May 2008

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Firstly, the whole isn't in the middle of the universe, it's on the outskirts, so it's not really a donut. Plus, the universe is more of a sphere than a disk. So it's more like a water balloon with an air bubble.

Secondly, i thought your theory had more to do with the time element of space-time being donut-like, not the space part.

Your theory totally craps out.


According to your theory, everything travels toward the donut hold, then back out again. 2 reasons why this does not confirm your theory:

1: The scientists said that these holes most likely form because matter is pulled away from an area, toward regions of high density. This means stuff is moving AWAY from your big donut hole.

2: Possibly we could be on the going away-phase of the donut universe, where in your analogy the ant climbs out of the donut hole. In that case I would expect the empty spot to be a 'white hole,' something that spews out matter and energy at enormous rates, just like black holes suck them in. Instead, there is nothing at all in your 'donut hole.' No black hole, no white hole.

So sorry, but your theory isn't proven. Looks like this patch of nothing is just that: nothing.

Jacob G

Well it's not quite what your donut theory describes but it's getting there.

By the way, Scott, which invented cuss phrases were your favorites? Are there any you consider worthy of adopting?


SO what are you trying to say? This was YOUR idea? wtf....


Yes, but how many calories is it?


The hole represents all the free will that was sucked out of us by your so-called "affirmations".


Maybe it’s one of those ass-donuts for people with hemorrhoids. Yes, I’m sure of it. It makes perfect sense. The universe is just God’s ass-donut.

Woo hoo! First post to use the term ass-donut!

Tim Martin

The mind you seek on this subject is probably Arthur M Young, I met him in the worlds of sorcery before the greater magic of google happened (1977) You sorta met him the first time you saw a helicopter.
I never actually read his donut theory but he showed it to us in a shared mystic dream in the days of the unimaginable.


This does not prove that the universe is a donut.

But it proves two things.

First, you should have a chat with Grigoriy Perelman about geometrical topology.

Second, you should have a chat with Stephen Hillenburg how to capture the nature of the universe in a cartoon.


The universe is really shaped like a donut, huh?

About the hole in the middle...
"That's an expanse of nearly 6 billion trillion miles of emptiness"

6 billion trillion miles? Wow, I would have hated to break out a tape measurer and actually measured that thing. Almost sounds made up, like when I read the sun's heat was 1.86 trillion trillion degrees Fareinheit...

It might be 6 billion trillion miles, 78,658 feet and 72 inches long, for all we know. Who broke out the tape measurer on this one...?


Is it jelly filled?...Maybe we're the jelly.

jerry w.

The universe has a big hole in the middle, and all this noise gets generated about it?

I'm far more worried about the big A-hole that's in the middle of the white house who, perhaps, has to sit on a donut.

Or is in need of taking a flying fuck at it.


It doesn't say anywhere that the universe is donut-shaped... it just says that there is a large area with little to no matter in it.
This would be perfectly consistent with a sponge-shaped universe, for example. How do you infer from that article that the universe is donut-shaped?

To be a guy who boasts of a 171 point IQ (or whatever) you are surprisingly lacking in your reading comprehension skills.



As usual, ignorant idiots accept Scott's contention without thought. Good job.

Congrats to those who see the "holes" in it.

Chris Honkala

From reading the article - it sounds more like someone took a big bite out of the donut.

Artemas Gruzdeff

By the way, Scott, while the Universe is most certainly not a donut a Time Machine is. Check it out:


You are SO full of shit!

And that mekes this Blog so hillarious :-)


Well it's obvious.If the universe is shaped like a donut,then this hole must be the bit where all the jam squirts out of....


"American only reads the headline- Full story below"


Here is another link on the story for your science readers:

terry k

Is that the giant hole you say I am now crawling towards (or am I crawling away)? I am still confused.

Enough Wealth

The fact that there are many of these 'holes' in the universe just proves that, as my mum always said, "the universe was like a box of donuts - you never know what size you're gonna get" [to be read with a Forrest Gump voice in your head].


Tom Gao

If our universe is a donut, then our parallel universe must be none other than coffe-shaped. The correspondence is both uncanny and inevitable. Perhaps the notion was first brought up by an over-worked state trooper whom had taken one too many late shifts.


Have you considered the possibility that the void might not be the hole in the donut, but a bite taken out of it?
Mmmmmm donuts.
God is Homer Simpson.


Maybe I just don't know enough astrophysics, but all that mentioned was a giant hole. In the vastness of space, maybe one of a gajillion giant holes. From what I can tell, WE DON'T KNOW. Its a stretch to go from "We found a giant empty spot, which is wierd and unexpected" to "We found a giant empty spot, around which space and time loop". I think your a little to eager to have your point proven, and normally I wouldn't post, but it irks me that you put in a short ha-I-told-you-so post when it doesn't seem so concrete, or even incredibly likely, based on the info of the link.

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