Just when I was losing all faith in our elected leaders, a little ray of sunshine caught my attention. Florida Representative Bob Allen was arrested for allegedly offering one of his constituents $20 and a blow job. Unfortunately for Bob, that constituent happened to be an undercover cop in a public restroom, so Bob got arrested.
http://www.tallahassee.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070711/CAPITOLNEWS/70711023
My initial reaction to this story was BEST…ELECTED OFFICIAL…EVER. Generally, after we elect a politician, he takes our money and gives it to people we don’t even like. Bob Allen got it right. He’s willing to give his voters $20 apiece and service them orally. He cares.
Some of you might not want to accept the non-cash component of Bob’s offer. But still, you have to appreciate his attitude. They say all politics is local, and Bob takes it to the next level, i.e. inside your pants. I think I found my new preferred candidate for president.
I can imagine Bob Allen negotiating with Korean leader Kim Jung Il:
Bob: Would you stop building nuclear bombs, please?
Kim: What’s in it for me?
Bob: Well, for starters, this twenty-dollar bill…
One of the things about Bush that really lets me sleep soundly at night is that when he was Governor of Texas, he used to visit strip clubs and snort coke with the strippers.
I figure that he's not the sort who's going to be thinking that God wants him to become A Biblical Figure and start Armageddon if he's trying to score with strippers in his off-hours.
It's the guys who haven't been laid in the last thirty years that worry me. Bush sounds like my sort of guy.
Posted by: WCE | July 13, 2007 at 12:40 PM
I'm not above it. If it were offered here in the UK I would take such a deal, with MPs competing for my love. Someone like George Galloway or Ken Livingstone would have to be willing to do it daily to get my vote, Oona King wouldn't have to bother with the twenty quid, although I am being a bit generous there, and Boris Johnson could just give me the money and a tickle. And you can bet if Livingstone missed a day I'd be straight on the phone to 0898BORISMAID, which has nothing to do with anything.
Posted by: Jez | July 13, 2007 at 12:25 PM
I'd like to know why all the super public gay guys have to be outed in public restrooms or by interns!!
I work for 6 years on my grandmother to get her to finally take my sexuality seriously and poof...all gone...deep sigh...
Posted by: Chad Turner | July 13, 2007 at 11:44 AM
I just peed my pants.
jj
Posted by: John | July 13, 2007 at 11:34 AM
Hey Scott!
Since free will is one of your favorite subject, here is a serie of three comic strips from "Boy On A Stick And Slither" on the subject of Destiny vs Free will.
http://www.boasas.com/?c=822
http://www.boasas.com/?c=823
http://www.boasas.com/?c=824
Enjoy.
Posted by: kevin | July 13, 2007 at 11:24 AM
lol
Posted by: Matthew Kovich | July 13, 2007 at 10:59 AM
This is EXACTLY what is wrong with our government today. Either you pay someone $20 to have oral sex performed on you, or someone pays you $20 to perform oral sex on them, but NEVER NEVER NEVER do you pay for the privilege of performing oral sex on someone else.
Posted by: Alien | July 13, 2007 at 10:55 AM
"Minutes later, he solicited an undercover male officer inside the restroom, offering to perform oral sex for $20."
Scott, I'm lost. It really read to me like he was asking for a campaign contribution, but was low on Purell and didn't want to shake hands.
Posted by: Brad | July 13, 2007 at 10:47 AM
I'm thinking of starting my own blog: "Penises in the News."
My theory is that, if you look at local news stories from around the world, you'll find that somewhere, every day, a journalistic spotlight shines on the craven member of some unfortunate public figure. I think the world could use a daily compilation of such stories.
Posted by: ScottRC | July 13, 2007 at 10:26 AM
This is eerily similar to a situation that happened in a town not to far from where I live. Several men were arrested for getting it on in a park restroom. The best part of the story was that one of them was very well known for being....
THE MALL SANTA
Posted by: Sonrisa | July 13, 2007 at 10:22 AM
What? I thought it was the politician the one who is meant to recieve the blowjob. Ask Clinton.
