The Hit Song You Wrote

The other day I asked you to contribute nonsense lyrics that could be combined into a hit song, under the theory that many hit songs have nonsense lyrics, so writing them can’t be that hard.

A band in Germany, called RIVO DREI (http://www.rivodrei.de/en/) picked out the best of your nonsense lyrics and strung them together to create an actual song that is a sure hit. The random lyrics sound amazingly like they might mean something deep if only you concentrated a little harder. And it’s catchy. These guys are brilliant, on a variety of levels, including marketing, obviously.

Here’s a link to the song, assuming the server doesn’t have traffic issues. The lyrics are pasted below.

http://www.rivodrei.de/musik/RivoDreiSheAmazedMe.mp3

She Amazed Me
------------------------

She had runaway eyes and marshmallow kittens.
My heart heard a dream like ten thousand mittens.

A tear in her hand
She spread deja-vu all across the land.

br:
She spinned round and round with a frog in her ear
Whispering fountains and rocks she couldn't hear

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

Too many times I have seen the thunder
Flashes of sound, soul-rending sunder

A letter colored blue...
Now the nine bells are ringin' and singin' it too

br:
She spinned round and round with a frog in her ear
Whispering fountains and rocks she couldn't hear

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

br:
Little did she know they were coming too soon,
Both those kittens ran off to the moon

ch:
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.
Oh, she amazed me!
With her love, she tazed me.
Oh, she amazed me!
With splendid reprisal, she took to the sky.
My tear drops asunder. No shadow. No cry.
Apple core ostriches dancing like fairies.
And it escapes me
how she outer spaced me.

Comments

[Elly Farish]

you said i feel where once were wings
your face could make angels sing
you said you'd never leave
you said dont worry baby
it'll be all right
i want you to hear me screaming

Love me
the same way i love you to
moving as it was a dream
floating down that love machine
love me .. mmhmm.
the same way you ust to do

as i hovered overhead
belieing all the things you said
reflexs seem so far away
and wishing ic ould see you today
you always said i was your star
driving in that sports car
that girl was such a flirt
that made me really heart

love me the same way i love you to
moving as it was a dream
floating down that love machine
love me ...mmhmm..
the sme way u ust to do
love me the same way i love you too moving as it was
a dream floating down that love machine
love me the same way u ust too DOOOO....

[Oliver]

i wish there was any money from this to split, guys...

i'm happy to split the bill for the 1.2 terabytes of bandwidth caused by downloads of this song, hehe. ;-)

or the 15 minutes of fame we got in the english speaking world. everyone gets a minute, yeehah!

the singer of this song

[Diggs]

I think what needs to happen is someone should take this song and go to the American Idol auditions....its so non-nonsensical that it would more than likely make the highlight reel....

[shane]

haha funny song

[shane]

haha those songs are HILARIOUS

[Guillaume Theoret]

That song was pure amazing. Great job!

[Gerd]

The story sounds good but I think it is a sham. At least half the way.

"A band ... picked out the best of your nonsense lyrics and strung them together... The random lyrics..."
They did fine but the lyrics are no random lyrics. Did anyone notice that even the first two lines were not the original ones? Take enough of randum stuff and you can put together a Dilbert blog or something.

For not only baaing I will try to do some music with a real random selection. I am curious if it will work. I suppose my English is bad enough for not wondering about the lyrics.

"He (Paul McCartney) admitted that most, if not all, Beatles songs were random words and thoughts strung together."
That describes common conversation, isn't it?

