Did you hear that the cremated ashes of the actor who played Scotty on Star Trek are lost? Apparently the rocket carrying them into space ended up in some forest.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18594384/?GT1=9951
I know you probably had the same first thought I did: Frickin’ Romulans!
The rocket carrying Scotty’s ashes had other people’s ashes too. I imagine Scotty’s ashes complaining to the other ashes on the way down “Captain, we cannot escape gravity in this bucket of bolts! Divert energy from life support – we don’t need it!”
I also wonder if the people in charge of this mission are admitting their mistakes or trying to cover their ashes. Okay, I don’t really wonder that. I just wanted to write “cover their ashes.” And this:
Q. What do you call a crater left by a rocket full of cremated remains?
A. An ash hole.
Suppose the wreckage of the rocket is found, but the various containers of ashes are broken and mixed up. Do you think the people running this operation will fess up, or will they just scoop equal amounts of ashes in new containers and call it good? Because if that happens, there’s a non-zero chance that Scotty will spend eternity in space with some stranger’s scrotum on his forehead.
I’m sure the whole “ashes in space” idea sounded glamorous when Scotty decided to spend his kids’ inheritance on it. Total bummer.
Personally I hate any idea that removes mass from the Earth.
I'm the kind that sees slippery slopes everywhere. If this trend picks up, in a few thousand years, the Earth will have significantly lightened. It's orbit will deteriorate and then, as we get farther from the sun, Global Colding.
Posted by: Jheurf | July 12, 2007 at 11:32 AM
They found, and recovered Scotty's Ashes:
http://209.34.241.11/cosmic_log/archive/2007/05/18/196359.aspx
Posted by: Stentor | May 18, 2007 at 02:46 PM
Incredible! See my blog post on this topic at:
http://angrylabrat.blogspot.com/2007/05/scottys-ashes-are-lost-on-earth.html
Posted by: AngryLabRat | May 14, 2007 at 10:06 AM
I like to pretend that the searchers will find Scotty's container intact, but empty of ashes. Meanwhile...
"...do you have the ashes, Spock?"
"Affirmative, Captain. I was able to establish a transporter lock just as the primitive rocket reached the apex of its flight."
"Bones?"
"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not an undertaker!"
"Just add the solution, Bones!"
"It's working Jim!"
"Where... where am I?"
"Welcome aboard, Chief Engineer..."
Posted by: Albatross | May 14, 2007 at 07:28 AM
Gosh, this sounds like a prime example of how DHL handles their packages.
Posted by: David | May 12, 2007 at 02:00 PM
hey i jsut read the artical first off it was only a small sample of ashes and they only payed about $500 for it so i t wasnt his childrens inheritance
Posted by: mr.capybara | May 12, 2007 at 01:03 PM
I have a bone to pick with you on this one. Scotty did not make an ash of himself, nor was he burned on the deal. It's true the company urns good money, but the profit potential remains to be seen. It's hard to believe this has sparked so much debate and turned into a hot topic. Surely it's time to let it rest in peace.
Posted by: Leora | May 12, 2007 at 12:26 PM
I am resonably certain Scotty's ashes were rejected as payback for the HORRID attempt at a Scottish accent. Fun to watch nonetheless.
Posted by: Lady Macleod | May 12, 2007 at 11:04 AM
My 2nd post (an after-thought which ocurred before my before-thought)
Actually, no one cleared the rocket-launch with the government first! I heard it was shot down by friendly fire! Yep, that's my story/belief and I am stickin' to it!
His family ought to sue the government!
....Patti
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Posted by: Patti | May 12, 2007 at 09:43 AM
Yeah, bummer.
New song out... there'll be "Ashes from Heaven".. for you and meeeee. Sorry, Scotty.
Actually, they launched his whole body and Global warming..caused the burning and ashes. Bush's fault I am sure!
.....Patti
_______________________________________________
Posted by: Patti | May 12, 2007 at 09:37 AM
The ashes where not suposed to stay in orbit. The rocket launched successfully and got back by parachutes as planned. They just couldn't find it's payload after it got back.... bummer ;-)
Posted by: Igor | May 12, 2007 at 06:10 AM
Are people posting twice because the placement of that dotted line between their post and their name bothers them?
