Your Virtual Wing Man

One of the services I provide to hetero male readers of this blog is teaching you how to obtain sex from women who are too good for you. To that end, I scour the Internet looking for scientific articles that can give you an edge. Recently, I found a doozy.

Research has shown that the part of your brain in charge of self-control is a common resource that helps you avoid any kind of temptation. Using that part of the brain to resist one sort of temptation essentially tires it out, making it harder to resist other forms of temptation. In other words, BUHWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

http://www.world-science.net/othernews/071011_self-control.htm

Let’s bring this research into the real world and see how it holds up to the rigors of anecdotal observations. Consider the process of buying a car. Once you find a car that activates your purchase lust, and you negotiate for a few hours, the self-control resources in your brain are worn down, even if you held out for a good deal. That’s why it is so easy for the sales person to tack on invisible rust inhibitors and insurance against locust attack. That fits the theory well.

I recommend hanging around car dealerships and trying to score with women who are walking from the showroom to their new cars. Those women are completely out of self-control. With a little bit of game, you should be able to slip your key in the ignition before she does.

You should also date women who are on diets. Half of your work has been done for you by Haagen-Dazs. But just to be safe, bake some brownies and leave them on a plate at your home. When you get back to your place say, “Sorry about the heavenly scent of freshly baked brownies. I would offer you one but I only made enough for the ‘Save the Puppies’ fundraiser tomorrow. So don’t you dare sneak one while I am slipping into something more comfortable.”

A-a-a-and, you’re in.

If the target of your affection is a student, try making your moves after she has finished studying. That should be the best time because she resisted other forms of distraction while she studied. Her self-control will be running on fumes. Go!

I’m guessing that many of you men have made the mistake of giving women whatever they want, hoping it will make you more likeable. According to the research, that just makes it easier for women to resist you. The better approach is to tease women with things they desire but prefer to resist, until their resources for resistance are worn out. Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer.

Can you think of any other strategies using this theory?

Comments

[Mikey]

so, does your wife belong to a religious order that believes laughing is a sin?...or did you take her to a movie about seal clubbings with your pet baboon that could 'smell weakness'? ---(i say this all tongue in cheek, lest you think i'm just being an ass; this blog is awesome, and you are hilarious) :D

[adora]

Lent & Ramadan.

[M E]

Ha ha, roflmao, that has got to be one of the funniest post I've read this week. "Smaller and stiffer". :-) I think the best way to pick up women is actually being yourself. Talking and conversation are the number one ways. Hey if your not a great conversationalist find another way to get the girls attention. Be creative but above all be "nice" and truthful. Nice guys don't finish last...until then good luck!

[Appfunds]

I can`t give you any hints. I`m an average guy who doesn`t know how to pick up a girl. I admire you all experts :)

[anaconda]

"Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer"

Smaller? Who are you refering to?

[Diana W]

I'm sure this has been brought up repeatedly in the posts before mine, but the key here is 'temptation'. If the woman isn't at least somewhat tempted to begin with, then lowering resistance isn't going to help. I can be on a diet, at a Jag dealership, and have a clear opportunity to kick George Bush in the balls, but that still wouldn't get my resistance low enough to want to touch the troll in QC. Now if I were also drunk, slipped some good drugs, watched a few Clooney movies and the troll was covered in low-cal chocolate syrup, that might lead to a night I'd want to forget.

[Nostok]

"Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer."

If that was in a movie I would have had to rewind and watch that part again.

[KiwiMum]

Well that "nag the Mum" (sorry - if you are American think "Mom") stuff doesn't work on me. My 3 critters (now teenagers)gave up because I used the "don't ask me again, I've already said "no" so if you ask me again its just making me angry" line on them when they were toddlers. By the time they were at preschool they knew to only ask me once.
Much like my attitude to salesmen, really - if they nag I just end up angry & stomp away.
That tactic wouldn't have worked with me when i was single either!

[TallDave]

Nah, I say bullshit; lack of self-control isn't the main obstacle. The more important part is getting women horny and wanting you, which is difficult if they're irritated from resisting things all day.

Alcohol is so effective because we look prettier AND they have less control.

I say there is a corollary here: reduction in sex drive is also proportional to and concomitant with reduction in self-control caused by resisting things.

[techguy]

>>"What's wrong with being genuine and sincere? Needing to >>play games is a sign of something seriously being wrong.

>>Posted by: Athena "

>Because for some reason that I *really* don't understand, >the good guy gets kicked to the kerb BEFORE anything good >gets going. OK, you kicked the bad guy out but only AFTER >he got several bases along.

