I Wish I Had a Government

I’m so jealous of countries that have governments. How cool would that be?

Many years ago, the United States had a government that did impressive things such as winning wars, spreading democracy, and solving huge social issues. In time, it turned into a government that was good at getting blown and tattling. Then we had a government that was too incompetent to do even that. Now we no longer have a functioning government of any kind. The good news is that we seem to have reached a plateau.

Recently our so-called Speaker of the House was meeting with the Syrian government while our so-called Vice President was on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show reminding the world that the so-called Speaker of the House doesn’t speak for the United States in foreign policy. Foreign policy is the job of the so-called President who doesn’t speak to governments that don’t already agree with him.

Today I read that the Defense Department is releasing a report that there was no link between al-Qaeda and Iraq, at the same time that so-called Vice President Cheney was repeating his mantra that there was indeed a link. My tax dollars paid for all of that. I don’t think I got my money’s worth.

Meanwhile, the Democrats are poised for a big win during the next election based on their excellent track record of doing nothing for years. Doing nothing might not sound like a good strategy to you, but if you compare it to what happens when the government actually does something, you can make an argument.

A good test of whether you have a government is this: Can your country do anything big and important? For example, could the United States start a new war, or end an existing one, or change its dependence on foreign oil, or provide health care to all citizens? Apparently not.

At this point, the so-called government does little more than provide content for news channels and blogs. I think they should do more. For example, I’d like to see Congressmen and Congresswomen run across a field of rakes every morning to get to work. For me, it would only take a few rakes in the face per day to make me feel as if my tax dollars weren’t a complete waste.

Is that too much to ask?

Comments

[mike]

If this comment actually made sense you might sway someone to believe that you have a point. Today was not your day.

"I find the vast amount of ignorance of how our government actually works, how trends in human events take longer than a 30 minute TV show and the total gullibility of most people to be endlessly amusing.

Posted by: Jim | April 06, 2007 at 03:22 PM "

[mike]

If this comment actually made sense you might sway someone to believe that you have a point. Today was not your day.

"I find the vast amount of ignorance of how our government actually works, how trends in human events take longer than a 30 minute TV show and the total gullibility of most people to be endlessly amusing.

Posted by: Jim | April 06, 2007 at 03:22 PM "

[mike]

If this comment actually made sense you might sway someone to believe that you have a point. Today was not your day.

"I find the vast amount of ignorance of how our government actually works, how trends in human events take longer than a 30 minute TV show and the total gullibility of most people to be endlessly amusing.

Posted by: Jim | April 06, 2007 at 03:22 PM "

[jc]

I see it this way. The government is supposed to represent (a subset) of the people it's governing. Most people are at least partly stupid - and sometimes even outright morons. The government can only correctly represent its people if they act ludicrous themselves. So actually Bush is just doing democracy a favor. Or he just likes to squander money and wage unfounded wars that are practically unwinnable. One or the other.

[Shawn]

Worth repeating here:

"the President's job is not to wield power but to distract attention away from it" -- Douglas Adams

[Scott Sobel]

Steve Ferry,

I appreciate the sentiment of your chimp remark. But, please don't insult chimps. They wouldn't elect Bush ... either.

[ex CC boss]

To FGK:
How many times do we have to tell you brain dead people?
The poster's name is under the post. Is that so hard to understand?
(my name is ex CC boss. It is under my post. get it?)

[Michael Gorsuch]

Scott, while I mostly agree with your article, you have to know that our government is certainly competent in *starting* wars. They just lack in morality of any kind. And planning skills. And execution. And the humility to admit a mistake of any kind. And tolerance for anything different than themselves. And souls.

OK. I'm done. Thanks for the quality work.

[ex CC boss]

Once again, you have hit the so-called nail on it's so-called head. The government by the people, for the people, and of the people has perished from this earth. Is there another Earth we can go to? Please?

[WGShort]

I agree with GO FAR WITH A CAR; if we could only get rid of the AARP, Sierra Club, Whale Watch, etc lobbies; everything would be much better.

