Tick Tock

Several years ago I bought one of those portable blood pressure monitors. Hypertension runs in the family, so it seemed wise to keep an eye on it. Sure enough, despite my unusually healthy lifestyle, the monitor said I was on the borderline of high blood pressure. Not quite enough to get pills, but enough to keep an eye on it. Damned genetics!

Since then I’ve been feeling like a time bomb. Hypertension is called the “silent killer” and it seemed as if every time I got on the tennis court it could be my last. Whenever I sprinted after a drop shot I would tell myself to enjoy it because I’d be taking a dirt nap by the end of the week. I was dead man walking.

Recently I checked my blood pressure again and was horrified to see that I had shot past the borderline of hypertension and was well within the “prepare your will” category. The end was near. Suddenly food tasted better and I was filled with extra love for others. I put together my bucket list and set up an appointment with my doctor to see how long I had to live.

Yesterday my doctor checked me out and told me that my blood pressure is completely normal and always has been. Those little blood pressure monitors are not accurate. Apparently a vegetarian diet and regular exercise actually works. My cholesterol barely registered.

The news of my perfect health was strangely disappointing. I spent half an hour arguing with my doctor that there must be something pill-worthy about me. But I left empty-handed.

I shared the good news with my parents by e-mail. Mom told me she had once rushed Dad to the hospital on a holiday because their portable blood pressure monitor indicated his blood pressure was off the chart. His turned out to be normal too.

Apparently more than hypertension runs in my family.

Comments

[Kara]

That's a funny one! And you're right about those blood pressure monitors, even the really expensive ones are pretty useless. That's why all the nurses and caregivers (I used to be one) use the old-fashioned blood pressure cuffs.

[Borjan]

One of the funniest posts in a long while. Thanks, Scott.

[Will]

Hi Scott,
I highly recommend Buddhist meditation to drop blood pressure. Had a bit of a high one myself and practiced mediation for a while.

Next time i went to my doctor, she said my bp was *below* what's considered normal. (which was a good thing according to her).

But it was a dramatic difference. and very good for the mind, too.

[Simim]

Hypertension is a bit of a hyperbole in this instance, eh?

[jeff]

Jeff says:

"Patti is just not funny. Or original."

[Dennis]

Hi Scott,

remember, the best way to avoid hypertension is to panic and fret about it all the time!

[Freddie]

Don't worry about it, even if you do have high blood pressure. There's nothing you can do about it. Remember - you don't have any free will.

[synapticmisfires]

My dad has just started getting FREAKISHLY high readings with his portable blood pressure reader. He will be thrilled to know this. I always get moderately low readings, so I'm kind of unsure what I should think.... Thanks for the update.

Did the doctor mention why the portable blood pressure monitors are so very shitty?

[Grady Short]

http://www.ama-assn.org/amednews/2007/06/11/hlsa0611.htm

Be afraid. The above article states blood pressure reading's in doctor's offices are not all that reliable. I think you should start antihypertensive medications as soon as possible. Don't forget pre-need planning.

Have a nice day.
GS

[Keely]

Even at your doc's office you could be getting an inaccurate reading. Most places don't bother with protocol.

Here is what you need to do to get an accurate reading:

1) Put the cuff on.
2) Sit relaxed with your back resting on a chair and your feet flat on the floor without moving around for 5 minutes.
3) When someone comes to take your blood pressure do not move and do not talk to them (both will raise the bp)
4) Be sure the arm you are testing is resting on a flat surface, and not just hanging at your side.
5) Have them take your blood pressure, then deflate the cuff and you then raise your hand in the air for about 10-15 seconds.
6) Re-do the blood pressure if you desire.

People don't understand how important it is that they sit quietly for 5 minutes etc before a blood pressure. If you want to see the difference do one after you have just sat down with your arm hanging unsupported and then do one using the above methods. It's also important to remember if you just had coffee etc.

[AC]

Must be you Scott - perhaps faulty BP machines run in the family? I asked my Dr which monitor to get, and then every now and then I bring it in to the office and check it against the nurse's reading. Very accurate - always within +- 5 pts on both values. I forget who makes it off the top of my head. I'm sure that was useful.

[Joshua Ungerleider]

Scott, ironically, an inaccurate monitoring telling you that you're about to die, probably raised your blood pressure on its own, like a self fullfilling prophesy.

Its actually a good business plan, tell people they're going to die, and when they find out its a false alarm, they're happy. Who calls and complains that they aren't dying?

