Dilbert Product Idea

Someone needs to invent a Dilbert doll for the office that mirrors your mood during the day as the life force is drained from your body. I imagine the little doll sitting there looking all bright and fresh when you come in to work. Over the course of the day, he starts to slump in his chair and turn pale. Eventually he shrivels up like a dried leaf and rolls into a fetal position. That’s when you know it is time to go home.

Misery loves company, so I think people would like having a little Dilbert doll to share the pain.

I’m not sure how you would engineer a toy like that. Perhaps it would be like one of those little sponge animals that you drop in a glass of water and it expands into a much larger one. You could water the Dilbert at the start of each day, making him plump and happy to begin, and he would shrivel up as he dehydrated, eventually curling into a tight little ball.

Watering the Dilbert every day would be a hassle. A mechanical version would be easier, if you could somehow engineer him to change colors and slump and shrivel  and still sell for less than $20.

A number of years ago I worked with design company IDEO to create Dilbert’s Ultimate Cubicle. It had a number of fun features, including a fake flower that sensed motion and reacted when you entered or exited. When you left, it wilted. When you entered, it perked up. Our thinking was that this might be the only time during your workday that your existence was recognized. It would feel good, like being greeted by your dog, but without the drool and fleas. The Dilbert doll could do the same as the flower. He could sleep or slump when you leave, and perk up and start working when you enter. He’d be like a little friend. Wouldn't you want one of those?

Here’s a link to Dilbert’s Ultimate Cubicle. It doesn’t mention the cool flower feature.

http://www.ideo.com/dilbert/index.htm

Comments

[Nico Voskamp]

I think it should be the other way around: the Dilbert doll should begin the day all curled up. During the day it should uncurl, get shinier, happier towards the end of the day. When it is time to go home it lits up like a christmas tree and whishes you a very good evening/weekend/holiday. Now you go home even more positive.

[Martin]

see also
http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2008/03/31/tengu_firebox/

(Obviously, the music stimuli will have to be replaced by authentic employee utterances, such as
"Our new Mission Statement is FANTASTIC!", "I LOVE that Vision!" &c.)

[Jay]

Lol @ the punching bag. Every engineer needs a punching bag.

Also that's a nice flower design you have on the chair.

[Marty]

Yes, I know it is a late comment, but I've only just read the blog!

Someone may have already suggested this but to add to some of the comments I read I think go for an on-screen Dilbert (like the annoying MS paperclip). If you tune your pc's bluetooth (or have a USB receiver) to your boss's cellphone the onscreen Dilbert could disappear when PHB arrives (like the groundhog suggestion). You could also tune it into your own cellphone so Dilbert is happy when you are around.

The other way you could do it is plant a transmitter on your boss (or even insert one into them - more fun) but I think the cell phone would be easier.

[Jeff Webster]

You should consider an alcoholic Dilbert doll – or maybe “the morning after” mood doll that comes in like hell warmed over and gradually feels better as the day goes on and by five is great, energized and ready to go to the bar!

[Adrian]

Some excellent ideas here but I believe that a Digital Dilbert is the way to go as it can truely reflect mood.

I think the Desktop Dilbert should monitor keystrokes and software opened. The words typed could have a direct influence on Dilbert eg synergy, coffee, memo, email, staff meeting, Facebook etc

I'm also thinking that if you coupled an RSS feed into the Dilbert your co-workers could subscribe to your moods feed... Oh look, they already do that by looking at you and listening to you :)

Adrian

[Ned]

Seems that a simple wind-up mechanical clockwork kind of thing would work. As the mainspring is wound up, the Dilbert doll would perk up; as the spring winds down, so does the doll. This had an added benefit - if, during the day, something positive happens, you could rewind the doll and start the process over. You might also have a release switch to wind down the doll precipitously if an "aw shit" happens early on to ruin the whole day.

It involves some user input, but if you put "doll maintenance" on your "to do" list, at least you'll have SOMETHING useful to cross off each day - so among other things, the doll will ensure that the day isn't wholly shot-to-hell.

