Irony Storm

In yesterday’s post I dared to say Paris Hilton entertains me, and I confessed I liked her because she works when she doesn’t need to, she has a sense of humor, and I’ve never heard of her being mean. This caused a Category 5 irony storm in the comments.

My favorite comments came from people who believe Paris Hilton’s television show on E!, The Simple Life, is a reality show about two stupid rich girls who do mean things. I hate to be a spoiler, but it’s a show produced by smart people, starring two rich girls who pretend to be mean and stupid. Their target audience is people who aren’t bright enough to know the show is staged.

And people wonder how I can be entertained by Paris Hilton. Good lord, the woman gives and she gives. This is performance art, and you’re part of the show, even if all you’re doing is strenuously denying its entertainment value and causing me to write this post that you are now reading.

My other favorite comments came from people who angrily point out how wrong it is to be entertained by something as trivial and unimportant as Paris Hilton’s life. This raises an interesting question: What the hell are you doing that’s so important? You’re not only reading The Dilbert Blog, but you’re leaving a frickin’ comment. How can you afford to take time out from your primary activity of performing free heart surgery on poor African babies?

My third favorite comments came from the people who say Paris is a racist. (This might come as a surprise to Lionel Richie.) Yes, I know she used the N-word on tape. I’ll bet she has also called people motherf*ckers without believing they actually have sex with their mothers. Sometimes you pick the most shocking word because it’s the most shocking word. I don’t know what’s in Paris’ heart, but I’m positive you don’t either.

I was also wondering how much economic value Paris has contributed to the world. If you put a price on the advertising budgets that support the media coverage she generates, plus her TV show, her movie roles, her magazine covers, I’ll bet the dollar value of her contribution to the world is in the billions. Those billions generate taxes that go to important social services such as feeding the poor and protecting our soldiers. And don’t get me started about the tens of millions of masturbators who appreciate her. You can’t put a price on that.

Clearly Paris has made some bad judgment calls. When cameras are rolling, you really ought to be more careful about what comes out of your mouth, and what goes into it. But I have to wonder how many of her critics could survive continuous video surveillance and be mistaken for Gandhi. I couldn’t. I don’t like your odds either.

In summary, if you enjoy opera more than you enjoy stories about Paris Hilton, you might believe you are superior. That’s the second clue there’s something seriously wrong with you.

Comments

[Sondra]

It's nice to know someone else sees past the surface.

[Sheetal]

Get ready to receive a deep, thought provoking sketch from Paris thanking you for your 'fair and unbiased' coverage of her case. :)

[Kilgore J. Trout]

You are a retard.

[JDParker7]

And don’t get me started about the tens of millions of masturbators who appreciate her. You can’t put a price on that.

Gold!!!!

[Speed]

@radiohe4d, what the f*ck are you doing that is so god damned special? Why makes you so important that you deserve to do "whatever you want" on your breaks? Why should Scott be grateful? If you leave, that's maybe $0.04 he doesn't make from the advertisements on the blog.

[MCslut]

Has anyone figured out why Paris is so famous in the first place? I mean she did that video a while back .. but what since then

[Dan Summerbell]

I don't watch reality TV, or any TV for that matter and although I was glad to see a drunk-driver being sent to jail, I felt the media storm made the punisment unfair.

Surely we're all sick to death of this story. Please move on. There are more important things in life.

Now if you will excuse me, I have some heart surgery to do...

[Himanshu]

BRAVO!!!

[vinod sreeraman]

"When cameras are rolling, you really ought to be more careful about what comes out of your mouth, and what goes into it"
u rock

[radiohe4d]

Who are you really trying to convince, Scott?

For the record, with the real work i put in, i deserve to do anything i like during my breaks, including leaving messages on your blog.

You should be a little more grateful...

[solak]

"But could we like an opera with Paris Hilton in it?
Posted by: osociego | June 27, 2007 at 08:41 AM"

Quite possibly. Lots of operas have been set in Paris.

