Reuters reports that a student bought a second-hand couch at a store and later found inside it a baroque painting from the early sixteen hundreds that sold for $27,660. I assume the student was looking for a place to hide her Picasso, and discovered that all the good places were already taken.
http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSN3118740220071031
This raises many questions. On the top of my list is “How many people have sat on that couch and farted into that painting?” I’m guessing the painting would have fetched a lot more if it didn’t smell like popcorn.
You wouldn’t want to buy that painting, proudly display it on your wall, and also have me as a friend. I don’t think I could leave it alone. I’d be all “That one guy’s face seems a little faded. It must have been at ground zero.” Or “I love that painting. What couch did it come from?”
And if the buyers made the mistake of inviting me to sit in their living room, I would go straight to their couch, let out a thunderous fart, and say something like “I hope I didn’t damage your Renoir.”
Second, who hides a baroque painting in a couch? When I want to hide my valuables, I hardly ever think of using the upholstered furniture. That’s why my watch is sewed inside my cat, in a fake bladder. I got that idea from those fake rocks where you keep your keys. As soon as the fur grows back over her zipper, I’m golden.
The student who found the painting must have been quite the optimist. Personally, after I hit five or six dry holes in my couch, I stop looking for artwork. But not this plucky student. She went for baroque.
Speaking of dry holes, I should have stopped this post one joke sooner.
older people get dementia and stick all kinds of things (usually valuables) in all kinds of places...
my neighbor's mother died, and about halfway through loading the truck with thrift-store-bound furniture, they had to unload everything since they discovered she'd been stuffing cash into everything that was hollow. Clocks, console radios, TVs, furniture, etc.
Posted by: Will Von Wizzlepig | November 05, 2007 at 12:24 PM
LOL @ "I hope I didn't damage your Renoir." That made my day.
Posted by: WendyB | November 04, 2007 at 12:16 PM
My first reaction was, "That beat up couch cost $150 euro? What the? Isn't Ikea from Europe?"
I saw the picture somewhere, it's got like 8-12 holes with duct tape all over. Someone else had punched holes in it and fail to find the painting before this person got lucky.
Posted by: adora | November 03, 2007 at 12:18 PM
Golden!
Posted by: Peh | November 03, 2007 at 06:35 AM
I one time sat in gum while using the teeter-totter in the 2nd grade...This story is alot better.
http://awritersblock.com
Posted by: John | November 03, 2007 at 04:27 AM
Scott Adams: "Speaking of dry holes..."
Oddly enough that comment would have applied even better to yesterdays story of a man having sex with a bicycle.
Posted by: Michael Chastain | November 02, 2007 at 03:25 PM
Did you hear about the art thief who got caught just a block from the Louvre after a heist? He was so Barouque, he had no Monet to make the Van Gogh . . . Hardy Har Har!!!
Posted by: Matt Brown | November 02, 2007 at 01:43 PM
Thats nuts, imagine that when she finds that kind of thing in her couch!
Posted by: Offbeat News | November 02, 2007 at 10:21 AM
Dang. I just went through two sofas, four chairs, and three mattresses, about a dozen pillows, my wife's antique grandfather clock, her Chihuahua and several other places and didn't find much. The only exciting thing was a gun duct taped in the tank of the toilet.
Posted by: me | November 02, 2007 at 09:16 AM
"She's not baroque, she's got Monet" Adam
Now that was FUNNY!
Posted by: Steven McDaniel | November 02, 2007 at 06:44 AM
You forgot the last line on your blog: "Talking about students, paintings and couches, don't forget to buy my new book." I kind of felt compelled to complete the blog for you. How about this for a recommendation to put on the back cover?: "Stick to writing books about comics, monkey brains!"
Posted by: Steven McDaniel | November 02, 2007 at 06:36 AM
Hmm... if art masterpieces are hidden in old couches...
I wonder what other secrets lie lurking out there in the dust-bunny underworld?
(Did anyone think of really checking out Sadam's couch when they went looking for WOMDs?)
Posted by: broacher | November 02, 2007 at 05:57 AM
It appears that I forgot. don't you have some sort of book out now?
Posted by: John E | November 02, 2007 at 05:29 AM
FYI: there's about 200 years between baroque (1600-1750) and Pablo Picasso (1881-1973) who's works were really anything but baroque.
Posted by: Tom | November 02, 2007 at 05:18 AM
"I have a Picasso in my underpants." (<-- joke stolen directly from Howard Stern)
Posted by: Bromond | November 02, 2007 at 05:13 AM
Well, I guess now that he has what he wanted out of this blog (book), it's time to kick back and relax.
C'mon uncle Scott, please please MAKE THE MONKEYS DANCE SOME MORE.
Posted by: eD | November 02, 2007 at 04:28 AM
Adam said: "She's not baroque, she's got Monet."
This is quite impressionist.
Posted by: Dan | November 02, 2007 at 04:18 AM
IT is 75 years to the day...something to do with Groucho Marx. I missed most of the item on the radio, but the bit I did hear, an excerpt of Groucho's radio programme, was ace!
Posted by: Mike B | November 02, 2007 at 02:10 AM
Dear Scott,
did you hear about the virus/trojan that attacks Macs when their users log onto porn sites?
Apparently there is currently no way to stop that virus.
Sorry for not including a url where you can find the story, other than in German
http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/tech/0,1518,514860,00.html
Kind of hard to comment that, other than: They are being led around by their dicks...
Have a great day, Mike
Posted by: Michael | November 02, 2007 at 12:53 AM
Dude, don't let the meat loaf.
Posted by: The Sound of KOINK | November 02, 2007 at 12:05 AM
I'm going broke trying to go for baroque.
Posted by: Aditya Simha | November 01, 2007 at 11:54 PM
i love you man
Posted by: Matthew Kovich | November 01, 2007 at 10:00 PM
This isn't totally off-topic, since you mentioned farting twice.
Special underwear defuses flatus
Dr. W. Gifford-Jones , Special to The Windsor Star
Published: Thursday, November 01, 2007
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=af28b84d-b411-475d-af6d-6eb8f5895994&k=4281
There's also a hard-hitting exposé about why men dribble so much urine on the floor beneath urinals. They recommend painting a house fly on the sweetspot of urinals' parabolic dishes on the assumption that no male can resist a target like that.
http://www.canada.com/topics/bodyandhealth/story.html?id=baa5df5e-476f-41f2-870e-16f1de04af72
I hope you aren't afraid of Billo'Reilly calling you French if you read Canadian newspapers.
Posted by: Cassandra | November 01, 2007 at 08:50 PM
Can't go wrong with a blog riddled with fart jokes. x3
Quite the story too, you sure stumble across some interesting things.
Posted by: Rickie | November 01, 2007 at 08:28 PM
I believe it's inspired by remote controls that always seem to vanish into couches.
Posted by: Kelvin | November 01, 2007 at 08:27 PM