[Elvi]

Hypertension runs in the family for me :(:( my father and my brother have hypertension its very hard :( and im afraid about me

[Ravi Dawar]

Scott
The other day i went to see a movie, in the hall i saw a person who looked similar to you. i approached that guy and asked him 'Are you by any chance scott adams'.he smiled and said no but many people have come to ask the same question to me.
He was also an ardent fan of Dilbert.we discussed your strip for long.
i could not get a chance to photograph that person otherwise i would have sent you his photograph.
by the way what is the probabilty of two persons having the same facial features.

[Greg Wischnewsky]

Lucky you.
mine is really too high for genetic reasons. My grandfather on my mother's side and his two sisiters died of strokes. My mother has been on medication for the last 30 years in the hope of preventing such a death (so far she's successful at 72). And I am taking blood pressure pills since 2006. I am 47.
I envy you.

[Thomas]

Every time I give a talk, someone always asks, "That's all good and nice that helping users learn is the key to

creating passionate users... but who's going to do all that extra work? Who's going to make the extra tutorials and

better docs?" Answer: your user community. Think about all the things a strong user community can do for you: tech

support, user training, marketing (evangelism, word of mouth), third-party add-ons, even new product ideas. And

that's not including any extra sales you might make on community/tribe items like t-shirts, stickers, and other

gear.

[Joe]

I liked this comment so much I'm going to ask you to post it again:

"Is there no pill for hypochondria?"

[claudia]

Having established that you are indeed quite healthy there is only one thing left to say: Live long and prosper.

[stephanie]

Thank you for the laugh. This was the first time that I've read your blog and it was really what I needed to brighten my day. I'm a cancer survivor and every ache and pain makes me think it is back and the grim reaper is at the door, so this really hit home with me.

Thank you for making me laugh at myself!!!

[sung]

All right, I'm glad you're alive and well. Stay healthy, Mr. Adams.

[Mike]

Whoa I just read Rita Mae's post - get back to the Doctors or buy for yourself some simvastatin (you need a blood test after a few months to see if your liver is okay with it - about 1 in 5000 ain't - you stop or cut back and the liver goes back to normal). This is a real wonder drug and it is available in generic form (out of patent). Here in the UK it costs about a penny, at todays rate of exchange thats 2 cents I guess. That might be how much the Doctor pays but in the freemarket US of A you've got to be able to pick these up cheap. They keep your blood stream clear and protect against heart attack, strokes and also Alzheimers. Don't make me tell the marine (I know I can't; what I mean is, only ignore the cholesterol if you want to check out)

[mike]

90's over 60 !!! Sheeeeit! I'm 117 over 76 and I thought i was doing well.

Actually my Doctor gave me a pill for borderline hypertension (it was pushing 130 over 90 I think) and I am 30 lb overweight and take no exercise. I thought she should have told me to lose weight and get off my fat ass once in a while.

I am exercising now and I've lost a few pounds so I'm on the way. It's easier to get someone to take a pill than change a lifestyle I guess. By the way - any veggy diet book recommendations?

[Drone74B]

I know it's not the exact topic of your post, but I have a question for you: You're always talking about how if you were a world leader, that you'd defer your opinion on complex matters to the experts. Why then, do you continue to insist that a vegetarian diet is better for you when so many health experts disagree?

[kavi]

Lol, Scott stopping the worry seems like the first step to stop and prevent hypertension (right)?

The blog was hilarious, the comments even more so.

The reason I keep coming back! (the best blog on the net, no doubt)

-Kavi
http://thedailysong.wordpress.com/

[acd]

Unrelated to the topic, but you'd be interested:

There is preliminary evidence that deterrence can be expected to work for about 100 years, which is an unacceptably high risk. Aside from concern for future generations, that time horizon implies roughly a 1% chance of failure in any given year and a 10% chance of failure in any decade. With a 100 year time horizon, every 15 years is like pulling the trigger in a game of Russian roulette in which the whole world is at stake. Every 30 years is like pulling the trigger twice in that suicidal game. A sane person would never play Russian roulette even once. Neither would a sane world.

http://nuclearrisk.org/risk.php

http://nuclearrisk.org/5principles.php

[WCE]

Scott's done everyone here a great service by alerting people to both the dangers of hypertension and the potential for cheap meters to give false readings.

Hypertension is generally described as having no symptoms, but actually, it does, they're just subtle and easily confused with other, benign, symptoms that appear almost the same.

Many of my coworkers who exhibit psychological/emotional problems (esp., "hot-heads" who can't control their tempers) actually have uncontrolled hypertension. I've had the same problems myself, and after getting diagnosed and treated, found that those uncontrollable outbursts of temper went away once I got on medication(s).

If you know someone who has a "bad temper", and is approaching middle-age (or older), have them see a doctor, and the chances are that they have high blood pressure. One pill per day, and their tempers will vanish (or at least, become controllable).

