May 2008

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
        1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31

« Basic Instruction, Part 8 | Main | Study Hints That Brains are Involved in Thinking »



HR Giger could do something with those I feel.

Tom Gao

I don't think there's enough vacant desert to fit all them penises.


These punchline setups get longer and longer.....

For decades, guys have bought flashy cars as penis substitutes. Now they can buy actual giant penises. I guess it was bound to happen one day.

Dmitry Z

Well, I shall buy that PP franchise to operate in my country. If anything, there are a lot deserts in it... Thanks for the idea.

Fritz P.

Update on my previous comment: it appears the project is still quite alive. Green Wombat reported about it last June:

There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is those stirling engines don't look like penises at all. The good news is the construction as a whole does have certain erect phallic qualities to it. If you're gifted with a dirty mind, that is. Just follow that URL and look at the pictures...


Do it. I've always thought the monitoring was a big issue gone from conservation too. I want to see my week by week power consumption broken down for me too so I can see that turning off X had a positive impact. Monitoring is huge, especially for a competetive society.

You'll also want to be able to monitor your penis in other units. When just looking at the numbers, watching watt hours will look more impressive. Many people can't relate watt hours, but I think they'll just want to watch numbers spin anyway. Or, translate it into hours-on-a-bycicle (I was just about to post about this) -- saving $2 per year sounds like a waste, but saving 150 hours on a bike sounds quite nice. I wouldn't skip using my dryer for 50 cents a load, but if you told me it took 30 hours on a bike to generate that I'd go on my energy diet.

Once you had the infrastructure, you could even have people join in on a threesome to fund one penis if the cost per penis ($/8=D) was too high.

Relevant words in this post: threesome, unit, load, impressive

Andrew P


I (and many others here) have known about this technology for years, but you seemed completely oblivious to it until a penis-shaped design was published on Wikipedia.

Why, Scott?

Fritz P.

Great post, you naughty person you ;-)

Interesting idea as well. But the Wired article is dated November 2005 and the most recent 'Breaking News' on SES' website is from late December 2006. Has this project (the solar/stirling farm I mean, not Scott's vision of a penis plant) actually materialized yet?


Actually, in response to Chad's complaint that you didn't write about 9/11 instead, wouldn't this, in the long term / best case scenario, be a way to reduce the risk of something like 9/11 happening again?

To wit: these giant penis engine farms would reduce the United States' reliance on foreign oil for energy, which, as I'm sure most would agree, is indirectly one of the major factors leading to the events of 9/11.


Oooooh, I love it when you talk dirty.


I used to help to design specialist erection aid equipment. You know the kind of thing frames, hoists etc :-)

With respect to 9/11 terrorist attack. I'm a Brit, I was in Philadelphia and I watched the second aircraft strike on a plasma screen in the dining area of the local pipeline company. That's when we knew it wasn't an accident. It looked like a Holywood movie. It is so much easier to destroy than to create.


Your idea is already being implemented albeit in the wind-energy sector in Asia (and as somebody else has already commented, in Europe too). Big companies are setting up windmill farms and selling individual windmills to high-networth individuals or smaller companies. The icing on the cake is that you get massive tax-breaks too.

I'm not sure though whether the real-time profit counter/video idea has (yet) been implemented.

But I still think most guys (given the choice) would prefer to own a giant penis rather than a bland old windmill. ;-)


What's a bet your government cuts off the penis instead? Your best chance is to wait until after the elections and then only if you lot vote in a Democrat.

The Sound of KOINK

Why am I limp?


it's time to make some porno movies.


it's time to make some porno movies.


Scott, I think you must have enjoyed the opportunity to type "penis" so often in a scientific/benefit the world context, - are you trawling the waters for the easily offended?
Can the company produce one shaped like Jesus?

Attie Naude

Best idea I've heard all year.

Where do I sign up?


Wow. He's either really good at finding funny stories or he's really good at making normal stories funny.

Personally, I'd love to power my comuter with a large penis.


The ownership model you suggest has been in existing for wind energy for quite some time and has been responsible for generating large investments in the sector. Regulatory measures like the Production Tax Credit, accelerated depreciation, tax holidays, etc ensure that the investments keep coming in and that wind power is cost-competitive with conventional sources.

The bit on online monitoring and information display is difficult to implement, since useful electricity generated depends on grid availability, in addition to wind conditions. It would definitely be cool, though!


Ah, renewable energy.

There's a reason it's expensive.

If you build a 1,000 MW coal plant, it runs all day and night, giving you an average of 975-990 MW with shutdowns.

If you build a 1,000 MW wind farm, you get about 300 MW, plus you will probably have to build another 1,000 MW power plant to supply energy when the wind doesn't blow (because someone still wants the power, even when on calm days). Don't mention all of the fat happy coyotes and not so happy dead birds.

If you build a 1,000 MW solar farm, obviously you will get less than 500 MW, plus again, you will have to have another plant to supply power during the night. Admittedly, this would help with peak usage during the day for nearby cities, but you might have to turn the tv off after dark.

Aside from that, I'm with you, we need to get renewable energy online, and a good scam artist should be able to start something up to make himself a lot of money and his customers not so much money. Kinda like time shares.

Plus, I note that this company has no recent press releases, so obviously the project has been stalled. The original article was in 2005.


These penises just keep on giving.

Bratty McBrattyPants

Could I pay extra to have them exagerate my performance?

Jeff Keys

You had me grinning throughout that whole post, but by the time I got to the last line, I lost it.

Neal Miskin

Y'know, I should have seen that erection punchline coming a mile away, but I didn't. Now I feel like an idiot. Thanks Scott.


The comments to this entry are closed.