In yesterday’s post I dared to say Paris Hilton entertains me, and I confessed I liked her because she works when she doesn’t need to, she has a sense of humor, and I’ve never heard of her being mean. This caused a Category 5 irony storm in the comments.
My favorite comments came from people who believe Paris Hilton’s television show on E!, The Simple Life, is a reality show about two stupid rich girls who do mean things. I hate to be a spoiler, but it’s a show produced by smart people, starring two rich girls who pretend to be mean and stupid. Their target audience is people who aren’t bright enough to know the show is staged.
And people wonder how I can be entertained by Paris Hilton. Good lord, the woman gives and she gives. This is performance art, and you’re part of the show, even if all you’re doing is strenuously denying its entertainment value and causing me to write this post that you are now reading.
My other favorite comments came from people who angrily point out how wrong it is to be entertained by something as trivial and unimportant as Paris Hilton’s life. This raises an interesting question: What the hell are you doing that’s so important? You’re not only reading The Dilbert Blog, but you’re leaving a frickin’ comment. How can you afford to take time out from your primary activity of performing free heart surgery on poor African babies?
My third favorite comments came from the people who say Paris is a racist. (This might come as a surprise to Lionel Richie.) Yes, I know she used the N-word on tape. I’ll bet she has also called people motherf*ckers without believing they actually have sex with their mothers. Sometimes you pick the most shocking word because it’s the most shocking word. I don’t know what’s in Paris’ heart, but I’m positive you don’t either.
I was also wondering how much economic value Paris has contributed to the world. If you put a price on the advertising budgets that support the media coverage she generates, plus her TV show, her movie roles, her magazine covers, I’ll bet the dollar value of her contribution to the world is in the billions. Those billions generate taxes that go to important social services such as feeding the poor and protecting our soldiers. And don’t get me started about the tens of millions of masturbators who appreciate her. You can’t put a price on that.
Clearly Paris has made some bad judgment calls. When cameras are rolling, you really ought to be more careful about what comes out of your mouth, and what goes into it. But I have to wonder how many of her critics could survive continuous video surveillance and be mistaken for Gandhi. I couldn’t. I don’t like your odds either.
In summary, if you enjoy opera more than you enjoy stories about Paris Hilton, you might believe you are superior. That’s the second clue there’s something seriously wrong with you.
I think Paris was really gorgeous when she left prison. That proves that 20 days without getting drunk and sleeping late are good for women's beauty. On the other hand, Scott is right in the politeness of Paris: She has been harrased, insulted, offended, target of bad taste jokes told at her expense in full theaters by second class comics, and she has confronted all that with a smile. She can be dumb or not, but I think there are a lot of people out there who deserves more being the target of insults (Castro, Iranian mullahs,Hamas, Bush,Chavez, Cheney, Sudanese government, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc)
Posted by: Ivan | June 28, 2007 at 04:23 AM
Scott:
"And don’t get me started about the tens of millions of masturbators who appreciate her. You can’t put a price on that."
If you can put an economic value/cost-benefit analysis to her contribution to world poverty eradication and helping the needy by being what she is, I am sure you can come up with the numbers if you try hard. Oh, and don't forget you are an Economics graduate.
Posted by: Nitin | June 28, 2007 at 04:17 AM
Anyone can rip someone apart. Bravo, Scott, for having the guts to say something nice about someone, and then defend it.
Posted by: wernman | June 28, 2007 at 03:58 AM
Is this post somehow related to your need to appear consistent, considering the previous one.
Posted by: Trish | June 28, 2007 at 03:50 AM
I never watched her show, I only saw her entertainement value when a friend pointed her out as a (bad) actress in a crappy movie. However I do know the entertainement value of comments on miss Hiltons actions and they are great. It is interesting how a person of no importance ( I never met her and probably never will, neither do the commenters and what she does has no real effect on our lives ) can raise such reactions from us.
I do not enjoy opera, I probably would not enjoy her shows, but I like the comments about it, so that would probably place me lower than the rest. Although since reading that she rarely wears undergarments, I will try to step up the ladder and start watching her.
Keep up the good work commenters end you too Scott,
Jan
Posted by: Jan | June 28, 2007 at 03:21 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where he gets his amazing conclusions from? How does destroying a building with hundreds of revenue generating people help the poor? Sure bin laden is helping poor muslims abroad by giving them money and a reason to live. Where it gets irritating is that the reason to live is to kill other people by blowing themselves up. Tough nut, you'll agree.