I've seen too many minor disagreements turn into full-blown violence that turned out to be due, simply, to hypertension. Getting treatment for mine was one of the best things I've ever gotten a doctor to do for me. It can save a marriage, it can save your career. If you have a bad temper, tell your doctor, and he can prescribe medication that you take, one little pill per day, and you can see the humor in the sort of idiocy that "Dilbert" mocks every day when it happens to you, which otherwise would send you through the roof.

Good one, Scott. In today's topic, you may have saved a lot of lives, marriages, and jobs.

[LA Clay]

I once went to work an hour early because of daylight savings time, talk about embarased!

Same thing right?

[Jane]

Same thing happened to me. I went to a clinic and the receptionist took my blood pressure with the portable machine. It was 128/89 and I'm a 26 year old vegan who exercises regularly. I was pretty surprised, and asked the doctor about it when he came in. He said the machines are never accurate, and took my blood pressure with the manual one, and sure enough, I was 112/69. That's more like it.

BTW Scott, please stop calling yourself vegetarian. You are a pescatarian. Nothing irks me more than going to a restaurant, asking about the vegetarian option, and being told "sure, we have salmon and cod". It's self-proclaimed "vegetarians" like you who ruin it for people who are actually vegetarian, because you spread misinformation that makes the whole world think vegetarians eat fish! Please stop!

[HCG]

A post about medical devices! Stand by for geeky comments.

Blood pressure measuring devices (aka sphygmomanometers - say that three times fast) must meet accuracy requirements to be sold legally in the US, EU, and most of the western world. Most measuring devices require periodic calibration maintenance to retain their accuracy. You should check the manual to ensure this wasn't a case of operator error or neglect. Next time you see your doc, amuse yourself by looking for the calibration sticker on his blood pressure meter, scale, etc.

BTW, Helm2Lee repeated some nonsense from his vegetarian Indian coworkers about cholesterol being linked to frying food in heavy oil. If they are truly vegetarian, then the only cholesterol they have is self-made, not consumed. The only way frying their food could raise cholesterol, is if they fried with lard. Cholesterol is only found in animal products (meat, milk products, eggs, etc.). Oil is plant based.

[DRAMbo]

Blood pressure can vary significantly for any individual over the course of the day. A single reading doesn't mean that you are suddenly at death's door.

The idea behind the portable units is to allow someone who is at risk to obtain readings that can be used to determine the overall resting blood pressure over an extended period of time. A few outlying readings can be ignored. It's the overall trend that is important.

If you are healthy and don't have any risk factors for high blood pressure, then there is no good reason to use a portable unit to monitor your blood pressure.

No, I did not stay at a Holiday Inn last night, but I do use one of those monitors because of specific risk factors. :)

DRAMbo

[portlandrealestate]

I think you might have a new disease, it's called hyper-tension hyper-paranoia ;)

[Carla Moquin]

Glad you're fine! Funny post, though; you do have a way with the wry humor. Yours is one of the very few blogs I read regularly; always makes me smile or laugh. Thanks!

[mijj]

"vegetarian diet and regular exercise", eh?

Why do you hate america?

[Keenan]

Scott,

I'm glad to hear you're feeling well and in apparently good health, but you should hold no delusions about your cholesterol levels. "Elevated cholesterol" is simply not a risk factor for disease - triglyceride/HDL ratio is far more important. Low serum cholesterol is actually a risk factor for numerous diseases and death rates from all causes increase exponentially as your cholesterol decreases. "Elevated" cholesterol in the presence of a low low triglyceride to HDL ratio actually decreases your risk of heart disease. In your case, I would be far more concerned about low cholesterol and possibly an elevated Tri/HDL ratio, as vegetarian diets tend to be very heavy in carbohydrates and include little saturated fat. Unless, hopefully, you restrict your carbs to veggies and nuts, and supplement with coconut oil.

Read "Protein Power Lifeplan" by Dr. Eades and "Good Calories, Bad Calories" by Gary Taubes. It may be better to read "Good Calories, Bad Calories" first, because that will explain how the whole myth about cholesterol and saturated fat being dangerous got started in the first place and *might* open your mind more to the ideas in "Protein Power"

You may be one of the <10% of people who have the genetics that can handle for a vegetarian diet, but you still need to maintain healthy cholesterol levels. Cholesterol is necessary for the correct membrane formation of EVERY cell in your body - you lots of it.

[Raskwold]

Mr Wampus said "Is there no pill for hypochondria?"

Thinking laterally you can cure hypochondria by consuming many bars of chocolate each day for months.That should fix it.