>Don't ask me why this works, but the nasty guys get it and >the good guys are considered "good friends". A decent >example of this (though the ending never happens outside >hollywood) in action is in Roxanne with Steve Martin.
posted by Mark

Mark, let me 'splain something to you: the "nasty guy" is good looking, thus can get away with nasty behavior and doesn't really care if he gets this particular girl. You, on the other hand, are not.

[Mark]

So the theory is that will be *tempted* by the prospect of having sex with someone so unattractive that they have to resort to trickery to get a mate?

[Real Live Girl]

Nice Dudes: After reading your posts, it's clear to me why you need Scott to be your wing man.

There are plenty of nice, smart, funny, and pretty women out there beating off the trolls on a daily basis, waiting for someone genuine to step up. (At least where I live.)

Problem is, you nice guys never talk to us. You're too busy being sexless friends with the Drama Club President and waiting for her to wise up and let you rescue her. And then when that doesn't happen, you get all bitter. Charming.

But it can happen. I know because I'm a good wing girl and provide this service to my friends. Get your female friends on the job - you can be hooked up faster than you think.

If not, learn how to bake those brownies. Then steal her shoes. :)

[Electric Maenad]

An example of this tactic working: a harried mother in a grocery store with small child(ren) in tow.

"Please mom?"
"No."
"Please mom?"
"No."
(repeat until...)
"Please mom?"
[pained sigh]
"All right, fine. Just be quiet in the car on the way home, okay?"

Although speaking from personal experience, sometimes resisting temptation all day and then being hit on by some jackass in a bar will simply decrease my inclination to be polite when I shoot him down. I don't really respond well to pressure tactics, which is why I haven't bought a car in twelve years.

[broacher]

This discussion reminds me of an argument I once came up with for the defence of atheism:

If God exists... then why doesn't semen taste exactly like Kahlua?

[Kim]

This post is hands down one of the funniest I have read on your blog to date. Well done. I laughed out loud for a while.

[Laremy]

The Ladder Theory @ http://www.intellectualwhores.com/masterladder.html

[Mark]

"Excellent and very funny post. There's one problem with this hypothesis: WOMEN AREN'T TEMPTED BY SEX.

Posted by: Vidizer "

Um, in a word: Bollocks.

There are a lot fewer differences between men and women than women had hoped for.

[mizveggie]

Hmmm,

Scott you really are good....

Accolades!!

That being said, it seems that wearing down my resistance makes me stay, whereas when I want to be ignited it just happens.... perhaps I've shed that constraint....

I like where neopolitan is coming from... where is that exactly? After this relationship wears me down to nothing maybe i'll go there....

[Dawn]

Yay! the resurrection of the Penis joke! I am 43 very attractive funny and smart. I'd pay good money to have a somewhat-attractrive man wear me out-into-sex.

[Admirer]

Scott, you do drop turd when it comes to science, but this post is immoderately outrageously hilarious, with just the right dose of plausibility to make it my favourite post by you in recent times. Rock on!

[Dmitry Z]

It worked so many times, and didn't even know why!

[mbutu]

Happened to be re^n-reading Douglas Adams (a distant cousin, I believe ;) ) at this time.

"... caught me off my guard. I was fighting so strenously against doing one thing that it easily tripped me into another -"

And a little later,

"... demonstrated the power of post-hypnotic suggestion to you... You can be made to do all kinds of absurd things, and will then cheerfully invent the most transparent rationalisations to explain them to yourself..."

[Mark]

"What's wrong with being genuine and sincere? Needing to play games is a sign of something seriously being wrong.

Posted by: Athena "

Because for some reason that I *really* don't understand, the good guy gets kicked to the kerb BEFORE anything good gets going. OK, you kicked the bad guy out but only AFTER he got several bases along.

Don't ask me why this works, but the nasty guys get it and the good guys are considered "good friends". A decent example of this (though the ending never happens outside hollywood) in action is in Roxanne with Steve Martin.

[Steven McDaniel]

"...I think that's how religion thrives though. They get you to deny things that are the basic necessities in life, like sex ..
Not now though, I'm atheist and proud of it!
BTW: I'll give it a try Scott, all's fair in love and war, right!? Muhwawahahaha~!..."

Posted by: J

Too bad, J, 'cause I prayed, and got me a hot woman who likes sex without being tricked into it, and we've been married 21 years now. But, hey, if you're an ugly atheist, do what you gotta do, buddy...

[Vidizer]

Excellent and very funny post. There's one problem with this hypothesis: WOMEN AREN'T TEMPTED BY SEX.

Well, they could be tempted a lil' bit on occasion but as far as hard statistics are concerned, they are not. What's worse, they are especially NOT tempted to have sex with your average readers (me included).