[Garth Palmer]

There is a great song called Royal Jelly, featured on the Walk Hard soundtrack, which is intentionally nonsensical and deep-sounding. "It's not nonsense, it's just ...deep" was the introductory line. The lyrics follow:

Mailboxes drip like lampposts in the twisted birth canal of the coliseum
Rim job fairy teapots mask the temper tantrum
O' say can you see 'em
Stuffed cabbage is the darling of the Laundromat
'N the sorority mascot sat with the lumberjack
Pressing passing stinging half synthetic fabrication of his-- Time
The mouse with the overbite explained how the rabbits were ensnared
'N the skinny scanty sylph trashed the apothecary diplomat
Inside the three-eyed monkey within inches of his toaster oven life

In my mind
I'm half blind
My inner ref
Is mostly deaf
I'm smell impaired
If you cared
My sense of taste is wasted on the phosphorescent orange peels of San Francisco axe-encrusted frenzy

So let me touch you
Let me touch you
Let me touch you
Let me touch you
Where the Ro-yal Jelly gets made

Coleratura singers bringing weeds and social clingers
Hangers-on and fancy flingers
To the dress ball
Mushrooms and bowling pins
Stove pipe hats and other things I can't recall
From Juvenile hall
We're so unlucky and stuff
Woodrow Wilson never had it so tough
Dairy Queen and Vaseline and Maybelline
Paul Bunyan and James Dean

Allegory agencies of pre-Raphaelite paganry
And Shenandoah tapestries
Compared with good mahogany
Collapsing the undying postcard romance
With feline perspicacity
By the university
That night I held a paucity
Which you deemed common courtesy
I wasn't what you thought I'd be
I shouldn't have invited you to dance

In my tree
I'm halfway free
And in my chair
One quarter there
In my dream
One-sixteenth cream
In the coffee of the Courtier
Of the sycophant assistant to the king

So let me touch you
Let me touch you
Let me touch you
Let me touch you
Where the Ro----yal Jelly gets made

[azw88]

Heck with royalties, I want to see all of the names listed on the songwriting credits!!!

Since distributing royalties to those that contributed lyrics would be more expensive than the actual money each would receive, I think that the $$ should go to some charity...

but not to pay Scott's lost bet to McCain. (didn't you hear GWB last night? Under his breath he said "Scott Adams, you owe McCain $1K!)

[Gareth Young]

The snare drum sounds bloody awful in this track. Someone buy this band a gate.

[Brian Mork]

I realized that no one had made a CD cover for what I can only assume will be this amazing album... so I took the liberty of mashing some images together to make one. Small (175x175), Medium (400x400), and Large (832x832) versions, because everything is better in threes (with the possible exception of quintuplets).

Your iTunes cover flow will now look complete again (unless you're just really into that blank image look, and thing it's trendy and making a statement, which it very well might be). Enjoy. :)

http://www.unit571.com/dil_cd/rd_tds_small.jpg
http://www.unit571.com/dil_cd/rd_tds_med.jpg
http://www.unit571.com/dil_cd/rd_tds_large.jpg

[Ralph Woods]

This song is not nonsense. Nonsense is not only a lack of meaning, but a lack of context or purpose as well. This song took a lot of random sentences and put them in a context which gave it all a meaning.

The way it turned out, it is about a guy who is so struck by a woman, regular language conventions can't describe his feelings. Like that scene from Contact where Jodie Foster is staring into the fabric of reality and says "a poet... they should've sent a poet...", or a normal person trying to describe sound → color synesthesia.

[Kevin Kunreuther]

Who's getting paid? Did all contributors lose right to earn any monies or credit on this recording because they submitted them according to terms of forum?
That's the only reason I didn't submit this time because I knew something like this was going to happen. I got royally screwed out of credit and royalties from some Brit-pop band (formerly some former members of the Subway Sect, who morphed into The JoBoxers - no, I'm not Dig Wayne!)when I was nineteen in London.

[kL]

Brilliant! Songwriters are sooo out of jobs now!

Now figure out the same for screenwriting and you'll end hollywood writers' strike ;)

[kman]

Your idea for writing a song was really fun, however the final song kinda sucked. Guess it really isn't as easy as we would want to think.

[Ben Nguyen]

I love this song! I've played it quite a bit!

It *kinda* sounds like the 90's band, Merchants Of Venus.

[Gryffin]

For some reason, it makes me think of some of Weird Al's original songs...tongue in cheek about a topic usually treated as weighty.

[Bruno Berthold]

Lyrics will always come second to the melody and harmony of the song. Simple as that. A great idea, though. Kudos to the lads for taking the time to build the song.

