Student Finds Painting in Couch

Reuters reports that a student bought a second-hand couch at a store and later found inside it a baroque painting from the early sixteen hundreds that sold for $27,660. I assume the student was looking for a place to hide her Picasso, and discovered that all the good places were already taken.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN3118740220071031

This raises many questions. On the top of my list is “How many people have sat on that couch and farted into that painting?” I’m guessing the painting would have fetched a lot more if it didn’t smell like popcorn.

You wouldn’t want to buy that painting, proudly display it on your wall, and also have me as a friend. I don’t think I could leave it alone. I’d be all “That one guy’s face seems a little faded. It must have been at ground zero.” Or “I love that painting. What couch did it come from?”

And if the buyers made the mistake of inviting me to sit in their living room, I would go straight to their couch, let out a thunderous fart, and say something like “I hope I didn’t damage your Renoir.”

Second, who hides a baroque painting in a couch? When I want to hide my valuables, I hardly ever think of using the upholstered furniture. That’s why my watch is sewed inside my cat, in a fake bladder. I got that idea from those fake rocks where you keep your keys. As soon as the fur grows back over her zipper, I’m golden.

The student who found the painting must have been quite the optimist.  Personally, after I hit five or six dry holes in my couch, I stop looking for artwork. But not this plucky student. She went for baroque.

Speaking of dry holes, I should have stopped this post one joke sooner.

Comments

[Will Von Wizzlepig]

older people get dementia and stick all kinds of things (usually valuables) in all kinds of places...

my neighbor's mother died, and about halfway through loading the truck with thrift-store-bound furniture, they had to unload everything since they discovered she'd been stuffing cash into everything that was hollow. Clocks, console radios, TVs, furniture, etc.

[WendyB]

LOL @ "I hope I didn't damage your Renoir." That made my day.

[adora]

My first reaction was, "That beat up couch cost $150 euro? What the? Isn't Ikea from Europe?"
I saw the picture somewhere, it's got like 8-12 holes with duct tape all over. Someone else had punched holes in it and fail to find the painting before this person got lucky.

[Peh]

Golden!

[John]

I one time sat in gum while using the teeter-totter in the 2nd grade...This story is alot better.

http://awritersblock.com

[Michael Chastain]

Scott Adams: "Speaking of dry holes..."

Oddly enough that comment would have applied even better to yesterdays story of a man having sex with a bicycle.

[Matt Brown]

Did you hear about the art thief who got caught just a block from the Louvre after a heist? He was so Barouque, he had no Monet to make the Van Gogh . . . Hardy Har Har!!!

[Offbeat News]

Thats nuts, imagine that when she finds that kind of thing in her couch!

[me]

Dang. I just went through two sofas, four chairs, and three mattresses, about a dozen pillows, my wife's antique grandfather clock, her Chihuahua and several other places and didn't find much. The only exciting thing was a gun duct taped in the tank of the toilet.

[Steven McDaniel]

"She's not baroque, she's got Monet" Adam

Now that was FUNNY!

[Steven McDaniel]

You forgot the last line on your blog: "Talking about students, paintings and couches, don't forget to buy my new book." I kind of felt compelled to complete the blog for you. How about this for a recommendation to put on the back cover?: "Stick to writing books about comics, monkey brains!"

[broacher]

Hmm... if art masterpieces are hidden in old couches...
I wonder what other secrets lie lurking out there in the dust-bunny underworld?

(Did anyone think of really checking out Sadam's couch when they went looking for WOMDs?)

[John E]

It appears that I forgot. don't you have some sort of book out now?

[Tom]

FYI: there's about 200 years between baroque (1600-1750) and Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) who's works were really anything but baroque.

[Bromond]

"I have a Picasso in my underpants." (<-- joke stolen directly from Howard Stern)

[eD]

Well, I guess now that he has what he wanted out of this blog (book), it's time to kick back and relax.

C'mon uncle Scott, please please MAKE THE MONKEYS DANCE SOME MORE.

[Dan]

Adam said: "She's not baroque, she's got Monet."