Ned

[tubaguy]

The coke machines light up when I walk into the lounge.

[Tim Osmond]

Great idea with minor flaw. It assumes all people become negative and less productive as the day wears on. What about those of us who actually enjoy our positions and don't go downhill as the day progresses? Does the Dilbert figure get perkier? I work 11 a.m. until 7 p.m. Mon-Fri. Pretty close to ideal in my mind. Develop a figure that grows more positive with each passing hour and I'll buy it.

[Anushke]

Just create a widget that will be on the users desktop...

thru the day he will grow pale and curl up... in his digital world..

why we can even adjust his background even then... heavy work in office... just put a background with lot of papers and mess...

feeling joyful in the morning... dress it up in something bright...

then the cost is not much... unless it gets pirated... we can put a subscriber system, where he blurts something personally from you :P

etc etc...

then even the widget can be free, and revenue from the subscriptions...

[Matthew Kovich]

People would lose their jobs over this doll. You'll have to post a lot of resume's on your blog.

[Kirubakaran A]

If you have it ready by Christmas, this could be something.

[C. David Dent]

You will need an air compressor and a timer. You set the timer for start of day and end of day times. Just prior to the start of the day (say 30 mins) it inflates your Dilbert doll.

Gradually over the day the inflatable Dilbert is deflated until he is flat and lifeless as the deflated balloon he is.

Every day he repeats the cycle of inflation/erection deflation/flacidity until your batteries run dry and he just lays there like an old man's penis.

The idea is free. Enjoy!

[Kristina L.]

I think the Dilbert doll should be miserable for a while in the morning because I'm not a morning person. It would have to perk up at random times of the day.

[C. David Dent]

You will need an air compressor and a timer. You set the timer for start of day and end of day times. Just prior to the start of the day (say 30 mins) it inflates your Dilbert doll.

Gradually over the day the inflatable Dilbert is deflated until he is flat and lifeless as the deflated balloon he is.

Every day he repeats the cycle of inflation/erection deflation/flacidity until your batteries run dry and he just lays there like an old man's penis.

The idea is free. Enjoy!

[aaron]

It's been 7 years... so has there been any serious take up or interest in the idea?

[WCE]

I found a droopy worker-doll once that was so fitting that I bought one.

It was made to look like a guy in a suit, but it was actually a beanbag, so any position you put it in, it slumped and looked exhausted and depressed.

I felt it was a work of genius, myself.

[Bill Weitze]

It'll never work, and someone is already doing it.

[D. Mented]

What I'd want from Dilbert (or Alice, or Carol) is cheerful, perky comments that degrade to really inventive obscenities, insults, and blasphemy, then tired, resigned brushoffs. Digital storage being what it is these days, the selection in each comment category could be enough not to hear the same phrase twice a month.
It could be triggered by the word "Dilbert" such as "What do you think, Dilbert?" "I think we can make this work!"(am comment) "Who wrote this code - a dyslexic babboon?" (late am)and so forth.
Wilting and shrivelling, I can get from a potted plant, my co-workers' faces, sometimes the mid-level management (one boss asked me "Do you have a gun?" "Yes - at home" "Could you bring it in tomorrow and shoot me?" He didn't know how tempted I was, or how popular that would have made me)
D. Mented

[Dale]

a plastic dilbert blow up doll; you pump it up in the morning and it slowly leaks air all day *(from a small valve) so it is lifeless at the end of the day (usually 11 hours in my case)
can I get my royalty check and stay home?
thanks Scott for making me smile in the evenings

[John]

Scott, a quick story having nothing to do with your entry:

I was watching my Dilbert DVDs last night while finishing some work in my bedroom. My wife (8 months pregnant) was sleeping and the episode "The Fact" was on... she rolled over (as best she could) about halfway through the show and asked, "Did they just say 'Chronic PUBE-ICAL Syndrom?"

Everytime they said 'Chronica Cubical Sydrom' throughout the rest of the episode my wife laughed uncontrollably and even started having some contractions.