[John Reedy]

Wow, I was half way through tying my own noose, I didn't want to live in a world w/o Scott Adams. I'm glad I read to the end.

http://awritersblock.com

[tubaguy]

The portable monitors might not be accurate but they are consistent and so can be used to track a personal blood pressure history. There's a cool home monitor that plugs into the computer with USB to record the data. It makes a historical graph.

[bob]

Congratulations, Scott. My doctor told me that my bp monitor was correct. Dang!

So, don't change a thing about your lifestyle. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

bb

[vishalrix]

I guess one of the drawbacks of being a famous comedian* is that even on your death-bed people don't take you seriously. I feel an attack of Schadenfreude coming in.

*despite pretensions to the contrary

[60613]

I really *do* have hypertension... I bought one of those little machines, and it showed that I was about to explode and spatter anything within 150 feet with buckets of blood.

But it turned out the machine was defective. You should make sure you test it before you take it home.

[Kevin Kunreuther]

Who gets the Dilbert Blog when you die?

[Steve Ballmer]

Are you people afraid of me?

[试压泵]

Thank you for good news.

[steveballmer]

I don't like this Dilbert stuff and have banned it in MS offices!

[Jason Allen]

You need to narrow your statement to say a /healthy/ vegetarian diet and exercise works.

French fries, cheese pizza, cheesy nachos, fat ice cream, cream sauces, and et cetera are all vegetarian choices, and will all kill you just as fast as the fast food burgers.

[Columbo]

Your doc is clearly incompetent

And yes, I work at a pill factory; and our biggest selling product deals with cholesterol.

[Armando Esteban]

"Apparently more than hypertension runs in my family."

one of the best final sentences ever in this blog

[pwkwsfi]

yup, those things are a scam. even the $100+ models over-read. I have returned two of these gimmicks already. Just go visit your doctor, people.

[ms neal]

Portable blood pressure monitor when you think you live a healthy life....hmmm, can you spell hypochondria? :)

And, relax Rita Mae...it's almost over until October 1 :)

[Becky]

Geez, I'm lucky if I get 30 *seconds* with my doctor. Universal Health Care isn't all it's made out to be, I guess.

[Marty]

Scott, are you sure that hypertension runs in your family?

Maybe use of faulty home blood pressure machines runs in your family.

Just a thought.

[jerry w.]

Dear Dear Patti:

Stay or leave, but it would be nice if you would stop speaking about yourself in the third person.

Or, actually get at least a little bit funny once in a while.

The choice is yours (either one of you).

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Zach]

Hey, I know what that feels like I am also a vegetarian, exercise regularly, and am not that old, but when I went to get my blood pressure checked it would be through the roof like easily into hypertension on the good days. I finally went to a doctor who insisted that he check my blood pressure multiple times, and amazingly the 3,4, and 5th times he checked I was fine. Apparently I became anxious about my blood pressure after the first test came up high, that I would pump it up through that stress.

[Martyn]

Hey scott.

Something to try for fun.

I know you like diet coke.

Try drinking a couple of cans of it, waiting half an hour or so.. then taking your pressure to see how scary that is!

[David]

I was thinking about saying something about the 'more than blood pressure' thing while reading this, but I'm proud of you figuring it out.

[cosmo]

Scott - I am in the same boat as you with regards to genetics. Everyone on my father's side of the family has died at a relatively early age from stroke and/or hypertension-related disease.

My diet is fairly healthy and my BP (and all bloodwork) always registered in the "perfect" range. Until 2 years ago, that is. I only found out because I went to the ER for a post-surgical complication and my BP was 195/140! They chalked it up to nerves, but I knew better.

After 3 months of home monitoring and 4 consistently high readings in my GP's office, he prescribed meds.

Your readers should not assume that a home monitor is entirely accurate, but high readings should be taken seriously!

[Bruce Harrison]

Gee, Scott, if eating vegetables makes you so much healthier than we omnivores, just think how low your blood pressure and cholesterol would be if you just stopped eating entirely!

Not that I'd suggest you do that, of course, but hey, innovation is you! You could be the first to really test a new theory! Not much less wacky than some of your ideas, I must add.

Go for it! Good luck! Let us know how it goes.

[Lora]

If anything, the worry about the pressure being off the chart is the thing likely to push you off the chart. :)

I find that I can't watch any of those PBS specials on how stress kills us. Even if I'm 100% relaxed when I start watching, listening to the effects of stress on the human body makes my heart race, my blood pressure rise, my breathing to accelerate -- in short, it makes me have a stress reaction.

Which I suppose could be partially the power of suggestion, but I don't TEND to be the person who hears about symptoms and then thinks she has them.

[Joel Odom]

Hmmm... Can't worry lead to hypertension?

