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« Brains or Intercourse | Main | Theories You Can’t Test »



op-shops! sometimes they even deliver. but for that you have to be really really nice and probably friends with the manager.


I am just curious about what percentage of people who read your posts also read comments to your posts.



Man, i love that article, especially this:
9. Scream profanities
10. Repeat




C.E. Lopes


Then it is not just me!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

My wife and I just went through a mexican soap-opera to get an office table. We ordered black, they delivered it without legs. Then they got the legs but lost the top. Then the top was backordered and they got us a white one as a temporary thing until the black one arrived - and the white one was stained... Finally they got us the black table. It had the top completely marked (like stains, but this is a BLACK TABLE!!). I complained and the answer was: well, keep it for free, because that table model is not available any more and we don't intend to carry anything like it.

From purchase to this answer: 7 months.

You could say "score, you got a free table!". But that is not really true... I paid for it in my time, stress and frustration.

I would rather have my 7 months back...


Sir Lone Wolf,

Picking out the banal and commonplace everyday grouses and misfortunes and magnifying them thru sarcasm is humorous and entertaining.

For me, it relieves much of the tension and absurdities with a good laugh over life’s little things. That’s why I frequent this blog so often.

If Scott is truly as free from everyday issues as you claim, then all the more kudos to him for EXTRA effort to ferret out one…


bitter much?


....collect it yourself?


1. Garage sale or craigslist.
2. You have furniture.


you scratched the itchy spot (sorry, just another colourful expression)
when i first came here i bought a sofa-bed
i thought more functions - better and more space spared etc
imagine my disappointment when i found that i can't fold and unfold it by myself after the delivery guys assembled it and left
that heavy mattress, i looked inside and it's full 100% of cotton
shouldn't the mattresses be filled at least 50% by air containing substances like porolon something
so it requires 2 people to recline it and where i am supposed to find that second labor force only spirits know
i can't say to a person like sorry, i need you only as a couch-lifter
so it's in a permanent bed position reminding me of my failure and heavily contributing to the shabbiness of my aparto
and i payed almost 500 for it including delivery - it's made in china and would cost 50$ tops over there
just can't believe somebody brought this crap all the way through the Pacific, that heavy mattress, 3 or more futons could be made out of its contents i suppose
sure, me is the dumbest to buy it in the first place, but i was whatever mood, 2. experiencing a culture schock of discovering that beds should be bought in separate parts and over it's prices, especially mattress prices and over my inability to find even simple futons 3. they said they will charge me over re-delivery or something
if it was now i think i could fight them, but then i barely understood spoken english
other small items i bought from ikea and had trouble to assemble those, the armchair, chairs and coffee-table were ok, simple enough
but a dinner table legs needed a screw-driver which i did not have, it's amazing how many things one needs when far from home
so the first 5 sm i screwed somehow, but the rest was too hard to complete, so i left it looking upside down and it lasted like 2 or so days
on the 3d day i came home and saw the table standing there, i was scared like isn't it paranormal something or stalking is occuring etc
but the puzzle was solved easily
just our super happened to check something with bathroom pipes and saw the table and helped me
there are kind souls out there

this is illustrative if to include the dysfunctional sofabed

so you understand why your morning posts are important and hope you won't sabotage until midday on weekends
just kidding
enjoy your weekend
ps. if spring-loaded colonoscopy means do not enter
you can just delete this comment


I tried for many years, often several times a day I even had help on many occasions, it just doesn't work.

I can still see just fine.


Everyone is doing this furniture shopping backwards.First you order furniture that will be sent to you in random fashion;whenever they feel like shipping it;whatever size or style they feel like shipping you.Once you have all the furniture you do not want, then you buy the house that will accomidate the furniture.
Now, getting the house built the way you want it built,that's a whole other can of worms...


