How to Pick a President

When voting for a presidential candidate, keep in mind how often you will have to look at his or her face. This is especially important because presidents age quickly under the stress of the job. If you elect a president who is old and unattractive right out of the gate, things are going to get tragic fast.

To illustrate my point, I used software to digitally age one candidate, so you can see how he will look after a few weeks in the oval office.

You can do this at home. I invite you to pick any presidential candidate and post links to his/her picture and then to any picture that reminds you of the candidate.

To get you started, here are some links to pictures of the candidates from each party. You just have to find one you can match.

http://www.presidentpolls2008.com/Issues/Candidates/Democratic-Presidential-Hopefuls/index.php

http://www.presidentpolls2008.com/Issues/Candidates/Republican-Presidential-Hopefuls/index.php

Here's an example:

Fred Thompson Before:

http://www.presidentpolls2008.com/Issues/Candidates/Republican-Presidential-Hopefuls/Former-Senator-Fred-Thompson-of-Tennessee.html

Fred Thompson After Eight Years:

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://alderaan.tgiforte.com/gallery/albums/tina/Skull_Front.sized.jpg&imgrefurl=http://alderaan.tgiforte.com/gallery/tina/Skull_Front&h=640&w=468&sz=77&hl=en&start=633&um=1&tbnid=fDndHm_dPiLz2M:&tbnh=137&tbnw=100&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dskull%26start%3D620%26ndsp%3D20%26svnum%3D10%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

Comments

[CLD]

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v53/wheatheart/?action=view&current=separatedatbirth.jpg

Maybe this will work:

He's not really a candidate, I guess, but close enough. I made this two or three years ago. Dude has no fucking neck.

[Okgenuine]

Before - http://carlcoxphoto.com/assignment29.html

After 8 Years - http://vividfury.com/galleries/starwars_portrait_series/darth_sidious.html

Hehe. That's the best I could do.

[TomB]

Scott, you've mentioned entertaining a run at the big O (-val Office), I believe on the Oprah ticket. So here's your scientific age progression.

Scott Adams now:

http://www.grabow.biz/Comedy_Magic/ScottAdams.htm

Scott Adams in 8 years:

http://www.nathan-art.net/gallery/LiberalArt/Larry_David

[David]

Al Gore before:
http://hosted.ap.org/photos/X/XMB10409100823-big.jpg
and after:
http://www.otherlandtoys.co.uk/images/gremlin800.jpg
I don't know why I did that.

[Penethra]

Here's Bill Gates after eight years:

http://www.kostumeudlejning.dk/image2/kendte/Freddy_Mercury.jpg

[stupergenius]

A bit tangential but relevant I think.

Pope Benedict Before:
http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Image:BentoXVI-28-10052007.jpg

Pope Benedict After:
http://www.cedmagic.com/featured/he-man/skeletor.jpg

[ComidaDos]

I feel sorry for the guy who posted his comment on the wrong blog entry. So let's all laugh at the pathetic bastard.

[squigs]

Excellent point.

Dorian Grey should stand for election!

[Phil Gerbyshak]

Scott - good thing you're not running for president. I can only imagine what you'd look like if Rudy looks like Gollum.

:)

Seriously funny stuff though! Thanks for the chuckle on Sunday!

[Jim]

You've been ripping on Romney for awhile now... nice to see you go after Giuliani and Thompson. Definitely makes you appear fair and balanced.

[just_human]

I'm not sure how out of date that site is, considering it lists Governor Vilsack, but if Fred Thompson was actually running, I'd vote for him. The man obviously knows how to act in front of a camera, and that, as far as the sheeple are concerned, is the most imporant feature. After all, if a man studders or or acts nervous in front of millions of people, he must be a retard, yuk yuk yuk, am I right?

[Mokkery]

The Fred Thompson skull was a riot!! I laughed my ass off when I saw it...then I realized something. If another republican gets elected, we’ll all look like that after 8 years.

[jerry w.]

I once would have said that there's no need to look more than four years into the future, since no one knows who will earn a second turn. Now, while shit for brains is still in office, I think it might be a valid concern.

It appears that not only, as my mother told me when I was a kid, can anyone can grow up to be president (or, not really grow up), but that said person could still be in office for a second term after screwing up worse than anyone in our history.

The real trick would be to show what's left of our constitution will look like in 2009, assuming that there is anything to show.

And, that's a big assumption.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[Penethra]

I joked that our prime minister ought to be elected for his look and they didn't realize I was joking…

[Megalodon]

In such a case, we should have a porn star compete like that california governor candidate...at least she'll be easy on the eyes as she sodomizes another country for unclear reasons.

[The Tree]

WARNING! This picture is not to be taken seriously.

John Edwards now
and after the election:
http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/5776/johnhitleryf9.png

[Bromond]

Here's one for the liberal side...

Al Gore before:
http://illuminati-news.com/graphics/GoreAl(3).jpg

Al Gore after eight years:
http://micksylum.bravehost.com/myPictures/crazy_old_man.jpg

[TwoUnicycles]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/4711689.stm

The BBC news site says that (ex)Prime Minister Tony Blair spent more than £1,800 of taxpayers' money on cosmetics and make-up artists when in office.

We wuz robbed.

Irish premier Bertie Ahern, is reported to have spent more than £115,000 on his appearance since 1997.

Can George W top that?

[Todd]

No fair ragging on my boy Rudy. I know he's seemed a little bipolar lately with the softpedaling his social positions (gotta make that conservative base feel comfortable) but even back when he was being NYC's mayor there was no evidence of his ever biting off anyone's finger. Nothing solid. And I'm sure he flossed afterward.
Fred, on the other hand, pretty much already looks like that. Still gets the chicks, too.

[Bromond]

This is kinda stupid, but fun...

Condoleeza Rice:
http://mooreslore.corante.com/archives/images/condoleeza%20rice.jpg

Condoleeza Rice after eight years:
http://centurychina.com/plaboard/uploads/condoleezza_rice_dog.jpg

[HockeyMonkey]

Just wondering if we posters can place images using html, or if we have to use links. In any case, with all the "old pres" pictures, i figure she can pretty this page up. I'd vote for her.

[Bromond]

I don't know why, but I am finding more matches for the republican candidates...

Mitt Romney:
http://graphics.boston.com/bonzai-fba/AP_Photo/2004/10/18/1098092365_4930.jpg

Mitt Romney after eight years:
http://www.sptimes.com/News/083101/photos/2b-rogers.jpg

[Frank Roche]

Oh, man, that Fred Thompson one...."chroist" that's funny.

[Matteo522]

Ron Paul Today:

http://www.enterstageright.com/archive/articles/1003/102703paulron.jpg

Ron Paul after the mutant invasion of 2011:

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/8/8c/Magnetox3.jpg

Who's side are YOU on?

[John Elliot]

+1 Rudy -> Gollum

We would have also accepted the Crypt Keeper; another Daily Show favorite. Gollum is clearly the superior choice, though, when viewing the reigns of power as the One Ring.

Although if we are to follow your advice we should lower the age requirements for President and select a teenage female (~16) to lead the country.