[patti]

Patti says:

I take many herbs and believe in alternative medicine.
It is too bad that doctors don't incorporate more of the alternative remedies with their own mainstream practices. Red Yeast Rice has helped my family lower cholesterol levels. Within a month or two, cholesterol levels dropped significantly.

And, yes .. cayenne pepper is a great remedy for increasing blood circulation. Actually, I've been told that hot peppers are also good for male enhancement and really …. LIVIN' LARGE.
BUT? Ouch, ..NO! .. You do NOT RUB the peppers on yourself .. you EAT the peppers.

And now, you know… WHY:

"Peter (the little piper) did pick a peck of those little peppers" .

…… Try saying THAT.. a few times.. real fast!

Note: **You can rearrange all the "P" words to suit yourself.

__________________________________

[Sillyme]

I had some pretty bad blood high pressure last night too, Scott… Thank goodness I had no meter or I would have broken it all up! :P

[E]

Scott,

Well sure, the portable blood pressure device doesn't measure blood pressure very well...

But it will make a decent story on internet news when someone is caught humping one in the next week or so.

Pssshtt. Pssshhtt. Pssshhtt.

Just stay the hell away from the elementary school, and everything will be ok.

[Thomas]

That leaves me with the question why are you so desperate not to die? It's coming anyway and if my doctor (as he surely will) tells me that I have to cut back on cigars and alcohol, I would send a very deeply felt 'no way' in his general direction and fix an appointment with another doctor.
Like Bill Hicks once said: "I give up seven years of my life just so I can be cool every last fucking day!"
That said, I really suffer from hypertension and I tried to do something against it. You know, eat healthy, no alcohol for weeks and regular exercise. I worked. My heart rate went down and I fealt healthier. But as alway when I do healthy things like sports and all that: It just was NOT fun.

[Patrick Hillman]

My doctor told me that I have some weird psychological condition... my blood pressure actually goes up whenever people take my blood pressure.

[JustPlainLazy]

What?... you didn't diagnose yourself over the Internet?

[Jan]

To lower hypertension risk:
- Sleep well
- Exercise a bit (you already do)
- Eat lots of veggies and fruit (you already do!) Broccoli, brown rice and baked beans are good. Pistachio's are good.
- Getting enough magnesium seems to be important (you already do!) "Nature's calcium channel blocker"!
- Don't go overboard with the fish, mercury may cause hypertension
- In a study, 2000mg vitamin C and 650mg garlic tablets normalized a marginally high blood pressure (140/90 mmHg became 110-120/75-80 mmHg).
- Coenzyme Q10 can lower systolic blood pressure by up to 17 mm Hg and diastolic blood pressure by up to 10 mm Hg without significant side effects
- Pycnogenol appears to prevent the heart from getting worn out during hypertension.

Just ask if you want the full references of the studies.

For the BP monitor: get a really good brand and follow the INSTRUCTIONS FROM THE MANUAL. And avoid those cheap wrist-models.

[Peter]

Same thing is true of instant read thermometers. We had one that said our child (infant) had a 106 degree fever, which is life threatening. Of course we went crazy and it was for nothing. Those devices shouldn't be sold since they don't work.

[Donnie]

Scott - as a public service to your crazed readers, you MUST publish this URL on your blog.

Got some old bricks in your yard? Send 'em to Mastercard!
Loose rocks from your patio? Send 'em to Capitol one!

http://officeofstrategicinfluence.com/bulkmailer/

[FMS]

As my father once said to the folks in the radiation treatment office when he was in handing out joke printouts before he went in for his radiation treatment for prostate cancer, "Hey, you're going to die of something." He survived the prostate cancer, died 5 years later of stomach cancer...

And getting your pressure checked in the doctor's office is no guarantee, either. The assistant at my doctor's office spent a good 5 minutes trying to get my pressure, and when she finally got it, it seemed quite high to me. The doctor came in a few minutes later, at which point I commented that the reading seemed high, so he redid the measurement himself. It came in right about the same as last year's reading, nowhere near the value his assistant had gotten.

I've been vegan for 15 years or so now. I love getting my cholesterol read at the office health fair. They go through afterwards and read out people's names and give them their numbers, and then give advice to anyone whose number is a little high. "Smith! You've got 195, you may want to adjust your diet a bit this way. Jones! You're at 240, you definitely want to consider doing some adjustments to your diet, and if that still doesn't help, see your doctor about cholesterol lowering medication." Then they get to me. The highest cholesterol value I've ever had was 140, and it's normally down below 130. They read mine out somewhat wide-eyed, with no comment. I just walk up, pick up the printout, smile, say "strict vegetarian", and walk away. I just about always hear "ah, that explains it" from behind me...

