Chair Butt

This week in the Dilbert comic, Alice discovers she has a bad case of chair butt. United Media, the company that syndicates Dilbert, rejected the first version I submitted. It looked like this:

My editors thought the pose looked too provocative. They requested I redraw Alice in less of a “mount me” position. I argued that in the context of a medical exam, no one would interpret her pose as sexual. This argument did not carry the day. So I went back to the drawing board with the instructions to make it look “more medical.”

At this point in the story I should pause to confess I did not attend medical school. I don’t know exactly how a trained physician would examine a patient for signs of chair butt. So I took an educated guess and resubmitted the comic. Here’s a peek.

Although my editors have no formal medical training, they were nonetheless certain my depiction of a chair butt exam was inaccurate. I went back to the drawing board a third time and drew the version that was accepted and ran in newspapers. Here it is.

What I learned from this experience is that being a doctor takes more than common sense and a willingness to look at unattractive naked people. I don’t know how much more it takes, but I intend to keep drawing comics until I find out.

Comments

[Alexandra]

Sounds like someone needs that doctor to find their head.... LOL

[Jo]

Certainly, the only way to diagnose "chair butt" is for the patient to get on all fours on the examining table while the doctor faces said rear head-on--when drawing for medical accuracy, of course.

He also repeatedly slapped her behind in order to determine if there was any loss of feeling. In a missing panel, she was shown rotating her hips so he could check her range of motion.

[Satanscock]

I kept clicking back and forth on the two positions to compare them
I have to watch some porn now....
thanks

[me]

Number 2 was terrible, i am very happy your editors are smarter, or have more common sence that is not so common, than you. I am scared!

[Listo Entertainment]

Do you mind if I print this strip and use it to confort myself in my lonely nights?

[Dr. JR]

As a true professional (GI MD) I am relieved that she is only suffering from the potentially reversible "chair butt" as opposed to the much more extreme "cadaver butt" - this may be a chicken - egg question, i.e. was it severe enough to be fatal, or is it simply by virtue of lying motionless for an extended period of time.

[Ed]

The strip they put in the Detroit News has her looking like a flat panel. I really don't understand what the hassle is. Look at Mary Worth, half the time the women are half dressed.

[Leora]

I had chair buttocks once. I had to set traps to catch them, then released them into the wild. Just don't ask me what I used for bait...

[Steve Downing]

I am sure I have at least as much editorial training as your editors have medical training. I think you know where I'm going.

[Andy]

You know, when I first saw the thumbnail of the second version, I thought it was couple (doctor and Alice) in passionate embrace, kissing. Then I clicked to see the full-size drawing...

[TrevOverT]

XX EE got it dead right Scott, with your submission of drawing two rejected the paranoid editor would automatically have accepted your first drawing.
Seems to me you need to play your editor(s) with more of your scathingly obscure wit.

[bigD]

i am really grateful that you have an editor...especially for the young impressionable people out there. on the other hand, i really enjoy getting to see this version. i am mature enought to handle it...i think.

if you are looking for a new editor, please let me know. i don't really have any qualifications but it would be a lot of fun.

btw..i saw you in Las Vegas a month ago where you gave the keynote address. i haven't laughed that hard in many years. Thank you!!!!!

[shaun]

nominations for the 3rd panel caption...

... It's barely noticeable with your radio face.

... I could prescribe a series of injections.

... The mannish pantsuit beats any prescription I could write you

[Dyakson]

It would be really nice if dilbert.com would display the high-res pictures you post in the blog - often I can't see the detail in the strip. Or is this impossible because of piracy?

[Diana W]

I'm curious what it takes to be a comic strip editor and how much it pays. I envision about 362 days a year just reading the strip, chuckling and going, "yeah, that's fine", and about 3 days a year of "Uh, oh. Scott's getting frisky again - got to rein him in." I want that job!

[Clair]

After reading all of the above I have discovered that a cartoonists life is more complicated than I suspected. Beware the cartoon police. Your blog is great.

[Gunnar]

Just take the first version... and leave the chair attached.

No provocation - unless someone's into hard spiky metal.

[nakliyat]

thank you very very nıce thank you very very much...

[Pete]

Oh man, that second one was totally hot. Looks like the Doctor has diabetes, and Alice's butt has the cure in it!

[John]

I am no expert but her doctor would have to be extemely tall to be able to mount her when she is on the desk like in the fiorst strip. In the final version she is clearly ready and just needs a willing partner of aproximately the same hieght.
Though I don't know her personally I don't think Alice is the kind to take it from behind. She seems to be more of the throw him down and make him pay type.

[Borg Warrior]

I'm reminded of the old Gary Shandling joke, which goes something like:

"Always remember one thing when you get a proctological exam: GO TO A PROFESSIONAL."

[Nach]

http://blog.guykawasaki.com/2007/04/ten_questions_w.html

Check out the comments on freewill - very interesting

[Kalle E]

No one actually reading Dilbert on a regular basis could ever have the oppinion that Alice could demonstrate a "too provocative pose".

And anyone actually telling Alice this would probably end up with a bad case of "fist of death".

Lucky for the sorry-looking doctor he did not bend over himself.

[Charles]

In the real world of the consulting room, she would have to be, well, "butt naked". And lying on her side. With her wearing a medical dressing gown (you know, the ones which close at the back instead), and a blanket or sheet covering the rest of her body to give her less of a sense of actually being naked (which is a lot of bull - ask me, I have been a patient too). And my pretty nurse would need to be in the same room too.

The butt however, would still need to be naked though.

United would not fall for that type of realistic cartoonism, would they?

Charles (Family Physician)

[CLD]

I suppose they could've been looking over X-rays that revealed her condition, but that would've been less funny and awesome.