Your theory might work big time for GOLD DIGGERS though. To sum up: if you have eyes on a rich dude that's proving temptation-resistant, take him to a Victoria Secret show. Or, go with him to a Ferrari dealership (for a test drive or something). Once his defenses are down (and the cobra's up), go for it.

[Simon]

It is wonderful that so many of you are taking Scott at face value on this. His primary task is to make us laugh and that he does very well. I don't think he intended us to make extended psychoanalytical discussions on his wacky suggestion but I guess he kinda hoped that we would!

[Rod]

"In other words, BUHWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

Best. Line. Ever. It made laugh my eyeballs out.

[Paul Mckenna]

I read that young men who had been saved at revivalist meetings would make propositions to young women who also been saved and were very successful.

If you want to hunt it down on the web start with Grapes of Wrath and the revival meeting and drill down.

Paul

[Oliver]

there's an entire community (including an ever growing number of internet forums) that does nothing but analyze how to disarm women's barriers. there are books on the subject (the most famous one being "the game" by neil strauss).

[Little me]

Selena, you're one in a million. Only once in a lifetime.
;)

[neopolitan]

I once travelled extensively in the US, as part of work. This meant many stays at hotels, dinners out with contractors and lonely evenings in strange towns.

During some of those evenings I went out to investigate the night life and, being hitched, I limited myself to observing the local mating rituals, rather than trying my hand (cue potential naughty joke).

One thing I noticed is that the average American male doesn't take "no" for an answer, or "no, I am really not interested", or "please go away now", or "fuck off loser or I am going to call over a bouncer to beat the crap out of you". It might be all that 'good girl' morality you get hung up on.

Where I come from a woman can express a little interest and not be considered badly, heck a woman can even show a lot of interest and it's no great crime. But if she says no, that means "no". In the US it seems that even an interested girl is supposed to say no and the guy is supposed to read the subtle difference between a no that means no and a "fuck off loser" which means yes.

Where do you think the greatest respect gets paid?

And oddly, if you are focussed purely on slipping your key into the ignition, you have a better chance where I come from. Women who need it get respect, women who need something else get that too (without losing respect). Everybody wins!

cheers,

neopolitan

[Jonas Islander]

I can see a problem with this strategy... after having worn down someone's self control, the resistance to giving you a punch in the face will be just as low.

[gautam]

On the other hand, you are very funny when it takes more than a few minutes to realize that you are just yanking a chain.

[gautam]

"slip your key in the ignition before she does"
"Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer"

Double entendres make me puke. Probably because that's the most prefered form of "humour" in my country.

[loser of guitar picks]

less venomous

[Attie Naude]

Or you could just pay for sex... :)

Sounds like a lot less effort to me!

[DML]

The problem is that all this involves effort. This cat and mouse stuff is tiring - I'd rather be watching football and eating cheetos. What's the strategy for sex with attractive women with little effort? :)

[Stella]

This explains why I think you're blog is so insightful. No, wait a minute. Duh!

[pertinax]

Last week, Scott, I said that you (like me) were a nerd, and I stand by that. This blog reminds me that nerds have a lot in common with male psychopaths (specifically, limited activity in the frontal cortex during social interactions).

I have a worrying hypothesis that the main differentiator between the nerd and the psychopath is social context, especially as that bears on self-esteem. Specifically, Scott, I'm afraid that that your success has been turning you from an honest nerd into something more like a psychopath and, with posts like this, you are encouraging other people to go the same way.

[The Sound of KOINK]

Why bother with all the pretense? If she wants it you'll find out. If she doesn't, the next one will.

[David]

"What's wrong with being genuine and sincere?"

...

Here's what's wrong with it: as a genuine and sincere guy, I can tell you from bitter experience that women are always passing me over for non-genuine and sincere guys. Women often complain about men who act like womanizers, and yet they continue to reward that sort of behavior and not reward genuine sincerity.

[P-A]

Let me see if this could work in a business environment:
1/ Pick up a Manager with a lot of direct (female) reports and who is especially dumb (or a plain moron)
2/ Suggest to the said manager, that it's time for the quarterly employee performance review. Ensure a good 2hours per individual review. Further suggest the end of the day as a good timing for reviews.
3/ The boss being a moron, strike the lady at the end of the meeting. This being the end of the day, it should be easy ^__^

Don't tell my wife.

P-A
http://devrouze.blogspot.com/
n.b.: blog not in english

[William of Urbana]

May you be blessed with a beloved daughter, my son. ;-)

[Minister of Silly People in Green]

Genuine and sincere gets you filed in the "nice" guy catagory. At that point its game over.