Posted by: Dalebert | May 12, 2007 at 05:35 AM
He didn't spend "his kids' inheritance", he spent his own damned money. Inheritance is whatever's leftover, that he didn't spend.
Posted by: Wolfger | May 12, 2007 at 03:28 AM
Hey, when are we going to get some more thought experiments, the recent posts have been a bit vacant of brain buzzing material.
It's your blog, and it's free infotainment, so I really have no reason to complain. Your posts are always worthy of a read, but I do enjoy the posts that controvert and offend. Please,sir, may we have more of those type posts, that is if you can find time between your bible study and saving souls for the messiah man.
Posted by: niCk(MemBeth) | May 12, 2007 at 03:03 AM
Jeez, these bad puns are getting out of hand.
Posted by: DrV | May 12, 2007 at 01:36 AM
Jeez, these bad puns are getting out of hand.
Posted by: DrV | May 12, 2007 at 01:24 AM
When the search party sets up camp, they could sing "row, ro, row your boat" as a tribute :)
And I thought ashes from creamtion are the bones, and that's why it's a small amount - soft tissue is totally destroyed by the high temperature.
Posted by: Sabine Dinis Blochberger | May 12, 2007 at 01:19 AM
Jeez, these bad puns are getting out of hand.
Posted by: DrV | May 12, 2007 at 01:15 AM
The title made me said. And then I realized it wasn't talking about my favorite cartoonists, so I became happy again! But then it sunk in that it was another important Scott and then I became sad once again. I need a beer!
Posted by: James | May 12, 2007 at 01:06 AM
The obvious answer is that they dressed Scotty in one of those Red Shirt uniforms when they cremated him.
Every fan of Star Trek [and even folks who aren't fans] knows what happens to the fellows wearing the red uniforms in TOS.
They ALWAYS have something really, really, bad happen to them.
Posted by: ginobarracuda | May 12, 2007 at 12:33 AM
Well, Hammertyme, approving does not mean reading.
Posted by: David | May 12, 2007 at 12:22 AM
Good thing someone was willing to spend some money, with his (not a six pack, more like a kegger) body and looks, it's likely that this was the first time in years he had his ashes hauled.
Maybe it's worth trying to find the ashes before the "close cover before striking fly me to the moon" company does. Imagine what a Trekkie on eBay would pay for that bag of soot. If the bidding is good, it could more expensive to snort Snotty, oops, Scotty, than cocaine.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/
Posted by: jerry w | May 11, 2007 at 09:19 PM
I understood the ashes were to be jettisoned in low orbit, to burn up on re-entry. There is enough junk in space, I cannot think anyone would get permission to leave floating dead stuff out there.
And the cost to get the ashes and vehicle past earth's gravity attraction and into into the sun's pull would be a huge increase in power needed (acceleration), which would increase fuel needed at each stage of flight, and would be a huge increase on cost. Plus, you couldn't re-use the rocket.
Mr. Doohan enjoyed the attention his role as Scotty won him, but he would have also liked to have found work (his primary interest was as stage Shakespearean actor) during the 20 years between the TV series and the first Star Trek movie.
Depending on your beliefs, I suppose Doohan could have ridden the rocket with his ashes down into the bushes, in which case he might be a bit perturbed. Or, the life that was James Doohan, accomplished actor, sometime novelist, and beloved Star Trek crew member may have transcended what we know of life at the time of his passing, and neither knows nor cares about his ashes.
I like the Druid way, bury body or ashes at the foot of a sacred tree. If your God doesn't know you by the time they plant your body, getting the name and dates spelled right probably won't make a lot of difference later. Oops! I forgot -- the fundraisers at the *church* need to keep close records. My bad.
'Bye, Scotty.
Posted by: Brad K. | May 11, 2007 at 07:58 PM
Comments are moderated, and will not appear on this weblog until the author has approved them
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This isnt true.
How else are we getting double posts and spam advertising?
Posted by: Hammertyme | May 11, 2007 at 07:54 PM
Anything done with someone's ashes has infinitely more dignity than stuffing the whole body in one of those airtight drawers- in-a-wall and leaving them to liquify forever (or until some future time when they need the real estate for the living)..
..Except for one thing. Referring to cremated human remains as "cremains" is worse.
D. Mented
Posted by: D. Mented | May 11, 2007 at 06:32 PM