On Paris, I'd like to ask why people care so much. The woman is rich and does whatever she wants because she can get away with it. Smile and move on. At least she makes good videos. Also, Scott, I don't see her working as anything great. Having money is wonderful, but not working at/for/with something will drive anyone nuts.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:14 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where he gets his amazing conclusions from? How does destroying a building with hundreds of revenue generating people help the poor? Sure bin laden is helping poor muslims abroad by giving them money and a reason to live. Where it gets irritating is that the reason to live is to kill other people by blowing themselves up. Tough nut, you'll agree.
On Paris, I'd like to ask why people care so much. The woman is rich and does whatever she wants because she can get away with it. Smile and move on. At least she makes good videos. Also, Scott, I don't see her working as anything great. Having money is wonderful, but not working at/for/with something will drive anyone nuts.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:13 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where he gets his amazing conclusions from? How does destroying a building with hundreds of revenue generating people help the poor? Sure bin laden is helping poor muslims abroad by giving them money and a reason to live. Where it gets irritating is that the reason to live is to kill other people by blowing themselves up. Tough nut, you'll agree.
On Paris, I'd like to ask why people care so much. The woman is rich and does whatever she wants because she can get away with it. Smile and move on. At least she makes good videos. Also, Scott, I don't see her working as anything great. Having money is wonderful, but not working at/for/with something will drive anyone nuts.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:12 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where he gets his amazing conclusions from? How does destroying a building with hundreds of revenue generating people help the poor? Sure bin laden is helping poor muslims abroad by giving them money and a reason to live. Where it gets irritating is that the reason to live is to kill other people by blowing themselves up. Tough nut, you'll agree.
On Paris, I'd like to ask why people care so much. The woman is rich and does whatever she wants because she can get away with it. Smile and move on. At least she makes good videos. Also, Scott, I don't see her working as anything great. Having money is wonderful, but not working at/for/with something will drive anyone nuts.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:12 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where he gets his amazing conclusions from? How does destroying a building with hundreds of revenue generating people help the poor? Sure bin laden is helping poor muslims abroad by giving them money and a reason to live. Where it gets irritating is that the reason to live is to kill other people by blowing themselves up. Tough nut, you'll agree.
On Paris, I'd like to ask why people care so much. The woman is rich and does whatever she wants because she can get away with it. Smile and move on. At least she makes good videos. Also, Scott, I don't see her working as anything great. Having money is wonderful, but not working at/for/with something will drive anyone nuts.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:12 AM
I'd like to ask the idiot who said "Following your same logic, spreading disease would provide better "dollar value of the contribution" than curing disease. And we should all be thanking bin laden for all the poor he's fed and soldiers he's saved because of the tax revenue generated due to his actions."
where does he get these amazing statistics? It's called Broken Window fallacy if I'm not wrong. Even if I'm wrong, doesn't mean he's right. Destroying a building and revenue-generating people is not feeding the poor. I don't understand how the hell that conclusion is reached. I would say though the getting poor muslims together and giving them money and a reason to live is kind of applaudable, if he wasn't busy getting them blown up.
On Paris though, I don't give a shit. Which is something that more people should say where she is concerned. She's rich, spoilt (perhaps) and does what she likes because she gets away with it. Smile and move on. After all, she does make good videos.
Posted by: Rohit | June 28, 2007 at 03:08 AM
Paris is the woman we love to hate. People wish they were her, they envy her. They want to see her fail. That’s why every time she goofs she appears everywhere like a bad rash.
The people determine what makes the news. If people weren’t so fascinated / jealous / whatever with celebs it wouldn’t be such a booming business. We (the masses) are the driving force of gossip magazines, tabloids, etc. Paris sells. They make money. They sell Paris. It’s a working formula. The more we feed something the bigger it gets
I don’t agree with what she represents. But I cant help reading about her. We will never know what she is really like as a person, but she is most definitely a brand. She is “marketing” that brand, and it is selling like hot cakes. She’s not doing it by herself though, I’m sure she has smart people who are in the business of marketing people, helping her out and giving her tips.
You don’t just get famous by being pretty, rich and dumb, its no accident or pot luck. It’s a marketing ploy, and im sure we get the wool pulled over our eyes more often than we think.
Does life imitate art or does art imitate life? Is she SETTING the example (she IS a role model whether she wants to be or not)? Paris has set the bar of what is “OK” for young women to do, and we curse and swear when men treat us like a piece of meat, or 14 year old girls are having babies or abortions.
Posted by: Claire | June 28, 2007 at 02:37 AM
Paris is the woman we love to hate. People wish they were her, they envy her. They want to see her fail. That’s why every time she goofs she appears everywhere like a bad rash.