[Bob]

I have to say that I'd get in line to buy the flower! The mere thought of it perking up when I entered my cubicle brought as mile to my face.

As for the other Dilbert toy, how about one of the electronic frames that is programmed to show Dilbert all happy and chipper in the morning sitting at his desk, and as the day goes on he gets worse and worse and the desk gets messier and messier. You can set it up so that the person can program the time and sync it to their normal day - and you can periodically drop in other Dilbert characters just for fun.

[Jeff]

It'd make an excellent humidifier as well, if you make it sponge-like.

[Bill]

Why does it has to be mechanical ? How about a Dilbert Background for your monitor that you can select the mood to show up ?

[DWH]

If the doll was connected to your computer, you could send a code when the boss shows up to your cubicle to have the doll sigh and or do a soul crushing death rattle.

[Mark]

Well, it isn't a matter of a cubicle in the office, it's a matter of where my cubicle is.

In the middle of the city. Or *sigh* up on my lake property in the middle of no where. So, when I'm done I could sit on the dock or watch the deer and the eagles and nap in my hammock. Rather than here, in the city.

Actually, I wanted to be an island on a lake, that's on an island in a lake and own the land around it, but the billion dollar price tag was really steep, and so was fight the government that owned it. And it didn't have KA band coverage for satelite internet.

[Victor Prometeo Frankenstein]

Hi Scott,
I think this is a great idea (…or better, ideo), … but let’s go further, …distant from an easy pun.
All seems perfect to me but one thing, that is …who will do the cleaning, I mean, there is too much space for dust ( Dust Fred too) and each sort of things we have to face at home.
If you want a good place to stay with (like a sunny home, …you name it…), you’ll have to spend some extra leisure time, and money too. The big problem now is who or/and what enterprise will bear the cost/overexpenditure of the daily cleaning (I remember You, think of Your home). Per contra I don’t see any problem developing the Dilbert doll; there, You caught the point, that is, keep under control the cost of the D.doll.
Bye ;)
V.P.L.F.

[Tom]

Another idea:

Remember how your mother had a magnet on the refrigerator showing her mode.

Take one of the electronic picture frames and store the picture of Dilbert characters and then you choose the picture that shows your mood.

You can put this picture frame on your desk.

The CEO and CFO get electronic picture frames featuring Dogbert waging his tail.

[Tom]

I think there should be a mood ring that shows a picture of your favorite dilbert character:

Mad - Alice
Happy - Ratbert
Devilish - Dogbert
Resigned - Wally
Dedicated - Dilbert

Genius - Garbage man

[Tom]

I think there should be a mood ring that shows a picture of your favorite dilbert character:

Mad - Alice
Happy - Ratbert
Devilish - Dogbert
Resigned - Wally
Dedicated - Dilbert

Genius - Garbage man

[Eric]

i would TOTALLY buy one!

[patti]

Patti adds:
What about a Dilbert Office Mirror.
It would have Dilberts face smiling at you when you smile and then crying with you as you cry.
You could have audio. "mirror mirror on the wall who's the handsomist/prettiest/smartest.. of them all?"
There could be a button on it that senses vibration and temperature. Maybe you could use this mirror like a magic eight-ball. Dilbert says,"look into my eyes" and he can tell if you are telling the truth and whether you deserve a raise etc"
You can even use it full-length, so women can check their nylons and makeup (he whistles) or, maybe he frowns.
Maybe, If you rub his head you find solutions to inner office problems. "The all-knowing Dilbert"

Hey, maybe a mirror attached to a scale. People could put quarters in him as he guesses their weight and he gives them a horoscope reading. Or, Maybe, in the morning you see his face rise in the mirror kind of like the sun on a grandfather clock.

Hmmmmm on a very-tiny-level, For office parties, what about Dilbert fortune cookies? You pull his tie and get a fortune or office joke.
Or a Happy PEZ dispenser...with Dilbert's face.

