Today I Will Improve Your Sex Life

I’m reading a great book called “Influence: Science and Practice” by Robert B. Cialdini. It’s full of research and anecdotes about how to influence people. It’s a real eye-opener.

One of the most potent forms of persuasion has to do with people’s innate need to be consistent. Studies show that people will ignore logic and information to be consistent. (In other words, we are moist robots.) According to the research, humans are hardwired for consistency over reason. You already knew that: People don’t switch political parties or religions easily. What you didn’t know is how quickly and easily a manipulator can lock someone into a position.

For example, researchers asked people to write essays in support of a random point of view they did not hold. Months later, when surveyed, the majority held the opinion they wrote about, regardless of the topic. Once a person commits an opinion to writing – even an opinion he does not hold – it soon becomes his actual opinion. Not every time, but MOST of the time. The people in these experiments weren’t exposed to new information before writing their contrived opinions. All they did was sit down and write an opinion they didn’t actually have, and months later it became their actual opinion. The experiment worked whether the volunteers were writing the pro or the con position on the random topic.

Most of the truly stupid things done in this world have to do with this consistency principle. For example, once you define yourself as a loyal citizen of Elbonia, you do whatever the King of Elbonia tells you to do, no matter how stupid that is. And your mind invents reasons as to why dying is a perfectly good life strategy.

This research provides a surefire method for readers of the Dilbert Blog to improve their sex lives. Go down to the local mall with a clipboard and pretend to be doing a research experiment. Offer $1 to attractive people who will write a paragraph describing how incredibly sexy you are. (Based on the research, you should offer a low dollar amount so people don’t think they did it entirely for the money.) Tell participants that the research has to do with handwriting analysis of people who are writing opinions they do not believe. Stop after you get 100 people to do it. That’s less than the cost of one meal at an upscale restaurant.

Give the participants your e-mail address and tell them they can get the results of the research study in a month if they contact you. According to the science, about two-thirds of the people who wrote a paragraph on your sex appeal will strongly believe it a month later, no matter how hideous you are. And a few of those people will remember to e-mail you for the results. You’ll still have to close the deal, but I think we can agree that I just did the hard work for you.

You’re welcome.

[Note: Comcast still hasn't fixed my Internet connection. And TypePad isn't working either, so this might post twice. Or never.]

Comments

[ditta]

How desperate would you have to be to do that? I mean, seriously.....PAYING people to find you attractive. I'm telling all my girlfriends to watch out for weird, ugly guys with clipboards...Knowledge is power!

[Pierre Anoid]

I laughed. Thanks. BTW when I was assigned my first cubicle I bought the Dilbert TV show on DVD and read your mannagement book. I now don't have a cubilce. Not your fault because my job has little to do with how much we laugh at work.

[Bulbboy]

Thousands of moist robots can pass through my place of work in a day.

Now, just have to find a way to convince them to jot a little on my clipboard.

:D

[The Beautiful Kind]

As a woman who doesn't mind having sex with hot strangers, I just fear I would have trouble FINDING 100 hot people at the mall. But I'll try anything once.

[Bruce Harrison]

Never would have been better.

Your hubris never ceases to amaze me. "Studies show that people will ignore logic and information to be consistent. (In other words, we are moist robots.)"

How you can draw that conclusion from that statement completely befuddles me. You're saying, in effect, that the only way to prove we're not "moist robots" is to be totally inconsistent in everything we do? Great logic, Scott.

Let's see -- today I think I'll put on a dress and wear my underwear on the outside. Then I'll get into my car and drive in reverse down the street. Following that, I'll rob a bank and attempt to fly without an airplane.

Sometimes, you amaze me. And not in a good way.

p.s I would appreciate it if all the attractive women who read this post would e-mail me to tell me how much they'd like to have sex with me. Let's see if we can prove Scott wrong! (This is one of those cases where I actually hope you're right.)

[Vishesh Narayen]

Jesus, at which upscale restaurants do you eat? One hundred dollars can feed an average person for 2 weeks, a homeless person for about a month, a poor Nigerian kid for about 6 months, and a broke college student for about 1 year. Save the....college students?

[kamal]

Scott, this will blow your mind. A caller to fast food restaurants posed as a police officer and convinced them to strip employees and do lewd acts. He must've read "Influence."

http://www.courier-journal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?Date=20051009&Category=NEWS01&ArtNo=510090392&SectionCat=&Template=printart

[Al Sayre]

When someone gives you crap about holding the purse, just tell them "Well, my MAC-10 doesn't conceal well under my shirt...

[Elliander]

I thought this post was very interesting and explained allot personally. I always felt reluctant to write anything that I did not personally believe in (perhaps to protect consistency?) That I would do practically anything to avoid having to do it. But when I can't get out of it, I make fun of it.

I remember the time that I was asked to explain why being in the air force was the best job ever. So I wrote about how easy it would be to kill with detachment. Mass murder mentalities. As well the flyboy type. The teachers didn't like it, and they seriously asked me if I believed what I wrote. I laughed and told them that they were the ones who forced me to write about what I did not believe in. If they wanted me to be serious, then ask me to write about what I seriously believe in.