Rita Mae... I must disagree with you about Nebraska Furniture Mart. We went there to LOOK for a couch.. not necessarily buy, just look. A saleswoman attached herself to us as soon as we entered her department, and she would NOT leave us alone. I realize she works on commission, and she didnt' want to lose a potential sale to another salesperson, but she was pushy and invasive, and besides that, she spoke with an accent that made her almost impossible to understand. Oh, and she wore a lot of makeup, which is neither here nor there, but it wasn't well applied, and it was just.... off-putting. Anyhow, bottom line... my hubby and I found ONE couch we could agree on, and afford. We said we'd take it, and... yep, you guessed it.. we'd have to wait for it to be shipped. A month later it was delivered, at a charge of $50, (which I think is excessive, especially for a huge operation like NFM. Considering the volume of business they do, they could well afford free delivery.) The delivery guys start bringing it in, and when they encounter some difficulty making a turn between our front door and living room, they give up and tell me it just can't be done. They end up taking the couch back to Omaha with them. So THEN I had to make the 35-mile trek into Omaha to try to find a replacement couch that will fit into our house. I found one that I really didn't like, but at this point I just wanted the whole ordeal to be over, and I took it. After having it a few months, both my hubby and I decided it was the most uncomfortable couch we ever owned, and we gave it to my daughter for her rec room. We bought a couch from our neighbor for $65, and what do you know? It was just as long as the couch the NFM delivery guys couldn't get into the house, and my hubby and the neighbor got it in just fine.
I love the $65 couch - its comfortable in the extreme. Only drawback is.. the upholstery is a dated blue/mauve geometric print that matches nothing in my house. When I called an upholsterer to get a quote on recovering it, she asked me to look for a brand name tag somewhere on it. Turns out, its a VERY expensive couch, of a make that's only sold to designers. Its solid as a rock, and I feel its well worth the $300 or so that it will cost to recover. Needless to say, I will not be going to NFM again. Right now we're moving, and in need of a new dining room set. I intend to buy it in my hometown, even if it does cost more than NFM.. and as far as that goes, I wasn't impressed with THEIR prices at all. The couch that the deliverymen couldn't deliver was over $800. Not exactly what I'd call reasonable. Add the $50 delivery fee to that, too. Too much money for too little satisfaction. Thanks, Nebraska Furniture Mart!


"I knew 3rd world countries were supposed to be poorer, but never knew that they were smaller also.

China is the 4th biggest country in the world.
Brazil is 5th.
India is 7th.
Argentina is 8th."

While I thank you for...defending China's size? Or whatever you were doing, I must point out that China and India aren't exactly considered third world countries. While they may have regions that are poorer than those in the US or Europe, as a whole they are certainly far removed from, say, Ethiopia.


I'm not affiliated, just a satisfied customer. Their combination of quality, service and credit sales has made them the single largest debt holder in Utah, and profitable enough that they are now wholly owned by Berkshire-Hathaway. Buying from them is buying from Warren Buffett.

Their furniture is like Craftsman tools. If it breaks, they fix it or give you a new one, even if it's your fault. This motivates them to sell quality. And, because of their size and volume, (they service California, Nevada, Utah and Idaho) and their delivery time is usually pretty good.

Side-story - my niece and her husband received an R.C.Willey's bedroom set in oak for a wedding present. The bed broke and was replaced, three times. The repair guy gently convinced them that they should have a steel frame with an oak headboard, or so my sister tells the story.

Brad Hutchings

Scott, You need to call up Grovey Grove at Living Spaces. Kobe Bryant does and he's totally happy.

Welcome to Living Spaces
Where Grover is the boss
When Kobe Bryant needs furniture
That's the man he calls...


Oh, your problem is sooOooo last-millennium. What I wouldn’t give for a three legged table or an anal-probing couch.

I’ve got a coffee table that costs ten thousand dollars and requires 120VAC and a high speed Internet connection. It reboots itself 7 times a day and crashes whenever I have more than 3 people in the living room.

Check it out:


Posted by: Stomper | August 03, 2007 at 07:22 AM

Lived in Houston a loooong time and do remember vividly the Mattress Mack commercials.

Then moved to Seattle and some local furniture company there was STEALING Mack's commercials with the "really will save you money" tag line, the pulling money out of the pocket and jumping around like someone who's underwear might be on fire.

But, somehow, that did not seem to work out as successfully for that company as it did for Mack.


I will now step down from my soap box and take a shower.
Posted by: Chrisgiraffe | August 03, 2007 at 08:46 AM

Wow! Someone who performs their job with honesty, integrity and humanity? WELL! You are obviously NOT an American OR you have failed your mission spectacularly! ;)

It has LONG been the American way of business to defraud your customers, and employees, as comprehensively and artfully as possible. Then to brag about it to your superiors while they slap you on the back and tell you how wonderful YOU are for being a barely legal criminal.

