Henry Hoover

In the news, a building contractor was caught seducing a shop vacuum. The vacuum has two large cartoon eyes and a hose that represents its nose. The model is called a Henry Hoover.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/03/nhoover103.xml

This story raises many questions. Was this a spontaneous act, or did the contractor see Henry Hoover on day one and think “I’d hit that”?

What disturbs me most is that little Henry’s hose was involved in the sex act. That’s his NOSE, dammit! How is Henry supposed to enjoy nasal sex? That contractor is a selfish lover, and I can’t forgive that.

The contractor’s alibi is that he was using Henry to vacuum his underpants, which he says is common practice back in Poland. The key learning is that maybe you should practice your alibi before getting caught and not say the first thing that springs to mind.

If I were that contractor, I would have claimed I was a member of a cult and I mistakenly thought Henry Hoover was my god. I’d say I cast off all of my possessions and knelt before him to receive his blessing. I’d tell the security guard “If you don’t like how Lord Hoover bestows his blessings, perhaps you should be less of a bigot.” I’d probably take the offensive and say something like “You probably kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker. How’s this different?”

It pays to be prepared.

Comments

[HH]

Henry Hoover is cute...lol

[Yuriy]

Seducing? That seems a lot more than "seducing" to me.

[ioan]

don't blame the guy;he's just another sexual explorer;the day will come when everybody who's "open minded" will have a robot-prostitute accustomed to the kama sutra techniques in his house;think about the future!

[Kristal L. Rosebrook]

I agree with David:
"You thought th nose bit was the most disturbing part of that report?

I found the most disturbing part of the report to be that he was found doing this in a *children's hospital*."

Kristal Rosebrook

[Kristal L. Rosebrook]

I agree with David:
"You thought th nose bit was the most disturbing part of that report?

I found the most disturbing part of the report to be that he was found doing this in a *children's hospital*."

[raynoo]

weird stuff happening! but atleast they keep scott's blog running.

[jeff]

i'm slow. what is the pilot reference? i can't even find it on the internet thingy.

[Dodge Fury]

Say Scott, how does "kneeling before the priest and getting a cracker" compare with your "Affirmations" theory?

You remember. You said if you write things down 15 times a day, eventually this would make it happen.

Sounds like even Atheists need prayer.

Do you belive that if I write down "Scott Adams will find faith in God." 15 times a day, that it will happen?

Seriously; will all you've been doing as of late, you should ask yourself: Are you an Atheist, or a Believer who's angry with God? Because frankly, I don't think an Atheist would care to take the shots you have. I know some, and they really don't care what I believe. The people who really go after God usually have some sort of issues in their past.

But you can't get angry at Him if you don't believe. You can only say you don't believe because you think that'll "get Him good."

I won't use affirmations, but I will pray for you. May he offer you the gift of faith--and may you accept it.

Because you have to accept it, you know; it just doesn't happen to you. You have to be involved in the process.

[Al]

Rita Mae wrote:
>oh, my science. the christians are going to kill you for
>today's cartoon. it would just be the loving, hay-soos
>thing to do.

From a Catholic standpoint, I haven't seen anything in the story arc that is even remotely as offensive as "you probably kneel in front of a priest and get a cracker."

And this during Lent.

[Rob]

lol
http://onlinehardware.blogspot.com

[Rob]

Great comic!

http://onlinehardware.blogspot.com

[Ace D]

Hi Scott,

I have something tha you'll absolutely enjoy. It is not a short text, but it's worth every word.

http://www.blackwell-synergy.com/doi/full/10.1111/j.1464-410X.2005.05797.x?cookieSet=1

In 1983, at the Urodynamics Society meeting in Las Vegas, Professor G.S. Brindley first announced to the world his experiments on self-injection with papaverine to induce a penile erection. This was the first time that an effective medical therapy for erectile dysfunction (ED) was described, and was a historic development in the management of ED. The way in which this information was first reported was completely unique and memorable, and provides an interesting context for the development of therapies for ED. (...)

[carfree since '93]

Patti, meet Rita Mae.
Rita Mae,meet Patti.

CFS '93

[Ric]

I'd like to see some data now on the spike in sales of Henry Hoover units and trips to Poland

[Spike]

Come on now. I think the 'suckee' was merely trying to test the 'expanding earth' theory (3/12/08 topic).

As they say in West Virginia, it's all relative (yes, I know I'll get slammed. West Virginia is great if you like lots of deer, trees, and unemployment)

[steve]

great comic story arc this week.

[rita mae]

This is yesterday's post. Hope my comment still makes it.

ROCKY -- I am picturing the elephants at the zoo. Priceless.

SLAP D MONKEY -- Genius.

CHLOE -- Thanks.

D MENTED -- said I hadn't mentioned "Penis" and asked what's got into you? Let me say...............the answer is PENIS.

SAROJA -- Go talk to your vacuum and get a frickin life.

Thanks. I needed that (especially the "penis" part).
Even if this post doesn't make it I feel better. Think I'll go have a cigarette and I don't even smoke.

Rita Mae

[Rachel DC]

oh, my science. the christians are going to kill you for today's cartoon. it would just be the loving, hay-soos thing to do.

[JRWoodward]

Mr Adams, your fans want to know: are you getting any flack for the Hay-soos story arc? Especially since you introduced Wally as Judas today? I like it . . . but I have heard from some of my neighbors (this is the Deep South) that they were offended.

[Lord Foul]

Regarding his weird accusation of polish people... (Yes of course they vaccuum their underpants. While still wearing them. Oh... yes...) maybe he thought that by saying this really delightfully confused sounding nonsense, all people around him would breaking down hard from laughing and he simply could have run away.

Of course the question stands, if the contractor HAD been thinking all this through, why could he not use his mental capability to invent a better excuse?

with fine regards,

Lord Foul

[D from Heidelberg]

Scott,
So when do you plan to start mocking Islam (pronounced hey-zeus)? Or do you only mock religions that won't threaten you with a fatwa?

[Is there some sort of contest for dumbest question of the century and no one told me? -- Scott]

[Megan]

It seems to me that Eliot Spitzer would be in a lot less trouble if he could would have been caught with Henry Hoover rather than "Kristen".

[Stephen]

Oh, and Punch-his Pilot is very clever too. The kids these days that don't attend Sunday school will have less to draw their humor from, years from now.

[Stephen]

So apparently the shares are currently priced at .666 pieces of silver each. The number of the beast!

[Marc]

Yikes! Right in the middle of insulting Christians with your Hay-soos character, and now you're comparing what many consider a holy sacrament with sticking your thing in a vacuum cleaner? Did some preacher pee in your Wheaties or something?