This is quite impressionist.

[Mike B]

IT is 75 years to the day...something to do with Groucho Marx. I missed most of the item on the radio, but the bit I did hear, an excerpt of Groucho's radio programme, was ace!

[Michael]

Dear Scott,
did you hear about the virus/trojan that attacks Macs when their users log onto porn sites?
Apparently there is currently no way to stop that virus.

Sorry for not including a url where you can find the story, other than in German
http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/tech/0,1518,514860,00.html

Kind of hard to comment that, other than: They are being led around by their dicks...

Have a great day, Mike

[The Sound of KOINK]

Dude, don't let the meat loaf.

[Aditya Simha]

I'm going broke trying to go for baroque.

[Matthew Kovich]

i love you man

[Cassandra]

This isn't totally off-topic, since you mentioned farting twice.

Special underwear defuses flatus
Dr. W. Gifford-Jones , Special to The Windsor Star
Published: Thursday, November 01, 2007

http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=af28b84d-b411-475d-af6d-6eb8f5895994&k=4281

There's also a hard-hitting exposé about why men dribble so much urine on the floor beneath urinals. They recommend painting a house fly on the sweetspot of urinals' parabolic dishes on the assumption that no male can resist a target like that.
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=baa5df5e-476f-41f2-870e-16f1de04af72

I hope you aren't afraid of Billo'Reilly calling you French if you read Canadian newspapers.

[Rickie]

Can't go wrong with a blog riddled with fart jokes. x3

Quite the story too, you sure stumble across some interesting things.

[Kelvin]

I believe it's inspired by remote controls that always seem to vanish into couches.

[alexei]

better luck tomorrow...(i still love ur comics)

[Fair Witness]

I guess she had nothing Toulouse.

[Cathy Dee]

All I ever found in my couch was 46 cents, three crayons, 14 goldfish, and my cell phone.

[praveen sb]

"Personally, after I hit five or six dry holes in my couch, I stop looking for artwork."

Well, if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.

[D. Mented]

Skiptheb; thank you. I was wondering how a valuable, fragile painting could come out of an old couch still recogniseable.
Raskolnikov; thank you for trashing Christo; he DESPERATELY needs it.(How can I get that much money for doing something lame over and over and over..."Oh, what an inspiration ...I'll put fabric on THIS!...Such a bold change in course from putting fabric on that...")
Myself, I'd be happy if I could 'discover' where I put that extra key.
D. Mented

[JoKeR]

Based on year (1605?) and title, "Preparations for the flight to Egypt", I guess Leonardo da Vinci`s chopper was more than a simple drawing... :)

[perila]

nice info here.. thanks..

[Shawn]

Scott, in this peice you sounded like one of those dreadful comics doing a poor job of impersonating Jerry Sienfeld. You where reaching with all of those half-gags.

[dtr]

I actually laughed the hardest at "went for baroque." But that's probably because you suggested it was a bad joke. I have a habit of laughing at the worst jokes in the world.

[dtr]

I actually laughed the hardest at "went for baroque." But that's probably because you suggested it was a bad joke. I have a habit of laughing at the worst jokes in the world.

[Chubby Mike]

[Speaking of dry holes]
That's why they make KY!!!!!

[banter]

The story doesn't say how old the couch was. This is Berlin we're talking about. Isn't it possible that this painting is a hold over from the nazi days when hiding your painting wasn't quite as important as hiding your person. The title for the painting is even more of a clue. Scott's post is really one taken from jewish legend. "Did you hear the one about Rosenberg's fart and the painting?..." Oye veh!

[anon]

http://science.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/11/01/0316215&from=rss

Thought you'd find this interesting. I did not read the full article but from the summary it seems wierd that they arrived at this conclusion based on the experiment.

[Xavier]

"She went for baroque."

classic

[Sam Davis]

Going for Baroque was a joke we used to (endlessly) use when I was a classical music host on public radio. There were some other ones, which, after a Thursday that seemed like a Monday, escape me.