[rd]

there are somewhere guys who bake brownies
how sweet
your post exacerbated my old breakupsongitis, was to post an incredibly sad song
but i pulled myself together

these brain studies are pretty esoteric
don't you think? their interpretations i mean
you mix M and W and they can tell your political affiliations
can't read green in red and you are zombi etc
isn't it just inattention, lack of concentration something
but nevermind

[broacher]

So, does that mean that men who are deemed by most to be 'no threat' to a women's sense of sexual self-control are somehow desirable and likeable relief? (At least, to some women?) Kind of like how many women find gay guys extremely likeable. But it might also explain why you sometimes seem truly repulsive males attracting very beautiful women.

[Aditya Simha]

OMG! This was the most AMAZING blog-entry ever! Hmm....now I need to hang around car dealerships...pity that the only one around my town is a Dodge Truck dealership...no hot women there, more like tough looking handle-bar moustached truckers! Or else, the dieting dames...I need to keep my eye out for those!

Thanks, Scott. I hope this works out!

[Gene]

Rita pester the hell outta the bastages about something else and when they get worn down then slam them using Scott's idea to get the surgery you want!

[Jed Snole]

A little bit off-topic (although I probably could figure out a way to make it on-topic, a report from Fox News explaining that people will be marrying robots by 2050. See http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,301736,00.html .
Sounds like a good topic for another blog entry in the next few days.

[loser of guitar picks]

i like spaghetti!

[Trap with a C]

Really really funny writing =))
Do you have any theories on how to win a woman who is not willing to let go of her boyfriend who has dumped her?!

[BTTFVGO]

Wow, I've always bought a girl anything she wanted, to try to get a shot. I remember one Valentine's day I spent about $150 on flowers, cards, a gigantic teddy bear, and a big heart shaped balloon inside a big heart shaped balloon...

I mean, don't get me wrong, spending a lot of money on them always got me a shot, so I think it's worth it.

__________________________________________
Posted by Ray Smuckles
.....*hetero male*??? Why do you think that the advice doesn't apply to everyone? For example Lesbians are faced with the same task as hetero males... how to get her in bed.
__________________________________________

ROTFLMFAO - now that's a fact! Humorous as hell the way you wrote it, but true as can be.

[D. Mented]

BTW, a way of finding women who are tempted to perform sexual acts on any given day is to stand in a high traffic area and say to any women who look remotely attractive "Hi, wanna have sex?"
If you aren't completely repulsive or in a location with a lot of fundamentalists, somebody will say "Sure, let's go!"
(not that fundamentalist women don't want sex, just that they'd rather say no in a public place than get beaten to death, have acid thrown on their faces, or other delights reserved for fundaMentalist women who admit they have sensation below their hearts)
D. Mented

[D. Mented]

I have to weigh in on the side of "there has to be some temptation there even after resistance to other temptations has worn me down".
You imagine what I want after a difficult day resisting the temptation to unleash the fist of death is for some guy who can't otherwise get laid to fuck me.
There might be another temptation I could no longer resist.
D. Mented

[Darth Geoff]

Geez, are you turning into Robert Crumb or what?

[Megan]

Well...I hate to say it...but I think your right Scott...and as a woman...it's hard for me to admit your right...but deep down I know its true! damnit!!

hope there aren't too many people reading this stuff...women everywhere could be thrown into chaos if this technique is adopted widely!

[Ken]

Selena, it's not that men think they are undesirable to women. It is that men tend to have a higher sex drive and are more apt to have sex for the sake of sex with less need for an emotional connection first. Women, whether they realize it or not, often use sex as a means to another end. Men want sex for the least amount of effort, and if they do not have a moral qualm, will take the path of least resistance.

[Pianist]

For a musician: an hour after a concert in which he performs. Honestly, do you have any idea how much self-control it takes not to punch out everyone in the building in an attempt to leave after a flawless performance for which you had spent five hours a day preparing (minimum)? And then, just doing something for five hours straight is in itself enough to completely annihilate any and all resources of control. Add to this fact that we do that every day and are therefore constantly in a state of low-maintenance....

[Phoenix]

It takes a whole lot more than that to get me into bed. I want a commentment before i'll take a risk like that.

[Arun S]

Ah .. so if someone is able resists THE(!) temptation, he would be vulnerable enough 2 accept whatever a holy-book has 2 say !

Hmm .. that explains how many of the religions work

[Chris Greiner]

BEST ADVICE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
In the words of Asok the Intern: "I shall start the paperwork to make you a God."

[Athena F]

I enjoy your blog most of the time, but gotta say this is bad advice. It reeks of sociopath. I had an ex try to pull this kind of thing on me, but I eventually caught on to his game and left him by the wayside. What's wrong with being genuine and sincere? Needing to play games is a sign of something seriously being wrong.

