May 2008

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« 900-pound man | Main | A Feeling I'm Being Had »


D. Mented

...So, since ovaries can't provide the same resources (eggs are formed while a bably girl is still in the womb, so ovaries don't continuously produce this genetic material) by your logic, men are God's big joke, but women aren't?
Just curious.
(okay, no I'm not. I just couldn't resist saying that)

By the way, Stomper, you're right, at least in my case. As an atheist,I was mortified when I heard there are atheists calling themselves "Brights". This kind of childish self-aggrandizement is proof -if anyone ever needed it- that we atheists CAN'T claim to be brighter than the general population because we have our self-important fools, too. And Jeff reminds us that we don't all have senses of humor.
My parents taught me there aren't that many really good people out there, and if you allow prejudice to cut you off from the really good ones who are of other races, creeds, colors, nations of origin, etc., you end up stuck with mostly the run-of-the mill from your own demographic, and what ever that may be, it's not very impressive.
I've since learned they are right about that. I don't give one small crap what you believe or don't - it's how you act that matters, and any atheist who can't see that is just as much a fanatic as any religious nutjob.
D. Mented

steve h

can't answer, too busy thinking about painting eyes on my nuts and talking about "irrational exuberance"

Sweet Pea

Scott, you are one of the most brilliant people I've ever read. A post that doesn't mention penises, but is entirely about balls. That takes balls, and is as funny as shit. You rock, and don't ever stop. And, incidentally, why don't you invest in one of those penis clean energy generaters? $200K is more money than I'll ever be able to dream about, but it might be doable for someone like you.

p.s. I, too often have the problem that people don't know when I'm being serious, funny, or trying to make a point obliquily.


RE: rita mae tag line

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."
-- author unknown (Dancing Monkey, maybe)


Do I believe in random mutations?
Yes, they're evident..

Do I belive we "got here" by random mutations?
Not sure, got a better theory?


(reminder: last post you said you weren't superstitious, so I'll be holding you to that!)

the man in the trout mask

What is it with Jeff and Keith? - are these pompous asses for real or what?

Mr.Adams,you should have felt honored that I,a person of extremely high intelligence,would actually spend my time,which is very valuable,reading your blog. And,not only reading it,but responding to it by comment on occasion,thus affording enlightenment to you and your readership. In return for this sharing of my vast wisdom,an expectation on my part that your future blogs would be of a style and content that would meet with my approval was surely not unreasonable.
Well,Mr.Adams,as my expectations have not been met in this regard,I herewith inform you that I shall no longer be reading your insipid blog nor giving your readers access to the wealth of my intelligence.

Jeff and/or Keith


Doh...! The next thing you know, some scientist or multi-national conglomerate will be paying men to donate their stem cells. They will be very similar to sperm banks, except those little guys will not go into the freezer. I am starting to see dollar signs... but I just remembered that I got a vasectomy about six years ago. Doh...!


jEFF, take a look at what you wrote. Who sounds like the more primative creature now? Scott was only making a joke, and you got all puffed up over nothing. His post wasn't about whether or not god exists, but about poking fun at a quirk in the human body, and/or the silly things some scientists discover. Take a chill pill.

BTW: nice post! I love this blog, definately the bright spot in my day.


I don't have the URL handy (you can Google), but the REAL proof of God's existence is that he responded to the lawsuit about which you blogged a couple of days ago. TWICE!

Check it out :)

Btw, possibly the most annoying "bug" in the balls/penis design: having to pee real bad leads to a hard-on (bladder smooshes the veins, causing the erection), and the resulting raging erection prevents peeing, as the situation just compounds itself.



What I want to know is who the hell was poking around inside some guys balls to figure this out!