[Jeremy Garnett]

What a great song, I actually have listened to it more than once, your programming of my sub-conscious must have worked ! Oh and I have used your Dilbert widget, it nicely filled a drafty little hole in my website, and as a non-techy I found it surprisingly easy, eventually.

[mh]

I expect Scott and RIVO DREI think y'all are a bunch of suckers for writing a new song for them without pay.

[kebram]

Reminds me of the Indigo Girls

[Krzysztof Wiszniewski]

Great! My question is: who gets the publishing income?

[Mike]

I think all indie bands (and the big ones, too) should record their own version of the same song. I'd love to hear this done as heavy metal, punk, etc. (reggae???)

[ErinP]

The song is awesome. It's already on my mp3 player. I don't think I'm biased, since I only wrote the bridge :-P

[smee]

See, the song is all about drug use and cruelty towards animals:

The lines about déjà vu, seeing thunder and dancing fairies and being outer spaced (spaced out) are hallucinations brought on by the drugs.

Also your hatred of animals is show in the anagram made by the first letter of the first 15 lines:
"A foot Whams Swans"

[John Reedy]

Making dreams come true...

http://awritersblock.com

[scottupnorth]

Best?
How do you judge the value of nonsense phrases?
How do you judge best in the first place, Penn and Teller have a good reply to that.
People need to stop using the word Best when they mean circumstantially appropriate.

[Abe Cubbage]

A good song that made sense to me. Does that disprove the idea that the lyrics are nonsense?

[professor]

Well whaddya know. Sometimes you CAN make chicken salad from chicken sh*t.

[Dramenbejs]

Cool! Is this first Open-Source song? What about creating a wiki with song lyrics to use for free?

[sida zhou]

I've just learned something new again today.. about song writing.

[Steve]

Sweet! My Thunder...Sunder thing is in there.....nice...royalties are sweet! :) wow...1cent a year forever...Porsche here I come!

[Ray]

You can almost see Britney dancing to this song. ..Alright - it's not that bad..
But "Apple core ostriches dancing like fairies." really amazed me.

I'm sure there is some application out there making computer generated lyrics by assembling random words together.

Regards.

[martyman]

Really good song. Could certainly be hit material as far as I'm concerned (certainly if I compare this to the crap that becomes hits nowadays).

OK what do we have to do to get this in the charts and out in public? I'm sure someone from us should have a connection somewhere?

[DrLuke]

Outstanding! But I don't think you're entirely right.

The essential ingredients of a hit song are a musical "hook" which is what catches you, and (ideally) one unforgettable phrase. If you can have both of those in the same bit of the song, then it's a winner.

All the other stuff that you mentioned helps: psychedelic or inscrutable lyrics, etc. but that is really the core.

So, whoever wrote the chorus: amazed, tazed, outerspaced, deserves a royalty check, but I'm not convinced it quite has the "hook" to make it a hit (unless you are listening to it knowing that it is a Dilbert/Scott Adams production).

[Vix]

So now we can sit back and wait for the royalties?

Also, well done to those who submitted the soundalike lyrics like the snippet Chief pointed out: '"A letter colored blue" sounds like "I let her color blue" when sung'. Soundalikes always make songs sell much more while people try to figure out what's being said. And the implication is that the *real* words, the ones you can't quite discern, are incredibly deep and profound and will enrich your life.

[ZAKI]

Unambigiously ambigious sort of enough ....
Much too definite not mists and vapours ...
to the deep...
The song has too much definite things like frogs and stars to be considered a deep song it must have much more ambigous songs and to be a deep song it really should be a audio presentation og mists and vapours i.e above

Also vote bill gates for president !
George Bush for the anitchrist1\
\

[Maurice Condie]

The really clever bit is to use the way in which the lyrics were put together as a selling point.
It would become "cool" to be one of the people who knew the secret... then iw would be "cool and ironic".
The song would be massive BECAUSE it is just random lines and better because everyone knew it.

[Tyler Jorgenson]

That was a fantastic song, it could easily be a hit. Sadly this song seemed to make more sense to me than many current hits.

