Practical Jokes I Wish I Had Played

A reader sent me a link about some students who allegedly had trouble coming out their trances after a hypnotist’s stage act.

http://www.abc4.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=082e7301-203d-470d-a8c1-2e83a2075614

I don’t know what really happened, but as a trained hypnotist, I can assure you that no one had trouble coming out of a trance. My best guess is that a student or two were playing a practical joke that got out of hand.

That is exactly the sort of practical joke I would have played if I were a student and wanted to get out of classes. But I would have put my own twist on it. When I got on stage with the hypnotist, I’d strike a zombie pose and yell “MUST…KILL…GRANDMA…” and then stiff-leg-walk out of the auditorium.

If teachers grabbed me, and they called paramedics, I would stay stiff and zombie-like the whole time, and really try to sell it. When paramedics got me on the gurney, on the way to the ambulance, I’d say stuff like “MUST OBEY HYPNOTIST AND KILL GRANDMA.” The paramedics, having not seen the hypnotist’s act, might assume he really suggested it. They would wonder if they should call the police and close down the entire school until everyone who got that suggestion was deprogrammed.

When I got to the emergency room, and a doctor examined me, I’d stay in zombie mode, arms straight out, crazy eyes. And I’d wait for the doctor to do anything vaguely doctorish, such as tap my knee to check my reflexes. As soon as he did, I’d snap out of it and say, “What happened? Why am I here? Who are you people?”

The next day, when the principal, by now highly suspicious of my trance, started interrogating me, I’d say things like, “Apparently I’m highly suggestible. Can I ride on the short bus?” Or “If you don’t think hypnosis works, why did you waste school money hiring a hypnotist?”

Eventually the principal would inadvertently say the wrong thing, probably in the form of a question such as, “Why did you say, ‘Must kill grandma’?” As soon as he asked the question, I’d snap back into zombie mode and start yelling “MUST…KILL…GRANDMA” again, and stiff-leg-walk out of the office. I can’t imagine ever getting tired of it.

Comments

[Vern Pearl]

"And to think all this time I've been reading the Freudian anthology when I could have been reading this extremely efficient paper weight"

[Benito]

Thanks for the post.

[Andrew Mackenzie]

If you think this stuff is funny - check out Improve Everywhere, where they pretend to have a hypnotist working the crowd, but all the hypnotist volunteers are actors - it's SOOO funny - the audience starts to get upset and tries to help the "victims" - one of the funniest things I've ever seen on the internet.
http://www.improveverywhere.com/2003/10/18/the-amazing-hypnotist-redux/

I'm not associated with them - I just think it's hell of funny along the same lines as "Must Kill Grandma. . . "

[dogbertWorshiper]

Someone said they were hypnotized and remembered everything. Doesn't that deserve special mention in the inDUHvidual hall of infamy? If a person is told not to remember part of the session, then the person won't have any memory of it. Or did I miss something here?

[Fab]

MUST…KILL…GRANDMA...

[Paul Denton]

Can I try this out at my office?

[yatpay]

That punchline was the best!!

Once again I am reminded that I probably shouldn't read this blog during class because of the high likelihood of laughing out loud!

[kman]

I love a good *ball-buster*!

[Kim]

Thanks for the post, most enjoyable :)

[Dave]

Hmmm, I have to look at the religious slant here. Logan Utah... that's strong Mormon country. Now, just to be clear, I am one, so I'm not just out here to bash.

I think there are lots of people in the world who consider themselves deeply religious. I believe that many of these people are lazy when possible. Now, I can speak from experience, that being deeply religious requires one of two things:

1) relatively blind acceptance of what is told to you
2) a great deal of hard work to test, prove/disprove, try, reason, struggle with, etc. to determine if what is told to you is true

I think most deeply religious people these days might well fit into category 1. You believe what you're told, and toe the line, because the people who tell you things, you trust. You're aware that with a lot of work you could come through category 2 and you believe you would have the same result, so you don't make the effort.

I like to think in some ways I've managed to move myself, in a few areas, from category 1 to category 2, particularly religiously speaking. I'm confident with where I am, and I have paid the price to get what I know.

But anyway, back to the real point of this post: are there religions that particularly thrive with category 1 people? If so, are there religions that the membership are particularly prone to being hypnotized? From what I understand about hypnotism, it sounds a lot like, for example, Sunday school...

And to reiterate, this isn't a Mormon-bashing post. I am one. I dig it. It's just a thought. :)

[Alicorn]

JFS in IL said "(added since my posts always seem to show up with someone else's name on them!)"

Okay, let's all look at this together. The name BENEATH the posting is the name of the poster, despite the fact that there is a line between the posting and the name. The name ABOVE any posting is the person who posted the posting ABOVE it.

This is posted by Alicorn. Notice how my name is beneath this comment, right under the line.

Got it now?

[rita mae]

It's Monday and I'm reading the weekend posts.

MUST KILL GRANDMA. No. No. Don't say that. One of my 17 grandkids might get an idea.

Good post, as usual.

Rita Mae

[DF]

If you liked that practical joke, you'll love this one.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2007-10-03-porn-politics_N.htm

[Andy Watt]

"But when a trained biologist says evolution is true, you come up with ideas that theories of extra dimensions may invalidate current belief of experts"

I reckon this obsession with Darwin's theory will never end, only turn into something more sophisticated over time, having started as primeval mental mush...

Every hypnosis show I've ever been to (including the one with the hypnotic black labrador dog, which was hysterical) I've thought what I'd do on stage. I bet the truth is I'd probably be more suggestible that anyone... or the hypnotist would know what to look for and be able to tell I wasn't out of it.

If you're a trained hypnotist Mr A, then tell us what you used to look for to tell when someone was under. Then we can all go out and try out your theory. Although I'd do it without the zombie walk, mind...

[vasco]

-

Whooo, that's a practical joke
i would like to do that...
:D :D

--
http://href.hu/x/2sv1
--

[Mike]

Yeah .. it's all fun and games until you get strapped to the gurney and get a shot of Thorazine in the ass.

[Nomi]

Oh. Wait. Yesterday wasn't Sunday. It was Saturday. Hm. So, this was not a good Sunday post. I take that back.

[Amit]

A Perfect "Scott Adams"ish post. Was just waiting for this one Scott!!!
But just think what happens when the hypnotist himself starts riding on cloud nine.. The best hypnotist ever u know :D

[Erik]

Man, that would be the best practical joke ever! It meets all my criteria for good practical jokes, and not much does:
1. Nobody gets hurt.
2. Nothing gets damaged.
3. Nobody's feelings are hurt, except through their own stupidity.
4. It preys on people's gullibility.

Love it!

[bcammack]

[David wrote: When you say "...but as a trained hypnotist, I can assure you that no one had trouble coming out of a trance" you are sure you are right.
But when a trained biologist says evolution is true, you come up with ideas that theories of extra dimensions may invalidate current belief of experts.]

I believe you are confusing a scientist defending a theory with a trained practitioner expressing experiential understanding.

Nice try, though...

[Kendall]

It's all fun and games until your grandma falls down the stairs and you/the hypnotist get charged with attempted manslaughter.

[Wu Wei]

What's all this grandma-hating about? Dont you know what our grandmas did for this nation? I will never read your blog again. Away with thee! =;-)

[sq]

Best.... Prank.... Ever!

How long do you think they can keep this one under wraps?

[Jules]

Hahaha, that would brighten up every students day at that school.

[workerant]

Ooops, I just killed grandma. See what the power of suggestion can do?