[Jimmy V.]

This is pretty much *exactly* how women successfully entice men into buying them things and eventually marriage. Hold out and tease the self-control (not to mention the self-esteem and self-respect) right out of 'em.

[Selena Kitt]

Do men really think they're so undesirable to women?

*scratching head*

Maybe I'm weird, but I rather like men... and sex... both... preferably together...

*shrug*

[amy]

This theory assumes that you, the man, are in any way a temptation for the woman.

[James Yeamans]

I wouldn't call you a wing man, maybe a second baseman. Anyways, the truly best way to get something is to cut out all the mental game crap and just beg the shit out of her. And be really persitant about it. Just beg until you cry and then beg some more. Eventually they will have pity on your descpicable self. Yes- hole in one!

[Padre]

Okay so there are many comments saying scott has it wrong because women are not resisting men they are uninterested. But they idea is that they are tired of saying no, whether it be to cake, tv, a boss or sex. The reasoning behind a negative response is irrelevant, its still negative and with the proper weaseling it can too be worn down.

Proof?

If this didn't work all men would just give up on the first no. And women wouldn't ever be able to play hard to get.

The Padre

[James Yeamans]

I wouldn't call you a wing man, maybe a second baseman. Anyways, the truly best way to get something is to cut out all the mental game crap and just beg the shit out of her. And be really persitant about it. Just beg until you cry and then beg some more. Eventually they will have pity on your descpicable self. Yes- hole in one!

[d]

Urban Koda writes about "small stiff cobras bearing chocolate brownies." I dunno. Something about snakes giving birth to brownies brings the whole discussion to a head, as it were. After all, there are consequences.

[Dave1-20-2009]

You're male and married, right? Isn't that the most obvious example?

[David]

Okay.

[RPK]

'slip your key in the ignition'? That's awesome! No wonder you get the big bucks....

[Keith]

This advice would work best for someone who is already dating a girl and she's really into him, but she holds back because of religious or societal rules. In other words, this advice is for guys dating "good girls." Otherwise...not much applicability.

[figleaf]

"...teaching you how to obtain sex from women who are too good for you." Yeah, a lot of guys go around believing that if they were just somehow *better* then women would be attracted to them. It's completely false although you generally won't hear "pickup-artist" consultants telling that to their clients. Women have a correspondingly false belief that "they could have sex any time they wanted if they were just willing to lower their standards."

In fact, of course, standards -- ours or our partners -- don't really have much to do with whether someone chooses to have sex with us.

However, if I was a cynical cartoonist of human nature I'd probably come up with a short series about a woman trying to lower her standards enough to connect with a guy who's stubbornly blind to the possibility that she'd ever see anything in him.

[Matthew Kovich]

Man, you have been extra funny recently. So has Scott Meyer. Maybe it's a Scott thing.

[Andrew]

I've actually been using a form of this tactic for years. Seriously, it works.

[LMAO]

Hugely funny topic, but the punchline left me roaring with laughter: "Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer"

Absolutely enjoyable post today, well done!

[broacher]

Hmmm. I think dsg is onto something by suggesting that this same 'wear down the switch' principle applies to management/worker mundane idea exchange. It probably works in reverse too. The big difference though is the power relationship.

What about the 'good cop/bad cop' interrogation technique? Isn't that related to the same thing as what we're talking about here? But in terms of the 'wingman' application, it might seem like you're trying to combine both cops into the same person (like Steve Martin's Inspector Clousseau bit in the Pink Panther).

The whole self-control thing reminds me of an old Spider Robertson short Scifi story where somebody discovers a super-potent truth serum and systematically destroys civilization by popping a bottle into world cities water supplies. Which also reminds me of the new thread today.

Hey, if you were forced to choose, which would you rather have rather have removed from your 'self-control': religious fanatic tendencies or sexual inhibitions?

Coke or Pepsi?

[JFS in IL]

Oh, you silly man!

[Thmz]

I have to agree with Charles;

"She must be resisting something that is appealing in the first place. If the guy is unappealing, then he is SOL."

Posted by: Charles

[Casey]

"The better approach is to tease ... with things they desire but prefer to resist, until their resources for resistance are worn out."

Isn't this what women have been doing for centuries?

[GLK]

Become a shoe salesman. The only thing women like more than orgasms is shoes.

[Marxist]

Time to go nuts.

[truetool]

for those objecting to the "smaller and stiffer" observation - what exactly do you want to do? Pass
through one opening and come out of the other???

[Tyler]

@ twounicycles

If you have a sense of guilt, forget about it. The guilt is worse than the awesome sex is awesome. It's not worth it.