[Mark]

Those saying music in Germany is all Brit/US need to change radio stations.

[Dan Keene]

Any chance they'll make the instrumental of that song available? I really like the back beat.

[Cassi]

This song is awesome. The performance really is what makes it. Actually, I noticed that the band, Rivo Drei, did try to form some coherent theme with their selections. The theme of being sent into space appears in several lines, and the kittens get tied back in at the end. Still, in general it shows that with quality musical accompaniment and a talented singer, you can turn anything into a hit.

Speaking of, I don't know how popular Rivo Drei is in Deutschland, but they should put together a few songs in English and see if they get picked up in America. Their sound is definitely Top 40 material.

[Jnny]

With her love, she tazed me
Destined to become a classic.

[Danial]

Hmmm...ok..

[Cloud]

Fucking.

Awesome.

[Baylink]

Not bad. bdd has it pretty much on...

The drum mix is a bit rough, but perhaps they meant it to sound like that.

On some reflection, I tied this whole concept into Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" in my latest blog entry... It doesn't make a lot of sense, either...

[Dave Oblad]

Gotta say, the melody was catchy and the lyrics sublime...lol. Wonderful results Scott! Best from Dave :^)

[omniscient]

I love how several of the commenters have shown their ingnorance by admitting that they didn't know that lyrics to pop culture songs were a bunch of nonsense strung together.

Scott, do you ever believe that you are enlightening an educated crowd with your "philosotainment?"

[D. Mented]

I'm just really, really glad my babblings didn't get in there.
D. Mented

[Sung]

Good grief, Mr. Adams.
You're quite an icon!
I wonder how many people in the world could whip up a song by having other people contribute voluntarily.
Anyhow, please don't get too famous that the media will have to kill you.

[Sung]

Good grief, Mr. Adams.
You're quite an icon!
Please don't get too famous that the media will have to kill you.

[Dan Beeston]

This is one of the most entertaining things I've ever experianced on the Internet. Now I'm waiting for covers of the original.

[kkjayne]

My 2yo son danced to it with no encouragement.

[Chugga]

I'm not usually into this kind of music (it sounds kind of boybandish?) but i actually really liked that song and have added it to my playlist :D. It's anecdotal support of the theory i know, but if enough people agree with me does that make it a supporting statistic? it's been too long since i did statistics.

[Kes]

This song has deep meaning to me.

[Nat]

Somehow "Drops Of Jupiter" by Train come to mind. Come thinking of it, most of Red Hot Chili Peppers' lyrics would qualify... as well as most of Dark Tranquility's or Opeth's lyrics. There you have it!

[Matt M]

It is amazing to see it all come together. Well done gentlemen.

[Chad]

I just have to say that I doubted you when you said you could write a hit song out of jibberish. I understand that a lot of songs are jibberish, but I still doubted that it would work. Its really awesome!! And of course now the band has a few more listeners.. congrats all around

[Matt]

Two things: it sounds like Alanis Morissette and LFO. If it was the mid-90s, I think we'd have ourselves a one-hit-wonder on our hands.

[E]

Scott,

Home run. This is hysterical.

To help reward them for their participation in this wonderful experiment (and for using my nine bell line) I shall now throw money at their website if possible.

Any band that would actually put this together and pretty much pull it off gets my vote.

[J]

that's seriously one for american idol

[SoWhy]

Not bad ^^

[henryfu]

Other silly song lyrics:

"...he's a pin-ball wizard, there has to be a twist, a pin-ball wizard has such a supple wrist..." - The Who

"...I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find And we can act like we come from out of this world Leave the real one far behind and we can dance." - Men Without Hats

"...Not quite a year since she went away, Rosanna yeah
Now she's gone and I have to say...Meet you all the way, meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah..." - Toto

"Adult...education...it's a sad situation...Adult...education..." - Hall & Oats

"The woman is wild
a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar,
Money's the matter,
If you're in it for love you ain't gonna get too far
Oh here she comes Watch out boy she'll chew you up " - Hall & Oats

Actually it is a toss-up between the Who and Hall & Oats as to who has the most consistently silly song lyrics. My vote is for Hall & Oates.

