The other day my BlackBerry alarm went off at 5 AM, as usual. For some reason I was abnormally tired so I stayed in bed another hour. At 6 AM I popped out of bed, walked across the street to my office and started my workday. After an hour or so of happily working, I noticed the sun hadn’t come up on time. I could think of two possible explanations:
1. The Earth had stopped rotating and I didn’t live on the lucky side of the planet.
2. I had forgotten to reset the time on my BlackBerry after my trip from the East Coast.
Naturally I decided to first check on the rotation of the Earth. So I flushed a toilet to see if there was any change in the Coriolis effect. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a control toilet on a planet I knew was rotating, so the test was inconclusive.
I moved to plan B and checked the time. This was easier. All it required was looking at the lower right hand side of my computer display.
Oops. I had accidentally gone to work at 3 AM.
Luckily, I’m a morning person. So I just kept working. It wasn’t an issue. But that’s not my point. My point is this: If you thought my joke about the Coriolis effect was funny, I predict no one wanted to have sex with you in the past week. And next week isn’t looking good for you either.
And if you read this post and thought to yourself, “There’s no way he would have the sensitive instruments necessary to measure the Coriolis effect,” I predict you have not had sex for at least a month. And next month isn’t looking good for you either.
How close is my prediction?
Oh man I had a few laughs with this one...
I would like to add to it two things if I may...
1-If the thing about scotty's rocket and this thing about that effect made you laugh your ass off like it did to me you are exactly the short of person mr Adams says (best nerd test ever!)
2-If you ended up engaging in a discussion about the carolys effect in the comments sections you're even more nerdy!
3-Gezz...Scott already solved that thing disproving that the carolis effect exists!
4-I think in the nerd scale...Im almost about to get a "my other car is the millenium falcon" bumper sticker! Oh!
Posted by: gargamel | April 16, 2008 at 02:14 AM
When I read the part about the Coriolis effect I was reminded of a recent study I had read that showed the Coriolis effect had zero effect on which way water goes down a drain. I was slightly annoyed that this was referenced probably because it made me feel superior knowing something contrary to what you stated, which in turn makes me a snooty jackass.
As far as sex goes, my girlfriend and I had sex yesterday. I am 24, she is 22.
Posted by: Chris S. | October 16, 2007 at 08:12 AM
I don't know, i have been getting laid.... ;-)
Posted by: funny videos | September 18, 2007 at 12:14 AM
I read that Coriolis bit and thought, "that wouldn't work..." Then laughed at the end. I do have somebody who wants to have sex with me. But he would probably think that was funny, too, so I don't know if that counts.
Posted by: Becca | June 08, 2007 at 10:19 AM
Only just stopped laughing long enough to type.
What is this sex everyone is talking about?
Posted by: pendantic john | May 20, 2007 at 06:15 AM
I thought the joke was funny - and your prediction was off. Not sure what this means for me, but probably what it means is that you can't predict stuff for statistically average people.
Posted by: Jason Dumler | May 19, 2007 at 07:02 AM
Pretty dead on.
Good job
Posted by: bite | May 18, 2007 at 02:25 AM
Pretty far off!! Screwed all weekend several times, and next weekend's looking good too, Mr. Adams. You know, there ARE geeky swingers in the world too, and some of us DO have those naughty MUST-DO-AN-ENGINEER genes in us too.
Guess the man's just lucky, eh? (He got it too. ;)
Posted by: Daphne | May 15, 2007 at 03:32 PM
Your predction would be very poor indeed...say, a 'month short a few hours ago' poor!!!!
By the way, I am a morning person as well! I hardly EVER go to sleep before I get to greet the sunrise! Though I must say, the mornig racket the birsd put up could easily prvent one from sleeping from 3-4 days. But then again, sleep is much overrater.....
Going to sleep (not to bed) before sunrise is just unnatural and wrong!!!
How could you EVER trust someone who indulges thimselves in such a hedonistic way as to fall asleep before sunrise!!! Ridiculous!!!
Posted by: Alexandra | May 14, 2007 at 11:16 PM
Man I envy morning people!
Anyway, not accurate at all. Not all geeks are ugly and/or a social misfit! =)
Posted by: Kelly Cho | May 14, 2007 at 05:49 PM
50% accurate. I laughed. A lot. But I did have sex last week, however, this week? Not looking so good.
Posted by: Noelle | May 14, 2007 at 10:13 AM
I thought that indeed you wouldn't have the instruments to measure it and my wife can get enough of h0t sex so i'm looking good!
Plus, are you saying that your wife doesn't put out enough?
Posted by: Luke | May 14, 2007 at 09:40 AM
my boyfriend thought this was funny...
what does it say about me that i'm having sex with the guy who shouldn't be getting laid for at least a week?
nothing good probably...
Posted by: Felicia | May 13, 2007 at 11:20 PM
Now, how would you have a control toilet...it would have to be on another planet and you would neeed to have instant video feedback...and a monkey or something that flushes it for you upon request. Ofcourse the monkey would have ot use a different place to discard of its feces..because you wouldnt want your control toilet clogged....
Posted by: Zlata | May 13, 2007 at 07:23 PM
I didn't think either of those and I get plenty. Does it mean I'm not a geek though? :( LIES!
Posted by: Emily | May 13, 2007 at 05:56 PM
I didn't think either of those and I get plenty. Does it mean I'm not a geek though? :( LIES!
Posted by: Emily | May 13, 2007 at 05:11 PM
unless you, like me, have a girlfriend who's about as geek as you are.
I mean me, not you.
oh well. nice post :)
Posted by: lorenzo | May 13, 2007 at 05:00 AM
Scott
I hate you
Posted by: abominable noseman | May 13, 2007 at 12:57 AM
Vice Captain Morgan - what's your email?
Posted by: Fembot | May 12, 2007 at 10:35 PM
Fuck you.
Dead on.
I have to say, I usually catch myself by the time I'm walking out of the door a couple of hours early, not always I suppose. I guess I'm somewhat of a morning person, but I never like to be in bed early either. I guess I'm a morning person and a night person, it's the stuff in between that sucks.
Posted by: synapticmisfires | May 12, 2007 at 09:48 PM
LOL. I laughed so hard about the Coriolis joke that I copied and pasted it to a friend, before i even read the following line about the sex prediction, which made me laugh harder (although the prediction is wrong ;). Scott, your blog always makes my day. I have never posted a comment or sent fan mail to anyone in my life, but you are absolutely hilarious. Thank you for all the laughs! :)
Posted by: Alex Marie | May 12, 2007 at 05:45 PM
I was thinking how missed up your biological clock must be to not be aware of the wrong alarm...
what does that say about YOUR sex life :P
Posted by: tas | May 12, 2007 at 01:03 PM
>>>I think it boils down to the fact that smarter people have better things to do than f***.
What the hell is the matter with you?
Better things to do than "f***"?? Have you never....? What better things are you doing? Saving the world with your compost heap? Discovering the exact tensile properties of beer foam? (New Scientist, last week)Dusting?
Holy inflated idea of your own importance.
Seriously. Find someone who know what they're doing, and take of the chastity belt.
Posted by: Katherine | May 12, 2007 at 10:15 AM
I thought this was supposed to be a clean joke site. Can you not be funny without bringing up sex or bodily functions?
Posted by: Reader | May 12, 2007 at 09:59 AM
Rather innacurrate, last night, but i only smiled rather then fully laughed so it may not count.
Personally I think most of the time smart people get as much sex as other people, they probably don't boast about it so much though.
Posted by: An Only Mouse | May 12, 2007 at 05:04 AM