Rounders Vs. Accumulators

Most people have at least a few big problems in their life. But the vast majority of life’s problems are the little kind. There are two ways to deal with the little problems.

ROUNDERS: This group rounds things off. A problem that’s a two on a scale of one to ten gets rounded to zero. If a rounder has five problems that are all about a two on a scale of one to ten, he’ll tell you he has no problems.

ACCUMULATORS: Accumulators add up all the little problems until they equal one big problem. If an accumulator has five problems that are each a two on a scale of one to ten, that feels like having one problem that’s a ten.

Rounders are generally happy, because they perceive their lives to be mostly problem-free. Accumulators are often miserable because “nothing is going right.”

Readers of this blog will recognize this as closely related to the 80-20 rule about a job well done. Rounders are pleased with a job that’s 80% right because that rounds to 100%. Accumulators take the 20% that’s wrong and add it to the other things that are wrong and suddenly their world is falling apart.

Experts say there are many forms of intelligence: verbal, spatial, musical, kinesthetic, artistic, emotional, etc. I don’t know if there’s a separate category for rounding versus accumulating, but there should be. Or maybe it is part of the larger category of simply knowing what is important and what isn’t.

I’ve often said I have only one special skill. I can look at complicated situations and pluck out the thing that matters. That’s the secret to good writing and good comics. I’ll give you an example. Yesterday I was creating a Dilbert comic that will run in August. In the first panel, Dogbert needed to describe his job as VP of marketing. How do you do that in the fewest words? Here was my solution.

Click it to expand.

Clearly that would never get published, so I ended up changing turd to road kill. It’s not nearly as funny, but life is compromise.

Your assignment for today is to describe your own job in one sentence, preferably in a humorously derogatory way.

Go.

Comments

[Qrawzseg]

i deal with extreme stupidity on a daily basis: HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT

[Jacki]

I work for a Nobel Peace Prize winner. And, yes, it gets Dilberty around here, too.

[Lis]

My job is to do things that people are too lazy to do themselves.

I work for a county government office in economic development. Basically, people ask me questions about the county and I research it for them. Sometimes I make maps.

[Lytle]

My job is to be as aggressively unhelpful as possible. (Guest Service Rep.)

[Articles Submission]

Nice informative article. thanks for sharing and keep sharing such kind of articles, as these articles really helpful for experienced and new comers.

[tebasile]

My job is to sacrifice my individuality to the system for the purpose of completing a series of idiotic exams.

I'm an English student doing GCSEs, and I'm also an artist. Keep up the good work. =)

[Unome]

Right now, my job is to look as nice as I possibly can ( a difficult task at best!) and be a good girl and also to make silly jokes and also, last but not least, to wish everybody that the festive spirit is alive in some measure!

For the first time ever, I have actually done a lil marketing myself! (Marketing the festive spirit to those who prolly know what that means! (I don't!;-))

[Dustfinger]

Be kept awake to learn inane things only to forget them when I finally get to sleep.

- Student

[Shaka]

I engage in semi-insane religious rituals, alienate myself from populr culture, develop cynical views of education and other religions, debate with fanatical peers, and go to bed understanding that I am no closer to self-relaisation than I was yesterday.
I am a hare krishna, my job is to preach.

[Jeremy]

I am a Programmer.
I work on an old system that has had many programmers working on it over the decades.
It works okay as long as you dont fuck with it.
Its my job to fuck with it.

[Ian]

I spend 5 hours a day listening to people i don't like talk about things i don't like so that i can get a job i don't like, and one hour a day eating a sandwich.

[Dan]

I rip off male origins. -- Corn Detasseler!

[Alice]

I count turds.... all day long

aka accountant!

[Andrew G.R.]

i'm a gnat magnet.

[Josef K]

I'm little more than furniture.

[Robert]

I digest different components and deliver them as turds to be sent through the air.

Warehouse Operative for a large airline.

[threecollie]

Each morning before dawn we walk to our place of business, prepare breakfast for the employees and invite them inside to consume it. When they enter we lock them up by their necks, wash a certain portion of each ones anatomy and proceed to use expensive, high-tech equipment, (which includes rubber hoses), to remove certain valuable bodily fluids. The fluid thus obtained is piped to a clean room where it is chilled and kept at a low temperature until picked up by a bulk tank truck every second day. We then spray the employees' certain body parts with disinfectant, spritz a little fly repellent on their backs and let them out into a grassy, fenced compound for eight or nine hours. Then we do it all again.
Oh, we run a dairy farm and the (bovine) employees are quite fond of us as we sre of them them.

[E]

I look at really old turds, then describe them to see if any crap can be squeezed out so you can pay too much for said crap...petroleum geologist

[Sarah]

I listen to members complain why their turds cost so much at the pharmacy, advise the quantity and type kind of turd benefits they have without telling them that their turds are bad because the members are cheap and so is the insurance company.

[drue]

I extinguish turds

fire dept

[TPRJones]

I look at how other people polish their turds and then design tools to help them polish them faster and with less effort.

[TasTigger]

My job is collecting frogs in a wheelbarrow
= Project Coordinator

[Mark]

I put junk in people's mail boxes then go to class to learn what material is best for holding what type of turd. (mailman/packaging science student)

[Dean]

I unscramble eggs - System administrator.

[Jeremy]

I am a high school student. I learn about various topics, so that I can get into a good university, study for 8 more years, get a good job, and then work for 40 years so that I can retire well.
And people wonder why teenagers are ... whatever you adults think teenagers are these days.