[Daphne]

I could forgive Paris for a lot of things, just not her hypocrisy, narcissism, and especially her stupidity. Her stupidity most of all, because she never strives to improve herself. She never graduated high school! Paris Hilton, of all people, should be the one who gets a good education because god forbid if money should be the problem. The only problem is herself. I cannot ever respect her for that. And finally, she is a mean girl. She's mean like those girls in high school who would decide that they didn't like somebody and then separate their friends into two nationalities fighting a war in the cruelest, crudest ways.

In November 2004, she participated in Sean 'P. Diddy' Combs's Vote or Die campaign, to encourage youths to vote in the Presidential election. Later it was revealed that she did not vote, nor had she even registered to do so.

For her 21st birthday, she threw five parties for herself: in New York, Las Vegas, London, Hollywood and Tokyo.

She launched her third perfume, "Heiress", which coincides with her previous two, "Paris Hilton" and "Just Me".

[Newsweek interview, June 2005]: "I thought it was cute to play a dumb blonde. On TV, I do it because it's funny. I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand. I don't enjoy going out anymore. It's such a pain. It's everyone saying, 'Let's do a deal! Can I have a picture?' I'm just, like, 'These people are such losers. I can't believe I used to love doing this'."

"Nicole (Nicole Richie) and I are not enemies, but I can't be friends with someone who doesn't want good things for me."

"There's nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I'm that icon."

"One of my heroes is Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks great doing it."

And I think you should read up on her various catfights isolating Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie, Hilary Duff, or whatever other current female over-hyped legal teen star there is out there. She's probably already picked a fight with them, abused them, and had her friends at the time do the same.

Finally, you should check out why Brian Quintana has that restraining order against Paris Hilton.

[KiwiAtaahua]

People have to live an exemplary life before they can comment on others? When did that become law?

[synergy]

Why would Lionel be surprised? Has she slept with him too? Or maybe you mean because she's friends with Nicole? I'm not sure about her parents' races, but Lionel isn't her biological father.

[Fabio]

I frankly have no idea how Paris is in person. So I cannot say if I like her, I sure envy her, so do many others (200+ comments), she doesn't have to really "work" like we onlookers have. She doesn't have to make ends meet at the end of the month. She can afford almost any luxurious thing she wants. And who wouldn't want to have all this attention? There are some pretty angry comments in here. Jealousy for financial power coupled with laziness sometimes becomes hate. I mean it's not like she's using the money to buy puppies and drown them for fun or promoting drugs on billboards or financing genocide. Sure, she should slow a bit down with the alcohol, but I see how alcohol gets idolized in some tv shows and much too many "popular" people showing off drunk at every occasion.

She's a real reality show, always live, with little script.
Some people get entertained by this.

What I sure don't like are Paris-news obsessed teenagers who don't study and the problems of girls who get bulimic trying to look like her. But that's mainly the society's and their parents' fault/challenge. These problems are always around, only the "role-models" change.

[Matthew Kovich]

I do enjoy opera more than I enjoy Paris Hilton.

But I sure don't think I'm superior for it.

Anyway, that's just because I sing opera. It's my job.

I'm sure Paris Hilton enjoys stories about Paris Hilton more than opera, because Paris Hilton's job is stories about Paris Hilton. It's only logical. You could make a syllogism out of it.

right on

[jerry w.]

It seems that no one has mentioned that it's just another slow news month.

Last week, it was a pregnant woman killed by her "baby's daddy". If that had happened a few months earlier, it would have been a blip on the news screen in her home town at best and gone no further, but because she was knocked up it was world news as the police searched high and low for the killer. Who, as it seems was also a cop.

This week, it's Paris, Paris, Paris, etc......

Next week, will it be Ms. Spears or Lohan's turn to take a dump in a restaurant booth or puke on the sidewalk and stop the presses?

Or will Ann Coulter finally have a Lopitoffamy to complete her "trans" action?

Flash!!! This just in..... Brittany ate corn yesterday, we will show you vivid photographic proof at 11......

Otherwise, it's just the same old same old....

How many times will they have a breaking news interruption on Survivor because several more of our soldiers were killed in Bumfuckistan?

The answer is, they can't, not even by noting it in the crawl script under images of Paris getting out of jail, no one wants to hear about it.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Joshua]

"This raises an interesting question: What the hell are you doing that’s so important?"

My favorite quip of your since reading this blog Scott. Too many people think they are better than others. We don't, which of course makes us better than them.

