Henry Hoover

In the news, a building contractor was caught seducing a shop vacuum. The vacuum has two large cartoon eyes and a hose that represents its nose. The model is called a Henry Hoover.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/03/nhoover103.xml

This story raises many questions. Was this a spontaneous act, or did the contractor see Henry Hoover on day one and think “I’d hit that”?

What disturbs me most is that little Henry’s hose was involved in the sex act. That’s his NOSE, dammit! How is Henry supposed to enjoy nasal sex? That contractor is a selfish lover, and I can’t forgive that.

The contractor’s alibi is that he was using Henry to vacuum his underpants, which he says is common practice back in Poland. The key learning is that maybe you should practice your alibi before getting caught and not say the first thing that springs to mind.

If I were that contractor, I would have claimed I was a member of a cult and I mistakenly thought Henry Hoover was my god. I’d say I cast off all of my possessions and knelt before him to receive his blessing. I’d tell the security guard “If you don’t like how Lord Hoover bestows his blessings, perhaps you should be less of a bigot.” I’d probably take the offensive and say something like “You probably kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker. How’s this different?”

It pays to be prepared.

Comments

[HH]

Henry Hoover is cute...lol

[Yuriy]

Seducing? That seems a lot more than "seducing" to me.

[ioan]

don't blame the guy;he's just another sexual explorer;the day will come when everybody who's "open minded" will have a robot-prostitute accustomed to the kama sutra techniques in his house;think about the future!

[Kristal L. Rosebrook]

I agree with David:
"You thought th nose bit was the most disturbing part of that report?

I found the most disturbing part of the report to be that he was found doing this in a *children's hospital*."

Kristal Rosebrook

[Kristal L. Rosebrook]

I agree with David:
"You thought th nose bit was the most disturbing part of that report?

I found the most disturbing part of the report to be that he was found doing this in a *children's hospital*."

[raynoo]

weird stuff happening! but atleast they keep scott's blog running.

[jeff]

i'm slow. what is the pilot reference? i can't even find it on the internet thingy.

[Dodge Fury]

Say Scott, how does "kneeling before the priest and getting a cracker" compare with your "Affirmations" theory?

You remember. You said if you write things down 15 times a day, eventually this would make it happen.

Sounds like even Atheists need prayer.

Do you belive that if I write down "Scott Adams will find faith in God." 15 times a day, that it will happen?

Seriously; will all you've been doing as of late, you should ask yourself: Are you an Atheist, or a Believer who's angry with God? Because frankly, I don't think an Atheist would care to take the shots you have. I know some, and they really don't care what I believe. The people who really go after God usually have some sort of issues in their past.

But you can't get angry at Him if you don't believe. You can only say you don't believe because you think that'll "get Him good."

I won't use affirmations, but I will pray for you. May he offer you the gift of faith--and may you accept it.

Because you have to accept it, you know; it just doesn't happen to you. You have to be involved in the process.

[Al]

Rita Mae wrote:
>oh, my science. the christians are going to kill you for
>today's cartoon. it would just be the loving, hay-soos
>thing to do.

From a Catholic standpoint, I haven't seen anything in the story arc that is even remotely as offensive as "you probably kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker."

And this during Lent.

[Rob]

lol
http://onlinehardware.blogspot.com

[Rob]

Great comic!

http://onlinehardware.blogspot.com

[Ace D]

Hi Scott,

I have something tha you'll absolutely enjoy. It is not a short text, but it's worth every word.

http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2005.05797.x?cookieSet=1

In 1983, at the Urodynamics Society meeting in Las Vegas, Professor G.S. Brindley first announced to the world his experiments on self-injection with papaverine to induce a penile erection. This was the first time that an effective medical therapy for erectile dysfunction (ED) was described, and was a historic development in the management of ED. The way in which this information was first reported was completely unique and memorable, and provides an interesting context for the development of therapies for ED. (...)

[carfree since '93]

Patti, meet Rita Mae.
Rita Mae,meet Patti.