Best of all.. a Dilbert groundhog-type doll.
He smiles, whistles and tells clean jokes. But If he sees the boss coming and/or trouble brewing.. he disappears in a hole...and the whole office is on alert!

[Chaundra]

I'd buy one just for the pure humor and geeky/techy possibilities.

[BoscoH]

"Watering the Dilbert everyday..." Scott, has anyone invented a Dilbert Urinal Cake? Maybe it could talk to you as you pee, offering helpful advice. Like, if you can't get a good stream going, maybe it suggests that you see a doctor about your prostate or drink more water. It could have built in drug testing and politely warn you if you've had too many poppy seed muffins that day.

[Doug]

First, it needs a USB connection.
You can then tie it to the number of unread emails in the inbox. As they build up Dilbert can be up or down, up to the user.
It could also count key board clicks. More typing makes Dilbert tired.
Brilliant.

[crowcoder]

I don't comment often because someone always says what I was going to say. (Ethan!)

[Chris]

Would it be possible for the doll's soul to be crushed for you? Like a Dilbert of Dorian Grey?

[Chris]

Would it be possible for the doll's soul to be crushed for you? Like a Dilbert of Dorian Grey?

[dsg]

Hi Scott,

I think a Mood Dilbert is a great idea. Perhaps it could be sound sensitive. Every time I groan in pain or sigh from boredom he could shrink just a little. Or you could have it respond to simple commands. Most words would make it shrivel, but one phrase would make it unshrivel "good-night." That way we could behave like our PHBs and every word out of our mouths would make Dilbert shrivel. Except for the pleasant good-night. Good-morning would just start the whole process again.

Send me a prototype,
dsg

[LaRoach]

Hmmm, not sure how you'd get the cost down to $20 but... Slap a cheap micro controller (about $2 or less in large lots) in it and plug it into the USB port (free power!). Have it monitor the weather, the stock market, something like that and react to the changes. Sorta like the Ambient Orb.

[Keely]

Why not just have a little computer Dilbert that lives on your desktop. It would know when to sleep, wake up go to work... etc based on the clock in your computer. Periodically you could feed him donuts and coffee and watch him freak out with the spurt of energy, and then crash and burn when the sugar/caffeine high wore off. They have things like that with computer dogs and cats. Why not Dilbert, Dogbert, and Catbert? Who doesn't enjoy a little desktop diversion that, unlike dilbert wallpaper, you could interact with?

Keely

[Keely]

Why not just have a little computer Dilbert that lives on your desktop. It would know when to sleep, wake up go to work... etc based on the clock in your computer. Periodically you could feed him donuts and coffee and watch him freak out with the spurt of energy, and then crash and burn when the sugar/caffeine high wore off. They have things like that with computer dogs and cats. Why not Dilbert, Dogbert, and Catbert? Who doesn't enjoy a little desktop diversion that, unlike dilbert wallpaper, you could interact with?

Keely

[Stephen Darlington]

Actually I think the wither/back-to-life mechanism would have to be much more sophisticated. I don't start the day alert and steadily decline.

I start the day all blurry and half-asleep. Breakfast and a shower wakes me up a bit but it's not until I've had a coffee and settled down at work that I really start becoming alert, and that's probably about 10 or 10.30. (Don't tell my boss.)

It's only then that I start the steady decline.

[Mike]

A better idea would be an electronic version for the desktop similar to the themes that one can put on Google Desktop. Several of them change throughout the day (having breakfast in the morning, doing work in the afternoon, looking at the stars in the late evening, sleeping at night, etc.). A similar idea for the desktop would probably do well, maybe a Firefox plug-in or something. It's worth looking into.

[rpk]

We've been told that we have to work a minimum of 25% overtime, (we're on salary, so no extra money...), to complete a major project. When completed, the work will be transferred to a group in India. We are expected to train the people from India who will be taking over our jobs. After all that is done, we will be able to apply for new jobs in the company, although there is no guarantee that new jobs will be available.

So what makes you think that I come into work in a good mood?