Or even sometimes not even following the law and getting away with it. That is even a more well respected coup from the point of view of American business and, recently, even the government applauds such actions.

But perhaps the American business way of life has subtly invaded your mind-set without your realization as you seem to be stating that you need a shower after stating that your are someone who performs their job with honesty, integrity and humanity.

Do such qualities make you feel dirty somehow?


Born in the land of IKEA, I've only ever bought one piece of furniture I couldn't take home with me the same day (a couch actually). And if it turned out broken, I probably broke it myself assembling it.


here's my solution. don't buy furniture. come up with a design you like and have it made. it usually comes out cheaper this way (with designer stuff anyway)


There's no warehouses or factories in South Carolina having a laugh at your expense. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find much furniture production in the US at all. There are probably a lot of Chinese and Vietnamese laughing at your expense, though.

The problem comes down to greed on the part of both factory owners and unions and stupidity on the part of the American government and desire for low cost goods by the American people.

Costs on domestic furniture kept going up due to high wages from the unions and greed from the factory owners. As costs went up, manufacturers started looking to offshore production to keep profit margins up. Add to that that the current administration decided that the way to save US mill jobs (for the fabric for your chair) was to impose a quota not a tariff. This means that only X yards of fabric can come in per month from overseas.

Not only did this not save mill jobs (2 major mills shuttered last week in fact, Quaker and Mastercraft, which is having a huge ripple in the upholstered furniture industry), but it means delays in popular upholstered products since only a certain amount can come in in a certain amount of time. (Thank your president for that!)

Delivery dates on many upholstered furniture products have now become moving targets because of import fabrics and the rapid loss of US mills. I can't speak for all furniture stores, but most of us out there want you to have your furniture as much as you do...especially considering that we don't get all of the money until you get the product.

Add to that that the average consumer expects prices on furniture to be like electronics and go down, not up. That means going to the low cost provider - i.e. not US production...and that means quality issues and delivery time delays that the retailer can't control.

It's a bad situation all around and there's no easy solution in sight. Since my email shows up where you can see it, feel free to email me if you want more information on this. I'd be happy to share an insider's view.

Another last parting thought - you really do get what you pay for...with the exception of Crate And Barrel and their ilk, which is way overpriced for the quality. In most cases, there really is a difference between a $399 sofa, a $999 sofa, and a $1999 sofa. Most of it is where it can't be seen, though.


I haven't had that experience with furniture (but I HAVE met a similar problem when buying MP3s), but I have a furniture related story.
I once had an apoplectic budgie that escaped from my room and flew downstairs. Confused and squawking angrily, it took refuge under the couch. But when I looked under the couch...IT WASN'T THERE!!! There was, however, a previously unseen hole torn in the bottom. I prayed that what I thought had happened hadn't happened and banged my hand on the sofa. A furious "ACKACKACKACKACKACKAKCK!" erupted from the arm of the couch.
We got that budgie out, eventually, using a tough rubber glove and lots of patience, and later gave it to some friends. They tell me that they renamed it 'Stewey McSpud' and that it mercilessly bullies their pet cockatiel, twice its size.


I am a lame German bastard an my english is quite good, but when I read words like "colonoscopy", I always have to use the translation feature of the Google toolbar. In such cases I hover (actually the cursor of the mouse hovers) for five seconds over the word "colonoscopy", until I realize that Google Toolbar doesn't provide any translations for words that I don't know myself.

To cut a long story short: Scott, could you either use only words that get properly translated by Google Toolbar translator (I agree that this would reduce the quality/joy factor of your postings) or send them the list of words including all transalations before you post?



Lea Johnston said: Great News! Its same in England as in the US. I thought it was just us that get stuffed!

Oh, Canada too... Hmm, seems to be wider spread than I thought. I previously thought it was just one particular furniture store, whose name begins with B and rhymes with "ick"

I bought my couch from Sears. It's good -- and I've had it 6 years now, so it's not even one of those sneaky things that just waits for the warranty to expire. Try there next time?


Try LaZboy. I shopped, bought some huge thing, delivered 16 days later. Too big. Exchange? Sure, no problem! Correct size object is exchanged 14 days later. Broken? Sure! Actually just a little wobbly. LaZboy repairman comes 4 days later, tightens 'er up, good as new.

Also, why don't you have a big truck and a number of lackeys to just by god go get you some furniture, pronto!?

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