CFS '93

[Ric]

I'd like to see some data now on the spike in sales of Henry Hoover units and trips to Poland

[Spike]

Come on now. I think the 'suckee' was merely trying to test the 'expanding earth' theory (3/12/08 topic).

As they say in West Virginia, it's all relative (yes, I know I'll get slammed. West Virginia is great if you like lots of deer, trees, and unemployment)

[steve]

great comic story arc this week.

[rita mae]

This is yesterday's post. Hope my comment still makes it.

ROCKY -- I am picturing the elephants at the zoo. Priceless.

SLAP D MONKEY -- Genius.

CHLOE -- Thanks.

D MENTED -- said I hadn't mentioned "Penis" and asked what's got into you? Let me say...............the answer is PENIS.

SAROJA -- Go talk to your vacuum and get a frickin life.

Thanks. I needed that (especially the "penis" part).
Even if this post doesn't make it I feel better. Think I'll go have a cigarette and I don't even smoke.

Rita Mae

[Rachel DC]

oh, my science. the christians are going to kill you for today's cartoon. it would just be the loving, hay-soos thing to do.

[JRWoodward]

Mr Adams, your fans want to know: are you getting any flack for the Hay-soos story arc? Especially since you introduced Wally as Judas today? I like it . . . but I have heard from some of my neighbors (this is the Deep South) that they were offended.

[Lord Foul]

Regarding his weird accusation of polish people... (Yes of course they vaccuum their underpants. While still wearing them. Oh... yes...) maybe he thought that by saying this really delightfully confused sounding nonsense, all people around him would breaking down hard from laughing and he simply could have run away.

Of course the question stands, if the contractor HAD been thinking all this through, why could he not use his mental capability to invent a better excuse?

with fine regards,

Lord Foul

[D from Heidelberg]

Scott,
So when do you plan to start mocking Islam (pronounced hey-zeus)? Or do you only mock religions that won't threaten you with a fatwa?

[Is there some sort of contest for dumbest question of the century and no one told me? -- Scott]

[Megan]

It seems to me that Eliot Spitzer would be in a lot less trouble if he could would have been caught with Henry Hoover rather than "Kristen".

[Stephen]

Oh, and Punch-his Pilot is very clever too. The kids these days that don't attend Sunday school will have less to draw their humor from, years from now.

[Stephen]

So apparently the shares are currently priced at .666 pieces of silver each. The number of the beast!

[Marc]

Yikes! Right in the middle of insulting Christians with your Hay-soos character, and now you're comparing what many consider a holy sacrament with sticking your thing in a vacuum cleaner? Did some preacher pee in your Wheaties or something?

[Oli]

I think his excuse is fairly strong, personally though i think the sucking of a vacuum cleaner would be painful over pleasurable!

http://wowraidguide.blogspot.com

[Patti]

Patti says:
I am very upset and couldn't sleep. It is 7:30 AM in Florida and I am disturbed after finding out that the contractor involved is also known as client #8 and is part of a dirty-sex- & laundering-ring.
It seems that Harvey Hoover is part of the whole dirty deal along with Harrietta Hoover, Horatio Hover, Hillary Hoover, Howard Hoover and a multitude of other "Hoovers For Hire" stretching from NYC to Washington DC!
Their faces were seen on-line and their clients had their pick of any they were attracted to. Some were offering multifunctional services and were hired by the hour!
Many have on-going accounts and open credit-lines for future dealings. Most services ran into the thousands.
These Contractor/clients had multiple accounts where they had been doing some deep cleaning/laundering of their filthy money, too.
The whole Hoover/contractor/client operation was conducted over the phones in some very dirty conversations. Their conversations were part of a "sting" operation involving some top officials.
Apparently some Hoovers couldn't keep their traps shut!

Many were repeat offenders. And many of these under-cover jobs involved dirty hoses and unsafe conditions. Some did NOT use any bags and some used bags that were discarded along with the dirty evidence.
I am appalled at the behavior of all involved and I am happy that the under-cover operations were a success.