I once found a roll of bills in my couch, adding up to $500. Unfortunately for me, I immediately realized that it belonged to my friend David who'd been sitting there the previous night drinking Heineken and watching a college football game with me. David was *very* appreciative when I returned the money. Then, I was Baroque again.

[Yuriy]

Usually I don't find puns very amusing, but the 'baroque' one started me on a fresh wave of laughter just as the cat one was dying out.

Still, you have to consider, for every second-hand couch with a valuable object inside, how many have rabid rodents?

[Scottin08!]

... went for baroque. ouch. really. ouch.

[Tom Foster]

Excellent post. If only there were somewhere I could read more of this wit and wisdom. I wish, how I wish, the author of this blog had some sort of book out, that I could by from amazon.com. Still, he makes no mention of it, so I assume not . . .

[GuvmentCheese]

Hey Scott, I just realized you have a new book out. I'm surprised you didn't try to plug it in today's post.

I'm sure you'll remember to do that next time, though!

[Monkey Wrench]

Please explain to us non-native English readers: What does baroque mean in this context?

[Nomi]

You ain't slipping.

[Stomper]

Naw, the last joke was fine. If it isn't baroque, don't fix it.

No, I didn't steal that one. Cogsworth stole it from ME.

--Stomper

[cb]

I once found the porn stash of a previous occupant of my apartment when I was moving in. It was placed in the back of the highest shelf of a bedroom closet. It was a one bedroom apartment, so I am not sure why the porn was hidden. But the weirdest part: my sister's husband was friends with the previous occupant. That is just all sorts of creepy.

[DML]

"Personally, after I hit five or six dry holes in my couch, I stop looking for artwork. But not this plucky student. She went for baroque.

Speaking of dry holes, I should have stopped this post one joke sooner."

This would have been the perfect time to add something about how we could get more top notch humor like that in your new book!

[Dawn]

"NOT THE DRY HOLES" wah crying laughing. warped. and somehow like-mindeds all converge here... Rita Mae and Hola should make their own Monkey-Brained book pitches. I'm not even a most robot... I robotically follow one... "How does it feel to be a member of a horde?" c'mon scott you remember the line? give me a cheap thrill and reply... (pathetic sure but it's been dry holes everywhere...)

[niCk(MemBeth)]

Ok Enough.

Speaking of "Dry Holes", this blog post, as with all the posts this week, have been dusty wells.

Please, we need some intellectual stimulation. PLEASE!!!!

[Steve Yuen]

Scott, only slightly off-topic, congratulations on getting a column into today's editorial section of the Wall Street Journal. It's safe to say that you got that paying gig not because of your core cartooning business, but because you have expanded your expertise to economic theory, as evidenced by your many blog posts (including this one)on the topic.

And continuing with the scatological theme of this post and its comments, congratulations are also due for getting the word "turd" into the WSJ editorial section, not once but twice. Another first. Pulitzer Committee take note.

[John]

"She went for baroque." - I just peed (sp?) myself.

[Martin Price]

Anybody can make fart jokes in a blog, but a "turd" reference in the Wall Street Journal? That's an achievement.

[rita mae]

DAMN! I should have known I couldn't fool you, Scott. I was hoping you would just say [Yes.] Then I could say that you already answered and I got you. You're one sharp cookie. Beat me to the punch!

BTW -- MR CHRIS -- was that a real gorilla in the video? I think not. Had too much rhythm. And, no, I'm not going to take it a step further and comment on who could have been in the suit with lots of rhythm, and shame on all of you for thinking it, of course, wasn't a white man, but perhaps someone else. I mean it. Shame!

Scott, do you love me? One more answer? Just a "yes" or "no?" C'mon. My fans are waiting to see your reaction. And don't pretend you didn't see this. You know you screen everything, big boy.

Rita Mae

[James Yeamans]

I guess your own couch can be your canvas. Ooops!-- that was a real Rembrandt. Did you say the painting was of the "scratch & sniff" variety? I'm tearing my used couch apart right now....