[Dale]

Give 'em hell Rita!
Your posts are almost as good as Scott's. Note I said almost so please don't flame me.

[DF]

I'm surprised your doctor didn't prescribe you one of those new drugs called the placebo. They are great for curing what ails you, no matter what it is. I'm starting to think they are all quacks, taking guesses, time will tell. He probably told you to take a B12 vitamin or something to solve all your problems.

[Manual]

HAHAHAHA .... Woooooh ... LOL

Sorry Scott, that was funny though....

[MattF]

I'd be cautious about declaring your blood pressure normal. BP can have a 'labile' stage where it goes up and down easily before it gets to the stage where it goes up permanently. Keep checking it.

[Surely U. R. Mad]

Don't worry, Scott. There are plenty of other ways to leave this life. Hypertension is only one way available to those who enjoy their time here a little too much, maybe.

[Bloodboiler]

I agree that visiting a doctor and not getting any pills is disappointing. Luckily this seems to be chancing in a good way. Some time ago I went to an eye doctor because of pain in my left eye. After careful examination the doctor found nothing wrong in my eye, but noted that my shoulders are stiff. He told me to get some magnesium that relaxes muscles, including the muscles that control the iris. I cant tell if it was just placebo effect, but it worked. Another doctor suggested trying a silica supplement for another problem. That may have worked also, but I cant be sure.

Considering how crappy my diet is, I may have dozens of similar deficiencies that could be cured with simple supplement pills. Since most of these pills are cheap and contain medically well known substances like calcium, vitamins etc. I doubt there would be any harm done if doctors suggested them every time patients described deficiency related symptoms.

[James]

Dang I need to get mine bp machine calibrated... I've been wondering why my bp has been up over 140 and yet I've been exercising and eating lots of fruits and veggies. It would make more sense to have the machine be off. Jeeze I'm only 28.

I guess it makes a bit of sense. My dad said his machine was off by about 9 or 10 psi...

[rita mae]

MARY writes: [One question. Since I'm not in your will does it really matter whether you're healthy or about to drop??]

What the hell is up with that? Yes, it matters. Why are you reading Scott's blog if it doesn't matter to you? I am prepared to assume that you were joking. To read Scott's blog is to love him. We don't want the ones we love to leave us. But, then, Mary..........maybe you are a first time reader? Maybe you had a bad morning getting ready for work? Maybe you don't work, and wish you did? Maybe you don't have any money and want some of Scott's? Maybe you don't care about his money and you are just a bitch? Maybe you aren't a bitch but just write the first thing that pops into your head?

Hey. I'm in the worst part of tax season, and I am still being nice to people. But don't push it, Mary. You may be the first.

Rita (I don't know how much more tired I can get) Mae

[patti]

Patti RESPONDS to Jeff:
YOU stated in your post yesterday:

**(patti, at the risk of speaking on behalf of many, i really believe you are the only one who might find your posts interesting.....)

Posted by: jeff ***
_____________

AND? ..... Patti replies:

Jeff! Ohhhhhh Noooooooooo . And I loved you soooo much!

YIPES! That was a cheap shot.. you can just drop that shot, Jeff.
My blood pressure just shot up, my heart is beating way-too-fast and I'm afraid that ..I really WILL DIE! (This is worse than a tennis match, Scott)

Gosh darn it , anyway!

__________________________

[D. Mented]

Public Service Announcement:
Eating hot peppers regularly improves your circulatory system, and pepper doesn't conflict with any blood pressure or cholesterol medications. The more, the better, but if you don't like pepper in every meal you can take it in capsules- just make sure you eat food with the pepper capsule, or it will remind you to eat when it opens.
I started taking cayenne pepper capsules becasue strokes run in my family; no strokes yet (but they don't start at my age) any I now get migraines about every 3 or four months - I used to get them every 3 or 4 DAYS.
Studies are beginning to suggest that green tea, and green tea extracts, reduces the body's production of the bad cholesterols, and helps regulate blood sugar (and prevents several types of cancer, and slows their growth if you already have cancer...seriously, if snake oil salesmen had green tea extract, they wouldn't have been lying)
check and see: http://www.lef.org/abstracts/codex/green_tea_abstracts_02.htm
D. Mented

[Tony]

Scott: Didn't you have a blog post way back that explained how *every* electronic device you have ever purchased malfunctions? And now you seem surprised that your blood pressure monitor (which I'm just guessing takes batteries and has a electronic read-out) didn't work properly.

[Mr. Wampus]

Is there no pill for hypochondria?

