What Happens in Vegas

I’m in Las Vegas this morning, to give a speech a to a few thousand technology workers. Last night, I did an AV check and tried to get back to my room without losing all the money in my wallet. I started optimistically, but it was all downhill after that.

The path to my room was cleverly littered with attractive slot machines. I don’t enjoy gambling, but I feel obligated to rationalize my decision to not be a Quaker. So I stuffed a twenty in a Wheel of Fortune slot machine and tapped a lighted button ten times while watching the 20 to turn into a 0. It took less than half a minute. I did a quick mental check, and no endorphins had kicked in, so I decided to call it a night.

By the time I got to my room, I was thirsty, and a nearby Coke machine beckoned. A Diet Coke would set me back $2.75. Somehow that seemed like a bargain. I couldn’t afford to go back to the casino and get free drinks. I stuffed a five into the slot and hit the button for Diet Coke. Jackpot!

When the machine pooped out that Diet Coke, I felt like a winner for the first time in Las Vegas. Granted, I was purchasing twelve cents worth of plastic and sugar water for $2.75, but I tried to not see it that way. Best yet, my change clanged down a chute like a cash payout.

But here’s the evil genius part. Instead of a cup-like receptacle for my change, the dispenser was designed more like a launcher. The coins hit the bottom and shot up and out of the machine. A quarter hit the ground and rolled under the Coke machine. That bastard! My Diet Coke just went to $3.00. Another coin, a shiny dollar featuring some Native American chick named Sasquatch, if I recall my history, hit the carpet and made a run down the hallway. That’s when I noticed that the carpet design was a bunch of round spots exactly the size and color of a Sasquatch coin. And suddenly my Diet Coke cost $4.00. Never have I seen such a well-conceived marriage of carpet and soda dispenser. Next year I’m bringing my metal detector.

I ordered room service because I couldn’t trust myself outside the room again.

Comments

[jackline]

i would like to hear more and more of this everyday.
It makes smile atleast even in my gloomy mood

[Jared Kells]

I noticed you stopped publishing your entire stories over RSS . Now I have to look at the adds :(

[raj]

:) somehow this reminds me of Dilbert, things always ending in the worst possible manner!

[Allen Anderson]

Scott, you know Sasquatch is just another name for Big-foot (the large, hairy native-american monster with big feet). Tell me, on average how much do you make a year?

[kunal]

I love your blog and that's why I follow it regularly. I hate to see partial feeds in my feed reader but I feel cheated. I know its not the right reaction but the internet has made me feel like that :). I hope you change your feed back to full. Even if you don't, I will continue following the blog.

[Sean Arenas]

First, to the person who said:
>> Scott has turned evil by giving us partial feeds!
>> UNCOOL.

Personally, I'm surprised he didn't do it long ago. I do get the Blog in a reader (the google one he mentioned, as a matter of fact!) but I only use it as an indicator to let me know when he's made a new post. I *always* went to the Blog site anyhow to read it here.

It looks cleaner and comes out formatted the way Scott meant it, not the way some reader interprets it. The minute (and sometimes not minute) changes may not be noticeable to you, but they are to me.

I think Scott needed to make that change in order to make this daily effort of his into a money-making venture. I'm glad he did it.

Second!
I've seen many soda machines which return money that way.

This goes down on my list of Things That The Creators Never Actually Used. They obviously don't have a machine like this dispensing soda in the factory that made them - if they did, they'd realize how lame that is and fix it, right? Or maybe it's actually (as Scott intimates) intentional.

[Mike]

Ah, room service, the other way to get you to pay $15 for a $2 burger.

[Sonrisa]

What's the big deal about ads vs. no ads? I don't even realize they are there most of the time...

[Steven McDaniel]

I blocked your ads using Firefox's built in ad blocker. NO MONEY FOR YOU MONKEY BRAIN :) David Grayson

Dipsticks like this make the world go round

[Ajay]

Sheep

[12angrymonkeys]

Play the penny or nickle slots next time, it takes alot longer to lose twenty bucks that way.

[twounicycles]

One for the blog ?

http://www.boston.com/news/world/africa/articles/2007/11/29/sudan_charges_teacher_in_teddy_bear_case_revenge_seen_as_motive/

[Anthony]

Just as long as you don't partially feed the first two frames of the cartoon on to RSS feed - then I'll be ok.

Re:Partial feed of the Blog, I can live with not reading your ranting if it doesn't get me. It will however sharpen your headline writing skills won't it ! Watch your click-throughs soar on boring headlines...

[RavenBlack]

Wah, you aren't providing free entertainment in the form that I am used to and now it requires a tiny modicum of effort on my part. Now I'm going to make empty threats about no longer reading your words in a form that never benefited you in any way, which you will be very concerned about not only because it wouldn't affect you but also because I won't actually follow through on the threat anyway. Also I will be suing you with internet lawyers.

[Enough Wealth]

I can't believe the number of losers who go to all the effort of coming to this blog just to comment that they're pissed off about getting partial RSS feeds that force them to come to this blog....

Regards
http://enoughwealth.com

[Amol]

So you have learned from the comments and are giving away only the first few lines on RSS feeds. I always come to your blog and don't use feeds. So this did not make any difference to me per se. But it was interesting reading some comments.

I am happy that even after you decided to blog less, you are blogging daily. I enjoy reading your blogs. Please continue the daily dose!

[Elisa]

Scott!

This is your best post ever! Made me laugh out loud. You're terrific!

[Zhang]

I have never gambled in a casino. In China, openly gambling is illegal, except in Macau,a special district of our country(it is a long story).Anyway, some Chinese people still gamble in all sorts of way, day and night, straight untill they went broke. In that sense, we are moist robots (I belive a little bit of your theory). So I did my best to aviod any form of gambling. I had the fear that once a certain switch was click inside my body, I'll end up sitting at the street with my underpant.

Yesterday, I try your sleeping method, I imagined something good happened to me, and I ended up getting too excited so I can not fall asleep,plus the baby would stop crying. Shouldn't have trusted you, Scott.

[Raman VikramAdith]

Scott has turned evil by giving us partial feeds!

UNCOOL.

[Luke]

I want to know if you scrounged the carpet looking for that lost coin. And if not you, was it a couple of money hungry gamblers fighting for it?

http://thisdevilsworkday.wordpress.com/

[David Grayson]

I blocked your ads using Firefox's built in ad blocker. NO MONEY FOR YOU MONKEY BRAIN :)

[Carolina]

Hahaha I love the stories on your blog, and am sincerely happy you're not just quitting. Quitting is for losers ;D

Also: don't think we haven't noticed what you've done. Oh, we know. You've learnt the trickery of RSS feeding haven't you? Did you think we wouldn't realise? That we'd think it was all a big coincidence, that the day after you mention that the ad hits aren't particularly high because so many people read your blog from RSS feeds, your RSS feeds also change in format so that you can't read it all? Well done.

Clever, Mr. Adams. Touche.

You're just 'lucky' that your writing is so damn good that I just have to come back. Otherwise, you'd be in for many angry, anonymous letters. You know, the kind that uses different words to say the same thing, or similar expressions.

[jim]

Partial rss feeds are boring.. Makes me click on a link which is like way too much work for me :( .. Can I get the whole blog in the feed itself... Promise I will buy some dilbert memorabilia next time I hit the jackpot in Vegas !!

[Kevin Kunreuther]

my gold dollars has John Adams and George Washington on it ... somewhere in Vegas is a carpet full of dead metal presidents.

[Tom Banjo]

I am way ahead on lifetime gambling revenues. Born Lucky.
(if we just don't count events in the state of Nevada.)