May 2008

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Mark Thorson

I've found that the best way
to pet a cat is to simply
hold your fingers at a fixed
point in space and sort of
rub them together, and let
the cat push her head against
your fingertips. That way,
she gets to decide what part
of her head needs to be worked
on. Cats seem to appreciate
that better than passively
accepting what areas humans
decide to scratch. I didn't
realize this until petting a
cat that would turn her head
if I wasn't scratching exactly
the place she wanted. I guess
you could say a cat taught me
this trick.


What I think when petting a dog is, "I hope this will impress my girlfriend". It means I'm an insecure weenie whose vanity makes me view relationships as status symbols.


I had a cat named Okie ("oh kee") and sometimes when he was on the kitchen table napping or whatever, I'd pet him until he really started to purr and enjoy my rubbing his body.. and then he'd arch his back and fall off the table/couch/bed. I found this hilarious! :-D


Huh, I always thought it was just to suck up to the cat.


When I pet my cats, to the extent I think about it at all, I think about how easy it is to make a cat happy. There's also the pleasure of hanging out with a critter that just accepts me in an uncomplicated, non-judgmental, way. Of course, I know that a big part of the relationship, from the cat's point of view, involves getting fed regularly, but there's nothing wrong with that.


My goal is a full-service massage.

Boraxis Baugmonster

Posted by Boraxis Baugmonster:

Why do you have to knock douche bags? They perform an important function and don't deserve your ridicule. Although after I said that I accidentally pictured you functioning as a douche bag and it did gross me out, but still...



This is one of the funniest blog postings I've ever read. To coin a phrase: IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!


Hi Scott,

You featured a bald CEO in the Sunday strip. What's up with that? Aren't they supposed to be tall and have good hair? :D



It’s important to have goals when you pet. Otherwise you’re just rubbing another mammal for no reason.
That's something I kept telling myself on every date I had during high school.


when i pet my poodle, i think about what it would be like to breed her with a labrador. is that bad?


when i pet my poodle, i think about what it would be like to breed her with a labrador. is that bad?

LA Clay

Pet first, get laid later. Wait what are YOU talking about?

Jason Dumler

I usually wonder what it's like for the animal, and then why they seem to like it so much. Is it the physical sensation, or is it the social aspects of the contact? There's usually a point past which they bug me and I make them either go away or lay down (which is harder with cats, but you can do it). What does that mean?

What does it mean if you float your hand barely above the animals fur, so they think you're going to pet them, but you don't?

Eugene Cox

What about heavy-petting?


H' is it worth my time to go rub my various mammals today? (4 cats, 1 dog...I'm not rubbing the gecko!)


hurray i'm a sociopath!


Since when did we need a reason to rub another mammal??

D Bunny

When I pet my St. Bernard Moose, all I'm usually thinking about his how much I love that dumb dog. :) So I guess my goal is to convey to this mammal that I do love him, even though he never chips in on the rent and is useless when it comes to housework.


Sounds like you've been stroking yourself too much :)

Agnostic Anarch

All the while, your cat is laying there pondering how glad he is that he owns a well-trained meat robot that will stroke him at command! And you thought you had a choice in the matter!! *silly grin*

"...just rubbing another mammal for no reason." As if anyone ever needed a reason to rub their mammals.


Andrew Beaumont

When I used to pet my cat (now sadly passed on), it was to see how load I could make her purr. You knew you'd hit the spot when the purring was louder than the fridge.

If the claws come out you've gone too far.

Your mileage may vary.

Andy B.


hardly accurate


When I pet my cats I do so in a way that maximizes their pleasure, but also appreciate how nice their fur feels on my hands and feet(since they are usually rubbing around them at the same time). So does that make me a generous, giving, douche bag? ;-)


OK, I hope this doesn't sound too weird, but actually, I am often thinking about the _smell_ of the pet. My dogs put off a "happy smell" when they're pleased, a kind of salty-sweet smell, kinda like the smell of corn chips. I find it to be a pleasant smell. Talk about symbiosis . . .

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