[Billy B]

How well does your advice work for you?
Billy B

[dsg]

I think my boss just did something like that to me. He constantly proposes inane ideas. I must resist the urge to agree with these ideas to make him shut up. Eventually the process of constantly explaining why these ideas and concepts won't work wears me down into agreeing to some bad idea in the end. Is this a special management technique? Perhaps I need to exercise the self-control part of my brain more vigorously.

[Ace]

"Then you strike, like a cobra, but **smaller** and stiffer."

Hey, speak for yourself, pal!

[Gaybert]

"who in their right mind doesn't want hot lesbian sex?"

Well, me for one.

[Nick For Now]

Give a girl fleas in the summertime. The more fleas, the better. The longer her fingernails, the better. Flea bites itch like hell and leave little wounds when scratched to the fullest satisfaction. And people tend to cover their bodies less in the summer so evidence of indulged itches will be more obvious. Hot women (the obvious targets of the flea-seige) will likely avoid inflicting visible wounds on their hot legs, arms, etc.

There is a definite inverse relationship between the number of fleas used in the seige and the minutes you will spend waiting for sex. Be careful: too many fleas will make the itching unbearable and you'll both just end up satisfying yourselves. Also, if she posseses some form of concealer, you might want to (secretly) add salt/lemon juice/propane to it. Two benefits here: either she'll rule out concealer and resist itching again, or she'll resist NOT using the concealer and endure the stinging. Either way, you're welcome.

[Just me]

Hanging around car dealerships and interfering with women about to get into their new cars? I think I'd call the police, myself.

Now, if you can bake brownies, your prospects will be much better. Guys who can cook rock.

Better yet, learn to dance, if that's possible. I've seen a 5-foot tall, senior citizen with a wooden leg dancing Argentine tango with women who look like supermodels. He's there every week, with a different girl.

[twounicycles]

Scott, I have a problem with guilt. I'm in a long term relationship but would like some extramarital hot sex on the side. I've got an archive of all of your advice (what would you like for breakfast etc. ) so I'm sure scoring a partner will be no problem ;-) I just have to sort out this final problem of feeling bad about being a worthless evil cheating disloyal bastard. Can you or any of your bloggers help?

[Charles]

She must be resisting something that is appealing in the first place. If the guy is unappealing, then he is SOL.

[Shai]

er... smaller? I don't get it, Scott.

[niCk(MemBeth)]

Tell a women that you're not interested in sex. Works for me everytime.

If you're too aggressive it turns them off, but try to seem uninterested in sex and its an immediate turn on. Even works on first dates!

[niCk(MemBeth)]

Tll a women that you're not interested in sex. Works for me everytime.

If you're too aggressive it turns them off, but try to seem uninterested in sex and it an immediate turn on. Even works on first dates!

[Justin F]

This fits in with a wealth of other psychological research showing that "executive control" is a finite resource. For example, White people who are told to try and "not act prejudiced" then interact with somebody from another race also show those stroop-task deficits after the interaction, showing that they've "used up" a lot of their self-control.

Or, there are "rebound effects" where suppressing a thought for a period of time causes it to push itself into consciousness later, so to speak. This is the so-called "White bear phenomenon" where people who are told to suppress thoughts of a White bear become more likely to think about it. (The first research was by Jennifer Richeson at Northwestern University and the second by Dan Wegner at Harvard.)

Yours is definitely a better application of the research though!

[Jonathan]

On a side note, this may explain why guys with fancy cars, and give off flashy appearances score more women. Aside from the fact that they draw attention initially, there is the added fact that said women desire all of those things but know they can't have them (or at least, probably can't). If the guy is even remotely attractive (there exists some modicum of sexual desire), then that guy's chances of getting laid has increased drastically given long-term exposure with said woman (a date perhaps). At the end of the night, the desire-but-can't-have motors have been worn out and it's a "meh, why not" world.

[broacher]

Pyschochick Magnet brought up his fear about sex advice from 'engineering types'. Has anyone ever done a study on who scores more: the engineering type, or the liberal arts major? (We're talking quantity here, not quality, mind you.)

Given that sex is (despite the ambiguity 'injected' into the theory by Mr. Clinton) at the universal level, a most definite mechanical act... I know where I'd put my bet money.

[Jonathan]

Having worked with a lot of managers in engineering, this is similar to the "carrot on a stick" effect. More often than not, if I'm making a proposal for a project, I have to dangle things like fancy features, low labor cost, etc. that are completely unrealistic in the beginning of powerpoint presentations, only to come to the boring, dull, conservative design I have in mind at the end.