We need to rid ourselves of these offenders and their dirty little deeds. Spring cleaning is a must!
The Hoovers and their clients need to clean-up their acts!

[saroja]

really out of ideas, are you? please read some sensible news items too.

[argenbert]

i have to say that henry's smile is rather inviting.

[Al]

"you probably kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker" ?

Hypothetically speaking, I suggest that taking the offensive in that manner would make things far worse. For a practicing catholic, that sort of remark is just as offensive as the drawings of the prophet were to various muslims.

With no other witnesses in the immediate surroundings, I'd feel a strong temptation to do considerable violence to the man, and then claim later that the injuries were due to the vacuum cleaner.

And then I think I'd submit him as a Darwin award candidate.

[Ozz]

Not even in the top 50? Holy crap! I thought this blog was really popular.

[Tatter]

I love the fact it mentions Karl Watkins having sex with a sidewalk in 1993.

He must be thinking "You shag one pavement and no lets you forget".
What if he has a new partner who has read this? "Me dear? No dear! I'll be on the patio for the next 10 minutes .... checking.... the ... ermm ... checking for cracks ... very carefully."

[foto]

Pointless and irrelevant comment from Rita Mae !

[Cristen]

re. today's strip: Punch his pilot....ha ha nice

[Jay]

I thought the little bit at the end of that story was great - the bit about a guy having sex with pavements - was fantastic! I did a bit of research and found his court records.

Apparently he wasn't prosecuted....he was just told to curb his enthusiasm........

[Mastro Gippo]

Hey, watch this! It's Salmon Sperm!!! In LEDs!

"A University of Cincinnati (UC) researcher has an unusual approach to developing “green” electronics — salmon sperm."
http://www.uc.edu/news/NR.asp?id=7089

[quantum_flux]

Turn henry hoover upside down, and that smile becomes a fruity invite to go down town. V

[Parand]

I really don't think that's his nose.

[Mongo]

Henry had it coming.

[doud]

Reminds me of the story awhile back of the guy that did something similar and led to a trip to the emergency room. Seems some vacuums have little blades in them and Mr. Wee Wee got cut up a bit...hmmmm....maybe in this case bigger wouldn't have been better as it wouldn't have reached to where the blades were.

Great Stuff Scott and I still think you hide out where I work sometimes as they hit the bulls eye :).

[Amit]

Scott, that's indeed quite bizarre. And what's further amusing is he got caught doing such a bizarre act!!

By the way a simple thought. What's will be his sexual orientation? Not straight for sure, not homo either... Something "Inanimo"??? :D

[pender]

"...common practice back in Poland."

...okay.

[Ari]

The contractor must have shaved; there's no mention of a carpet attachment.

[exiledsurveyor]

Actually, I have heard that hospital visits by men who have encountered a razor-like device in the vacuum hose are not uncommon.

The razors are installed on household vacuums to cut up strings and such to keep the hose from plugging.

I believe the case I heard it from was in Germany.

[Arby]

Hey, if the guy gets his jollies with an inanimate object so what. At least he is not visiting his perversions on moist robots. His only sin was getting caught.

[Stui]

Some funny comments here. Scott, you missed the big opportunity though with the last bit of the article. Someone found having sex with a tricycle? Someone arrested for having sex with the pavement? Maybe in the last one, a frind or family member had leaped off a building to their death so this bloke was trying to get some revenge by doing to the pavement what it had done to his friend/family member.

