I take pride in small accomplishments. For example, I have always been proud that I could take any medicine, no matter how awful, without complaining. This is an extension of my greater power of liking, or at least tolerating, almost any food taste. It’s a gift. Recently, I met my match.
The other day, I felt a possible cold coming on, and started looking through the drawer where we keep all our meds, to see if we had one of those cold preventive pills, with the zinc in them. I recalled reading that they work. And placebo or not, they seemed to work for me in the past.
I found in the drawer a type of medicine my wife had purchased that I hadn’t seen before. It was a chewable pill, about the size of a very thick quarter. It would take some time to work through it, but it was no obstacle to the man who could take any medicine. I popped it in my mouth and started working.
At first it was pleasant, citrus-like. But the flavor just kept coming. It went from mild to strong in about ten seconds. By half a minute, it was so intense my eyes were watering, and I had only chewed about 10% of this pill. I started to worry.
A minute into it, it was so intense I thought I was going to puke, literally. I ran to the kitchen sink to spit it out, but gave it a few more seconds to see if I could get through it. No medicine had beaten me yet, and I wasn’t going to go down easy. The waves of nausea blew over me, and I knew one of them was going to put me over the edge. It was time to bail. I spit the rest of the pill into the sink, defeated.
Later, I blamed it on having just brushed my teeth. You know how sometimes particular foods are awful if you just brushed? I figured that was the problem. So the next day, determined, I took another run at it. This time I made sure I hadn’t brushed in the past hour. It started out better, I thought, but it ended with me slumped over the bathroom sink, eyes watering, trying to suppress the retching. I gazed at the half eaten pill dissolving in the drain, beaten. It was a lonely feeling.
I mentioned this defeat to my wife, Shelly. She informed me that the pills aren’t actually pills at all. They are designed to be dissolved in a tall glass of water, like Alka Seltzer.
I worry that this event undercut the aura of infallibility I have been cultivating in my marriage.
Vomiting / Nausea is your body trying to tell you that..
YOU SHOULDN'T BE EATING THIS!
:P
Posted by: Nat | January 29, 2008 at 10:46 AM
The absolute worse is the Zicam liquid Cold & Flu medicine:
http://www.zicam.com/Category.aspx?eid=8
Each dose comes in it's own disposable spoon, and the directions say you can either take it straight or mix it into a beverage. Believe me, there is no beverage strong enough to cover up the extremely nasty taste of this product. I was almost ready to gag before I finished the whole drink, and I'm pretty tolerant when it comes to taking medicine. Next time, I'm sticking to Nyquil capsules.
Posted by: CrouchingBruin | January 15, 2008 at 03:13 PM
I did the same thing the other day with an Airborne...
I knew you were supposed to dissolve them in water but:
1. I didn't feel like getting up for a glass of water.
2. I wanted to see if I could bare the experience.
.... It wasn't half bad, you just gotta man up Adams.
Posted by: Jon | January 09, 2008 at 07:52 AM
You did remember to ask your wife whether she agreed about that aura of infallability thing, didn't you? Otherwise, you may be in for yet another surprise. It is one of those things that happen when you get married.
//Johan
Posted by: Johan Hjelm | January 06, 2008 at 08:34 PM
Don't see it as a mistake. Explain to your wife you were simply testing out that famous paradox "what happens if the worlds toughest guy has to take the worlds toughest medicine." It works every time or your money back.
Posted by: Shaun | January 06, 2008 at 05:49 PM
[...are designed to be dissolved in a tall glass of water, like Alka Seltzer.]
If it's Airborne you are talking about, you can use just a wee little bit of water - one sips worth!
Posted by: FYI | January 02, 2008 at 05:16 AM
Just returned from my vacation...
wish you a very happy new year!!
have a nice one!
Posted by: [email protected] [email protected] | January 02, 2008 at 03:11 AM
Did you take a look at the tablet cover? Maybe it was one of those "just-swallow-it" tablets.
Posted by: Venky | January 02, 2008 at 12:41 AM
i have been reading stuff of a guy who cannot read?? when did you move to being an Induhvidual? not a good start to new year i can tell you.
Posted by: V N Saroja | January 01, 2008 at 11:47 PM
See what several years of animal testing leeds to? By then even the most stupid ape knows how to take that pill.
Next in line is the human, the superior one... *evil grin*
Posted by: roel | January 01, 2008 at 10:22 PM
Congratulations on a great blog!
Here is my contribution to make it even better!
Millions of readers have been helped by the famous "Babylonian parables, " hailed as the greatest of all inspirational works on the subject of thrift, financial planning, and personal wealth. In language as simple as that of the Bible, these fascinating and informative stories set you on a sure path to prosperity and its accompanying joys. Acclaimed as a modern day classic, this celebrated bestseller offers an understanding of - and solution to - your personal financial problems that will guide you through a lifetime. This is the book that holds the secrets to acquiring money, keeping money, and making money earn more money.
