May 2008

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Stupid racist author and stupid racist monkeys commenting about it. Hey Scott- enough of your own dance monkey dance business.. It is funny news, but its no longer funny when you start talking about other people's gods. lets not get started on "virgin births" and the like either. It doesnt matter whether you are a atheist believing in Das Kapital or Mein Kampf or Moist robots. Shut up already.


I'm living in India currently - so as I type this I look out the window and see monkey loping across the roof of the building next door. They're EVIL. You can't go outside with ANY food else they'll mob you and try and scratch your face off... they even stole all the preschoolers lunches... India - the country where you get really happy when someone hits a monkey with a tennis ball...


"Who ever thought releasing myxamatosis into the environment would wipe out rabbits? Still happened though..."

Ehm, wasn't that sort of the point, being as it was an attempt at population control?


I wasn't to say anything to that "smart" repply to my very weared "offensive mean funny" comment but I realiced that just "r_gosal" made it quite valid putting the blame on the customer and another company, lol, very appropiate to the current post.


Here is the interview what would've been with the monkey (if one which can talk).

Interviewr - Do you confess to the crime ?
Monkey 1 - No, what can you do about it.
Monkey 2 - Yes, Now - let's scratch him !!..
Monkey(s)(All together) - Let's Get him !

(interview ends with another News interviewer chased by a Gang Bang).

p.s - The Monkey God also known as Hanuman is supposed to be immortal. Likely he is gonna come after you to writing this.. And probably blessing me for contradicting you..


Where we live we are also under seige by monkeys (Durban South Africa). Thankfully most people are smart enough not to encourage them by feeding them, and I think they are not as large as the type of monkeys that man-handled the mayor in India.

The worst part about monkeys? When they crap and throw it at you, or pee on you from the branches above. They especially love doing this to barking dogs. It sucks when your local animal pests are clever!

No one I know has been manhandled over a balcony lately - even our cat manages to lurk while disapprovingly glaring at them and escape any bodily harm.

Baboons are a different story...,,2-7-1442_1369887,00.html

Paul Mckenna

If any of you lard-asses had travelled in the East you would hate monkeys with a deep dark passion. Really.

Buy my book on Amazon !
"Dance Monkeyboy dance !" Subtitled adventures with a hotplate.



Ok Scott a man died and it became a funny post and the man was killed by a monkey or money god if you please. Inhumane. Outrageous but heck it did sound funny when I read it in my morning paper (yup I am from Delhi) And a Hindu who worships Monkey god (for those who are interested he is called Hanuman) and I am not offended by the reference of monkey god

By the way I really liked the section dealing with nuts , bananas etc . So you should stick to penis jokes.

Funeral for this Deputy mayor would be “burned to ashes “ and you sure could mingle with all the relatives (and the CM of Delhi and President if Indian National congress) and it would be really nice to see if some ol granny will tell you that poor guy lost his nuts that’s why he died . ( by the way in India we don’t make fun of dead – which means I am sure people will at least say good things about me when I die ;)

May monkey god bless you with whatever you want

Disclaimer – this comment is result of boredom it should not be considered as my usual rant ( for the usual rant creates more boredom )

Western Christian


Here you go so you don't feel too bad, us westerners \ christians, worship torture devices and zombies, we're also vampires and cannibals. :)

See we make fun of everyone, so don't feel got at.


Talking about monkey gods, did you hear about the dude who lived in Bethlehem? Apparently he had the power to turn water to wine! Now wouldn't that skill come in handy in competing with those French wine makers! Not just that, he could walk on water!! Now, how cool is that? He could go across the Atlantic and not worry about hitting an iceberg because he can step across it!! Brilliant isn't it? And he could cure the sick and bring people back from the dead. That's what I call a slap across the face for all those poor bastards who spent years studying to be a doctor.

Myths, folklores and superstitions exist in all cultures and across all religions. They are never meant to be interpreted literally but is meant to be euphemism to how different people lead their lives and point you towards how you should be leading yours. But then, expecting someone like you, whose culture and civilization dates back a mere 200 years, to understand it would be to give you too much credit for your intelligence.