[MaxHedrm]

1. Owning a Baroque painting by an unknown artist doesn't make you rich, it means you have a family heirloom.

2. Scott, since it was a sofa sleeper, 90% of your jokes are pointless & uninformed. Call me a stickler, but humor at the sake of accuracy isn't funny. Nor is it hard.

[Gareth]

There's nothing like a good pun. That was nothing like a good pun.

[Rand]

Yeah - that last one elicited an audible groan.

[Ace]

"Speaking of dry holes, I should have stopped this post one joke sooner."

Yep, that's whatcha call one overstuffed blog post...

[tubaguy]

Your farts smell like popcorn?!?

I guess vegetarianism does have its benefits.

[SlowMovingTarget]

Rita Mae,

I believe that this was a reference to Scott's chewing-gum-based crevice exploration device, so yes, that reference covers it.

Regards,

SlowMovingTarget

[Mark Harrison]

Interestingly, this pun doesn't travel well across the Atlantic.

We here in England, pronounce Baroque to rhyme with "clock" or "rock", and not to rhyme with "croak."

Only the apology for the pun made me realise that a pun had been intended :-o

[David]

After reading your post I immediately tore into my couch looking for a Monet that I hadn't seen in a while. What I found was a highly acclaimed, best-selling book from the year 2015. It was entitled ‘Stick to writing funny ass blog posts, Monkey-butt!’ by Scott Adams. Suffice to say the chapter on how society became addicted to injecting monkey stem cells into their rectums around the year 2009 was hilarious.

[Adam]

She's not baroque, she's got Monet .

[rita mae]

Scott, sometimes people ask questions and you answer them. If I asked a good question, would you answer me? I will think of a really good one if you say yes.

Rita Mae

[Yes, but only one question. And you just asked it. -- Scott]

[Jay]

Funny story about valuable art discovered in secondhand couch. You go fratboy humor.

You win. I'm out.

[dsg]

The pun is pretty good, although I laughed much harder at today's strip. I plan to use the shopping line as frequently as possible, it even comes with a handy retort if necessary. Thanks.

Where are the cruelty to animal complaints? The fake bladder with a zipper in my cat creeped me out a bit.

[synapticmisfires]

I thought you might have been laying the fart humor on a little heavy, but "went for baroque", that's timeless. Bravo.

[Jane Rohan]

Scott:

I have to agree with Billy Arvia-farts are funny. Even the word is funny. Thanks for a good laugh.

Jane

[disembodied consciousness]

Where's the religion angle? Where's the no-free-will angle. This monkey wants to DANCE!!!

[Pam]

I think you're right. A lot of people must have farted in the general direction of that painting.

Here's a question for you. Why are fart jokes so funny? One man I know (who I happen to live with) thinks it's funny every single time he farts - and he farts a lot...

I admit, I think this is pretty funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fccrd8cMKNA

[ChrisTheDBA]

Off topic, but as a new husband I thought you might like the following:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7073098.stm

[Skiptheb]

OK, just so you know...

I live in Vienna Austria and have a couch just like the student bought (saw a picture of it).

In the 50s and 60s just like the wierd furniture we had in the states for our "recrooms" the germans also had some cheap stuff and one of them was this couch that by lifting the seat part until it clicked, the back of the couch would lay flat and make a damn uncomfortable bed. Under the seat part was place to store the blankets and pillows for the unfortunate sleeper to use. That was where the picture was.

[.marc]

speaking of dry holes, thanks for not stopping this post one joke later :)

[jakesdad]

I had a creative writing teacher who proclaimed to us that:

"the pun is the lowest form of humor! I hate puns! do NOT submit stories to me with puns!"

so naturally somebody in the class submitted a story with as many puns as he could possibly cram into ten pages. he got a A and the teacher said he laughed his head off and was blow away that someone could fit than many puns into a short story without it feeling "forced".

[hola]

At least she wasn't humping the couch, as far as we know.

[James from Canada]

Technically the last joke in your post, is the post making fun of your last joke... which isn't the boroque joke in that case... it is the joke making fun of itself... it actually make your last joke the funniest, due to the extra thought it provokes thoughts (esp. about writer intention, and reader perception).

