May 2008

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« Basic Instruction, Part 7 | Main | The Power of Stupid »

Comments

David Cooper

These two came from the same group of friends in high school at parties...
"Oh for the love of cock....." and
"Ahh cock of christ...."

We only said them around girls. Their reaction was always great, they always hated it. Suprisingly, we didn't get laid a lot........

David Cooper

These two came from the same group of friends in high school at parties...
"Oh for the love of cock....." and
"Ahh cock of christ...."

We only said them around girls. Their reaction was always great, they always hated it. Suprisingly, we didn't get laid a lot........

Dan

Easy as taking a shit in your bed and kicking it out with your foot!

NJK

When my sweet little auntie reached the limits of her patience, she would mutter, "Well, God bless America and all her ships at sea!"

I also favor...
Holy guacamole, batgirl!
Well, dip me in shit and call me stinky.
Well, spank me hard and call me naughty.

(P.S. Mr. Adams did NOT ask for insults, but for creative cussing. Most of these entries are trite.)

Ry

I was always a fan of "assbag".

Adler MacFirewater

"Why don't you go take a flying fuck through a rolling donut......."

bpcrafty

Well my mother could come up some great ones....

To my brother at night when he would rattle around on the open spring matteress.....

Quit yankin' your crank!!

F#&%$k a duck!

I'm going to slap you naked and hide your clothes!

More later.....bp

Billy P.

"You Half a Hard-On!"

Mel Phistopheles

If i absolutely have to swear around the wee ones, I try to remember to yell (as loud as I can):

"Fryingpan!"

Which is as confusing as it is cathartic. Of course until they pick it up themselves.

Babson

The most interesting aspect of this post is that one commenter is quite happy to spell out fuck, shit, ass and balls yet feels it necessary to self-censor c*m and sp*rm.

Another contends that cum guzzling spermburper is "the worst one I've got".

Sperm joins those other danger words penis and vagina? Funny.

Oh, btw - my personal oath - Cunty McCuntlips.

seanconnery

Well Yee-frickin-hah!

hugh

My Dad would say " Piss up a rope "
or alternately tell someone to go and attempt that manouver.

Someone in Winnipeg made up "Fargin Bastidges" or at least that's where I heard that one.
Walt Kelly wrote a few creative cusses in his comic strip
Pogo- " What the tarblinkin bazzfazz? "

The " drag you around...bung hole smokes" line is hilarious!

R10pez10

Holy flying frisbee fuck!

someone else then you

Well since having kids and still have the tendency to whack a thumb with a hammer I started using "Fudgesicles"
tame and not very inventive I know but when I was in school a unpleasent person person was a "c*mguzzling gutterslut" or a sp*rm-burping bitch" and "2-toed monkey fucking ass wrapper"
ways to greet people were
"shelia" (for males)
"chucklemonkey"
"asshat"
exclamation was
"shitballsassfuck"
or as many curse words you could say in 1 breath.

Big D

Jesus Christ on a kebab!

Ken Johnson

I used to work for the meanest, lying SOB on the face of the earth. This is not speculation, it's a scientific fact. His name? James A. Stob Jr.

I find it helpful to substitute his last name for any 4 letter word. e.g.

Stob Off
Could knock a buzzard off a Stob Wagon
Bull Stob

I'm sure you get the idea.....

Ken Johnson

I used to work for the meanest, lying SOB on the face of the earth. This is not speculation, it's a scientific fact. His name? James A. Stob Jr.

I find it helpful to substitute his last name for any 4 letter word. e.g.

Stob Off
Could knock a buzzard off a Stob Wagon
Bull Stob

I'm sure you get the idea.....

Tophe

Fliegende Kinderscheisse

Lindsay

My favorite cuss phrase was coined by mother the English teacher out of frustration for one of her high school students.

"Go play leapfrog with a unicorn."

Of course, it occurs to me now that there is no actual cussing, which makes the implied 'up yours' all that more brilliant.

Jon

I'm quite fond of the cuss phrase "Christ on a bike!"

I like the idea that Jesus would have cycled to work.

Griff

ISH!

Apparently means something in Papua New Guinea.

Griff

I heard this one while at Uni:

ISH!

Apparently it has a meaning in Papua New Guinea.

Paul

When one has just done something stupid or had a stroke of bad luck:

"Balls in my mouth."

When someone else has been tricked into doing something stupid or had a stroke of bad luck:

"Balls in your mouth."

E.N.

Shit. Merde Fuckity fuck fuck. Fuck you in the ass with a dirty ashtray. Just some of the many things i like to say. And i call people whores a lot. Like somebody says something and ill just say ' well that's because you're a whore'. It makes them laugh.

ljcjpjlj

Here's an old one from Dad describing a stupid person: He's so dumb he couldn't pour piss out of a boot with the directions written on he heel.

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