I know you might come up with the "dance monkey dance" routine, but then there are some tunes to which you dance, no matter what. This just happens to be one of them for me.


My fiance and I had the following conversation on Monday...

Amarantha: ouch
Amarantha: but rofl at the "larger, more ferocious" monkeys
Amarantha: *imagines escalation of ever fiercer monkey gangs to deal with the previous mob*
jason@work: hehe exactly...king kong is next
jason@work: "we have no problem with the monkeys's just monkey!"
Amarantha: rofl
Amarantha: now that you mention it, Monkey could take on King Kong
Amarantha: next the place would be overrun by mantra-reciting priests
Amarantha: if they ever actually made it to India... ;P
jason@work: ...


This post Reeks of typical westener ignorance of things that are beyond their level of intelligence. Disappointing from a supposedly "well read" westerner..


Screw the Indians for trying to find a way to coexist with the environment!! How dare they think that this world belongs not just to humans, but to other animals as well. They should just take the American way and raze everything to ground. Who needs trees and animals when you can have ground beef, right??


Don’t spank the Monkey God…just give him your nuts and banana…and maybe he won’t throw you off the balcony!


Excellent, excellent. One of your best posts in recent memory.

And now.. I'm gonna get me some serotonin as well.

monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god monkey god


Why are the Catholics glad that Jesus was crucified and not stoned?

Because then, instead of making the sign of the cross, they'd have to do this: *slap palm of hand repeatedly against forehead*


Knock knock. (Who's there?) Hanuman. (Hanuman who?) Looks like you're going to Hell!


This was waiting to happen. With so many stupid people feeding these monkeys and encouraging them. But then the American way of solving this problem would involve shooting maybe thousands of these monkeys, difficult choice I must say.


"but it can get you killed if the Bajrang Dal (the Right wing extremist group which literally means Hanuman's Army) sees this.."

Darn, I was wrong about the lack of Hindu terrorists (well, I'm sure the percentage of them is smaller... I'll calim to have been statistically right). And they can all read English, too... wonder who will take Scott's place on the Cartoon Throne?

BTW, when are we going to realize that "right wing" and "left wing" don't mean anything? It's either "groups out to take your stuff" or "groups out to leave you" alone... those are the only meaningful distinctions.

Paul - Brazil

hum... i have some trouble with cats and dogs, so it's a good idea to me start training some tigers and wolfs... and if they overcome us... Ligers !!!!

Steven McDaniel

"..So I would just say as celebrity cartoonist, I would expect more restrain from you than average westener..."

Zeya, I think I would be right in supposing you haven't seen many western cartoons, have you?


your deep thought on reincarnation of monkey-hater provoked
a potentially deeper thought on possibility of multiple reincarnations
f.e how you can explain multiple personality disorder
the hypothesis proposed is multiple periincarnating souls could not find suitable carnage and got crowded into one mortal being

monkey magic


Greetings from India - hilarious post, although some of your commenters are behaving very much like the monkeys they mock.

2 things -

1)They call it a funeral in India too
2)Considering that we believe in a Monkey God, we don't get into any arguments over Intelligent Design here, because Darwin's Theory of Evolution simply states we're children of a powerful God.


Monkey gang wars in the inner city sounds like a great concept that no one has explored yet. At least, if someone has, I never heard about it. Plant of the Apes was too epic, not gritty enough. I would sit through a movie as long as the full-length Lord of the Rings trilogy that was purely about monkey gangsters. It would be a day well spent.

Kevin Kunreuther

I have to reply to Zeya that this story has all my Punjabi Sikh friends in hysterics and LOVE Scott Adam's take on the situation.
Apparently you are monkey dancer, and now you have three things to be upset about. You feel mocked and disrespected by Scott Adams, he manipulated your feelings and you allowed him to manipulate you. You have no control.
Peace be with you, friend.

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