What's going on with the american politicians?
Oh, BTW: in yesterday's comment I called you Steve :P. Sorry Scott, my mistake.
Posted by: F. Dwarf | July 13, 2007 at 10:21 AM
So many great quotes to hit on in one news article.........
"Gov. Charlie Crist's office did not have an immediate comment Wednesday evening."
Does this mean that the next time Bob is spending time on his knees, he's going to be praying to Christ?
If so, he most likely won't get $20.00 for being in that position for the first time in years.
http://boskolives.wordpress.com/
Posted by: jerry w. | July 13, 2007 at 10:12 AM
What the fuck?
Posted by: Freddy | July 13, 2007 at 10:12 AM
DF. would love to just agree w/ you wholeheartedly, but what is the condescending about US all about. No country is perfect but we're damn good. and about the teaching abstinence part...as a mother of a 17 yr old let me tell you they teach them everything except abstinence. In 8th grade they were teaching them how to outfit a dildo w/ a condom.
but we definatly should legalize prostitution.
you gotta love a politician who is so giving.
Posted by: brenda | July 13, 2007 at 10:00 AM
"Funny how it always seems to be the Republicans, the party that loves to wave the 'Family Values' flag, who get caught in the very acts that they so vehemently decry."
Wow! Bill Clinton was a Republican??
Posted by: maw | July 13, 2007 at 09:55 AM
Here's an article that make it a little clearer that good old Bob was in fact offering the cop $20 to let him polish his knob.
Article is titled 'Rep. charged with offering undercover officer $20 for oral sex'
http://www.heraldtribune.com/article/20070712/BREAKING/70712019
Posted by: Ariel | July 13, 2007 at 09:55 AM
Ever notice how it's only the repressed homosexuals that do things like pay for sex in dirty public bathrooms or molest children? Gay men who aren't ashamed of being gay, on the other hand, would use the $20 to buy drinks at a bar and get laid like a normal person. Their also interested in having sex with men not boys.
It's so funny how the more the Catholics and Republicans try to fix the gay "problem" the more real problems they create. Once upon a time southern red-necks haited Catholics and Republicans. Ahhh, the good old days.
Posted by: Dixon | July 13, 2007 at 09:37 AM
This is the problem with journalism these days. In a rush to get a sensationalistic piece published, important facts just get glossed over.
They never said whether the arrest was made before or after the politician gave the undercover officer the bj. This will have a huge affect on my view of this matter.
Posted by: DML | July 13, 2007 at 09:27 AM
The guy WANTED $20 for his services of doing a blow job on the cop. Apparently he has not figured out how to rip off voters like all the other politicians.
Another way to say it, "I will sell this blow job to you for $20"
Posted by: AC | July 13, 2007 at 09:22 AM
The only funny part of this entire post is how idiotic the people are who commented with praise for Scott and failed to RTFA. Bahahahaaa!
Posted by: SpongeJim | July 13, 2007 at 09:16 AM
You know photos like this aren't going to help him...
http://www.myfloridahouse.gov/FileStores/Web/Imaging/PhotoAlbums/HousePhotoOriginal0459.jpg
Posted by: Jake | July 13, 2007 at 09:11 AM
"Are all American politicians obsessed with sex??"
No, its the American religious leaders, also. We just had a minister from a local church found dead in his home in a comprimising position wearing sad-masochism sex costume. He died from asphyxiation.
Nobody around here seems particulary surprised.
Posted by: niCk(MemBeth) | July 13, 2007 at 09:08 AM
Gotta have the $20 to buy some crack!
Posted by: Dan K | July 13, 2007 at 09:02 AM
Oh sure... rag on Bill Clinton for screwin' the public (one at a time) but at least he didn't just blow us off like this guy!
(sorry... had to do it)
:-Þ
Posted by: basselope | July 13, 2007 at 08:48 AM
oops! I didn't misread that. I just refused to believe it, I guess. HE was _offering_ his services as a male prostitute?! GAWD!
Posted by: Penethra | July 13, 2007 at 08:47 AM