Scientists are putting together an experiment to find out whether the present can influence the past. Theoretically, according to lots of guys with bad hair, physics allows that. But no one has proved it. Now some scientists think they have a way to do just that.
If they succeed, they’ll also have evidence for my Donut Theory of the universe (from an earlier post), the non-existence of free will, and the existence of an Intelligent Designer, i.e. humans (see the Davies quotes in the link below). Not bad for a day’s work. Readers of The Dilbert Blog already heard that stuff from me. That’s why you come here.
Here’s a link to the article.
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/01/21/ING5LNJSBF1.DTL
My track record of predictions has been fairly good this week:
1. DNA evidence shows that ape-human fossil records have been badly misinterpreted. (Nailed it.)
2. Iran is acting like a democracy (lots of public political disagreements with elected officials that will likely influence policies).
3. Free will is soon to be disproved (assuming retrocausality is proved).
4. My Donut Theory of the Universe is gaining support (okay, Einstein thought of it first but forgot to call it the Donut Theory).
5. Intelligent Design is about to be scientifically validated (the designers are humans via retrocausality).
The scientists still haven’t figured out that the way you go back in time is by going forward until you circle back to where you started. But they’ll get there. It’s the solution to string theory. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing everyone else’s work.
In 1997 I published a book called The Dilbert Future that’s full of predictions. You’d be amused at how many things I got right. For example, the last chapter describes a process similar to The Secret – currently a huge publishing phenomenon. I didn’t invent the idea, but it seemed like an idea whose time was coming. And I described it in a context that you might call retrocausality. It was by far the most popular part of my book. And the method either works, or simply feels like it works. Either way, it’s worth trying. The illusion of being in control of your destiny is very cool.
I’m spooky.
Scott,
I'm not convinced that this would disprove free will. Perhaps our choices are one of the things that operate retrocausally.
We metaphysically decide on some course of action, and that retrocauses back to the physics of our brains.
That seems about as plausible to me as the "what you think and feel inside your head is just an improvable illusion" theory.
Posted by: E | March 19, 2007 at 08:50 AM
A few years from now I already made my reservations at Douglas Adam's Restaurant at the End of the Universe
Posted by: Diana W | March 19, 2007 at 08:26 AM
My BS meter and sniff tester are burnt out.
Posted by: HALiverpool | March 19, 2007 at 08:06 AM
SiggeLund - you should read "Thrice Upon A Time" by James P. Hogan--It's about exactly what you describe, sending messages back to yourself.
Posted by: Bruce Mackey | March 19, 2007 at 07:10 AM
Does anyone else read the Wheel of Time fantasy series, where time just keeps repeating itself over such a long period of time, that no one really notices?
Posted by: notralph | March 19, 2007 at 07:03 AM
lets see you predict who's going to win the cricket world cup
Posted by: Ranjith | March 19, 2007 at 06:17 AM
Dude, I saw the headline and my BS meter started screeching like a frickin' fire alarm
Posted by: Namehere | March 19, 2007 at 05:52 AM
Smart Ass. I wonder if Gene Roddenberry is glowing with the same air of "I got it first (publicly)". Do you think the writer of Planet of the Apes will turn in his metaphorical grave, when the earth is run by apes and humans are but their slaves? How would Jules Verne describe his feelings when finding that most of his fiction has become truth?
However, I dissect your statement to pick the points I like and the ID statement concerning humans has a very good ring to it, even though I have already seen it in Douglas Adams second Dirk Gently book (I think), where a guy has a kind of time gate going back to beginning and dying there is the initiation point of evolution (again)...
Being a smart ass myself I have to say that the evolutionary process will never fully end until the host (i.e. the earth) ceases to exist. As scientist regularly are trying to point out, we are NOT the pinnacle of evolution, we are not the termination rule of a random process!
Posted by: Steffen | March 19, 2007 at 05:49 AM
Although your post was titled "Retrocausality", I read "Retrocasuality". I was anticipating a hilarious post about old, outdated clothing, music preferences, hairstyles, etc. What a bummer when I read the actual post. Oh, well. It's Monday. I should have know it was too good to be true.
Posted by: Valerie | March 19, 2007 at 05:36 AM
Okay, I'm a little late, but I have to (no free will you know) chime in on this one.
As far as anyone proving intelligent design, I must refer to the Master... Douglas Adams:
The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing."
"But," says Man, "the Babel fish is a dead giveaway isn't it? It could not have evolved by chance. It proves you exist, and so therefore, by your own arguments, you don't. QED"
"Oh dear," says God, "I hadn't thought of that," and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic.
-- Douglas Adams, The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (book one of the Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy series), p. 50
Of course this would only apply to the Biblical God. Any other God's waiting in the que still have a perfect right to lead their non-free willed ethereal existences.
Posted by: basselope | March 19, 2007 at 04:38 AM
This experiment has the same problem as a lot of physics experiments, and theories. It equates human knowledge with physical reality.
