May 2008

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« Death by Camel Hump | Main | Basic Instruction, Part 7 »


Marc Brooks

BTW, Rudy's not lying,M1 (then click the search within the book and you'll find a reference on page 108)


I don't quite get it. Why all the penis jokes? Are you all not getting much lately?

Marc Brooks

Wouldn't that be "when you have a Hoover doing a Lewinsky on your Johnson", or do you know something I don't regard Bill?

Shane Burgel

I totally thought of your donut theory when I read that article yesterday.


I did think the weirdest thing about the story was not the actual accident but the fact that he does such an act anyway. I mean, what? How, why, what? The mind boggles, it really does.


Man, what the hell??? The quality of news keeps getting excessively weirder as the days go by. I mean, REALLY! I know there are billions of people in the world, and that stuff happens every day, but be for real! I mean, where the hell do these people come from...? Guy jumps in lion cage, guy jumps in bear cage, the story about the guy who humped the goat and was forced to marry it, the guy that gets ate by his pet spiders, the camel that humpped the woman to death and now a British dwarf getting his penis stuck in a vacuum. I mean, COME ON!

Can the daily news get any weirder?


ah - the Circus of Horrors - i saw said act last December

vacuum cleaner please - not "hoover" - do i need a tannoy to announce that?


[On the other hand, when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week, it sets the bar high.]

I just love it when you Polk fun at people like that!

Dave K.

This guy needs to spring for far more acoommodating attachments. Dust-free testicles are overrated; if there is dust down there, you can write your name with your finger.


"dust-free nuts"
Great post.


"when you have a Hoover doing a Clinton on your Johnson five nights a week"

You owe me a new keyboard, Scott. Nose-filtered Diet Coke all over mine...

Ok not really. But dang close.

Cheers to the trifecta.


Absolutely one of your funniest posts ever! Thanks for the giggles!



Have you ever noticed we go through phases where we just couldn't make enough of this stuff up?

Some Russian guy's ex turns his dick into a wick:


if you think people are canvasing the internet for these stories, think again. they all come from

Paul O

What's so special about donuts? The outer surface is continuous, sure, but the "hole" is just as much on the outside of the donut as any other part of it.


I've seen his show, November 2005, it's from Circus of Horrors... all sorts of fun nasty stuff


Thank goodness he wasn’t using a Dyson. All that un-ending suction, and you can look at what you’ve just sucked up. You can clearly see he's nuts...


Regarding the "spacetime donut", cosmologists, physicists, etc. have therorized for decades that the universe is shaped like the surface of a 3-torus. In fact, loads of geometers and astronomers are in on the study as well. For a while now, people (and computers) have been viewing the universe through a telescope, hoping to see the Milky Way somewhere far off.

Brain of J

There is a movie called Primer where a group of engineers build something sort of similar to that time machine in their garage.

Paul Mckenna

Finding a dwarf glued to your vacuum cleaner is normal in Scotland.

It just gets irritating after a while. An dthey expect you to buy them drinks and crisps whilst waiting.


LA Clay

Now I have an image of presidents Clinton and Johnston hoovering, thanks a heap Scott.

Excuse me while I go do man stuff to affirm my Hetrosexuality.


Daniel said: "The article says "British dwarf ...". This is one of those times where I have to insist we describe him as Scottish."

Heehee, Scottish.


There are two basis types of vacuum cleaners. There's your canister with the hose and wands and attachments (even your deluxe models don't include a midget) and there's your upright. I'm having a fantastic time envisioning the midget with an upright vacuum cleaner glued to his member. Thank you.

Jason Levine

Said By Scott: "eventually he will realize the full implications of the donut. Assuming he can keep the dwarf away from it."

For some strange reason, I'm reminded of a story involving my wife's family. My wife's cousin was recounting driving his car around in small circles, commonly referred to as "doing donuts." My wife's grandmother overheard that he was doing donuts and got disgusted that he would have relations with a bakery product! Of course, my wife's parents had to buy her a dozen Dunkin' Donuts afterwards. ;-)

I'd say feel free to turn this into a strip, but I don't know how you'd get it past the editors. Up for a challenge? ;-)


There is nothing new in the world except the history you do not know.
--Harry Truman

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