Dan Quixote

Each one needs to see for himself or herself whether there's a God or not. I who have a steadily improving and fairly groovy rapport with my Heavenly Father, even in the face of personal tragedy (loss of 2 children), can share my experiences and thoughts on it with you, but I don't think I can ever prove it to you. Each one has to take a tiny leap of faith and try calling out with an open mind to God. You won't get the chance to know for yourself unless you "taste and see" for yourself. Thankfully, my role in spreading the good news is to present and to offer, not to prove or convince.

Regards to all, including jEFF.


Talking about stem cells (reproduce itself), does anyone wonder why
- crabs can grow another limb when one is cut off, but human-beings and other animals can't.
- some reptiles can grow another tail if one is cut off.
- humans grow the second tooth but not any more after that.
and why the heck nail and hair keep growing? having to cut them all the time is pain-in-the-neck.

Dilbert's Rabbi

I would prefer a slightly more civilized and thoughtful approach to determining the existence of a Supreme Being; something patterned after the Blaise Pascal or Malcolm Muggridge models.

But your balls-produce-stem-cells-proves-existence-of-God method seems to bring the same result. The only difference is your methodology made me spew coffee all over my keyboard... funny!!!








wow Jeff sick burn man, too bad you can't take a joke. and by the by there is as much evidence on both sides for where we came from. Personally I don't care since we are here now.
on to something that matters though... Scott that was hilarious but perhaps if you combined penis and ball jokes it could be even better? no forget that if i laugh any harder people will think I'm crazy.


New meaning to organ doner.

So the next time I am in a hospital, am I going to start hearing "...put these balls on ice and take the up to the lab. STAT!"



Re: Jeff:

A fanatic atheist is just as annoying and closed-minded as a fanatic Christian. Cut it out."


Steven McDaniel

May I bring your attention to a story in the news about a person suffering from elephantiasis of the testicle. Apparently the thing gives him the appearance of sitting on a big hairy space hopper. I've provided the web address of the story because I know you will all be restrained enough not to use it to look at the pictures.

Or you can Google up 'elephantiasis testicle ' and it'll come up. (Looks gross, doesn't it?)

The point I would like to make is that if it is true that testicles indeed contain life saving stem cells, then this guy could indeed save the world before the 'other' giant organ you lauded in a previous blog got the chance. I don't know how that would affect my theology, though. But you, Scott, are stark, raving mad (not that there's anything wrong with that).


Very random.


this is surely a friday blog post


Bring pack the penis posts!


Ever seen the movie 'Local Hero' ... the character played by Burt Lancaster had a psychiatrist who practised "abuse therapy".

Time to admit it Scott ... this is your own version of abuse therapy.


Balls and God. Interesting post, Scott.

It's hard to fathom that "something" greater than anything you can see didn't have a hand in creating everthing you do see. People who believe in evolution, Big Bang, etc., are making a leap of faith just as Christians are by believe that Jesus Christ was God (for all intents and purposes). It gives us comfort to believe we know the truth when no one really does.

Life has to have some meaning or ultimate explaination otherwise what's the point of it all? Think about that one and you could drive yourself crazy.



I challenge anyone to show me any genetic alteration in any species that improves that species chance of survival. Because it should be happening constantly. I did the math and we should be seeing a completely new species of something every 2-3 years. So where are they?


So if someone fills out an organ donor card, will they now be harvesting those organs as well? We've gotten used to the idea of heart transplants, liver replacements, etc, but replacing the family jewels?

On the upside, if a teenager, driving at a leisurely 115 mph, wraps his car around a tree and goes to that big driving school in the sky, harvesting his balls might be a good idea. Having teenage balls again would be better than Viagra, as long as they didn't make me want to drive into trees.

As for this being proof of God, or 'intelligent design', I'm not so sure. Having your life-creating devices in such a bad location, not too mention how delicate they are, seems less than intelligent.

On a somewhat related topic, there was no intelligence involved in designing bicycles for the sexes. Why do guys get the bikes with the high bar? How many boys didn't have some mishap that caused them to hit that bar with their balls, introducing them to a level of pain that most had never imagined before?

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