Sleeping Skill

I can take a nap almost anywhere. When I travel, I’m often asleep before the flight takes off. I can even fall asleep in the dentist’s chair waiting for the Novacaine to kick in. At night, I’m asleep in about five minutes.

I wasn’t always that way. Falling asleep is a skill. I’ll tell you my method.

I always start by creating a simple story in my head where something good, and highly unlikely, happens to me. The trick is to focus on something that is more fascinating than your real life. Maybe you are winning a prestigious award, inventing something that changes the world, or being the first person on the scene of an accident involving the Cirque de Soleil and a tanker of chemicals that turn out to be a powerful aphrodisiac. The images should be more attractive than whatever bothersome thoughts would float into your head if you weren’t so busy fantasizing.

After a minute or two of that, I release all controlled thoughts and simply watch what floats by. When my eyes are closed, the part of my brain that interprets vision is apparently still active, because I can see all sorts of random objects drifting by, as if a mall exploded in space. I try to identify and name them as I see them.

Toaster…car…pencil…couch…snow blower, mitten, etc.

The next thing I know, I wake up.

That’s my method. What do you think about when you are trying to sleep?

Comments

[yogiogi]

disappointing to have to come to the site; adds effort and hassle where before there was none

[Mel]

Scott,

Very disappointed by the abridged RSS feeds. Obviously you're only writing this for the money, if, in one week, you've decided to reduce the writing and increase the ad revenue by forcing more visits to this site.

This is enough to make me stop reading your blog. The advantage of RSS feeds is that I get all the blogs I subscribe to into my inbox, rather than having to remember to check their website. You've taken the advantage away, I'm highly disappointed.

I won't be buying your book now. The forced ad revenue should cover some readership, I'm sure.

[Mike]

gaaahhh, change back to full feeds! partials are so annoying! just put your ad in the feed!

[adora]

Me too! I usually fall asleep before the plane takes off. Once I woke up thinking I was already in Tokyo, turned out the plane hasn't taken off yet.
I don't have problem sleeping, but I have problem staying asleep. When I wake up in the middle of the night and trying to fall asleep again, I read blogs or play Tetris.

[Ulisses Adirt]

In black color.

[Arne]

Scott,

please turn the RSS feed back on to full throttle. The summary feed is just an annoyance for people who use feed readers. (Like I do. Furthermore, I'm using an adblocker, so my "forced" visit to the site won't boost ad revenue.) Thanks.

Re. the topic of the post: I also use the story-method, however, it doesn't work anymore for me when I'm to "upset" by real life.

[Harrow]

I've been using 'The Dilbert Principle' to fall asleep.

-Harrow.

[Paul]

Huh... I do the exact same thing, but without the story part. Just watch what floats by and I'm out like a light.

[Brian Night]

Scott, You're the only writer I know who can say he wants to sleep with the entire cast of Cirque de Soleil without actually saying so.

[John]

I like to pretend I'm a giant and squish the people I don't like.

http://awritersblock.com

[Sondra]

"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."

[notralph]

Poor Rita Mae. :( We love you, Rita Mae!

[Bruce Harrison]

It's Cirque DU Soleil, Scott. You must have been half asleep when you wrote that.

[Matt]

Partial RSS feeds? Boo. If you're that bothered about people getting content minus ads, embed them in the feed.

[Christine]

I do nearly the exact same thing. And it works really well.

[Dan]

I try to skip straight to the random objects phase--but I don't name them. Toaster...car...pencil won't work for me. I have too much toaster related anxiety in my waking life. Instead I try to keep them as abstract as possible. Something vaguely cubicle and floating is much less threatening than an actual toaster. And an abstract car is just an endless series of geometric shapes. The subconscious thinks, there's a triangular pyramid. I could calculate it's volume or I could just call it a night. I'm out.

[mewletter]

For me, if I find myself having trouble to sleep, I would often imagine myself in the most boring lecture I ever had and let the 'lecturer' babbling me to sleep.

[woodchuck]

My method is similar to your's except that it's random sounds that I listen to as they drift by. Sometimes I watch the random images, but mostly listen to the sounds. I've noticed that when I'm in this state, my mind can dredge up memories that I didn't even know were still in there, but when they come out, I remember them like it was yesterday. It usually takes only a couple of minutes of this and I'm off to dreamland. If this doesn't work, sex always works good for me (much to my wife's aggrivation, I might add).

