Traditionally, the word sheikh has been a title of respect for an old, scholarly, tribal elder. Lately it refers to anyone who is a leader. If they keep lowering the bar, you have a good chance of someday being one.
Sheikh is a great word on several levels. First, there’s the silent h on the end that practically says “fuck you.” It doesn’t even pretend to be working. I like consonants with attitude.
Second, the word just rolls off the tongue in a pleasing way. It sounds like my impression of an arrow flying through the air and hitting its target. Try it at home: sheeeeeeek.
My new goal is to be known as Sheikh Adams. For that, I’ll have to become a leader of some sort. Unfortunately, I am not evil enough to inspire people to do things that are not in their best interest, the way a proper leader would: “Ignore those machine guns and charge the hill!”
The best I can do is to inspire my followers to do what they want to do anyway. Today I would like each one of you to eat, poop, and have an orgasm. (Not at the same time.) Once you have completed the Holy Trinity, or whatever you call it in your house, you may refer to me as Sheikh Adams.
Is that enough disturbing juxtaposition for one day?
Very well thought out post. Thanks for the good reading material. You gave me some things to think about.
Posted by: Universal Life Church | March 05, 2008 at 04:28 PM
You can read more of what God had to say during the month of Aug. 2007, on this website Non-Prophet, Are you going to Hell? Melanie also gives PROOF that God made contact on this site. The proof is in the story of 3 famous people Mike Douglas, Merv Griffin and Nancy Reagan. I hope you get it. God went to a lot of trouble to get his message out. He is also worried about all of his creations.
God had more to say on Aug. 15, 2007. God said this: "We each die in succession, then we are born on the same day."
Posted by: Melanie Stephan | August 27, 2007 at 07:59 AM
Hm. I think Sheikh is actually pronounced more like "shake" than it is like "sheek" (otherwise the French wouldn't know the difference between "fashionable" and "oppressive Muslim leader". Oh, wait...)
Also, I think there's a kind of guttural sound on the end of the word "Sheikh". Like "shake", but with a clearing-your-throat sound on the end of it.
Posted by: SmR | June 26, 2007 at 10:16 AM
Hi Shiek, I have a very big story to tell you and it is not about web design, spagetti, electronics or job performance. I have mostly been going to christian sites, but heck, we are all in the same boat. Then I never really associated with Church people. Never go to Church myself, hate the music and they always ask for money. The big story is this: Jesus came and talked to me for several months. He talked about the beginning and the end. He came with me to the top of a hill and showed me where the Earth was once covered by a great Ocean. He showed me the fossils and the smooth stones polished by the tides. He brought Neb to talk to me about the dinosaurs. He spoke of the end and the difficult times ahead. He spoke of Judgment Day. He told me the meaning of first is last and last is first, Birth in Heaven is Last. Jesus told me the meaning of the numbers. He spend months talking to me and told me a number of things mostly about what is in Revelation. He did not tell me when he was coming back or if everyone would see him. He left me with thoughts of him and what he wants me to do with all of the things he told me. One more thing not only did Jesus talk with me, so did the Father and the Holy Ghost. Last of all I love science, I can prove that there is a God. No one is interested. The biggest question ever asked and I have proof. Maybe scientists would be more interested in the proof that Church people. Melanie Stephan
Posted by: Melanie Stephan | June 06, 2007 at 11:31 AM
Sheikh Adams,
I Thank God (if It exists), for the comma between "eat" and "poop". :)
Ashish
Posted by: Ashish Banerjee | June 01, 2007 at 11:40 PM
my first (and in all likelihood the last) visit to your blog and quite disappointing, the humour is in bad taste, even for a post tagged 'nonsense' I expect some thing witty and not offensive to another culture.
Posted by: Singh | May 30, 2007 at 12:35 PM
maybe you should a link contest like JohnChow.com
have people put a link to this site with the tag of Sheikh. With enough links, searching for 'sheikh' on a search engine will return this site first!