[D. Mented]

Rita Mae,
what's got into you?!
You didn't say PENIS!
D. Mented

[D. Mented]

Every Single Day this week, and half of last week,
I have vacuumed my underwear.
I did take it home and take it off, first.
In my defense, I also vacuumed my outerwear, and it was all because of a nasty type of blow-in insulation they use in industrial buildings called "monocoat", which is made up of ground up fiberglass, concrete dust, and microscopic weasels. (you animal rights types, don't worry - the fiberglass and concrete appears to be their natural habitat, and they burrow happily into your skin, eyes, etc. as soon as they come into contact with you)
I've been working "up close and personal" with the stuff as I run pipelines through the above-cieling space in a new hospital, and I do NOT want any of that crap getting into my washing machine. At least the vacuum cleaner bag is disposable.
D. Mented
(if I'm hallucinating the monocoat, they need to medicate me more)

[steve h]

you can almost get the hoover, kind of cute looking i guess and is an active participants, but a bicycle and the pavement (read the story), how is that even possible? (don't answer)

[DummyTech]

ROFL, Todays comic is GENIUS. Probaly over the head of most though...

[jerry w.]

No one seems to have noticed that it's the Henry "Xtra" model, the Ron Jeremy of Vacuums.

It looks like you can take the exhaust hose and plug it into the inlet hole, sort of Mobius sex.

Missing in the photo I saw is the accessory pack for getting into cracks and crevices.

Maybe that's just as well.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Patti]

Patti gay-ly shrieks:
"Hey mister. Up YOUR nose.. with a rubbered hose!"

[Kevin]

Reminds me of the guy who was caught molesting a pumpkin. When the cop walked up on him he said, "What? Is it midnight already?"

[dobbie]

Attenshun all ye clever clogs:
how about composing a Dr Seuss-like tale of Henry Hoover?

[KK]

How do you get all these news anyway?

[RJI]

Where in the HELL do you find these story's? Very intersting. I read the realated story about the time he had sex with a bicycle. He must REALLY be desperate & hard up. I also read he's on the sex offenders list. Would it be interesting to read that list. People keep an eye on your bikes and vaccuums.

[mairead]

Off topic but... Have you seen this yet?

http://coilhouse.net/2008/02/26/the-sublime-nihilistic-elegance-of-assquatch-art/

[mike]

A bit sad but he isn't harming anyone - except if he does it in public. I used to go to church also, I suspect the same denomination as Rita Mae, I stopped when I realised all I did was check out the women and see if I could shake hands with the hottest. I have to buy my own wine now though...

[Brandon]

Scott, I don't see why you think your explanation is better than the other guys. Vacuuming his underpants is 1000 x more believable than your creative story. Note, of course, that 1000 x miniscule is not very much.

[Intern Abuser]

I think Jesus and Asok are made for each other.

[Leora]

I've done some pretty dirty jobs in my life, but never have I had enough debris in my underpants to warrant vacuuming.

If I had, I certainly wouldn't consider a vacuum as the appropriate disposal vehicle!

[Rafael Cavalcanti]

I read elsewhere that the contractor was groaning louder than the hoover. So maybe it was very good at its job. Or maybe it sucked. Who knows?

Let's ask that Demon Dwarf dude.

[handment]

Years ago, in high school, a friend brought up in conversation some difficulty he had in pleasuring himself with the vacuum cleaner. It was almost like the soundtrack stopped and you heard the proverbial record scratch. We all looked at him. He said, "Come on, you know you've all tried it." We were all pretty much in disagreement with him. He kept waiting for someone to admit to it, and we kept the silence because we had never considered it.
I always felt kind of bad for him at that moment.

[brewtality1]

Just a related story...

I have a good friend who was a designer at Orek. He once had to design a screen devise because a man decided to "make it" with his vacuume cleaner and got his #$%! mangled up by the turbine. This screen was then dubbed the dickscreen, and is always referred to when you say how dumb can a person be.

[Meghann]

What is the equivalent to crucificion in engineer land?

Off Topic: I believe that's called annual reviews...

[murgadroid]

I lived in South Africa for a year in the early 80s. I was at a movie theater watching the ads prior to the movie. A commercial for Electrolux vacuum cleaners came on. It ended with "Remember, nothing sucks like an Electrolux."

[Matthew Kovich]

"and get a cracker"

priceless.

Also -- right up your alley -- http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20080311/sc_livescience/tinybrainlikecomputercreated

Brain-like computer created.