[Paul]

As a manager I think an extremely useful version of the doll would do the following:
- Measure the energy level or alertness of the employee
- Wilt as the energy/alertness level drops
- Revive as the energy/alertness level rises

I could simply scan the cubicles and decide who's going to work late and who can go home based on their remaining energy level.

The means to detect alertness would most likely be complicated, but it is no more far fetched than your deux ex machina "thermal mass".

[Real Live Girl]

How about a Dilbert head peeking over-the-wall type sensor when your cubical-farm neighbor gets out of his seat heading for a common wall?

And the Dilbert doll could slowly deflate over the course of the day; because some days it feels like people are slowly letting the air out of you. Cheap special effect - gotta love it, right?

[Mark Thorson]

I suggest as an alternative a
Dilbert shrine. People would
leave candy and tasty food at
the feet of the Dilbert, and
somehow it would get eaten.
A miracle!

You see similar shrines in
some Asian restaurants, except
the food doesn't get eaten,
as far as I can tell. I guess
it's some sort of good luck
or Feng Shui type of thing.

You could promote marketing
by inviting people to send in
their stories about the good
things that happened to them
after they honored the Dilbert
with a gift of food. You
could then collect these
stories into another book that
you'll get paid for, even
though you didn't write most
of it.

Maybe there would be special
food that used to feed the
Dilbert, like the gold-foil-
wrapped chocolate coins sold
in Asian food stores. That
way, you have profit streams
from the shrines, books, and
recurring Dilbert candy coin
sales.

Of course, you'll need a
disclaimer that the Dilbert is
not a medical device, and the
stories about people being
cured of cancer are for
entertainment purposes only.

(And remember, use the purple
coins for metastasized cancers
if you want to get better --
they're expensive because they
have been personally blessed
by Scott Adams.)

[Gary]

so maybe you could do it as a PC app that reacts to activity on your desktop, so it starts to shrivel when youe email inbox gets busy, it sweats and starts looking tired when you're writing a doc or a ppt, starts tapping its watch when its home time, loosens its tie when your browsing on facebook - and it sits out on your taskbar like the windows dancer

[Matt]

Try making up a software version first. It can 'live' on the desktop, or even as a Google Gadget. Allow the user to set their typical hours to it so that it has a default setting. Then allow them to right-click and be able to choose Overtime, Meeting, Lunch, Reading Dilbert, and a few other options. Managers won't know what they mean, but other DNRC members would. :-)

[mostcurious]

I love it, but I agree with the person who wants to set the mood.

[patti]

PATTI SAYS:
Water my Dilbert?? No way. He's no flower or weed.
My Dilbert is a MAN...the man of my dreams.
I want to be greeted and treated by MY DILBERT!

In fact, I would like a FLOCK OF Dilberts.
I want my own Dilberts .. made to MY specs.. just for ME!

He could be my companion at restaurants. Instead of sitting alone.. there he'd be smiling and attentively listening to me and all my days events. Pure Pleasure.
I could bring him to concerts to cheer-on the musicians I like.
Then I would have him ride next to me in the car while I sing to him. (gee, maybe we can get him to do harmony).
I could bring him on walks through the park and sit on benches with him. He would be the perfect hand-holder. AND? He’d accompany me to the mall.
I can even imagine bringing him to the tennis club and he claps after my every shot!
My Dilbert ..my biggest fan.

Imagine bringing him on a cruise in a suitcase. I can dress him in a tux and he’ll dance with me.
He has manners, my Dilbert.
Gee, maybe we can get him to PAY, too.

MY DILBERT will react to my moods and is totally in tune with my likes and dislikes.
He is a romantic magician and capable of producing flowers from a hat when I am sad . He is hypnotic and can relieve my stresses when he asks me to ....look into his eyes.
He is a brilliant artist with a great sense of humor.
He’s really a MENSA GENIUS!