[henryfu]

Other silly song lyrics:

"...he's a pin-ball wizard, there has to be a twist, a pin-ball wizard has such a supple wrist..." - The Who

"...I say, we can go where we want to, a place where they will never find And we can act like we come from out of this world Leave the real one far behind and we can dance." - Men Without Hats

"...Not quite a year since she went away, Rosanna yeah
Now she's gone and I have to say...Meet you all the way, meet you all the way, Rosanna yeah..." - Toto

"Adult...education...it's a sad situation...Adult...education..." - Hall & Oats

"The woman is wild
a she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar,
Money's the matter,
If you're in it for love you ain't gonna get too far
Oh here she comes Watch out boy she'll chew you up " - Hall & Oats

Actually it is a toss-up between the Who and Hall & Oats as to who has the most consistently silly song lyrics. My vote is for Hall & Oates.

[Cliff]

I bought a RIVO DREI - Wally, my idol, will watch over me from above. A daily inspiration. Hoo Waw! I'll let you know how it turns out. May have to Jerry rig to fit our luminaires. You might tell people that S&H is $20, and I don't think I was informed of that until after my credit card had been processed. Ain't bitching, but it was a surprise.

Thanks for blogging.

[Rocky]

Excellent.

Now we each need to submit a random equation like 'y = 23x - 4' and have a mathematician string them into the unified theory of physics.

We are on the brink of ruling the world!

[Rocky]

Excellent.

Now we each need to submit a random equation like 'y = 23x - 4' and have a mathematician string them into the unified theory of physics.

We are on the brink of ruling the world!

[Suzette]

I think it's terrific. Now the question is: who gets the credit (and the royalties) for the lyrics??

[Marcel]

Oh wow! 5 stars! I really like this song.

Good challenge there Scott & very good comeback by the band. (damn smart marketing too)

[Leahn Novash]

I think you should ask Bjork to record and make a clip for this music.

[JGoh]

I really think that 'And it escapes me/How she outer-spaced me' is one of the most lyrical lines I've heard in a long time. Kudos for that!

[Dan Keene]

That song was fantastic ... it's amazing how the right beat can bring nonsensical lyrics to life.

[Ace]

Not bad! It lacks the cynical tone needed for a Steely Dan tune, but otherwise it's cryptic and impenetrable enough to fit their style.

[Dwight Schrute]

hahahahahha.... wonderful

[Jaime Bakulic]

amazing!

It DOES sound like a hit song!

It's probably doomed tho, considering the media might find out about it's origins.

Great work.

[Ben]

This made my day.

[henryfu]

That was hilarious. I especially though the part about "...she tazed me..." was brilliant. Other silly lyrics:

"...he's a pinball wizard, there has to be a twist, a pinbal wizard has such a supple wrist" - The Who

"...adult...education...it's a sad situation, adult education..." - Hall & Oats

[Pirateguybrush]

*chuckles*

Fantastic. If you put it on in the background without listening to the lyrics too closely, you wouldn't know it wasn't just a regular song.

I look forward to your theory of everything. I'm sure this is just a warmup.

[Miao]

Das ist sehr gut! Ich liebe es!

[Elizabeth]

this is awesome! And techy is correct- as another expat in Germany- the music here is basically Amer. or Brit. Except Die Toten Hosen and a few other bands...

[ymmat]

It's a song about a hearing-impaired woman with synaesthesia!

[Carol]

"Tousand." The rest of it was pretty convincing, but you can always tell a German by their pronunciation of "th." My parents still do it, even after 50 years here.

Carol

[Matt]

Love the song, very disappointed to see that 'cholesterol' didn't make it in though.

[Alice]

This is too funny!! Thanks for starting my day off with a chuckle.

[charlie]

a surprisingly good song. However, when I heard, "With her love, she tazed me", I thought I heard, "With her love, she tasted me." Much naughtier that way.

[Nimrod]

It's pretty good. I like the idea of a Dilbert music video for this.