[E]

Scott,

That really sucks.

[Chloe]

Remo says:

"Pointless and irrelevant comment from Rita Mae about her ridiculous archaic faith"

If pointless and irrelevant, then why comment on it? THAT is ridiculous.

[alex]

Cool

[Adrianne]

Now this is the Scott Adams I signed up for!

Freakin' hysterical.

[Beaker]

One of my favorite bumper stickers seems appropriate to this story: "Never do anything you don't want to try to explain to the paramedics"

[Slap D. Monkey]

Most of us look forward to when we can get off work. This guy looks forward to getting off AT work.

[Rocky]

I once had the displeasure of witnessing one elephant stimulate another elephant sexually with his trunk at the zoo. Some day I hope to get that sound out of my head. I assume that Henry Hoover is in the same genus as the elephant, but I'm no biologist.

[Fletch]

... this sucks!

[Sondra]

I know someone who was in the vacuum cleaner biz for 40 years.

This guy ain't the first, by quite a lot.

Twisted f@uckers.

[henry]

seen this on the Net previously, and on tv. It can cause permanent damage, the manufacturers should probably put a warning on them!
Worst one I read of was a guy pleasuring himself with a industrial belt-driven sander (presumably the inside surface!) and his bits got dragged around the drive unit.

[Slap D. Monkey]

Henry Hoover is described on a cleaning website as "famous for its looks, but under its fascia lies a powerful, reliable vacuum cleaner ready to go time and time again."

Classic.

[Slap D. Monkey]

You know the old saying . . . "Once you go vac, you never go back."

[Slap D. Monkey]

I'm va-CUUMING!! I'm va-CUUMING!!

[quantum_flux]

http://www.iop.org/News/news_28909.html

Strongest creature in the world.

[Sarah]

In other news, let's see if you can see the double meaning in this story:

http://www.myfoxdc.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=5A90A4C5854BAEE226825CA18D024D29?contentId=5657259&version=3&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1

:)

[ughbert]

What is it with the people in the UK.....first I read about this:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2007/10/26/nsex126.xml

Now a vacuum cleaner? They need to get out more.

[Barnado Millionaire]

Thank you Scott for brining this story to my attention, it brought me much joy...reading the story, not putting it into practice. Obviously.

In any case, for another take on Henry-gate: http://eddieandstevo.blogspot.com/

[rita mae]

REMO -- will you like me better if I quit going to church and lose my faith? Let's see? Give up my faith and all I have learned and blieved in since I was born, or worry about REMO thinking I am pointless and archaic?

Pointless? Are you peeking in my window when I undress and take my bra off?

Archaic? Okay. You got me on that one. I am old and so are my beliefs. That's not okay?

Rita Mae

PS ----- REMO, I am going to say a prayer for you and you can't stop me. So there. BWAHAHAHAHAHHA

[Brad K.]

Umm. In Boot Camp in 1973 my company commander claimed nasal sex with a cow was quite satisfying. He said that the cow's rough tongue .. umm. In the last couple of years I have come to the suspicion he was testing for perverts - looking for guys with an inordinate familiarity with untoward practices and attitudes. But maybe he was just .. strange?

[MAL]

Guess what, Remo? Rita Mae gets to make whatever type of comments she wants, as long as the moderator (Scott, I assume) allows it. He allowed YOUR comment didn't he?

Lighten up -

[Ace]

"It pays to be prepared."

Heh - I can't say I was fully prepared to read that particular (and otherwise excellent) advice in the current context!

[Andi]

This guy used to have sex with pavements.. How do you have sex with that?!

[cloud]

I like to think of myself as open minded. Ready to embrace others who think differently than I do...but you know, that vacuum BJ guy just got me to rethinking the whole thing. Wouldn't touch him with a ten foot...hose. He could have at least made sure he didn't get caught...and in a Childrens' hospital? AAACK!