With their appetites wet but their resistance to temptation down (the wild and unrealistic ideas are pleasing, but are too ambitious to be feasible immediately), I give them a much less tempting, but still appealing alternative and they go for it and give me funding.

It's sad that the world is like that but hey...whatever pays the bills.

[Ray Smuckles]

You said: "One of the services I provide to *hetero male* readers of this blog..."

*hetero male*??? Why do you think that the advice doesn't apply to everyone? For example Lesbians are faced with the same task as hetero males... how to get her in bed.

Of course they do have a slight advantage: who in their right mind doesn't want hot lesbian sex?

[Candice]

Why not just date at your own level? Now there's a thought.

[Heather]

As a woman who has been plied with food as well as after marathon studying sessions, I have to concur with the theory.

Sad but true.

[Aaron]

Awesome, funniest blog in a while! And I have no doubt in the truth of the content either.

[Siv Olsen]

that teori would only work if women saw sex as a temptation. But in my experiens (as a women) sex is available allmost anywhere with little effort and not that interesting.

[J]

I knew I do better in life when I don't try to inhibit myself too much.

I think that's how religion thrives though. They get you to deny things that are the basic necessities in life, like sex and saying "go fuck yourself" to the bum in the street, and then they wear you down enough to where you start giving them money (which is a total non-sequiter to any rational man). At which point you become a bum because they've turned you into an egoless zombie.

Not now though, I'm atheist and proud of it!

BTW: I'll give it a try Scott, all's fair in love and war, right!? Muhwawahahaha~!

[Adrian D.]

Just an observation:

Resisting Haagen Daaz and brownies is not going to make someone desire a plate of eels. It's not a question of resisting. It's a question of undesirability. Sorry, guys.

[J Jetzen]

Very interesting blog.

It scares me that people take dating advice from engineering types. It is really like treading thin ice in uncharted territory ;o)

Also, The brownie thing is not new. It applies to any form of chocolate for the average woman.

Your therory would also explain why women are so vulnerable after a breakup. They are tired of resisting looking around.

My opinion is that the average person does not devote enough time and resources to a successful relationship. You can ask even well educated people who have spent 1,000s of dollars on textbooks if they have even ever read a single book on relationships or spent time researching the subject. You can imagine what the answer is.

Another observation of mine is the way we look at aquiring the things we have in life. Most people put more thought in buying a pair of shoes than in buying a home. It seems like we approach getting the important things on an odd level. We buy a house based on whether we like it, not on whether it is structurally sound. We buy the kind of car we like. Factors like cost of operation, life expectancy, and ease of maintenence are the last considerations. The same often goes for relationships. If He / She is cute or wealthy that takes precidence over thier mental stability, health, and willingness to be a good person.

Me personally... I won't date any woman who's standards are so low that she will date me.

Signed,
Psycochick Magnet

[Noel]

You are assuming the women in question is 'resisting' you like your a chocolate brownie, what if your sex appeal is more like 'celery' than 'brownie'?

P.S. I dont like celery, espcially when it's a choice between something chocolate and something green and stick-like.

[Niblik]

Negotations.

G. Gordon Liddy is always the best example.

The Watergate scandal was -after- they had resisted all of the previous proposals Liddy had given them. Their resistance was worn out and that proposal was not as bad as the rest of the proposals he had made.

Bid the proposals large (200%+). Get resisted. Shave off a few percentage points and re-bid. Get resisted. Eventually, one will get down to around 150% of what they desire/need -- and that proposal has a good chance of being accepted.

[rita mae]

Scotty! You've done it again. I am jinxed. Now that I have read the article you referred to, I feel I must bring my [anterior cingulate cortex] to the attention of my many doctors. I KNEW there was a reason for my chocolate craving.

Still waiting for the insurance company to approve my surgery. The bastages. Hope I don't croak before they get around to giving us the go-ahead. It will be expensive, so they are probably at their desks right now saying, "Surgery? Or let her go? Surgery? Or let her go?"

Hey- wait! Maybe the next person's approval for surgery will be cheaper and look better than mine, so the underwriter will approve quickly. That's what your whole post is about! Proof positive that I am good for something, if only to get some poor sick person their approval from the insurance bastages.

Miss you on the weekends. It's getting harder and harder to catch up on Mondays.

Rita Mae

PS. INDO stole my thought. [Strike like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer.] You naughty guy!

[jerry w.]

A common car sales technique is the "If I can get you the invisible undercoating for free, will you buy this car today?" This is where their "if" part doesn't mean they're actually going to do something, but on your end, your promise to buy it today puts you in the position of keeping your honor intact by living up to your commitment.

