May 2008

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I happen to have Multiple Permanent Age Disorder (MPAD).

I am either 12 or 26 (happen to have passed 33 years on this earth so far though.....)

The Proof? I am ALWAYS carded. Most of my friends are mid 20's. Short of one women, all the girls I have dated are 21-25. I am still asked what I taking at the college and in my masters program, and if I am graduating this year. 80% of the time when I ask some random person how old I am, they say 26. Whenever I have dated somebody remotely close to my age they want to call me kiddo, even if I am the older.

Of course, my family and friends know that I am also 12. I even use that as the explanation. "Josh, why are you such a (insert profanity here)?!" "Because I am 12." "Yeah, you are." Like having a 33yo pre-teen prankster around. Body sounds are still pretty cool, giving family members wet willies or farting on them is still SOP.

Never had a name for it till now. But yes, I have a well defined Permanent Age, even if there happens to be two of them.


Rich V

I'm about 4...I drop the last digit of my it sorta the post and many of the comments


What a great post.

Andrew Pass

I've always said that the best middle school teachers are those people who stopped getting older in their early teens. In order to be effectiv with middle schools you really need to understand them. If you are one of them you undertand them really well. I guess this theory works so long as all middle school students are also in their early teens. But, as you can see there's an internal contradiction. I guess it doesn't work. But at least I get to point you to my blog:


I turned 40 a week ago, but people always guess my age somewhere between 28 and 32, although recently its been more the latter than the former.

Attitude wise, I'm a 28 year old and always will be. I like loud classic rock. I like to drive fast, preferably with loud classic rock blaring out the sunroof. I love motorcycles. I stay up all night and sleep in when I can. I'm an optimist, so I look to the future.

I've told my wife for years that I don't intend to grow up. My body may age and slow down, but I will always act and feel like I'm 28. Its a good fit for my personality.

And yes, I'm going to be a complete embarrassment to my children as they grow up. I can't wait!



I was out on my own and had great hopes for the future. The future was endless. I felt great. Life was good.

At 60 I still feel that way.

I still enjoy 22 year olds.

I tend to live in the present, enjoying it greatly, and just assume that the future will be about the same. I avoid revisiting the past. Either past events were bad and I want to forget them, or they were wonderful but now they are over. So, either way, remembering the past is painful for me.

Joanne Jacobs

I'm aging. For many years, I was 23. Then I realized that I was 32. That lasted for about 12 years. Now that I'm chronologically 55, I feel I should be 40 though my body doesn't agree with my psyche.


I guess I'm an old fart, because I hate baggy pants and rap music. My actual age is 38, but I prefer Sinatra to anything that's on the radio right now.

Patrick Carroll

Stephen Fry wrote a book called "The Liar." At one stage in the book the main character describes how different people are "perfect" at certain ages.

I think you've hit on something.


Wow, that permanent age thing is remarkably true. And it's weird, because I finally reached it (well, I say finally even though I'm not really very old, but everything is a matter of perspective - months are aeons when you're in grade school). Ever since I was 18, people have consistently guessed I was 26. Maybe people will keep guessing I'm 26. The last guy I dated had looked the same since he was in his early 20s, and he's 37 (everybody thought we were the same age, or maybe he was a bit younger than me... kind of creepy).

This also explains my dad: permanently 2. Just wants to goof off and play with toys. He admits it, too.


I've always been old enough to drink martinis and smoke cigarettes. TMy fantasies of adulthood were of world travel, intimate clubs and bistros, salons of brilliant cognoscenti. I was born too late for the Edwardian demimonde. Now that I'm 40-something with glass in one hand and cig holder in the other, I (barely) tolerate friends who are permanently twenty-something or under. "Ewww, is that Scotch you're drinking?" "What, you don't want to go to our wedding at Disneyland/Las Vegas/Cancun?" I have NEVER wanted to go to Disneyland, I was born with curmudgeo-vision that enables me to see through the facade of tackiness just like Superman sees through walls. I am cursed to be surrounded by overweight oldsters wearing Winnie-the-Pooh overalls and Eeyore sweatshirts. I am heartened by the seriousness of some of our young artists and entrepreneurs who are lionized by The Media. Their level-headedness gives me hope.


29. Permanant age - about 10, still sleep with a teddy bear, hate being alone in the dark. I live in my dream world most of the time. Past, present, future, and alternate realities.


I'm 32 permanently, but 39 actually. I live in the past. I want the times pre-911 when I was still innocent, thought America was great, and everything was going to be all right. Those were the happiest days of my life. I compare how I feel about things to how I felt when I was 32/33, to gauge my perception. I've been angry, bitchy, and mean ever since 2001/2002 or so, and I daresay depressed. I didn't come out of that until January of this year, when hope returned.