[Jean]

This guy should be rewarded to satisfy his sexual needs with a machine instead of a kid as so many do. This is a sick man but at least he doesn't hurt anybody. Now that he has lost his job, get humiliated and so, guess what he will do next. Not funny at all IMHO. Mental illness is no joke. It is just plain suffering.

[Matt]

I had an emergency room doctor friend, who told me this kind of thing was a weekly occurrence there. Apparently, there's a certain type of guy who sees a vacuum and thinks, "Rrrrrreow!" And not enough evolutionary time has passed since the advent of the vacuum to weed this particular element out.

[Patti]

Patti says;
Just the other day, I was vacuuming my floor. Suddenly my "man-like" overly-endowed Hoover started to grin and chase me around the house. There I was running from it. I yelled for it to stop ..however, it turned a deaf ear to me and revved-up it's motor to high speed. I pleaded with it to stay away and stop. but it continued the high-speed chase until...it trapped me against the wall.
In a fit of panic I GRABBED THE THING BY IT'S EXTENDED HOSE AND FLIPED IT OVER. WE STRUGGLED. AND.. I TRIED TO PUNCH-OUT ITS LIGHTS.
FINALLY, I MANAGED TO PULL IT'S PLUG AND QUICKLY TIE IT'S HOSE INTO BOWS AND KNOTS.
WHEW!

But? Now I sit here wondering what to do. I look at my dusty floor and debate how quick on my feet.. I can run. Is my dusty floor really worth another battle with this thing??

AND… I ask you....
will cutting the little de-bugger's hose into a shorter length help.. or do I just cut-off it's wheels?

[Jo]

This totally reminds me of Scary Movie 2.

[Samantha]

I'm alarmed solely because I recently moved into a fully furnished apartment... and we have this EXACT vacuum cleaner.

[spoilsport engineer]

OK, am I just a sexual prude, or does the concept of sex with an industrial vacuum cleaner sound *painful* to anyone else? I mean, there are things you ry, and things you don't. This is thinking way outside the box (ahem).

[WCE]

Reducing the outside pressure on the penis will tend to make it larger, since it's the pressure differential that causes an erection.

Doing this on a regular basis will tend to stretch the fibrous tissues that determine the size of the erect penis.

Now, if you thought that doing your shop-vac twice a week for a year would add an inch to the size of your erect penis, would you consider doing this or not?

Would you think of it as perversion or therapy? Selfishness (as masturbation) or something done for the enhancement of your wife/future wife's enjoyment of sex with you?

My guess is that if people thought about this a while, they'd invest in a good shop-vac and spend more time working in the garage.

[steve]

Scott, be careful with joking about religion. You get a pass on Hay-Soos but don't draw the prophet who's image we dare not publish. Be thankful we live in the USA, at least for the present.

[Off Topic]

I hope you are planning on keeping Hay-Soos around through Easter. Let's see, Catbert is Satan, PHB is Pilot, Death is of course Death. What is the equivalent to crucificion in engineer land?

[Muppet]

Really...I have to wonder what is wrong with men sometimes and why do they keep getting caught doing the most bizarre acts?

[Remo]

Pointless and irrelevant comment from Rita Mae about her ridiculous archaic faith

[larry horowitz]

Well at least he didn't do it with an ugly vacuum cleaner. Bill Clinton should take notice!

[Kevin Kunreuther]

I have to know. Please.
Does Henry Hoover suck AND blow?

[Adam]

Screw all that noise. I would have been straight up honest.

"Seriously guys, have you tried this thing? It feels incredible!"

http://www.livingwithanerd.com

[himanshu]

its not possible for Wally to get any smarter.......you gotto restore him soon.

[Joshua Jacobsen]

Nasal elephant-like sex? You're definitely pushing the frontiers of perversion.

[David]

I’ve spent my entire life coming up with excuses to use should I ever be caught doing something that probably shouldn’t have been done.