OMG! I just realized something..
Maybe it's NOT DILBERT I WANT. Maybe… .IT'S YOU , SCOTT! ...
Let me see your picture again...... AHhhhhhh YESsssss.
FORGET DILBERT!! Give me …… a SCOTT ADAMS DOLL!
Geesh… sometimes I do get carried away. (what was this topic about.. anyway)

[Memo G.]

Could it be something digital? I'd love to have a little dilbert walking around in my screen every once in a while and seeing the progression of the day reflected on him.

At lunch time he could yell in a call out box for me to get my ass out of the desk and eat something, he could remind me of meetings (by being connected to Outlook) and be bored about it, etc etc

[mark]

Someone already mentioned USB, which I think is the key here. That lets the doll draw power for all kinds of tricks (the plumping, curling up, etc) It would also let you program in your work schedule.

I think it would sit on top of the monitor. The Wally version would mock you for doing more than 20wpm on your keyboard.

[rita mae]

Billy Arvia (Triplebee) says:

[It could be powered by changes in body temperature like "Mood Rings". It would then accurately show your feelings at the time.

I haven't quite figured out the mechanics of making it bend over and stick its head up its ass but I am working on it. That could be the special "Boss Edition"]

Billy, Billy, Billy. Have you been around many women? We have changes in body temperature every few minutes. My doll would be spinning like a top and spouting foul language at any man close enough to hear.

The "Boss Edition" at my office could be an accountant that actually looks at you when speaking. They all wear pocket protectors and look at their shoes when talking to you. (Just kidding -- I don't want all the accountants to hate me. It was a JOKE, okay? If you don't get it, maybe you are an ACCOUNTANT!!! Go play with your 10-key and get over it.)

Rita (already posted and doesn't care) Mae

[Jeremy]

I love the cubicle, but .... where is the catalog they mention? It's almost like they don't want me to buy them.

[GLK]

How about a frowning boss doll that smiles when you feed it a fertilizer pellet.

If it doesn't sell just change the face to George Dubbya or Hillary-ous Clinton.

[Diana W]

If you go with a sponge version, maybe you could team up with Coke. Include a Diet Coke watering can to revive him every morning.

[Andy Watt]

It's probably a little old hat (and might have been done already) but what about a compromise and create a Dilbert Screen Buddy? Easy enough to write (remember the electric sheep?) and he could do whatever you wanted including wonder where you were when yuo weren't typing, perking up when you got back, noticing when you've been at the PC far too long, etc etc...

A lot easier than delving into mechanical engineering... but to be acknowledged by something onscreen might be ultra annoying eh?...

Andy

[jeff]

So you target audience for the doll is??? The cube dweller? What triggers that buy? You're already a cube dweller and you're just going to decide to add a doll to the equation? Just trying to firm up the position of eternal drone?

Rather than trying to expand the dilbert brand, why don't you stick to controversial musings. That’s much more interesting than doll talk. Or at least try and be a little more covert with your capitalism.

[Nahu]

Watering the dilbert is the funniest phrase Ive heard all week.

"Oh damn I forgot to water the dilbert"

[Kodjo Hogan]

oooooooooo Scott!!! I know!! I know!! You could have BIOMETRIC sensors attached to the mouse and the keyboard. Just the Space bar and the right and left click keys.

Because we all use these on every 1.5 seconds at work, the sensors could detect the blood flow to your fingers. As you relax the blood flow lessens and as you get angry the blood flow increases. Also Sweat can be anaylsis for increased sugar by-product and electrolyte consumptions. This all feeds into a microprocess wicht would determine the Dolls behavior.

I'm a friggin genius.

[Slap D. Monkey]

Take the inflatable doll idea and improve upon it slightly:
Inflatable Dilbert sitting at hard plastic cubicle desk with computer (obviously non-inflating). Small air compressor hidden in desk to auto-inflate Dilbert. Small buttons (either disguised as desk items [see Rita Mae post] or on the keyboard of the computer) that when pushed will do one of the following:
- "Good Morning" button: Fully Inflate
- "Mornings Suck!!" button: 3/4 inflate
- "Friday!!" button: Quickly cycle between inflated and sucked slightly down several time to look like bouncing with excitement
- "Fist of Death!!" button: Dilbert inflates until his head bursts (you could sell replaceable heads in packs of six for $5.99 retail)
And then, of course, it slowly deflates over the next 6-8 hours.