But darn it, about a year later I was actually considering joining the air force. I never did, but it really is true. Writing about something you don't believe in, even if you are making fun of it while supporting it, does effect consistency.

And now if you'll excuse me, this moist-robot must assume the fetal position as I my organic computer of a brain attempts to justify it's existence.

[miss]

sex seems like a lot of fun i cant wait to have it

[Dave]

The greatest thing about that study is that it doesn't have to be true -- the researchers would believe it a month later anyway!

(Yes, I know, logic doesn't really say that. Shush. Enjoy the moment.)

But this was good... finally, a truly clever post from Scott. I would thank him, but due to his utter lack of response to anything that ever shows up in comments, I suspect he doesn't actually read these comments. I have a sneaking suspicion that he writes these posts up weeks in advance and sends them to a temp service where some recent grad posts them and sorts through the comments to get rid of anything hateful or spam-like.

But I enjoy reading at least 35% of these posts nonetheless.

[NameLess One (or other)]

Wow,

It seems like a large number of readers took their sense of humour chip out, and forgot to stick it back in before reading this.

Moist Robots, Cognitive Dissonance, and freedom of choice?

I got the distinct impression Scott was taking the piss.

Hey I'm doing a psych degree too... but that doesnt mean I need to fill up someones blog comments with ramble about what *I KNOW* about STUFF!

Apparently there's another theory out there that says if you make lots of quasi intellectual comments on people's blogs you might also get laid too. (as well).

Scott I would love to ask you how you filter through all this crap to find interesting comments... but... I'm sure you never read them!

[D Gopal]

Your blog makes me wonder, how many of your blog readers are women? I'm one for example and perhaps that's why I sometimes miss your point? To me having sex with a stranger (even an attractive one) is gross and to have sex with multiple people in general just for the sex (vs. relationship etc.) is even grosser, but maybe that's because I just read an article on how prevalent certain STDs are not just in third world countries but right here in the US. I dunno, maybe it's just me, I still think random sex = yuck and having sex (being able to with a willing partner) is not a big deal to achieve??

[John]

I'm just curious, but I wonder how many people refused to participate, and whether or not these people were included somehow in the survey. Obviously it'd be hard to see if the rule held for people who refused to write something they didn't believe (at least for a relatively low dollar amount), but I can't help but wonder if these people are less prone to this thing than others. I personally try to avoid writing things I don't believe (which has gotten me in trouble in English classes on a few occasions; for some reason the teachers don't appreciate "the author of this book the teacher likes thought x, and x is retarded because ..."), but might for enough money depending on the topic and the money. Interesting survey though, and great practical application.

[HALiverpool]

My wife already thinks I'm sexy and would kill me if I tried that stunt.

[badbadshark]

I gave this a try during my lunch hour.
It is surprising how many attractive women read the Dilbert Blog.
And how hard they can slap.

[QwkDrw]

Does this mean a self-serving college professor with a political agenda may select the topic for a writing assignment with the intent to influence the previously non-existent political opinions of their students? That seems like a lot of work, when all they need do is threaten a lower grade if the student does not write the paper in agreement with the professor's opinion.

A little late to the post, here -- but do you really always believe what you have written, a month later?

[RC]

Just thought I'd let you know that I appreciate your wit and sense of humor, especially when it flies over some peoples heads in the heat of argument. You should be a columnist.

[Yuriy]

Hey, I remember learning about this study (or one very much like it) back in Social Psych! It wasn't a 100% opinion switch though. For example, people didn't suddenly start thinking that Castro was a good person, but they did start thinking that he's not as bad as everyone says he is, etc. Still, it never occured to me to use this for dating!

[Neep]

When reading through your description, my first thought was "That's me!" I argue points I don't believe in. But alas, I then realized it's normally just to argue, not to hold with consistency. That's one of the benefits of having a horrible memory. I can't remember my past stance, so I make up a knew one each time... preferably opposite of whoever I'm talking to.

[alexei]

listen scott, wats up with cats? u say u love urs and were exteemly sad wen one died but u put them on the list of top ten evils (quite rightfully). explain yourself!

[passerby]

$100 for a meal! I have never paid than much for a meal in my life even I have eaten at fancy restaurants and expensive hotels on a company expense account. I guess what I consider an upscale restaurant or an expensive hotel are different to what is on your mind. I cant even think of any place were I live that would have nerve to rip of a customer that much. But then I live in Northern Ireland, guess we just dont have as many suckers, sorry - incredibly rich people, prepared to waste that much on one meal. Do you drink a lot of expensive wine during your meal to make it cost that much? What are the prices like at your restaurants?

[Stephen East UK]

This was truely Inspired....Im off with my clip board to get some hot loving.....in the name of science ofc ;)

[schelf]

please bury comcast and all other cable monopolies in the strip. please!

[Bertram Henze]

People who write down an opinion that's not their own are idiots in the first place - the rest is not surprising; it's like handing someone a gun, telling him to aim at his own head and press and promising that it's not loaded.

I'd hate to deal with those people, let alone to have sex with them. And they are therefore not attractive, no matter what they look like.
And all I'd be is a better idiot.

Bertram