-Explanations for my parents as to why I smelled like cigarettes when I was a teenager.
-Innocent explanations for the damages that several of my apartments experienced during my college years.
-Explanations as to why I maintain a catalogue of memo’s that lampoon the memo’s my co-workers send out. Just in case they are ever discovered.

They’re always good excuses but I don’t think I’ve ever had to use one…. Yet. Your idea of turning such a situation into a debate about religious intolerance however intrigues me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Mehere]

You thought th nose bit was the most disturbing part of that report?

I found the most disturbing part of the report to be that he was found doing this in a *children's hospital*.

[Steve]

If you think that's bad, there is actually a guy who does that as part of his circus act in the Circus of Horrors - not for the faint hearted!

[Tim Steele]

Enjoy the shamelessly altered photo in the original article:
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article868092.ece

[Josh Meyer]

How can people let themselves get caught doing these things? Makes you wonder what people do when nobody's watching.

Must....change subject now

[andy]

That story amused me last week... the new angle amuses me again today.

Thanks Scott.

[Diana W]

I'd suggest, "Unlike the govenor of New York, I can't afford $4300 an hour for a call girl, so I have to make do. Are you saying working stiffs like me aren't entitled to a little gratifacation too? What are you, some sort of elitist bigot?!"

[jerry w.]

Would it have been less of an offense before god if it was a "Henrietta" Hoover?

But then there's that hose to explain away.

Maybe Henrietta was a postop, having had an Addadictomi operation?

Or the guy was just using the device as a transport method to take the kids to the pool.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[jim]

scott, you're really starting to suck at this

[Real Live Girl]

Well, that sucked. Literally. For everybody. LOL.

[Dan]

It's good to know you've got your excuses and explanation sorted for when you caught with Henry... Sorry... "If", of course...

[Stef]

And you never even went for the obvious 'Pole' gags.

[rita mae]

Kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker??? Damn, Scott! We don't do that anymore. They even let us take the cracker in our own hand now. Kneel! I laugh at you.

I do kneel during Mass, but it takes me a while to get back up. My knees creak. I love the "Sign of Peace" where we all shake hands. Especially when the person behind me has been hacking and sneezing all through Mass. Our church discontinued distribution of wine until the flu season is over. That makes me feel better about the person one pew in front of me and to my left that has the big oozing cold sore, since we all use the same chalice.

Just something for you to think about.

Rita Mae

[vishalrix]

I'd have said( would say!) that the Hoover had vaccumed my pencil and I was trying to get it out.
I mean its not like I have long fingers.

-vishalrix

[Charley]

______________________________________________________
Thanks for sharing, but funny's not enough any more ...

Here's a list of the world's 50 most powerful blogs -

http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2008/mar/09/blogs

[dsg]

Hi Scott,

Funny story, I won't even accuse you of making inappropriate Polish Jokes. However, I think you may be wrong about Henry. I'll bet he had a smile on his face the whole time. Perhaps because his new friend stayed away from the exhaust vent. Henry knows what he is doing.

I would have claimed a misinterpretation of the phrase blowing your nose, after all English may not be the man's first language.

Thanks for the laugh,
dsg

[Dan]

I think Asok and Hay-Soos look very similar. Does that make me racist?

[Billy Arvia]

Before any of you judge this guy, make sure you click on the link. Henry Hoover is HOT!!!!

http://triplebee.squarespace.com/journal/2008/3/6/headlines.html

[G]

Q:How is Henry supposed to enjoy nasal sex?

A: F**k knows?

Reminds me of a poster I saw adverstising a vacuum cleaner produced by Goblin...where I come from (Glasgow, Scotland) the word "gobble" is a slang term for a BJ...so imagine my joy when I read the poster's slogan, in massive lettering across the billboard: "Nothing sucks harder that a Goblin"

[vishalrix]

We may all shortly hear of the defence "if the pen1s does not fit you must acquit". One of those scenarios where size does matter.

-vishalrix

[Craig]

So when I click on my Dilbert Live Bookmark, I see

Henry Hoover
Try This at Home.

Are you working on your subliminal messages?