Minutia

One of the questions I get most often is "What is your day like?" There is no good answer to that question because it's always so different. Today I will log my work day, almost as it happens:

5:00 am, PST

Wake to BlackBerry alarm

Eat a banana

Check e-mail on BlackBerry. Schedule a conference call.

Walk to office, 47 seconds down the street, still wearing shorts I slept in

Take garbage cans out to street for pickup

Get Diet Coke from fridge. Take first swig.

Pet office cat Sarah

Approve blog comments

5:20 AM

Check Internet for headlines, just to see if any planes flew into any buildings last night

Begin this blog (normally takes 90 minutes to complete)

Cat is yelling at me for more attention. This will continue off and on all day

Open Photoshop. Call up blank comic strip form. Give it a date of 8/17, when it will run.

Open the comic already drawn for 8/16 to see if today I will draw a continuation of that thread or start a new one. I decide to start a new one.

Open Word file where I keep ideas sent to me via e-mail. Look for something interesting.

Notice a sticky note on my desk to check a web site for a potential business deal. I check it. I send an e-mail to United Media with my comments.

5:30 AM

Back to looking at the submitted ideas. Time to make a comic.

5:45 AM

I decide on an idea. It involves the conflicting goals of reducing overtime and also doing more work. This will involve Carol the secretary (the only hourly employee in the strip) and the pointy-haired boss. I start to draw them. I'll figure out what they say later.

[I draw directly to the computer using a Wacom 21SX computer screen that allows me to draw on it as if it were paper, using a stylus.]

5:52 AM

First panel drawn. Boss and Carol are in conference room. I need to write the boss's line. He will set the scene.

Too hungry to think. Grab a protein bar and another Diet Coke.

Approve blog comments while eating protein bar (Clif Builder's, 20g protein). I have to approve the first comments quickly so I don't get a thousand comments saying "first comment!"

Back to working on the comic.

Cat is literally screaming at me for attention and sitting on some Japanese tax forms I have on the floor to remind me to mail them. I decide to drug her with catnip.

It's working. Hmm, cat on drugs. Maybe my comic can use that today. The boss might hire a beaver on speed to help Carol get more work done in fewer hours.

Can't say "speed" in the comic. I use Google to find out what's in Sudafed. That stuff gets me cranking. It's pseudoephedrine, I learn. Can I say that in a comic?

6:10 AM

I decide to go with "beaver on decongestants."

6:18 AM

I draw the second panel, including the nervous-looking beaver. I love the beaver. I hate the word "decongestants." Readers won't make the connection to speed quickly enough. Caffeine is too obvious. Red Bull is a product, so I avoid those. Energy drink is too generic sounding.

6:22 AM

I check blog comments to see if people think this idea sucks. I approve some more comments. It helps to take my mind off the comic dialog every few minutes so when I look at it again I see it fresh. Back to the comic...

6:25 AM

I draw a coffee cup in the nervous beaver's paw. I write "coffee swilling beaver." I Google "swilling" to see if a better word comes up. I get "guzzling." Not sure that's an improvement. I'll draw the third panel and get back to it...

6:45 AM

Distracted by incoming e-mail about my restaurant business. I answer it. Back to the comic.

I rewrite the first panel so now it's about the boss noticing he is giving Carol way too much work. So he hires a coffee swilling beaver to show her how to work faster.

6:50 AM

The third panel is drawn. Carol is in her low-walled cube, the beaver behind her. One of them needs to say something. Thinking....

Using my 2-of-6 rule for humor,  I already have three elements. It's recognizable (being overworked and not supported by your boss) and it's bizarre (a coffee swilling beaver). And the beaver is cute. Something naughty or cruel or clever would round it out nicely.

Maybe the beaver says, "You can save a lot of time by not wearing pants." No...

7:00 AM

I decide to go with this for my third panel (I can't show you the whole comic because newspaper clients have a contractual first right)

It's a first draft. Some time in the future I will clean up the art and finish it. I do my rough work in the morning when my brain works best.

7:10 AM

Time to start my second comic.

First I check my blog hit count and stats to see if anyone is reading this entry. 12,000 hits so far today. And the stats tell me that a lot of hits are coming from reddit.com. That means someone submitted it to their list of interesting web sites to check. That drives a lot of traffic.

Back to the comic. Do I do another day with the beaver or go another direction? Thinking....