[gr8hands]

Rohit, as I am "the idiot" I was going to explain myself to you, but you clearly didn't understand what Scott Adams wrote, and didn't understand what I wrote, so you probably wouldn't understand my explanation either.

But here goes: Re-read Scott's paragraph that starts "I was also wondering how much economic value Paris has contributed to the world." Scott says it is in the billions and generates tax revenue which pays for social programs and helping soldiers.

I was expressing my feeling that it was a silly statement, by pointing out that using his logic it would generate more tax revenue for social programs and helping soldiers if you were to spread disease everywhere rather than cure disease.

I was pointing out that every time bin laden does anything, tremendous amounts of money gets spent on "security" -- which generates even more tax revenue for social programs and helping soldiers.

The flaw is in thinking that this kind of tax revenue funded assistance is a good and desirable thing.

Does that explain it? Rick, I hope you're also reading this, because you appeared confused as well.

[gr8hands]

Sorry, Rick, but you couldn't be more wrong.

You wrote: "My comment: 1st paragraph: You're right..well, if you ignore critical facts like your examples include causing death."

Wrong. I didn't mention "causing death." I was specific in merely stating "spreading disease," the economic value being tremendous -- the greater the number of people afflicted, the greater the impact value. And if you're focusing on the bin laden comment, his direct actions (others acting on his orders did the killing) have thus far only been some videos that have generated a lot of costly military/security activity. paris has been lucky that no one has been killed while she has been driving drunk.

You wrote: "2nd paragraph: Spoken like a true critic who fails to see their own incredible shortcomings. Can you point me to the website you ordered your horse-blinders from, I have heard that ignorance is bliss and wish to join the bandwagon."

Wrong. Please do a simple count of those postings that agree with Scott Adams, and those that don't. You'll see that a majority agree with what I've written. Even if that weren't true, you would be in error that it would be an "incredible shortcoming."

You wrote: "3rd paragraph: Everyone is involved with Everything you have just mentioned. It's called Taxation. I'm glad to hear you think you're superior to people you know VERY LITTLE about, that's the first sign of true ignorance. It's like the drunk who picks fights with random strangers - who for all you know, could be a UFC champion. (For your clarity, you're the drunk)"

Wrong. I was clear that I don't think I'm superior (unless you are unable to read what I wrote). Just that my direct work as a professional fundraiser for charities is more important than paris hilton's drunk driving and other questionable actions. I would guess that the recipients of the Red Cross assistance (one of my clients) are more grateful for the money I raise for them than they are knowing Scott Adams is drawing a funny cartoon or paris hilton is drinking and driving again. Maybe not.

Also, I wasn't talking about taxation, but real work, earning and raising real dollars that go to help real people (not merely into the government's coffers). I suppose that escaped your attention. Sloppy of you. But it might indicate you have a tendency to inflate your own actions -- which is not something I do.

You're also making a presumption about me, someone "you know VERY LITTLE about" -- unless you're claiming to somehow KNOW what I know about anyone.

You're also wrong about what the first sign of true ignorance is -- it's being wrong.

So, Rick, since you were completely wrong in everything you wrote about my post, I suggest that whenever you feel the urge to attempt to correct someone, it is best to wait in the corner until the feeling leaves you, because you are miserable at it. It just makes you look silly.

[KOW]

I'm not as willing as you to give her a free pass on her racist comments, sorry. But I must admit that this comment:

Clearly Paris has made some bad judgment calls. When cameras are rolling, you really ought to be more careful about what comes out of your mouth, and what goes into it.

...has all but made my day.

[Do Gbert]

You work even though you don't have to. Should we like you?

[Johnny Ouais]

I don't understand why Paris Hilton is entertaining so many people that way.
From my point of view, I'd prefer much Queen Latifah doing the same thing.

Paris is too skinny.

I had to say that I also miss the good old days of Anna Nicole Smith. I hope God enjoys her presence as much as we did when she was with us.

[Harry J. Chong]

I agree! Well said Dogbert!

[Sigmund]

"But I have to wonder how many of [Paris Hilton's] critics could survive continuous video surveillance and be mistaken for Gandhi."

Well, this may help you make a good estimate:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/040813.html