May 2008

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Comments

Nico Voskamp

I think it should be the other way around: the Dilbert doll should begin the day all curled up. During the day it should uncurl, get shinier, happier towards the end of the day. When it is time to go home it lits up like a christmas tree and whishes you a very good evening/weekend/holiday. Now you go home even more positive.

Martin

see also
http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2008/03/31/tengu_firebox/

(Obviously, the music stimuli will have to be replaced by authentic employee utterances, such as
"Our new Mission Statement is FANTASTIC!", "I LOVE that Vision!" &c.)

Jay

Lol @ the punching bag. Every engineer needs a punching bag.

Also that's a nice flower design you have on the chair.

Marty

Yes, I know it is a late comment, but I've only just read the blog!

Someone may have already suggested this but to add to some of the comments I read I think go for an on-screen Dilbert (like the annoying MS paperclip). If you tune your pc's bluetooth (or have a USB receiver) to your boss's cellphone the onscreen Dilbert could disappear when PHB arrives (like the groundhog suggestion). You could also tune it into your own cellphone so Dilbert is happy when you are around.

The other way you could do it is plant a transmitter on your boss (or even insert one into them - more fun) but I think the cell phone would be easier.

Jeff Webster

You should consider an alcoholic Dilbert doll – or maybe “the morning after” mood doll that comes in like hell warmed over and gradually feels better as the day goes on and by five is great, energized and ready to go to the bar!

Adrian

Some excellent ideas here but I believe that a Digital Dilbert is the way to go as it can truely reflect mood.

I think the Desktop Dilbert should monitor keystrokes and software opened. The words typed could have a direct influence on Dilbert eg synergy, coffee, memo, email, staff meeting, Facebook etc

I'm also thinking that if you coupled an RSS feed into the Dilbert your co-workers could subscribe to your moods feed... Oh look, they already do that by looking at you and listening to you :)

Adrian

Ned

Seems that a simple wind-up mechanical clockwork kind of thing would work. As the mainspring is wound up, the Dilbert doll would perk up; as the spring winds down, so does the doll. This had an added benefit - if, during the day, something positive happens, you could rewind the doll and start the process over. You might also have a release switch to wind down the doll precipitously if an "aw shit" happens early on to ruin the whole day.

It involves some user input, but if you put "doll maintenance" on your "to do" list, at least you'll have SOMETHING useful to cross off each day - so among other things, the doll will ensure that the day isn't wholly shot-to-hell.

Ned

tubaguy

The coke machines light up when I walk into the lounge.

Tim Osmond

Great idea with minor flaw. It assumes all people become negative and less productive as the day wears on. What about those of us who actually enjoy our positions and don't go downhill as the day progresses? Does the Dilbert figure get perkier? I work 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. Mon-Fri. Pretty close to ideal in my mind. Develop a figure that grows more positive with each passing hour and I'll buy it.

Anushke

Just create a widget that will be on the users desktop...

thru the day he will grow pale and curl up... in his digital world..

why we can even adjust his background even then... heavy work in office... just put a background with lot of papers and mess...

feeling joyful in the morning... dress it up in something bright...

then the cost is not much... unless it gets pirated... we can put a subscriber system, where he blurts something personally from you :P

etc etc...

then even the widget can be free, and revenue from the subscriptions...

Matthew Kovich

People would lose their jobs over this doll. You'll have to post a lot of resume's on your blog.

Kirubakaran A

If you have it ready by Christmas, this could be something.

C. David Dent

You will need an air compressor and a timer. You set the timer for start of day and end of day times. Just prior to the start of the day (say 30 mins) it inflates your Dilbert doll.

Gradually over the day the inflatable Dilbert is deflated until he is flat and lifeless as the deflated balloon he is.

Every day he repeats the cycle of inflation/erection deflation/flacidity until your batteries run dry and he just lays there like an old man's penis.

The idea is free. Enjoy!

Kristina L.

I think the Dilbert doll should be miserable for a while in the morning because I'm not a morning person. It would have to perk up at random times of the day.

C. David Dent

You will need an air compressor and a timer. You set the timer for start of day and end of day times. Just prior to the start of the day (say 30 mins) it inflates your Dilbert doll.

Gradually over the day the inflatable Dilbert is deflated until he is flat and lifeless as the deflated balloon he is.

Every day he repeats the cycle of inflation/erection deflation/flacidity until your batteries run dry and he just lays there like an old man's penis.

The idea is free. Enjoy!

aaron

It's been 7 years... so has there been any serious take up or interest in the idea?

WCE

I found a droopy worker-doll once that was so fitting that I bought one.

It was made to look like a guy in a suit, but it was actually a beanbag, so any position you put it in, it slumped and looked exhausted and depressed.

I felt it was a work of genius, myself.

Bill Weitze

It'll never work, and someone is already doing it.

D. Mented

What I'd want from Dilbert (or Alice, or Carol) is cheerful, perky comments that degrade to really inventive obscenities, insults, and blasphemy, then tired, resigned brushoffs. Digital storage being what it is these days, the selection in each comment category could be enough not to hear the same phrase twice a month.
It could be triggered by the word "Dilbert" such as "What do you think, Dilbert?" "I think we can make this work!"(am comment) "Who wrote this code - a dyslexic babboon?" (late am)and so forth.
Wilting and shrivelling, I can get from a potted plant, my co-workers' faces, sometimes the mid-level management (one boss asked me "Do you have a gun?" "Yes - at home" "Could you bring it in tomorrow and shoot me?" He didn't know how tempted I was, or how popular that would have made me)
D. Mented

Dale

a plastic dilbert blow up doll; you pump it up in the morning and it slowly leaks air all day *(from a small valve) so it is lifeless at the end of the day (usually 11 hours in my case)
can I get my royalty check and stay home?
thanks Scott for making me smile in the evenings

John

Scott, a quick story having nothing to do with your entry:

I was watching my Dilbert DVDs last night while finishing some work in my bedroom. My wife (8 months pregnant) was sleeping and the episode "The Fact" was on... she rolled over (as best she could) about halfway through the show and asked, "Did they just say 'Chronic PUBE-ICAL Syndrom?"

Everytime they said 'Chronica Cubical Sydrom' throughout the rest of the episode my wife laughed uncontrollably and even started having some contractions.

Bob

I have to say that I'd get in line to buy the flower! The mere thought of it perking up when I entered my cubicle brought as mile to my face.

As for the other Dilbert toy, how about one of the electronic frames that is programmed to show Dilbert all happy and chipper in the morning sitting at his desk, and as the day goes on he gets worse and worse and the desk gets messier and messier. You can set it up so that the person can program the time and sync it to their normal day - and you can periodically drop in other Dilbert characters just for fun.

Jeff

It'd make an excellent humidifier as well, if you make it sponge-like.

Bill

Why does it has to be mechanical ? How about a Dilbert Background for your monitor that you can select the mood to show up ?

DWH

If the doll was connected to your computer, you could send a code when the boss shows up to your cubicle to have the doll sigh and or do a soul crushing death rattle.

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