So:

"If I give you the best orgasm of your life, one that will curl up your toes so much they fall off, will you give me oral so strong that my eyes implode?" leaves the guy off the hook because he never actually promised to do anything, he only said "If". Whereas the party of the second part has a commitment to be a human tornado.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Brian]

These aren't the droids you're looking for.

[Slag]

"Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer"

Thanks for ruinng a perfectly good keyboard...

[Urban Koda]

Sir! I shall be testing your theory tonight...

You might well be a God-send!

Thanks

[Real Live Girl]

One of the reasons why I read this blog is to see what you sneaky bastards are up to. Now I know to beware of small stiff cobras bearing freshly baked brownies! ...or liquor filled Godivas. Funny stuff this morning - thanks!

[Philip]

Wow this makes amazing sense! I must go try this out right now. Only additional thing I can think to add is that you should seek out women that are repressing bad habits like the urge to bite their nails. Then (in the spirit of double entendre from your examples) you give her something else to nibble on. :P

[Hari]

Actually, you have to hang around the area at the auto dealer where they try to sell the rust inhibitor. In my experience at least, you pick up the car on a different day from when you buy it. They say they have to 'prep' it, but they're probably just stalling till your check clears. But back to the point; on the pickup day the girl will have had time to rest up from the car dealing she did a couple days before.

Does spending time at the gym count as resisting the temptation to go sit in front of the tv with a bag of chips? If so, you may already be guilty of using this method...

[pradeep]

dude!!
you shure have one helluva sick mind!!

but Im gonna try this stuff to see if it works....not on dieting women though, diets make women cranky!

[WCE]

Scott - Interesting theory, but it's based on the assumption that the woman's resistance to having sex is based on her self-discipline. Usually, it's simple disinterest. She isn't holding-back her desires to have sex, she's suppressing her gag reflex.

Otherwise, it might very well work, especially if she's married and mad at her husband/boyfriend. I've found that women looking to get even with their current future-ex are the likeliest to show interest in having sex with a random stranger. I know a lawyer, and he says routinely scores with women filing for divorce. At that point, they'll have sex with anyone if they figure it'll further piss-off their husbands. That's when looks really don't matter, if it adds further shock to the sentence, "You slept with HIM!?!".

[Loren Bell]

It is truly amazing how science has enhanced our potential for debauchery! Maybe we are still evolving!

L

[Drew]

That works on so many levels. Date a shop-a-holic. Plant her in front of the home shopping channel for an hour or two and then suggest you go out to dinner. By the end of the meal she should be more ravenous than a feral cat in heat.
You could also date someone with OCD. I really don't know how that would change the game, but it sure would be fun to find out. Make her lock her door another 42 times and then make sure you walk up about a million flights of stairs. By the end of the night you'd probably be able to suggest you do role play mario and princess peach and she'd be down.
Or you could just date a nymphomaniac and all will sort itself out on its own...

[DF]

Well, this explains the only way that a used car salesman could ever get laid.

How about women walking out of a chocolate factory or store empty handed? For that matter, how about any woman walking out of a mall empty handed? This could backfire however if they are broke, but really how high are your standards for a one night stand anyway?

[Yuriy]

Scott, there is one major flaw in your theory. You seem to think that we male readers of your blog are actually tempting to women. The average woman would need about as much self-control to reject me as she would to avoid stepping in dog doo-doo. Which I suppose says something about the type of woman who would be genuinely interested in me....

[Cosmic Vortex]

Lol! Smaller and stiffer...priceless!

[jakesdad]

you, sir, are EVIL and that's what I really respect about you...

WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY! WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

[Justin Fabian]

Well, I guess that makes sense as to why study sessions in college often turn into make out sessions.

I've also colloquially found that watching movies apparently wears down the same part of the self control part of the mind, as they often turn into make out sessions as well. Perhaps it's because the plot of the movie is so implausible the female has to constantly resist the urge to get up and walk out. I've definitely found the worse the movie, the better the chance that making out will occur.

[Erik]

Booze works the same way, doesn't it? Self-control inhibitor?

[Robert Fischer]

This explains the usefulness of chocolate and tasty dinners on a date: after she's resisted temptation to pig out that long (with the associated self-deprecating loops), she'll be putty in your hands!

The one catch, here, is that you have to actually make yourself a temptation to be resisted. The science people don't say that people are suddenly tempted by things they were previously repulsed by...which wipes out a lot of would-be seducers.

[indo]

"Then you strike, like a cobra, but smaller and stiffer"

You naughty naughty cartoonist you!

Btw, brilliant post. :-D

[LA Clay]

Dude! You made the BIG TIME! On last night's Simpsons there was a "Dilbert's Cubicle" ride! Well it would be big time if this were the 7th season instead of the 13th. But HEY, better late than never!