[GR Mark]

I felt like I was strapped into the Vogon poetry appreciation chair.

Brilliant!!!

[techy]

German band, of course. When was the last time you heard of a hit from a GERMAN band. The music here is either British or American, which doesn't even make me homesick. Oddest thing I experienced as an expat in Germany is all of the familiar music I could actually sing along with.

[zai]

Now someone should do a Björk imitation of this song.

[Lenn]

Is it just me, or does "Apple core ostriches dancing like fairies" sound like something Ringo Starr would have written for The Beatles? Kudos to whoever came up with that line, and great job sliding it in to the end of the song.

[Kirk]

"With her love, she tazed me."

Yes, sir, that line was a coffee-spitter. Time to proliferate this one through the office...

[ScottM]

I always knew the Partridge Family would make a comeback...

[Sabai]

c'mon, this is really not a good song at all. we're only impressed because of the musicality behind it. people do listen to lyrics even if it's subconscious. people will not be able to even misinterpret these lyrics as poignant.

all this does is show how HARD it is to make a hit song. even with great musicianship behind it, it still takes good writing, even to make pop music with a bubble gum message.

[Ana]

I zap in my ipod, and suddenly, all the songs that used to be nice, now sound like poor Dilbert remixes. I will continue with some Vivaldi, for a while, until you uncover the secret of classic music as well

[pepe]

too cool~ i liked the song, it was fun :) and certainly it's better than most of the junk out there..

[Joe]

When oh when will this be released? With the power you wield on this blog you just have to tell us to buy it and it'll go into the charts.

[Poe]

Wow.

[Ana]

Well, you were right on this one. I can really see this on the top of the charts.

[jerry w.]

So now even music is being outsourced?

Is this a segue into your next post about careers?

Do kids in India dream about growing up to do phone customer service for a U.S. company?

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Brad]

Oh man, that's awesome! They did a great job.

[Andy Watt]

It doesn't really say "spinned round" does it?

You'd think the Kylie fan who submitted that one would have proofread it first.

AW

[rita mae]

Good job. Like it.

Rita Mae

[matthew Harper]

Very cool indeed.

[Blablevic]

Damn, this is funny. It also changed my views about music lyrics!

[Andrew]

I will point out, it took some skilled musicians to put it together and add the necessary pacing and accompaniments.

[Chief]

A good song. Sounds a little inspired by TMBG or BNL.
"A letter colored blue" sounds like "I let her color blue" when sung.

[bdd]

I think they did a spectacular job. As a gigging musician in Austin, you people can say what you want buy they put together a well-sounding recording in a few days just to amuse you.

Be nice.

The parts were well arranged, and Scott's point was made. I don't think we could have done a better job, and I've always been mystified at lyrics, not because they're nonsense as most of them are, but that they are actually written about someone or something in particular from time to time.

Maybe there's something to be said for the veil simply being lifted. The way that watching a recorded football game loses something at the core visceral level, listening to this song knowing that it wasn't written for a real girl puts every word into doubt, changes the way I listened to it.

They did a great job, the song is fun, poppy, well suited to the task, and manages to pull the whole joke off. Now, they need it to become a huge hit in Germany to show all you people how unbelievably wrong you all most certainly are.

[ken]

that is great

[Matt Brown]

Irrefutable proof that one of Scott's theories is dead on. Good song with disturbing lyrics. Can anyone say Kasey Kasem?

[surreal]

Dear sir,

You ruined my pleasure by simplifying comedy, now you ruined my music. I hope you your diet coke tastes sour.

Warm regards.

[MHH]

That's great! Is there a psychedelic Dilbert video of the song in the future?

[FLC]

Kind of sounds like Howard Jones Things can only get better

[JoePike]

Those of us whose lyrics they used will love it. Those of us whose lyrics got dismissed will think it sucks. (Like me!)

Actually, it's pretty good- strung together nicely, and no worse than all the other grovel out there!

I think we were all expecting to see YOUR version of our hit song Scott...we all only contributed our brilliant lyrics to see you put the song together in the end. I guess that wasn't really your plan and we shouldn't ASSuME.