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totally unrelated but good

By Linda Carroll
MSNBC contributor
Updated: 6:08 p.m. ET June 1, 2007
It sounds like some perverse form of multitasking: sex while sleeping.


not you
you make people laugh, it prolongs their lives
it possibly could be calculated how much extra lifetime you already contributed to humanity
not sure whether you should be thanked or taxed more for that
immortality vs reincarnation is my favourite topic to think about at leisure
when i was young i often thought after 35 it's not worth living, now when i passed that line, seems there is not much innate difference in living, the limit is now extended to f.e 50
which is somehow doubtful now after f.e seeing your photos, look at you - you are flourishing, blooming something or how it is called in english,
so probably 50 is still good to live and 76 may be really the best to reincarnate, willingly
f.e into a beautiful butterfly
just one day, and her life cycle is over, you may live other living creature's life
sounds so fun
just that turtle life is not very alluring, 300 yrs just crawling and crawling, occasionally swimming and laying eggs, so much boringly like human immortality

good night

Good Point

"Now I go places by taking huge hops."

Strange, I have this re-occuring dream where I travel (mostly to work) by holding onto the bumpers of cars and jumping really high.

John Elliot

Entropy will do away with you pesky immortals sooner or later, if the sun doesn't do it first. Let's see your precious democracy override the universe's veto to your social security payments, Scott "The Eternal" Adams.

Ron Hardin

It doesn't look good so long as immortality is a negation.

John C


Your Desk Calender Comic Today was Hysterical (Wally takes a Sexual Harrassment online class). Classic Wally!

Thanks for the laughs.

Paul O

Sadly, "it" seems to make people hallucinate, and makes them think they'll live longer than if they simply took care of themselves.

Sam D

So, wino's live longer? I always though they just looked old and were in reality young but all the hard living had caught up with them. Just goes to show you learn something useless everyday.

"The more you know." A public service announcement by Scott Adams.


I hope Bush read the last line of your blog....


You've dumped the car, but I'm waiting until you can dump the airplane. Then I'm in.

jerry w.

I think a better investment would be to scoop up (sorry) Depends stock. If you keep on living you'll keep on eating, if you keep on eating, you'll keep on leaving a trail behind you, perhaps "To infinity and beyond".......

No shit, I'm serious about this matter, even if it's fecal matter.

Oh yeah, try this one on for size, it's about free will:


I have found that alternative medicine is the answer. Now the key to this that alternative just means not what your culture is doing. In the US we cherish the eastern medicine and their wonderful holistic answers for everything from personal, spiritual, physical, to the mundane trivialities. And they seem to work and make everyone happy and postpone the visit from the reaper. However what happens over there when the red cross shows up with western medicine? they flock to it like locusts! Because by some cruel twist of fate medicine only works if it wasn't invented by you ancestors, but someone elses. Which makes sense when you think about it, if it really worked for your ancestors then they wouldn't be your ancestors they'd be your family and neighbors. So yeah that's what I have to say on that.
I think you're on the same track as Woody Allen when he said "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work, I want to achieve it through not dying" Man's a genious!

Sensible Machine

1. Old people who are competing for resources will kill each other for food. This is what we call "the law of nature".

2. I support immortality. Furthermore, I want to be immortal (or just come near to it) so I take a lot of pills to survive the believers who want to die in favour of God.
I read forums like and take a lot of vitamin C, EPA (omega 3 fatty acid), MSM, adaptogens, chelated minerals, melatonin, sprouts and seeds. And there are meds with proven (in rats) anti-aging effect like L-deprenyl (Selegiline) and DHEA...

Choose life.


I think tortoises have the best mix of mortality and immortality.

They hatch, then mature, and then they pretty much stay the same. At the end of their life, they suddenly go into a rapid decline and die. They stay pretty much like 26 year olds for their entire life.

I want to be a tortoise man. I'll put up with the jokes about my shell.

Bill Weitze

When you're squeezing people's heads, I'll bet you say "ADAMS . . . HUNGRY!"


Thanks for the methane comic - "I give and I give" (complete with picture) will keep me laughing for a week.

Jonathan A.

you reminded me of the story of Tithonus. funny.

Zachary Buckler

Do you really use "Longevinex" Scott?

Balkrishna Nadkarni

Dirt nap........... lol

Considering the way the world is going, i'm gonna die in a fusion flamed fire.

Wonder if there is a pill which makes me fire retardent upto 10 million degrees.



There's no way you will be able to keep Dilbert entertaining for that long.


So whose job will it be to kill all the senior citizens?
Sounds like a great job for Paris Hilton. Not too difficult, and she'd probably think its hot.


[Package an obscure slow-acting
cumulative poison in pill form]

Or maybe in diet soda form (according to strangers with no credibility). Hmm...

You know they may be on to something. What would a smart, and devious, government do if it's social security system was headed for sure bankruptcy because of people living longer. It MIGHT let (or even encourage) an aguably dangerous substance, or many such substances, be put into the food supply, hoping that the result would be less people drawing social security. The only prerequisite would be, it has to do it slowly over many years, so as to be hard to pinpoint the cause.

Nah, we should trust our government, if the FDA approved it, it can't be dangerous. What do you think I am, a conspiracy nut?


Dick Cheney


Don't worry so much. The pension you get (and SS) will not be adjusted for inflation. Your Social Security and pension benefit will soon be worth a Big Mac, fries and coke. You will get depressed, stop taking your miracle pills, take up parachuting out of airplanes with parachutes manufactured in Pakistan by extremist Islamic groups. It will all balance out eventually. Mother Nature or whatever you call it, will get things right (or not). Best not to worry too far in the future.

In the meantime, the guy across the street looks rather pissed at you for letting your dog pee on his flowers. You do know he has a concealed handgun permit?


"By then, there will be a lot of old people like me who refuse to die. They will also refuse to work. The immortal slackers will want to collect their pensions and Social Security until the sun turns into a cold dark thing about the size of a penny."

You think that's the future? There are many people collecting welfare that do this already....

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