BTW: Drop the summary for your RSS feed. I enjoyed being able to read your blog postings directly from my reader. I generally will visit the actual site if I feel compelled to add my own 2 cents, like today. I still enjoy your blog though, good work!

[RavenBlack]

Sex provides a powerful chemical sleep-aid, but failing that, music provides the same sort of irrelevant brain-focus that you use, stopping one from waking oneself up by thinking "oh! Thing X!" every twenty seconds.

[N]

Oh! You truncated the length of the RSS content so we click on your site to read the remainder of the content. Trickster.

You know how studies frequently allege that technology in the bedroom will hinder your efforts to sleep? Well.. I make a point of watching several TV shows before I hit the pillow. I lie recumbent in the bed and usually I'm so sleepy that I don't even wanna pay attention to the characters on the TV, so I eventually get up, close it, and go to sleep.

It pretty much always works. My body's accustomed to falling asleep like this.

[Justin]

Hey, I guess I'm not the only one who fantasizes to get his brain to shut up. The difference is, I just kinda let myself fall into a stupor and listen to the conversations around me: It's odd, it's like the rest of me thats not my ears shuts down. kinda like your eyes, I guess.

[rita mae]

How sweet!

DMENTED gave me some medical advice to take a cayenne pepper capsule with each meal. Don't want to drag this on too long, but I can't do that. I can't have anything like pepper, mustard, hot spices, caffeine, carbonated beferages, foods with too much acid (tomatoes, oranges, etc) because I have a chronic condition called interstitial cystitis. It is like have a bladder infection all the time. I have had it for years, and have had numerous surgeries and medical treatments. There is no medicine left for me to take, and the urologist says when I get to the point that I can't stand the pain anymore, they will remove my bladder and put a bag in my abdomen. Sounds fun doesn't it? On the plus side, I would have no more pain, and I would stand up to drain urine, just like the ex-Marine. (I always try to look on the bright side.)

SEE!! I TOLD EVERYONE I WAS SICK. YOU ALL THOUGHT I WAS JUST TALKING.

That's why I ask all the grandkids when they leave the house "Who loves you" and they say "You do, Grandma" and then I ask them "And where would you be if you felt like Grandma?" and they say "At home in bed, Grandma."

My "jaded ex-policeman recovering alcoholic turned counselor" oldest brother told me long ago not to complain. He said half the people are happy you don't feel good, and the other half don't care.

Sorry if I grossed anybody out, but damn it! I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK. (don't ask about my fibromyalgia, arthritis, chronic sinusitis, disc problems in my spine, etc.)

I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK!

I make myself get up everyday and go to work, and I smile while I'm doing it. The ex-Marine loves me. That's all I need.

Rita Mae

[Leon Tribe]

I'm the kind of guy that gives up on newspaper articles if I have to jump to page 46 to continue reading. I expect my newspapers to be contiguous. Similarly, for me, the whole point of the RSS feed is so I don't have to open up a new window.

Your readership will die with this tactic as will your viral influence. It is like printing the first two panels of Dilbert and having a link for the third linked to ads. Too much effort for this little black duck. I probably won't unsubscribe in case you switch back to full feed but I'm not opening up IE, waiting for the load only to find its a conservative, dishwater dull meandering as previously suggested by your good self.

Remember that the ones who complain simply care enough to say something with the hope of influencing you, but do not care enough to unsubscribe. Most people are quite content and couldn't care less if you talk about poor foreign policy, free will or theories on restaurants. Mess with the formula and the majority will walk. You are going down the path of "New Coke" and don't realise.

Good luck with the money making thing. Hope it works out for you.

[Arthur]

Finally forced to come to your site instead of reading through my feed. Dangit. The surprising thing is that there are only two ads here. Do you really generate that much ad income from two ads? Not to mention that one of them says, "Wanted: Women 25 to 55." I can't say for sure, but I think that demographic isn't very highly represented in your readership. Perhaps the reason this blog is generating negative income is because you aren't properly utilizing it. By the way, you can also put ads into your feed, which I think is a better alternative to forcing people to come to the site. The people who use feeds do so for a reason, and you're likely to lose future readers (although I'm sure right now you're experiencing an increase in site visits, because your loyal readers have been forced to come to the site). Anyways, all this to say, I don't think you should blog less or change anything, except for finding a better way for this blog to make money. It's way too popular to be losing you money. Whatever, I'm done.

[craig]

Getting to sleep at night is EASY. It is staying asleep that is tough. I tried your technique early this morning, but it didn't work. I will try it again the next several mornings, though. Thanks for the suggestion.