Hornier Than a…

Did you see the story about the German guy with two penises? He lost his original equipment in an accident, so doctors built him a new one. Later, he decided to upgrade, but doctors left the previous one until the new one took root, so to speak.

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_1315211.html

When his wife saw the new one, she packed her bags and left him. This raises many questions about what made the wife so mad. There are many possibilities.

I’ll always remember a conversation I overheard at the gym years ago. An unhappy wife was bitterly complaining to a friend that her husband bought a boat without talking to her first. Apparently wives need to be told everything. So I guess one possibility is that the husband didn’t consult his wife before spending their retirement savings on a third pecker that looks like Frankenstein’s month-old banana.

Another possibility is that the man said something inappropriate when he showed his wife his two penises. One can imagine many wrong things to say. Here is a partial list.

1. So, anyhoo, when is your sister coming out to visit?

2. The little one is for you.

3. I’m already a two-fisted drinker, so this just seemed right.

4. I bought the deluxe unicorn option. The next one goes on my head.

5. No more rest breaks for you, beeatch.

6. Maybe the doctors can give you two headaches so we’re even.

7. Now it will feel like throwing TWO pencils down a hallway.

Another possibility is that the man created his own penis design and it had some features that didn’t please his wife. Again, one can imagine many wrong design choices:

1. Bottle opener option

2. Anything with a face

3. A tattoo that says, “Hello Kitty!”

My point is that there were many ways to handle this situation wrong. You can see how a guy with one big head and two little ones might make the wrong choice.

Comments

[gennickbestmaninusa]

[url=http://american-citysearch.com]Welcome to our site[/url] — In the modest building that houses Shore Memorial Hospital
in this town of about 600 people between the Chesapeake and Hog Island bays, a health care crisis is brewing.

[MrKool]

Did you hear about the Mexican with two dicks? He named them, Jose' and JosB.

[Freda Ho]

Hello Kitty...

ROFL!!!!! Thanks Scott for brightening my day! :D:D:D

[Lever]

How convenient, he could come and go at the same time...

[Fungus]

"one for you and one for me!" eewww

[vasco]

-

Whooooo...
what a
weird
story...

...better
to say:
SCARRY...

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http://href.hu/x/2sv1
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[Chmee]

If you do more digging into the story, she had apparently expressed her desire to be part of a sexual Oreo. She was most upset that he understood the "double-stuffed" component, but not the rest.

[rita mae]

It's Monday. Back to work and catching up. I agree with "G" regarding the comment from "Rob". AMEN! If you don't like Scott's topics then go blog somewhere else.

You go, Scotty! Two, huh? All I can handle is one. I don't let anyone in the back door.

Scott, still love you, but still too old to stalk you.

Rita Mae

[Elizabeth]

I don't think there is a single thing that he could have said that would have been right.

Instead of getting a new one- he should have strengthened his tongue abilities.

[Anon]

Maybe she didn't want one thru each door....

[Amit]

May be he said "the doc was giving this chick free with this dude and i think she is not that bad for double bang. Right?"

Or may be he came with a design of a drill? :D

[Ankit]

Nice suggestions on what he should have said....

[pogo]

you know sir, i can probably write a program that can write your sunday comic strips as efficiently now. you have a pattern right there, getting so obvious every week.

and its getting utterly boring!

[Mark Thorson]

Today's (Sunday) strip was
better than usual. Was it
suggested by a reader?
Or a real-life event?

[le Big MAC]

I think I speak for 90 percent of men when I say...
No Doctor I didn't say Twice a Penis, I said Twice as Big A Penis!

[RogerX]

Uhhh Scott? Ananova has no fact checkers. Most stories have no corroboration in any other media. Much of their content is mirrored in publications such as the late, great "Weekly World News."

In other words, next week Ananova could very well be reporting that someone lost their virginity to a wild boar, when some local law then took effect requiring the mayor to marry them.

[PumpkinSpider]

...
Wouldn't the tattoo read "Hello Pu55y" rather than "Hello Kitty"...?

(sorry)

[tjomas]

I think it's inconvenient. Sounds like a japanese manga tentacle porn story

[himanshu]

did no one hear about the gal with two pussies???
http://www.dumbie.com/586/Woman-born-with-two-pussies.html

[Hugo Pottisch]

She merely doesn't like annal and saw no option to escape double penetration it in the long-run...? But I can see where the guy is coming from?

[Kyle]

D Mented seems a bit damaged to me.

I guess she couldn't help it... her mother gets "a little shy, and decided to undress in the bathroom" when she who goes to a stranger's apartment "with the intention of having sex"! rotfl

Like mother like daughter. But you know - all women aren't this way. Some are called "size queens" and won't even think about f**king a man unless he's well hung. Guess a sheltered life like D Mented's is to blame for her making stupid generalizations about what men and women want.

Anyway, I thought it was a very funny blog Scott... fantastic stuff.

[jordi]

Two posts about penises in a week? Is there a continental-drift-like theme-switching happening in this blog?

[Borjan]

You just remind me of an old joke:

Q: Why men don't have penises on their foreheads?
A: Cause then men wouldn't see - the balls would hang over their eyes.

[macuga]

It's too easy to wring jokes out of that particular piece of news.

[thisdaydreamer]

Hello Kitty? Have you seen http://www.kittyhell.com/?