Just when I was losing all faith in our elected leaders, a little ray of sunshine caught my attention. Florida Representative Bob Allen was arrested for allegedly offering one of his constituents $20 and a blow job. Unfortunately for Bob, that constituent happened to be an undercover cop in a public restroom, so Bob got arrested.
http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070711/CAPITOLNEWS/70711023
My initial reaction to this story was BEST…ELECTED OFFICIAL…EVER. Generally, after we elect a politician, he takes our money and gives it to people we don’t even like. Bob Allen got it right. He’s willing to give his voters $20 apiece and service them orally. He cares.
Some of you might not want to accept the non-cash component of Bob’s offer. But still, you have to appreciate his attitude. They say all politics is local, and Bob takes it to the next level, i.e. inside your pants. I think I found my new preferred candidate for president.
I can imagine Bob Allen negotiating with Korean leader Kim Jung Il:
Bob: Would you stop building nuclear bombs, please?
Kim: What’s in it for me?
Bob: Well, for starters, this twenty-dollar bill…
The article you've linked to says "Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20." Sounds to me like he was offering a service IN EXCHANGE for $20, NOT a free blowjob with a complimentary 20-dollar bill thrown in...
Posted by: hdf | July 13, 2007 at 07:34 AM
Now that would be a real win-win administration!
All were getting from shrub's administration is a good poking in the backside with no "reach-around".
Posted by: Zzyzxmo | July 13, 2007 at 07:27 AM
Actually, he offered to give the undercover officer a blow job *for* $20, not *and* $20. Which is why he was arrested for solicitation for prostitution.
Posted by: John | July 13, 2007 at 07:25 AM
From the article:
> offering to perform oral sex for $20.
He wanted the 20 bucks. What did he need $20 for in a park ?
Posted by: bahbar | July 13, 2007 at 07:24 AM
I understood that to read that he would take $20 for performing the service...in that case it's the classic politician...takes your money and screws you.
Posted by: Berimbau_one | July 13, 2007 at 07:23 AM
Usually politicians are more interested in preforming anal on their constituents. This is a welcome change.
Posted by: Andrew | July 13, 2007 at 07:18 AM
Occupation:
Economic Development/Education
Recreational Interest:
water sports
Seriously, though. He's one unhealthy looking feller! He'd HAVE to pay someone to touch him, or he'd never get any. *cringe*
And never mind the ethics of the situation. He's just stupid for getting caught. That's what all you guys are thinking, right? *rolleyes*
If attitudes towards health and scientific research were not so prehistoric, people who look like this wouldn't even exist!!
[And that Cindy woman is GROSS!!!JUST Ewwwwww!!!!!!!]
Posted by: Penethra | July 13, 2007 at 07:17 AM
Are you sure he wasn't asking for $20 in return for the personal service he was offering? Thats the way I read it in that article.
Posted by: Paul | July 13, 2007 at 07:16 AM
This is a good show of true Republican values.
But (sorry)), at the moment his value seems to be pegged at $20.00, which is under market rate in Los Angeles. He could do the same thing to the intersection of Highland and Santa Monica that Disney did to Times Square, "inject" new life into it.
It might be right up his alley, so to speak.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/
Posted by: jerry w. | July 13, 2007 at 07:15 AM
The way I read it, he wanted to be paid the $20 for performing the service. Since he's in the vicinity of your pocket anyway...
Posted by: Joel | July 13, 2007 at 07:14 AM
Is "Bob" his real name, or just a nickname he earned?
Posted by: Frank | July 13, 2007 at 07:13 AM
He was only doing the BJ to go through the guys pockets and get his money back.
He may be a politician but he's not a fool.
Why was the cop "relaxing" in the toilet ? Is that the best use of police time ?
Paul
Posted by: Paul Mckenna | July 13, 2007 at 07:11 AM
The daft thing is that had he made the two offers separately he wouldn't have broken the law, and it all would have blown over - as it were.
Posted by: Bez | July 13, 2007 at 07:09 AM
Well, if he was running for vice president with a presidental candiate named Neal, then together they would be "Neal and Bob".
Posted by: Alan | July 13, 2007 at 07:00 AM
I'll just take the $20. Thanks.
LOL. Ha, ha, ha...
Posted by: Alan | July 13, 2007 at 06:57 AM
Does he want Bill Clinton in the White House, too?
That sounds like a win-win relationship
Bill - "Wow! Monica never gave me money............."
Posted by: Craig Masson | July 13, 2007 at 06:55 AM
Funny how it always seems to be the Republicans, the party that loves to wave the 'Family Values' flag, who get caught in the very acts that they so vehemently decry.
Coincidence? I think not.
Posted by: Stan | July 13, 2007 at 06:54 AM
Bob believes it's better to give than receive; and just raised the bar for elected officials everywhere. "Hey! You want my vote? Be like Bob!"
Thanks for the laugh - it's the 2nd best way to start the day. I believe #1 starts with a $20...
Posted by: Real Live Girl | July 13, 2007 at 06:54 AM
That's great! Where do we get these people from? :)
Posted by: Ann | July 13, 2007 at 06:52 AM
quick attempt to be first post, probably missed it.
Scott: I liked one update a day better
Posted by: Bob's friend | July 13, 2007 at 06:52 AM
Ahh, the carrot and stick approach to world affairs. Don't punsh the leaders/countries you don't like, offer them something in return for them changing their crazy ways. I like it.
Posted by: jamie, derby | July 13, 2007 at 06:52 AM
Shouldn't the headline be: "A Politician Who Gives It?"
Posted by: Ryan Vande Water | July 13, 2007 at 06:50 AM
Do you actually spend any time writing comics anymore? or just writing blogs?
Not that i'm complaining, another good post Scott.
Woo! First comment (hopefully)
Posted by: Matt | July 13, 2007 at 06:50 AM
I'm pretty sure we already had a president who was willing to do "favors" for his "constituents". :o)
WATYF
Posted by: WATYF | July 13, 2007 at 06:47 AM
Are all American politicians obsessed with sex?? Don't feel bad though, our vice president was arrested for rape and fraud in the same year...
Posted by: Angel | July 13, 2007 at 06:47 AM