Bradley Gardner

I actually live in the future past. I consistantly plan my life two years ahead, so I can have good stories to tell about what happened to me in the past. I am also a collector of old photographs, music and movies (mostly 1920s and 30s), and I can't wait until technology is advanced enough to be able to store all old photographs in an easily accessible format, and all music made before 1940 is available for free on the internet.

My permanent age is 22 and 65. I like classical music and noise music, folk music and experimental rock. I hate youth but I like youthful people, I remember college nostalgicly and wish I could could putter around in my garden after I'm retired (and force everyone to respect me!)


If I had to put a number on it I'd say I've got a permanent age of 32-ish. At the ripe old age of 23 I'm 2 years out of college and I already make more money than my parents (which I'm still getting used to), I have a brand new "reliable" toyota, a house, a healthily growing 401k AND a stock portfolio and I did it all on my own. I am thoroughly enjoying my 20's but I really envision myself as having the most fun in my life being a 32 year old soccer mom... for some reason I feel like my life will REALLY begin when I have little ones running around...


My Permanent age is 21
It is the age at which you know everything and yet you strive to know more
But this, do you live in the past, present or future bit has me stumped. If the universe is doughnut shaped like you say then the past can be also be the present and the future. This is why I cannot say which time period I live in. The closest would be the present, because there is no time like the present. The present is a gift. 21 year olds also like receiving gifts......


Good question. I think my permanent age must be in my mid thirties. I grew up quickly with one parent and no siblings. Mom was very ill and died when I was 18. Those types of circumstances force one to become responsible at an early age. It taught me to not wish my time away, to plan for the future and cherish the past. Some days I do all those better than on other days...

I identified with Reedy Creek’s comment above, well, excepting for the Roller Coasters. I just completed my MS degree and still feel like I have many more career options than I really do. I’m 47 for another month.


I'm in my mid 30's. As a kid and young adult I was always more stable, more responsible - even when I was age-appropriate, I felt it didn't fit. Now that I am older, I still maintain a younger point of view, but I'm definitely beyond the 20s - pop culture is a little bit young for me.

And I live in the future, too. Sometimes I can slip into the current moment when I travel - but still I tend to imagine showing pictures to people when I return, where souveniers might go, etc.

And I think about retirement a lot. But I'm chronoligically 50.


As most gay men of the Western World I'm perpetually 23. Old enough to do most things legally, young enough to not worry about the future. Real age 29.8. My fear of aging made me start going to the gym about a year ago. And I am SOOO living the past. Or rather constantly wishing I woke up to see I'm back in spring 1999 again. With all knowledge of what I've done since then intact.

Ralf Schwate

I think I am about 15 and I live in the present (fitting to my age).

Any reason you picked the answer to the meaning of life as your age Scott?


My permanent age was 17 all through my 20's and maybe even into my 30's.

But now my permanent age is 27 so maybe it's not so permanent.


Oops. Forgot to answer the past or future thing.

Me? I think I live in all of the above. I have a bad habit of getting stuck in the past, which normally leads me to dreaming about how the future could be since the past is gone. Then I have a day or two where I forget about both and just deal with the present. Personally, I like the present. You can't get let down if the future dreams don't come true, and it's easy to forget about what happened yesterday.


Well, I'm 18. Since I was little everyone has always said I was way older than I am. By the age of 13, I was being called 30. When you compare me to most in my peer group, I'm the outsider. No interest in partying, drinking, drugs, the sex scene, or heavy rock music. I also don't swear. To most of my friends, I'm pretty boring. Oh oh, and I have very little interest in dating guys my age. They always have to be older, because my age is so immature to me.

When you look at all of those factors, I'd say I haven't hit my permanent age yet. Probably in my 30's, since I'm not set in my ways enough to be 40's.

The scary thing? I also really love bingo, think that people shouldn't wear those silly looking baggy pants, and instead of hip hop music I think heavy rock should be stopped before it rots my brain cells. Although, I guess there's certain kins of hip hop that isn't exactly in my liking cadegory, too.

So, what am I? 30's or 60's? At this rate I'll be in a rocking chair telling the "When I was young.." stories within 10 years. No, wait, already done that one. Can't remember how many times I've said "I remember when I was younger and such and such happened" to my mom recently.



This is a good question. I found this intersting because I am also forty-two. Wouldn't it be nice to see the future and know that forty-two is the best time of our short lives. I know this has been one of the best and worst years of my life. Let me explain myself...I have just filed for divorce after a twenty-three year marriage.On the flip side of that, I have met the most wonderful person I could ever want to meet. He is the love of my life and we are getting along very well. If I had it to do over again, I would have waited to marry at an older age.


My permanent age is somewhere in the 20-25 range. I was more comfortable with adults as a child and the first time I really enjoyed my life was in my early 20s. I am actually 45 but still think of myself as 20s.

My husband has always been an old geezer. He is actually 49 but his permanent age is about 70.

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