[Nat]

Well, DANG! So, you mean, we get to put up with you and your posts for THAT much longer? [In my best Bodyguard manner] NNOOOOOOOO!
:-)

[Mark Thorson]

For many people, blood
pressure reads high in the
doctor's office due to anxiety
etc. If you're worried about
the accuracy of your home
blood pressure monitor, buy
two of different brands. If
they both agree, then you can
believe it.

Have you had your blood iron
checked? Many people carry
the genes for hemochromatosis,
which impairs the removal of
iron from the body. For these
people, it's important to
follow a low-iron diet,
because this excessive iron
progressively damages multiple
organ systems. If you don't
know your hemochromatosis
status, you should not be
taking any nutritional
supplements that contain iron.
However, a vegetarian diet is
very good for these people.
Donating blood is also good.

[Dale]

Scott,
Don't be too hasty condeming the BP monitor. The source of error is more likely in the humans taking your readings. If you've learned to take your own with an inflatable cuff and the stethoscope, you'd realize the whole thing is subject to interpretation. I've had mine taken by 3 different people in the same office on the same visit and had 20 point descrepancies! The machine takes it the same way every time. While it's absolute reading may be off, it's the best metric for changes in your body as long as the batteries are fresh.

[Leslie]

I just don't get how you go without meat. I mean, I'm a fairly healthy eater... my wife and I look for natural products as often as possible, and rarely eat fast/microwavable/packaged food, but I don't know if I could go without meat. It just tastes so good. But I will say you're inspiring me to think more and more about my eating habits.

Anyway, I'm glad you're taking care of yourself. All the other good cartoonists keep dropping out, so we couldn't have one of the few remaining good ones biting the dust from too many Big Macs.

[Helm2Lee]

Yo JG,

> what? are you implying that vegetarian diets aren't in moderation?

My company employs a lot of Indians (the Asian kind), many of whom are vegetarians. They say that high cholesterol is a chronic problem among them, because of the way the food is prepared -- much of it is fried in heavy oil. So Vegetarian is not ipso facto healthy.

Also don't trust those blood pressure machines at the grocery store -- my dad was always getting bogus readings from them. Do like I did -- marry a nurse :-)

Helm

[Josh P.]

Funny thing with those blood pressure monitors - when I visit my parents (they have one) I'll check my pressure and the machine says 120 something over 80.

The doctor does it and I'm 90's over 60. Plus my cholesterol is in the basement.

I eat some meat very lean in small portions and usually organic and hormone free. A little meat helps balance everything out.

[Slap D. Monkey]

Portable machines of the the type you described run with the aid of the voodoo magic of a woman named Bertama. Never trust voodoo magic when it comes to your health. Everyone knows that.

[Davesnothere]

Interesting. I use an Omron also, : my wife compares it with the manual method using a sphygmomanometer, and its within a couple of points. Factory calibration may have been better on mine.

Dave

[AC]

"Suddenly food tasted better and I was filled with extra love for others. I put together my bucket list and set up an appointment with my doctor to see how long I had to live."

Not sure how much of this you are just "hamming up", but it is interesting that you chose this way of reacting versus being despondent about what you won't get to do.

Life's too short, eat dessert first.

[disembodied consciousness]

You're a dead man. Maybe it's hypertension. Maybe it's a tumor ticking away in your colon right now, tiny today, but growing exponentially. Maybe your coronary artery is just that tiny fraction away from occluding. Maybe it's bad brakes on your car that you're gonna get fixed just any day now. Maybe it's the guy in the apartment around the corner who is an undiagnosed schizophremic, ticking, ticking.

We all die. Probably the thing that is going to kill you is already malfunctioning. Even if you figure out what it is and fix it, there's always number two, ticking, ticking.

Does it make sense to worry about the fact that we are mortal? Personally, I don't have time for it.

[Mary]

One question. Since I'm not in your will does it really matter whether you're healthy or about to drop??

[Jacob Germain]

@ Canadian Cousin:

what? are you implying that vegetarian diets aren't in moderation?

[Rob L.]

>>I spent half an hour arguing with my doctor that there must be something pill-worthy about me.<<

Sounds to me like you really need to hear this tune by the Austin Lounge Lizards (and animated by JibJab) if you haven't already:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/26630/detail/

[John C.]

"...she had once rushed Dad to the hospital on a holiday because..."

On a holiday? Not Christmas or Memorial Day, just "a holiday"?

Scott, you are usually very (almost extremely) descriptive in all of your writing. To just say "a holiday" makes me wonder why you are leaving out this detail.

I smell a juicy nugget that is intentionally being kept to yourself.