Posted by: Adventures In Money Making | May 30, 2007 at 11:21 AM
May I pronounce your name as Sheek( as in Kebab) A-dumbs( the B being silent of course) in honour of your brilliance and cultural awareness in this great post.
Cheers
Shyam
Posted by: Shyam | May 26, 2007 at 08:02 AM
I'm sure somebody has mentioned this by now, but the "h" isn't silent. The letters "kh" together just make a sound that there is no letter for in English, so they just put two letters together and hope that it sounds about right.
My last name is the same way... I have a "q" with no "u" after it (the name is "Siddiqi"). It's because the "q" is supposed to approximate the sound of a letter that you can't pronounce no matter how hard you try.
Posted by: Shan | May 24, 2007 at 10:15 AM
Actually the word "sheikh" can only be given on three occasions. First one is that you have born into a royal family of other "Sheikh's" second is that you are a religious Islamic scholar of a specific level or an Emam. Finally, people will call you sheikh if you create a username that begins with the word sheik (e.g. Sheikh_killer_1987).
Posted by: Sheikh Soud | May 24, 2007 at 08:31 AM
Heil Sheik Adams!
Posted by: Elijah | May 23, 2007 at 02:28 PM
You know, because of this article, I now have a strange urge to go to the bathroom...
Posted by: Eric Conrad | May 23, 2007 at 01:53 PM
Scatalogical humor is shitty.
Posted by: Drew | May 23, 2007 at 01:39 PM
You would be entitled to many women and much land. Would the newest wife be interested in that trade off? She may...
Posted by: @Rob | May 23, 2007 at 11:22 AM
actually it's meant to be pronounced "shih" so it's really the "k" that's saying fuck you not the h.
rich
Posted by: Richard Muscat | May 23, 2007 at 03:02 AM
Sheik Yerbouti would be mine...
Posted by: XmasB | May 23, 2007 at 02:26 AM
god save the queen!
it's not a human being
it's a fascist regime
we mean it, man
England's gardening and
Helen Mirren's dreaming
Posted by: Gleetnorx | May 23, 2007 at 02:12 AM
Ok sir, you're my sheikh.
Posted by: MichaelMD | May 23, 2007 at 12:09 AM
It is actually 'shake', but I guess Doug already said that.
Posted by: Daniel | May 22, 2007 at 11:52 PM
Sheeeeeek Adams? Very chick if you axe me, eck-specially if you have oldtimer's disease. Although for all intensive purposes your sheek's close will probly make you look like you blong in the Klu Klux Klan, which might make your real-a-tor prespire. That could be a blessing in the skies, as they are supposably fair to everbuddy.
Sheeeeesh (<--Here you can take the long "e" for granite.)
--Blue Mikey
Posted by: Blue Mikey | May 22, 2007 at 06:21 PM
Walalalalalalalalalalalalala!!!!! Sheikh Adams
Posted by: islesfan | May 22, 2007 at 02:36 PM
"The Holy Trinity" - that's priceless!
Sacrilicious, if you will.
As a former Catholic, that tickles my goat.
I hereby promise you that I will perform the Trinity today (I have been doing so for the past few days, at least, anyway).
Posted by: Matthew Kovich | May 22, 2007 at 09:50 AM
What does Scott, a baby's toy, and dinner bread have in common with a classic song?
Sheikh, Rattle, and Roll
Posted by: Jonathan | May 22, 2007 at 09:05 AM
"Today I would like each one of you to eat, poop, and have an orgasm. (Not at the same time.)"
Scott,
Is the parenthetical section an official part of your decree or is it just that you don't want to hear the icky details?
And it they DO happen at the same time, has your decree been violated?
Posted by: Terry | May 22, 2007 at 08:02 AM
Been reading cyanide & happiness???
http://www.explosm.net/comics/297/
Posted by: JayneMarie | May 22, 2007 at 07:46 AM