Approved some more blog comments. Noticed a few people saying today's Dilbert is extra funny. Checked dilbert.com to see which one that was. I'm always surprised at which ones capture people's amusement.

Enough stalling. Beaver or no beaver? Back to the comic...thinking...

Bathroom break

Beaver dialog forms in my head on way back to desk. Not sure where it came from.

7:30 AM

Interrupted by incoming e-mail from United Media confirming conference call for 10:30 AM to talk about the Dilbert movie negotiations.

Back to the comic...

I label the first panel "Coffee Swilling Beaver" to show it's a continuation strip.

I draw Dilbert at his desk. It doesn't matter who the beaver will be talking to, and people like to see Dilbert more often than the other characters.

First line from beaver, "If a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it..."

7:40 AM

Second panel, beaver says, "I'd still chew the bejeezus out of it because I have no impulse control." The word "bejeezus" is funny, but will give the foreign translators an ulcer. I try not to do that too often.

I approve some blog comments while thinking what angle to draw the beaver and Dilbert in the second frame.

8:15 AM

I finished the third panel. Here it is in rough form.

Some people will complain that it's not "officey" enough and too random with a talking beaver. Sometimes it's good to break from the usual, as long as I don't do it for too many strips in a row.

8:20 AM

Reviewed a license proposal that arrived by fax, for a Dilbert themed Soduko book. I approve it without knowing the details. United Media already vetted it and we do a lot of work with this publisher. If they think someone will buy it, that's fine with me.

Faxed back my approval.

E-mail my restaurant partner to schedule a meeting for later today.

Get another Diet Coke

Take 1000 mg of magnesium supplement. (I read on some unreliable web site that people don't get enough. The day I took my first magnesium supplements it solved 10 years of continuous sore knee problems. Might be a coincidence, but magnesium is suggested to reduce swelling.  Don't take as much as I do. That's way over the recommended dose. Don't get medical advice from cartoonists.)

Answered e-mail from my real estate broker regarding some property I'm trying to sell.

Approved more blog comment. Noticed lots of people asking about the movie. Here's the scoop...

We agreed on a movie deal with Warner Brothers over a year ago. Since then we have been trying to penetrate the bureaucracy at the studio to finalize the contract details. In an ironic Dilbert twist, the lawyers at Warner who are authorized to speak with us are apparently not willing or able to speak with anyone in their own company who can make the kind of decisions needed to finalize the contract. Our current projected timeline for penetrating their bureaucracy is infinity. I don't expect the deal to be completed.

9:15 AM

Answered an e-mail about my book, God's Debris, and some interest in a movie deal for it. Movie deals are always long shots, but worth looking into.

Answered e-mail about designing a new Dilbert logo. We need a catch phrase. I suggested one.

Pet cat

Took Longvinex capsule, a wine extract that will make me nearly immortal if it works. Google it. I know it's unproven. But the expected value calculation makes it attractive if you can afford it. Is it a 1% chance of living for another 50 years and feeling great the whole time? Who knows? Worth a shot.

Took a work break

10:00 AM

Working on writing jokes for my restaurant menu. Each item includes a witticism about the dish. We're adding some items.

Interrupted by more e-mail about God's Debris and movie or mini series options

10:30 AM

Phone call with president of United Media about Dilbert movie contract situation.

Still writing jokes for the menu. Can't think of anything for rib eye steak.

Nailed the rib eye joke. Sent off the menu.

Heading back to the house for a shower. Then lunch.

Then meeting at the restaurant.

Tennis at 2 pm if it gets confirmed. My opponent is eleven. I figure I have one more year before he kicks my ass. (His dad is a pro.)

Signing off until later...

3:30 PM

Home from tennis. Had a snack and another Diet Coke.

Shower

Waiting to go next door for a barbecue

5:15 PM

I'll end here, telling you in advance I'll be having a good time with fun neighbors and friends and getting to bed around 11 PM.

Thanks for reading this far.

The End

Comments

[Just Like That]

There's this company whose product was much better than pepsi but when pepsi and coke realised it, they even offered to buy it out for double the cost of setup, research etc... but the CEO said wait for five years and we will buy you out. On the first day of that company's product launch they bought the full lot and broke all the 2,000,000 bottles and gave a three year contract to all the bottle manufacturers by sending out ghost buyers no bottles were returned and the company had to close down after three weeks. Which is this company and where was it opened does anybody know ?

