar choice analogous to deciding between the shoe, iron, etc. in Monopoly(R)

[jim]

Sometimes I visit a web site or blog and feel I'm being subjected to subliminal advertising. Does anyone else ever get that feeling?

Anyway, moving on: tell us more about your business, Scott...

[Mike D]

Geez, Scott, you sure have a lot of dead animals to eat at your restaurant.

[Berimbauone]

Are theese made in China? In any case, I changed my mind. I am going to get some.

[VJ]

I want a search on your blog to look for archives

[Michelle]

Here's how I would map the pieces for two sides:

White: as Scott said

Black:
Rook: Ted
Bishop: Garbageman
King: Phil / CEO (probably CEO)
Queen: Carol
Knight: Catbert
Pawn: Elbonians

I think it works. I wouldn't buy it, but I had fun thinking about it!

[Joe]

Code reuse is a terrible habbit.

Try polymorphism next time.

[Wacky Bob]

Excellent, PublicKenemy!

[Simon]

I'd buy it. But only if it was on sale, and I had just won the lottery. Also, it had be sold in Sweden since I rarely travel internationally.