Posted by: jeqp | March 19, 2007 at 04:32 AM
Oh damn ... i think i'm spooky too cuz i too have the same kinda theory though i never voiced it fearing fatal injuries. But since u've managed to survive so far, may be i too shud write about what i feel...
Posted by: Anila | March 19, 2007 at 04:06 AM
Sounds to me like the world is ready for a Dilbert Future 2: The Donut Theory written by Scott "Spooky" Adams.
Cyrus
http://blogging4burgers.blogspot.com
Posted by: Cyrus | March 19, 2007 at 04:06 AM
The experiment doesn't prove retrocausality AND the non-existence of Free Will, it proves that at least on of the following is wrong:
1) Causality is only forwards in time
2) We have free will.
Off course, both might be wrong, but the experiment only proves that one of them are.
AB=C
^C = ^A + ^B
(In English: If A is true and B is true, then C is true. However, C isn't true, so A or B or both must be untrue too.)
Posted by: Are Riksaasen | March 19, 2007 at 02:46 AM
I think if I went back in time (or forward, however you want to look at it), I wouldn't have invented people. They're too complicated and messy. I can imagine coming up with fire or something, though. Fire rocks.
Posted by: Gavin | March 19, 2007 at 02:27 AM
Dating back to Newton's laws of motion, the equations of physics are generally "time symmetric" -- they work as well for processes running backward through time as forward.
This doesn't mean that in real life a process CAN run backwards as well as forwards, it's just that the maths equations don't care. The maths isn't real, it is just a way for humans to describe the world. In any physical sense it is impossible for me to have -1 apple, but negative numbers are a concept that is fundamental to maths.
I don't know whether Scott Adams is deliberately winding us all up or is illustrating the problems of a clever man with an inadequate education.
Posted by: Mike B | March 19, 2007 at 02:09 AM
Too cool.
The article is two months old though, any updates on the progress for these guys?
But the thought of this is shocking. If the pattern can be determined a few microsecs before actually occurring, it is easy to imagine the nerds extending the period to an hour. And then sending a bitstream through... What could be done if some people were able to send themselves a warning an hour earlier? Now THAT'S a cool cellphone application. This freaks me out.
Posted by: SiggeLund | March 19, 2007 at 02:06 AM
Some amusing anagrams of "Retrocausality"
A Trusty Calorie
A Literacy Tours
A Sultry Erotica
Is A Clear Tryout
To Lure A Satyric
Tie A Sly Curator
A Realist Outcry
Posted by: Xena | March 19, 2007 at 01:41 AM
Proof of retrocausality would not be proof of intelligent design by humans. It would only show that it is possible, not that it happened. If they show that retrocausality is possible we will probably find that the universe has included some fine print to make sure nobody actually does anything like create themselves.
Posted by: Tom | March 19, 2007 at 01:15 AM
I won't be impressed until they can un-ring a bell.
Posted by: LA Guy | March 19, 2007 at 12:49 AM
You sound like a twenty-first century Immanuel Velikovsky: you attribute to yourself other people's heavy lifting, dress it up in surrealist situations, bow for the applause and applesauce equally and rake it in. Hats off, gentlemen, hats off.
Posted by: Kevin Kunreuther | March 18, 2007 at 11:16 PM
Do you know what this means? Assuming the experiment is a success you could hook the Wave/Particle detector at the end of the 6 mile long fibre optic cable to the binary output of a CPU. Hook the other sensor for the entangled proton to a binary input of the same CPU. Now you can send data and receive it before you send it. You’ve just created a faster than light CPU … I think I will call it a Retrocausium CPU. If you can receive data before you send it you can create a loop that will process data backwards. The more data and bigger the problem the further back in time it will finish. It could solve global warming using a mathematical weather model of the earth in -10 seconds. It could analyse all the data from all radio telescopes and find intelligent life on other planets in -1 minute. It could analyse the human genome and cure all known diseases in -1 hour. The possibilities are endless … it could revolutionise the computer industry ... but I should get back to binding more project files from 1997 my boss is watching.
Posted by: Waxy | March 18, 2007 at 09:17 PM
We may circle around to where we started, in a way. There is a tribe of monkeys starting to use spears to hunt with. Starting the evolutionary process all over again being as you monkeys got it wrong.
I hope they get it right next time being as you idiots screwed up your brains so much and are destroying yourselves. Make sure you leave well documented history's of all your fuck ups with your stupid religions and maybe they will.
Billy B
Posted by: Billy B | March 18, 2007 at 09:07 PM
The TRUE donut theory -
http://www.phdcomics.com/comics/archive.php?comicid=438
And Iran is NOT acting like a democracy, USA has STOPPED acting like one. God! These Americans!!
Posted by: n | March 18, 2007 at 07:45 PM
Are you a messiah and/or may we start a religion that celebrates Adamsism?
Posted by: Andrew | March 18, 2007 at 07:24 PM