[Bob]

"Watering the Dilbert"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?

[quantum_flux]

Oh, maybe it could be made into the form of a cookie that "mysteriously" undergoes a half-life every hour. At least that would be cheerful, if there were first a way to discipline oneself.

[SJA]

wow no tie on Dilbert today.... are you giving him a fashion update?.. I haven't seen a tie in a cube for over 10 maybe 15 years.....

[Sondra]

I think people would mimic the doll, instead of vice versa. People stuck in cubicles can be easily influenced. Why not a doll that feels wonderful and smiles at arbitrary times, to cheer a person, rather than drain them?

[Royce]

It would consume a decent amount of power, but it seem to me that a shape memory wire inside of a doll could work. As the day wears on a circuit could gradually increase the power through the wire causing it to contract further and further. The contraction action could be mechanically linked to the doll to result in a crushing or slumping action. Perhaps you could have temperature sensitive paint on the doll to make it go pale as the wire dissipates more and more heat through the course of the day.

[Allison]

I think it would be interesting if the doll allowed you to change it's mood, like the mood indicator you can put at the end of blog entries. It could have a little touchpad that allowed you to choose "optimistic", "crushed soul", "bored to death" and it would reflect that mood. Then it would be an indicator to people entering your cublicle how they should treat you for optimal results and whether or not this is a good time to ask you a favour.

[Leo]

From the Shoestring Budget department: an inflatable Dilbert with a tiny hole. You inflate him every morning and it deflates slowly till he "passes out" at the desk.

Deluxe version includes a pump that you can hit a couple of times to get Dilbert back in shape. Pump can be placed on the desk and hit with a fist when you are angry or somehow motivated (e.g. right after caffeine ingestion,) or hidden under the desk and pressed with your foot when you deem it relevant (e.g. when hot coworker walks past your desk, for extra fun factor.)

Boss version comes with a needle so you can punch the hole yourself.

[rita mae]

Wow! That's cool. I don't think it would go over well in the two accounting offices where I work. (They're accountants....doh!)

On my counter, I have an outgoing mail basket, your Dilbert tear off calendar, a cup I bought for myself that says "Employee of the Year", a pad of post-it notes and a pencil, a small covered bowl with pistachio nuts, and a crystal dish with small sized candy bars. They are in that order left to right. That end of the counter is probably (wait I'm going to get up and walk it off to see) it's about 7 feet -- the counter to the side is about 10 feet. The wall behind me has two modern art pictures that one of the CPAs brought in to break up the wall space.

Can't see changing anything. I hang your cartoons under the space of the counter on my side, so only I can smile at them. Then people wonder why I am so happy. I also have my Jesus prayer hanging there. I say it as often during the day as I can.

My desk is business functional. They won't even buy the candy. I pay for it myself. The clients love me, tho.

Sometimes I wonder if they ever change anything. Maybe their underwear occasionally. Change is a dirty word to them. Hell, when I started here they were using Lotus and I said Excel was really better, but they didn't want to change. Boy, are they in for a surprise when I leave after this tax season.

It's tax season. What am I doing? I have got to get more returns done. Later...............

Rita (short-timer) Mae

[adora]

Nice cubicle! I really need that coat hang and shoes area. I would add a fish tank module.

[Remco]

What you need is the functionality of a Nabaztag rabbit: http://www.nabaztag.com

That way the Dilbert doll could monitor e-mail. The more e-mail that comes in and goes out, the slumpier it becomes. It would be great not to relate the 'drain' to time but rather to real conditions like mentioned above. That's the x-factor for becoming popular!

[Billy Arvia]

Scott,

It could be powered by changes in body temperature like "Mood Rings". It would then accurately show your feelings at the time.