[jomama]

It appears that most governments will soon have done enough
to leave a large part of the planet in rags:

http://djomama.blogspot.com/2006/12/first-world-government-junk-bonds-on.html

[Peter Canessa]

You're lucky you don't live in England. Here we are the most policed but crime-ridden society in the Western world with the most corrupt and totalitarian 'government' we've had since the 1600s. 'Liberalism' has been translated to mean 'banning things', 'social concern' to mean 'banning things for other people'. Oh, and we're run by Scots, who have their own parliament, but aren't allowed to have our own.

Mind you, since Bliar and co learnt all their 'news-management' from the USA and there's a Clinton back in the race you may well end up going down the drain with us.

[RavenBlack]

"on Rush Limbaugh’s radio show reminding the world"

I assume this is the Bush definition of 'world', where it means 'right-wing Americans'.

As in "leader of the free world".

[canajian]

I have to tell you that you were wrong. You still have governments. Not singular. Plural.

The most significant job of a government is to collect taxes. Your taxes. And all US governments at federal, state and city levels are doing their job too well.

What even hurts you more than making this fatal mistake is that, you are paying these taxes.

[Billy B]

Democracy = A bunch of monkeys fucking around with each other. The children (or the child in the adult) trying to get the parents into having things their way.

But only mature parents should be allowed to run a country.

[bill]

You don't vote, so you get what you vote for.

[Veggen Skrik]

What's with the Americans and wars? I really thought this text would be worth reading, but crap like 'winning wars' and 'starting wars' convinced me otherwise. Your country goes around destroying lives for it's pathetic goals (my town has been bombed and I sure as hell know I haven't deserved it) while you whine 'we can't even start a war anymore'. I'm discusted. Please go to a war and make sure you get killed, so that I can stop worrying about running into a nonsense of a text like this ever again.

[The writer formerly known as CC]

Is it just me or did Richard Branson (governer of New Mexico) just get people to approve a tax hike to built a Spaceport in NM for *his* space tourism company??

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/6532383.stm

What the hell is wrong with you people?

You'll pay extra money for a fucking spaceport but you won't support public health care, your educational system is a disaster, half your popultion is below the poverty line and a chimpanzee-wannabe is running the country! Unbelievable...

[Michael LaRocca]

In response to your latest newsletter, since as usual I never reply to the blog entry in question...

Big Woody

[Dom]

I wish I had a government too. (I'm from the UK).

[Josh]

Dear Scott,
My nifty response to your rake theory is to copy something somebody else already said: We should impose Robert Heinlein's "Starship Troopers" standards upon the election of government officials. The part I like about that system is that the politicians would have to perform some meaningful public service, or at least gobs of demeaning and useless labor, fo a period of years before ever being allowed to hold ANY OFFICE. That standard would've weeded out every member of our current Executive Branch (except for the military-oriented cabinet positions) before they got on the ballot. (GW's less than outstanding National Guard service would have resulted in a Bad Conduct Discharge that would bar him from even holding the office of traffic cop.)
It's not perfect, but all I'm looking for is a system that works satisfactorily.

[Go Far With A Car]

If we, in the USA would abolish lobbyists, we would eradicate 90 percent of the problems we have.

[Don]

Thank you for an insightful column. I think Dogbert could do a better job of running the country than Dick and George. The only reason Pelosi went to Syria was to convey to the Syrians that we don't all suffer from cephalo-rectal inversion. They may have gotten the wrong idea after 6 years of cretin like foreign policy of our current administration. Thanks for keeping me laughing and sane with your cartoons and writing.

[PGK]

I can't tell who made the first comment by just looking at it. Is it "Bob," or is it simply not signed by anyone?

[Jason Allen]

Bob stated "For those of you who may have forgotten, it's a simple three step plan: Step 1 : Don't allow gay people to get married. Step 3 : Profit!"

It's not all our fault. It's at least partly God's fault for punishing the US for not killing us homos in the streets. I liked it better when the underpants gnomes mostly ignored us homos and focused on outlawing abortions. Back then the plan was:

Step 1: Ban abortions and bomb all baby-killer doctors.
Step 2:
Step 3: Profit!