Brazilian Erection Spider

There’s a funky little spider in Brazil. Its venom gives male victims hours-long erections. How cool is that?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,269455,00.html

Apparently the spider’s venom doesn’t kill. It just causes pain and gives guys major erections. In other words: best. . . practical. . . joke. . . ever.

I wonder if you can order a jar of those spiders over the Internet. I don’t know anything about spider venom, but let’s say for the sake of this blog that you can squeeze a spider with a pair of pliers and get some venom for your evil purposes. Then slip that venom into an unsuspecting victim’s drink. The key to this prank is picking the right victim at the right time. Some examples spring to mind:

- Groom before the ceremony
- Presidential candidate before a debate
- Teacher before sex education class
- Major league pitcher in game seven of the World Series
- Ballet star before a performance
- Priest before communion
- Host before a toddler beauty pageant
- Olympic wrestler before a match

If you owned a sheep farm, this would be an excellent prank to play on job applicants. “We had to fire that last guy because he liked the sheep too much, if you know what I mean. Anyway, have a beverage and let me show you the herd.”

Do you have any more prank suggestions?

Comments

[PAYTON]

Go out on a limb

[KAITLYN]

Channel surfing

[Amanda]

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I haven't gotten much done , but it's not important. Not much on my mind lately. Today was a total loss, but so it goes.

[Penisa]

I have found few blogs having good content. And I think you are doing a very good work buddy. Keep up your work. This post was really a nice piece of your work.

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[iou]

Pretty nice site, wants to see much more on it!

[The Tree]

Yes, in theory that would be the best practical joke ever. But since this venom causes priapism, it can be rather harmful to the person exposed to it. I may cause ischemia, impotence and even gangreen, which may lead to a penectomy. Of course only in rare cases, but it is a serius condition.

But unfortunaly, the venom only works if taken intravenously.

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[email protected]

[Steve]

Roald Dahl has this well covered in "My Uncle Oswald".

http://www.amazon.com/My-Uncle-Oswald-Roald-Dahl/dp/0140055770

[DarthMommy]

"...they injected the venom-chemical into rats stimulated to begin an erection."

Everyone feels sorry for the lab schmuck who has to stick the needle into the rat's penis to measure the erection, but I feel sorry for the one who has to stimulate the rat first.

"Hi, honey, how was work today?"
"I jerked off a rat."

Now that's a bad day.

[Listo Entertainment]

From now on, this line will help me in thos awkward moments in crowded public transport:
"Ups, sorry, it's not what it seems, I have just been bitten by a spider!"

[Andres]

Jesus when he asked for a drink on the cross

:-)

[Sir Mike Tallon]

Before someone delivers a eulogy.

[Orange Candy]

This was totally hilarious. Okay, here's what I could think of...

- Teenager asking dad to borrow car
- Man buying a doll at a toy store
- The weather guy in the news
- Yoga guru before demonstrating a new exercise
- Guy introducing an old friend to girlfriend

[patti]

Forget the spider. Give me SIX HANDS oops ...of bananas!
..LOL.. only kidding...wink-wink

And tell me, how do we females know..whether or not.. all the webs and eggs assiciated with this leg-lifting spider (and family) have been removed BEFORE the act?
Hmmmm? eeewwwww

*This is the most... cock-a-mang-ie story I ev-va.. hoid!

.......Patti

_____________

[Phil]

I'm a brazilian.

In Brazil, we call a 'spider' what you americans call a 'beaver'.

Yeah, two different spiders to make mr. Johnson happy!

In fact, the popular name in Brazil of this 'Phoneutria' spider is 'aranha armadeira', which translates into 'the spider that rises its legs to attack'. But 'aranha armadeira' can also be construed as 'the spider that makes your cock hard.' I'm pretty sure that this second meaning is pretty accidental, but it's damn amusing.

As Elliander tell us, it's also known (abroad only) as the 'banana spider'.

It gets pretty phallic, uh?

But, as a matter of fact, it's a very nasty spider, just read about it here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_wandering_spider

There are lots of it in my area.

[pat (guest)]

LOL
I want the Jelly Belly version!

call em....
Beanie Weenies!

Just slip one to a colleague and watch him grow!
Cubicles will never be the same again...
hahhahaa

[ayre]

Should we name the spider Archanid Weenie-erectorus? And maybe start cultivating them to be sent out as Christmas presents?

[airr]

hmm...i'm thinking,it might be a bit hard on a bunch of eunuchs...

[Gabriel [from Brasil]]

You must see what happens when we eat the spider in breakfast.

[ss]

Give it to the policeman before he start taking attendance of all the criminals in Jail.
I swear, criminals would not dare to come to that jail again... he he he

[snroy]

Could be tried on;
;Naked fakirs of India known as Naga sanyasi.
; the guy who is about to face body frisking at the airport.

[Dave K]

What's the big deal? Usually the mere sighting of a spider produces an erection in a healthy, normal human male.

[Kevin Kunreuther]

"I'd prefer a spider that makes women unbearably horney when it bites them.

If your spider bites me then I'm just a homely, awkward, nerd with a raging boner that I have to get rid of. At least with my spider I might get some - whether or not I can get or keep an erection."

And then you get stuck in an elevator with Roseanne and Rosie O'Donnell. Enjoy muchkin!