I haven't quite figured out the mechanics of making it bend over and stick its head up its ass but I am working on it. That could be the special "Boss Edition"

http://triplebee.squarespace.com/

[Kiran]

Well.. The lengths that we go to seek attention..

You dont need anything mechanical, you can put a small bluetooth module inside it that indicates your presence. A difference of more than 8 hours would indicate that it is the start of a new day. Bluetooth these days is fairly cheap and the chip would not cost more than $4. Still putting it under $20 might be difficult.

[Bob C]

The simplest (read : cheapest) way to do what you were originally talking about was to just have an embedded clock in the doll. You tell it your usual arrival and departure time, and whatever deterioration it goes through it does gradually between those hours.

Having anything that is mood related would obviously be much more complicated.

[Joshua Ungerleider]

The doll should be half shriveled when you arrive to work (or have a 2nd version like that for those of use who aren't morning people), and then perk up, then slowly wilt again, then fully perk at 5:00 when you get to leave.

[Ibid]

There's a couple of ways I can think of making the mood doll work.

Some years back I remember reading about a program that pointed a camera at your face and could read your emotions.

A device like this (http://emotiv.com/corporate/2_0/2_4.htm) may be able to read you.

Better yet would probably be a watch or arm band that acts like a polygraph machine. By monitoring your pulse and skin conductivity it should be able to figure your mood.

Another related concept could be a computer mood doll. After a reboot it would be at it's happiest. Plug it into a USB slot. As memory gets used, performance suffers, etc. the doll would slowly get sad and then ill. Properly done it would curl up and twitch a few minutes before the machine does the same thing.
People who install too many little "fun" apps like WeatherBug and whatnot would never get a happy and healthy doll.

[ShirtBloke]

No no no - this is wrong on so many levels. Get a dog instead.

[LA Clay]

Check these guys out. http://www.x-tremegeek.com

Not only do they have products that are similar to what you want, I'm surprised that none of your current products are there. If you start selling stuff here I want an autographed t-shirt.

[Mandie]

So... Can you actually buy the Ultimate Cubicle????

[Josh P.]

I see Dilbert already as my friend - I read your comic every day. Sometimes twice. Or three times...and more than that and I'd look pathetic.

A Dilbert doll would bring much happiness to my life.

[DF]

I'm sure the little flower would have wilted while I sat at my desk either reading or typing, and that would depress me, because I would know that I am wilting too.

The little Dilbert doll would be neat though, because he is a recognizable character, I'm sure coworkers would stop by during the day to check on him, but not me. Maybe he could squeak out a little, "Help me" at 4pm every day to remind me to go home. But what would the Dilbert doll do every night when the office closes and everyone goes home?

The only problem I see is that right now it reminds me of that stupid little furby toy that my kids got one year for christmas that they barely played with. If it is that annoying, keep it.

[Ethan]

you should look into (or allow readers to - as fair use) creating a desktop widget that does this. though it would not be an office toy, it would have better distribution, and literally all of us can have our own little Dilbert pet sitting on our desktops.
Kinda like the Bonsai Buddy of 2008, but without the spyware.
Come to think of it, I'd love to have a Dogbert Bonsai Buddy! Why have a crushed soul buddy, when you can have a soul CRUSHING one?

[Nat]

I'd be the first one to buy that! ;-D

[Alan]

Sounds like to me that someone with some extra cash and time on there hands sound get right on that....Oh wait I just described you!

When I start receiving regular checks in the mail I will start inventing stuff for you.

Alan

[Diana W]

Yes, I would want one! I'm thinking an inflatable doll might work too - one with an intentional leak.

[PR]

Plush toy with inflatable air pockets surrounded by elastic so that it slowly deflates over the course of a day, or at least a few hours?

[Jeffrey Carver]

"I imagine the little doll sitting there looking all bright and fresh when you come in to work."

You're assuming that people come into work bright and fresh?

The doll should be almost as dilapidated as the night before until you have your first 3 cups of coffee.