Scientists have discovered that kangaroos don’t fart as much as cows. This is more important than you might think. Cow flatulence is actually a big contributor to global warming. Scientists think they can isolate and transfer the stomach bacteria from kangaroos to cows to make the cows digest more efficiently. Problem solved.
Am I the only one who smells a rat here?
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the only big animal that “allegedly” doesn’t fart is also the one that is famous for a lot of hopping. I’d like to see the slow motion replay. Are kangaroos pushing off with their legs, or just blasting off the ground, rocket-style, and blaming a nearby cow?
“Geez, Bob, was that you?”
“No, I was just hopping. It must have been a cow. You know how they are.”
When I hear a story like this, my first reaction is “How can I invest in this trend?” I’m going to buy stock in companies that make fence posts, because when the cows get kangaroo bacteria, and it works the opposite way the scientists think, the current fences won’t hold them in. Cows will be hopping around like The Incredible Hulk.
Come to think of it, I’d like to see the Hulk jumping in slow motion too, just to be sure it isn’t the legumes that are making him angry.