[ma282zda]

c230t

[sex positions]

Three phrases should be among the most common in our daily usage. They are: Thank you, I am grateful and I appreciate.

[jaguar]

Agree with a flat tax system

[orlando and boat trailer for sale]

Uno spazio per dire la vostra sull'operato del governo e dell'opposizione.

[videos gratis]

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[Jim]

This is your definition of "Nailed the rib-eye joke" ?

From your website:

(Rib Eye…stacked potatoes…this is the only dish that can get in trouble for staring at itself.)

I think your restaurant is in a LOT worse trouble that we thought.

[sybil miller]

you are so great, lose the coke! thins your bones. you'll be immortal, but all your bones will be swiss cheese.

thank you for sharing your day. my dog and cat both say, "well HE doesn't use his cat as an excuse for why he can't get his work done, why do YOU?"

dang.

[Tony]

"I approve it without knowing the details."

So much for control of your art...

[Liz L.]

Love your blog, which always makes laugh or think, or both. I am concerned about your Diet Coke consumption. You're a smart guy who Googles a lot and is concerned about his health. So Google a bit about the health issues of carbonated drinks in general and artificially sweetened ones in particular. Cheers.

[Aishu]

I always wondered how a normal day would look like - for those like you ( writers/columnists/cartoonists..)
That was an intersting read....Thnx!

(BTW, ther's no mention of your wife/kids anywhere in the day.Are they away or are you?)

Hmm...I did love to know how a normal day goes by for a Music Director.Will have to wait until , umm.. some Daniel Barenboim comes up with a blog entry like yours. :-)

[schelf]

You just gotta love jittery beaver

[Yuriy]

[Not nearly enough people know that NutraSweet, the sweetener in Diet Coke, is the best ant poison known to man, causes cancer even in low doses, and was on the Chemical Weapons list and banned for food use until a certain politico pulled some strings to get it approved for human combustion. I mean, consumption. Google it if you don't believe me, or check the database on Rense.com.]

So the question is, will the unproven life lengthening effects of LongEvinex's resveratrol cancel out the unproven life shortening effects of Diet Coke's aspartame?

[Andrey]

To bed at 11pm, waking up at 5am = 6 hours of sleep? And functional throughout the day? I envy you :-P

[pete]

So what's your 2+2 name?

[Chris]

dood you never brushed your teeth!!

[Brian]

So I'm not the only person that does this

"5:20 AM

Check Internet for headlines, just to see if any planes flew into any buildings last night"

I do it close to the same time too... roughly 5am.

[forsoothsayer]

for a comic writer, you are inhumanly boring. that was a war crime.

[Munro]

That was really interesting and inspiring and says more than you might think. It really satisfies the curiosity.

Thankyou Scott

[Alex]

Note to self - if living with cats DON'T work at home

[ML]

I haven't read the rest of the comments, so don't know if anyone else gives you a hard time for this -- it weirds me out that you're concerned enough about your health and yet consume about (I might have missed one!) three Diet Cokes in one day! Aspertame is no good for you, Scott! Have one Coke with real sugar instead, or switch to something that is actually good for you, like green tea. I guarantee you'll feel better, and it's a surer thing than your wine extract.

[Mark Bowness]

This was really interesting to read! Thanks for that!

Mark Bowness

[Madmarleyboro29]

Hmmm.

Coffee-chugging? (the beaver)

Only idea I could come up with.

Unless Coffee itself, is somehow trademarked by the Colombians.

Maybe the cat craving attention, might have better input.

Maybe not. Too much reliance on a cat, would end up producing a Garfield influence for all of their howling.

Cats are nice, but are not the Center of The Universe. If they were, the can-openers would be designed with them in mind.

[HCG]

Hi Scott,

I could be wrong, but I have a vague memory from college about magnesium being a critical component in the nerve impulse process and muscle contraction/relaxation process. A year or so ago I heard an advertising claim that magnesium deficiency could cause muscle spasms, pain and inflammation by blocking either the "relax" nerve signal or the muscle "relax" process. My last O-Chem or Bio class was well over a decade ago, so who knows if my memory is off. Don't take medical advice from an engineer.

[Walter E. Wallis]

Please, stay away from Mentos. Or use them in a strip. Carol substitutes Mentos for vitamin pills and serves pointy haired boss a diet coke to wash them down?