John

[Splint Chesthair]

In a college lab we had to test our own urine for a variety of different chemicals (proteins, lipids, sugars) via different indicator methods. One of the dudes at my lab table got a funny result when he tested for glucose, different than everyone in the class. He went up to the professor who told him to run the test again. He got the same result and the professor took him to the side and had a private conversation with him. Next lab class he was all mad because he found out he had diabetes. Crappy way to find out but I suppose it was beneficial to find out sooner than later.

[Jane Rohan]

Scott:

When I worked in a doctor's office, we would have patients bring in their monitors and check them against our office equipment. Mostly they were accurate but not always. Also, if you have a real person checking your blood pressure (and this is operator dependent), they can sometimes hear a pulse the machine can't.

Kind of disappointing being healthy, isn't it?:) Keep enjoying the little things.

Jane

[Mike D]

A comedian, I don't remeber who, once sang:

My grandfather had a big one.
My father had a big one.
I have a big one.

[chorus]
Noses run in my family.

[Christian]

Not a comment, but I thought this is something to your liking: http://news.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/hi/health/newsid_7317000/7317311.stm

[Josh]

By comparison, you're quite lucky to have hypertension. I was diagnosed with 'IDS' (Imminent Death Syndrome) at birth.

Doctors tell me that it is definitely a terminal affliction, one that could kill me in 5 minutes or 50 years; they're not sure when it'll kill me but they're 100% sure it will at some point.

[Real Live Girl]

I'll bet if you took a home pregnancy test, you'd be knocked up too!

[Dave]

Well if those devices worked properly why would anyone buy them?

Doug- Hey Fred check out my new blood pressure monitor, wanna give it a try?

Fred – Sure. Damn Doug! My pressure’s pretty high, better get me one of these there monitors and follow this situation closely.

Or

Fred -- Hey looks like I’m healthy as a horse. Better get me one of these pricy do-dads anyhow and check every couple of weeks huh Doug?

[msl]

Better too often to doctor than not enough. Glad your monitor showed it too high when low than low/normal when too high. You should be having regular checkups anyways and now you've discovered that home health items aren't always accurate. Now to rant on about scales at home, digital or the old fashioned ones. Don't assume they're accurate either! Even doctor's offices, clinics and hospitals don't always have accurate equipment, but chances are they're better than the ones at home.
Glad to hear the good news. Take it as a gift and still enjoy the little things in life.

[julien]

Long live our Scott :)
Oh and sorry for all these years of stress with hypertension...

[Andy Cunningham]

I have one and it seems pretty consistent to me. There is a knack in using them (and having the right size cuff for your arm is also important!)

The quack still can't figure out why my cholesterol is so low, though. I'm not reknowned for healthy eating - perhaps the red wine is as good for you as they say!

[webar]

Funny.

These personal posts are funnier and more interesting than the ones where you riff on some story in the news.

I also like the philostainment posts... whatever happened to those?

:-)

[Canadian Cousin]

"Apparently a vegetarian diet and regular exercise actually works."

Wow Scott you get that from the fact that your medical toy doesn't work.

Are you sure your not a religious man, because that is one hell of a Leap of Faith

Everything in Moderation

[jim price]

The portable BP machine I use, an "Omron", seems to agree with the readings obtained during Doctor's visits and blood donations. I can usually relate BP spikes to lapses in diet. A recent salted pistachio incident got the mm of Hg up pretty high.

[dsg]

Hi Scott,

Don't worry too much about hypertension. If you get yourself checked routinely and if it pops up you get treated, life won't change, unless its really bad, then you're screwed.

I once got my BP checked at a free screening at a mall. The techs were using those portable home BP machines. I have large biceps and need a bigger cuff. My BP read off the chart on the stupid little machine. A real nurse came over and checked with better equipment and noted I was fine. I should have been suspicious that the screening was provided by a pharmaceutical company.

My local pharmacy and grocery store have those big free machines. They fit my arm nicely, and have seemed to be fairly accurate, I’m sure you must have one of those around your neighborhood.

Don’t be discouraged, keep up the health vigilance,
dsg

[jerry w.]

Sounds like hyper tension is a self fulfilling prophecy, you get worried about having it and your blood pressure goes up.

It's sort of like being so worried that you can't get an erection, and then you can't.

If only you could cross breed those so that when you worry about ED your blood pressure goes up and so does...Um, well, you know.....

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[rita mae]

Damn, Scott! At least they have tests proving my illness. Too bad they can't give me a pill.

Last time the doctors checked my cholesterol it was way too high. So I haven't gone back to have them check it again. If I don't have a stroke or heart attack from my present condition, I will probably check out from clogged arteries. With my luck, I will have a stroke and the only thing affected will be my speech and I won't be able to say "MONKEY BONE" whenever I feel like it.

Oh, well.

Rita Mae