Thanks for creating an environment in which my brain chooses (*cough*) to think.

[E]

Scott,

A good pun is it's own reword.

On a related note, I'm giving a couch to goodwill this weekend..

I'll be sure to check it for $30,000, hidden faberge' eggs, and small velvet lint / cheeto crumb covered bags of uncut diamonds that might have gotten stuck in the cushions.

Good tip.

[rita mae]

OK. FRISKY BEAVER. It's a consensus. It's just you.

Great post. Only thing missing was "penis." But it was implied by [Personally, after I hit five or six dry holes in my couch, I stop looking for artwork.] Or maybe not. I just thought "hole" and figured Scott might be drilling the couch.

Bobby told me he doesn't understand some of your jokes. I told him he would when he hit puberty. Right?

Rita Mae

[Raskolnikov]

That's nothing. Christo once hid 37 couches inside one of his artworks.

Poor Christo. His life must be total shit now that photoshopping is so easy. These days any Art 101 student can drape the Reichstag with just that funky airbrush tool.

The neighborhood kids are like "HEY CHRISTO! I draped the full moon! Yeah I did! See here's the photo before they made me take it down. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" And then he's all "Get off my lawn!!"

[Jeffrey G. Harper]

'Experts believe the work, titled "Preparations for the flight to Egypt," was painted between 1605 and 1610 by an unknown artist with ties to Venetian painter Carlo Saraceni.'

I'd find the expert opinions to be much more credible if the painting didn't show the flight crew at Frankfurt International Airport preparing a turboprop Austrian Airlines plane for its trip to Cairo International Airport.

Disclaimer: Anything in this post relating to humor, while intended, is also purely accidental. Anyone who should happen to chuckle at this post should immediately have their funnybone checked for unusual warping.

[Real Live Girl]

Damn! Not too long ago, some guy told me he could produce a masterpiece in his sofabed. Something about that smelled bad to me so I took a pass. Oh well, he didn't look all that frisky anyway so it was probably a little baroque. :P

[MrChris]

I think that you should get a personal drummer gorilla to beat out the 'Bah Dum Tssshhh' after all your 'bad' puns. For an example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnzFRV1LwIo

Enjoy.

[Sam]

You should always go for one last joke, I almost spit out my coffee when I read "she went for baroque."

[J Jetzen]

You had all of the elements for a funny book plug...Hidden object, farts, and a smell. I am disappointed that you did not go for it!

Example: Speaking of things that you want to hide in the couch, that smell like popcorn, and are also a gas...Don't forget to purchase a copy of my new book!

[Paul C]

Hi Scott

As an impoverished undergrad (sophomore to Americans) at UEA Norwich, I moved into a student house previously ocupied by rich double-barreled names from the English upper classes. They were doing things like Fine Art Appreciation and drama - university courses best undertaken by people who already have lots of family money behind them, and who don't need to worry about working for a living after they graduate (bastards)

Anyway, we re-christened the sofa The Money Fountain, as so many rich gits (the sort of people to whom a ten pound note is fiddling small change) had been sitting on it with leaky pockets over the years, that the thing was chocca with cash.

We must have pulled over hundred quid out of that sofa by the end... small change to them, a month's food and a couple of beers to four of us!

and they never noticed...

[Boozeheimer]

Dear Scott,
Are the five or six dry holes in your Sofa anyhow related to yesterday's story?

[Not the dry ones. -- Scott]

[Jens Fiederer]

"went for baroque"?

There is a thin line between humor and sadism.

[Boozeheimer]

To Michael: The story happened in Berlin and was on German newspapers earlier this week.

[RavenBlack]

I shall now try to remind you on a periodic basis for the rest of your life that you once said "went for baroque".

[Lake]

I HAVE to disagree. Your last joke was the best. On a related note, screw your fans. Next time you need a throw-away comic, do an outrageous pun, like those found in the early comics. Please!? There are about 20 people on Earth who can do puns well. You are one of them. The fact that 20 million people respond to puns with whining should not be an excuse to bury talent!

