May 2008

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tim shepard

I don't get it, how did smacking his wife in the face earn $100,000?


It's a sad commentary on marriage that we assume most married people feel they have a reason to hit their spouse in the face with a tennis racket. Come on-- learn to communicate when you're not happy! (it makes the sex better too)


Obviously Andre would have agreed because if he didn't,he knew that Oprah would convince Steffi to WHACK him.


Responding to the metaphor I hallucinate you are using:

No, Imus should not be forgiven for being an ass just because he supports a camp for children with cancer. However, if being a flaming asshole were grounds for termination, there would be much more unemployment in this country.

To deprive anyone of his livelihood for shooting off his ignorant mouth, violates his constitutionally guaranteed right to free speech. And I firmly believe the only reason there was such a flap over the incident is that a pack of lawyers pulled their noses out from under their tails and sniffed lawsuit on the wind. The baying pack was closely followed by opportunistic political types who wanted to use the incident to further their own agendas.

I was always taught that a wrong cannot be corrected by another wrong. That concept seems to have been thrown over in favor of, "Let's nail the bastard!"

I can't wait to see what happens after Agassi's wife's lawyer has a talk with her.


Still boggling that he thought it was a good idea to swing a racket with his non-dominant hand while holding onto his wife with his other hand. Boggling even more that she went along with this! Seems like an accident waiting to happen. Either one of them could probably rally alone against two kids. There was no need to play fake doubles.

Real Live Girl

Hey! Oprah is a sister! No way she orchestrated this, because if she had:

1) Andre would have been the one getting whacked;

2) And it wouldn't have been his lip on the receiving end of it.

Can you smell the ratings?


"i dinno mosquitoes had di**s!!!" --psg

Of course they have, or at least the insectoid equivalent. As for having sex, what do you think is happening in a swarm of mosquitoes? Did you think they were gossiping? They only live a few weeks!

But I'm pretty sure they haven't got foreskins and therefore technically can't be circumcised.


Aww. Your poor wife! I bet she'll look better now, though. It's like a Botox treatment without the shame…


As long as we're talking about hitting people in the face with tennis rackets ...

When I was in a tennis class in high school, my opponent hit a lob that carried over my head, so I had to run directly away from the net to chase it down. I got to the ball, reached out with my racket and swung so as to hit the ball back over the net. Of course, this meant that the racket was swung toward my own face. I hit the ball first and then my face. My shot went over the net and landed in, and I won the point because my opponent was doubled over in laughter after seeing me hit myself in the face (rather hard) with my own tennis racket. Strangely, I haven't played too much tennis since that class. :)


I think it's important that someone is asking these questions. Nice one.


Hmmm. What’s scarier: saying no to Oprah or the understanding that your wife is an expert in her own right at smashing balls? ;)

jerry w

I'd guess that Steffi would have to appreciate that the guy who bid the highest was not a proctologist, that tennis racquet might leave a lasting impression on her.
I also suppose that it might not have happened if that were the case, as Andre would not want to have to be the one to follow that act, if you get my drift..... It could change the meaning of him playing in the next big "open" event


Does seem like an incredible stroke of luck for the high bidder (pun intended). :)

niCk(mem beth)

HEHE. Andre and the doctor both got to display their talents. Quite a successful demostration!

Oprah! YEEEECCCCHHHHHHHH! Its scary she is so popular in the U.S. She does a lot of good, but could you imagine her being your wife or mother. No Way. Too much ego for her own good.

Brian C.

Uh... dude... tennis balls are round, YELLOW and fuzzy... not green.


whee, law circus in action.

rob kay

That's all well and good, except that the mosquitoes that everyone knows and loathes aren't male, they're female. How can anyone, regardless of how precise, circumcise a female without surgery? Are you saying you're for genital mutilation? How dare you!

Now there's a hallucination I bet you don't even agree with.


I'd like to thank you for the last two posts. They were very good and gave me a much needed laugh.



Hmm, last blog post along this line was "steal a jewel for the Greater Good", now it's "hit your wife in the face for the Greater Good". What's going to be next? "Nuke a country for the Greater Good"?


i read the news a few hours back and i was SHOCKED that my favorite tennis player managed to whack my other favorite tennis player and was worried it could potentially rock my favorite couple's marriage
Anyway now i like federer


No to sound like a hopeless nuthugger [who said 'too late!']but I have to say this:-

You are the funniest man on the internet. One day, warsongs will be written about you around campfires across the globe.

When I grow up I want to be Scott Adams.

P.S. Do you have a large enough night stand to place your halo on when you sleep or do you sleep with it on your head?


I know of at least one comic strip artist who won't be appearing on the Oprah Winfrey show anytime in the near future. She does have a very forceful personality, doesn't she? In her line of work, it's a necessity. Especially given her difficult past.

I've marvelled at Agassi's control too. I think it would be world class television to have Andre and Steffi pretend to get really mad at each other and duel with tennis rackets. "And this one is for what you said about Mom at the Thanksgiving supper last year!"

That's the sort of show that would bring in the donations. After all, the public STILL goes nuts for Jerry Springer. (Maybe that's why he does all of the charity work HE does. It's a cure for the guilt over his show.)

the devil

imagine wht wud have happened if it was lenoox lewis and not andre agassi being interviewd.... it wud have been a plastic surgeon and not a physician....


huh!! im in india and its afternoon now...i dont work!! and you dont sleep!!

and what was that about circumsizing mosquitoes? can it be done...can federer or sampras do that? i dinno mosquitoes had di**s!!! do they even have sex for that matter? if male mosquitoes had di**s, then would female mosquitoes have boobs? hmm..nowwhich tennis player could give a boobjob to a female mosquito in the midst of a backhand stroke?!!

i wonder where do you get ur ideas from? and that too in the middle of the frickin night!!


if Dr. Phil co-hosts a show do you think HE'LL get to beat someone to death with a tennis racket? You know he wants to:

Oprah could even do a spinoff later on - a sort of Celebrity Death Match. She'd have to put some rules in place ahead of time or all of celebrities would be choosing photographers and columnists.

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