The people determine what makes the news. If people weren’t so fascinated / jealous / whatever with celebs it wouldn’t be such a booming business. We (the masses) are the driving force of gossip magazines, tabloids, etc. Paris sells. They make money. They sell Paris. It’s a working formula. The more we feed something the bigger it gets
I don’t agree with what she represents. But I cant help reading about her. We will never know what she is really like as a person, but she is most definitely a brand. She is “marketing” that brand, and it is selling like hot cakes. She’s not doing it by herself though, I’m sure she has smart people who are in the business of marketing people, helping her out and giving her tips.
You don’t just get famous by being pretty, rich and dumb, its no accident or pot luck. It’s a marketing ploy, and im sure we get the wool pulled over our eyes more often than we think.
Does life imitate art or does art imitate life? Is she SETTING the example (she IS a role model whether she wants to be or not)? Paris has set the bar of what is “OK” for young women to do, and we curse and swear when men treat us like a piece of meat, or 14 year old girls are having babies or abortions.
Posted by: Claire | June 28, 2007 at 02:36 AM
You've convinced me. I used to think Paris was awful (almost exclusively through ignorance and that my only knowledge of her was from the cover of very pink magazines while waiting in a queue in a shop).
How often does one get to succeed in life with one's tongue so firmly placed in one's cheek?
...She's my new role model
Posted by: Geoff | June 28, 2007 at 02:00 AM
"the dollar value of her contribution to the world is in the billions"
ah ok.
I guess tomorrow you'll tell us she invented a vaccine for a lethal disease or rescued babies from a burning building.
Posted by: pierre | June 28, 2007 at 01:59 AM
Anagrams of "Irony Storm"
Try Sin Room
In My Rotors
Minor Story
Posted by: Xena | June 28, 2007 at 01:11 AM
Does anyone get that Scott meant opera (where people sing inaudible worded songs for a very long time) not Operah (Highly succesful talk show host)...
I see what you mean by people not being "bright enough"
Posted by: The Hammer | June 28, 2007 at 12:59 AM
Did anyone ever tell you that honesty is a somewhat overrated virtue? Of course you are (overall) absolutely right, but you are shattering our hard-worked-for illusion about ourselves. Now that I think about it, these self-delusions are probably a form of vital entertainment as well. Of course I myself am no racist, have a refined sense of humor, value quality entertainment over smut, and lead a life of great seriousness and importance. Clinging to that self image allows me to do all the things I couldn't if I were absolutely honest to myself about myself. And then you come along and tear the veil from our eyes. Shame on you. This can only lead to depression, repression (or wanton hedonism, once I recognize that there is no use in trying to manage my baser vices anyway), apathy, loss of job, divorce, and general economic depression all around...
Posted by: Martin Stennert | June 28, 2007 at 12:29 AM
I'll just say I agree with Hrishi.
Posted by: Lag | June 28, 2007 at 12:21 AM
Suppose someone made a blockbuster movie which glorified killing high school teachers. Suppose further that it could be conclusively demonstrated that this movie directly influenced dozens of high school shooting sprees. Both of these are fairly large suppositions, but this is just to make a point. By your reasoning (if I may stretch it somewhat), all the movie tickets, dvd revenues, promotionals, news stories covering it, etc. are economic benefits and this movie is to be lauded.
All I'm saying is that publicizing someone like Paris has some hidden costs associated with it to match the many benefits you discussed. I have no clue which is greater, the costs or the benefits.
Posted by: Jeff | June 28, 2007 at 12:12 AM
Love the fact you have the balls to argue something that insults a big bulk of your readers.
No, seriously. I love it. I wouldn't be able to do it myself.
Posted by: Cherrie | June 27, 2007 at 11:00 PM
Hey, I'm working on discovering a new drug while I read your blog. That's right, drug discovery is that boring and I have nothing better to do while I wait for an experiment.
In any case... yes, I do have something more important to do... I just don't like to do it.
Posted by: Shan | June 27, 2007 at 10:20 PM
paris hilton is smart! No doubt about it. Just look at this..she has made somebody like scott justify her actions
Posted by: vik | June 27, 2007 at 09:59 PM
I cheer for the news presenter on MSNBC who refused to read the Paris story, tried to set fire to it and finally shredded it and got on with telling the real news.
So I'm not going to comment on this topic either.
What I will do is try and contribute positively in another way.
Scott, I really like the blogs when you bring up a topic and then the next blog you pay out everyone's comments. It means I don't miss out on the gist of what everyone said and it's much more amusing to see you go to town on dumb dilbert blog readers, than hear you waffle on about a big flying fish, or eternal senior citizens. yawn
Actually the only reader comments I ever read are the ones you add your own message to. That's what it's all about.
Posted by: Roni | June 27, 2007 at 09:54 PM
I guess you are still in the baiting mode. This post makes no sense otherwise.
Posted by: mbutu | June 27, 2007 at 09:48 PM