[Scott Aduhms]

If you really hate my guts and want to fart right in my face, consider buying my latest book and hiding it in your couch:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591841852?ie=UTF8&tag=dilbertcom-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1591841852

[SweetTooth]

How much candy have you been able to get away from your step-kids?

[Some Moist Robot]

Hey, monkey brain, you forgot to mention your new book: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1591841852?ie=UTF8&tag=dilbertcom-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1591841852

[Steve]

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like your slipping a little bit.

[I'm fairly certain it's you. -- Scott]

Haha!

I know it is human nature, but you seem to reply to negative posts a lot more than positive or informative posts. Unless you crave negative attention, it seems that given your moist robot theory would say you should provide positive feedback on the posts you like and ignore the others.

Also, why didn't you pimp your book? I was on the bubble about buying it. "If it posts about it one more time, it must be REALLY good and I'll buy it" I thought to myself.

[Michael]

Hi Scott,
just read that post, and after chekcing the link, found out that the story alledgedly took place in Germany. I just happen to live there, and I wonder why I haven't heard that story, whiile it made it all the way to the US.

I think we should not rule out the possiblity that the Reuthers guys got high lighting their own farts on fire (there, I slipped in a fart reference, too), and just made the whole thing up.

Unlikely, I know, but still...

PS: Fart-Art shortens nicely to fartart, which I see as a new and coming genre... didn't Beuys once pee on a copper sheet and sell it as art? I might be wrong here...

Excuse me while I slash open my swivel-chair: Mike

[Alan]

"I’m guessing the painting would have fetched a lot more if it didn’t smell like popcorn."

Could have been worse like broccoli or asparagus.

Great post.

[Howie]

Please keep to humour posts and not this drivel.

[Diana Wales]

I'm guessing the painting wound up there in a divorce. The husband hid the painting there, figuring the wife would let him have the sofa bed since he'd already been sleeping on it. But he seemed to want it, so she sold it instead, just to spite him. I'm guessing there's a coin collection in his tool box too.

[Nate]

This would have been far more entertaining if it was what I originally read it to be, "Student finds painting in crotch".

[jerry w.]

2 days of good jokes, with 0 plugs for new book,

2 days of good jokes, with 0 plugs for a restaurant,

Who are you and what did you do with the body of Scott Adams?

P.S. Could you stick around for the rest of the year?

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[ctea]

Classy post.

[Cooljoshie]

"went for baroque"

It's ok - I like the groaners. It's the type of joke I tell, but then again I never get any laughs.

Yep, funny post.

If you ask me though (and you're not, but I'll say it anyway), I think you've been writing this blog for your next book - I haven't seen anything philisophical in a week.

[LA Clay]

Stop the post one joke sooner? I must have missed the jokes, I though we were all, like , intelemegent and stuff here.

[WATYF]

"She went for baroque."

Sadly, this is the only line that got a chuckle out of me. Damn you and your puns!

:OP

WATYF

[Helen]

If you're interested in odd news, you might like this iteem about a bus in Hampshire, England.

http://www.oceanfm.co.uk/Article.asp?id=499394&spid=17757

[friskybeaver]

Maybe it's just me, but it seems like your slipping a little bit.

[I'm fairly certain it's you. -- Scott]

[Billy Arvia]

Scott,

I have repeated over and over, farts are just funny. They never fail to get a laugh.

I don't need a Picasso in my couch. My farts are masterpieces.

http://triplebee.squarespace.com/journal/2007/7/11/they-are-just-funny.html

[rob kay]

On of the funniest things about it, I thought, was the fact it was one of those hide-a-bed couches. I mean, if I was rich enough to own centuries old paintings, I don't think that inside a couch would be out of the question. It's got a large flat spot to put, and who would think to look there? But if I was that rich, I think I could afford a regular bed, and not have to merge my bed and my couch into a single purchase. I just can't imagine anyone that rich requiring a sofa bed.

[DiscumBob]

"went for baroque"