We give you for free to download acopy from http://w13.easy-share.com/13751041.html (471 KB)
Posted by: Santa Claus | January 01, 2008 at 09:58 PM
Great blog! Please visit ProxyCop.info
Happy new years!!
Posted by: Nikola | January 01, 2008 at 09:28 PM
Scott,
Happy, Happy 2008! Hearty wishes for you and your family.
Posted by: Muthu Ramadoss | January 01, 2008 at 09:20 PM
I knew something was wrong the moment you said it was about the size and shape of a quarter.
Because of you, this drug manufacturer will now have to include a little drawing of a person putting the tablet directly in his mouth, with a big red X over the picture. It would be an honor to know you're the one whose disaster made them put a mysterious, yet intriguing warning on the label. (DO NOT feed them after midnight! Why - what happens if I do?)
I used to think I could tolerate any kind of food taste too - if it were something that large numbers of other people had eaten for centuries and found to be non-toxic. But I haven't ever been able to handle okra. The taste is fine, but the texture feels so slimy it's like eating mucus.
Chewable baby aspirin was the most I could endure in the realm of bad-tasting medicines. I was definitely a wimp there.
Posted by: Nicole | January 01, 2008 at 09:03 PM
Happy New year Scott
SCott - 0 , Mrs Scott 1
Whaty a way to start the year ( a self goal )
Posted by: Shady | January 01, 2008 at 07:56 PM
You're lucky your wife doesn't see you as a total liability.
Posted by: Andy Coulter | January 01, 2008 at 07:42 PM
Don't worry, the dog shit story gave you enough "infalibility" credit to compensate for this one, hahaha!
Actually it turns out most of women (including my wife) think of these little mishappens as "cute", so it's good for me to pull one of these every now and then.
A couple of times I was coming back home, and I was reading and walking at the same time. It's an ability you need to work on for a while, but now I manage to avoid dogshits, traffic lights and other dangerous obstacles that could hit me in sensible areas.
Anyway, while my abilities allow me to avoid immediate obstacles, the overall route is traced by my automatic pilot, he just knows the way by force of habit. The problem is when the book is so interesting the automatic pilot also starts reading. So for a couple of times I found myself going into our neighbours appartemnt. Luckily they are nice people.
Posted by: Ferran | January 01, 2008 at 06:13 PM
great post, scott
Posted by: joshua holmes | January 01, 2008 at 05:44 PM
Happy 2008 Scott and hope you feel better by now
Posted by: Ricky | January 01, 2008 at 05:16 PM
Buddy, you don't know what a bad taste is until you try valerian root. It has been charitably described as "sock stink with rotten cheese."
It's in a capsule, but your burp will be sheer hell. You trying chewing on this horror; and somehow, it's available as a TEA, which I cannot believe anyone could drink without wretching.
And I thought the smell of witchhazel was a vile bad tequila smell.
Posted by: Jake | January 01, 2008 at 04:21 PM
I guessed it was Airborne too. My mom is kind of obsessed with the stuff. I'm not sure it does anything but often take it to make her feel better (and because I actually like the way it tastes dessolved). I imagine after trying to eat one normally you would have lost all taste for the dissolved form. Also: Zinc will make you throw up if you OD on it or take it on an empty stomach. Airborne isn't all Zinc to it's not likely to make you throw up on an empty stomach but I used to take straight Zinc just as a supplement to help acne and digestion and if you take it on an empty stomach it WILL make nauseous and very likely make you throw up (This has happened to me after taking a tiny 10mg pill).
Posted by: Hannah | January 01, 2008 at 03:53 PM
I think your "auro of infallability" may be safe, but now you just look like a dick for taking medicine without reading the instructions...
...remember kiddies, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!
Posted by: Tutu | January 01, 2008 at 03:42 PM
Hahaha, the source of your "aura of infallibility" is still there.
Well, however, that thing isn't neither a medicine, neither magic, I agree is lot easier to take an oportune pill than to eat regularly a variety of fruits and fresh vegetables with (my own recipe of) an special shake at the mentioned first symptoms, but for what I know and believe I say it is for sure more safe. It is not a bit exagerated the american culture of the pill?
Happy new year, sincere best wishes for you, your family and all the blog readers.
Posted by: T.G. | January 01, 2008 at 03:28 PM
I did that once with Air-borne on a dare. It burned. I swore the devil himseld laid an egg on my tounge.
http://www.awritersblock.com
Posted by: John | January 01, 2008 at 02:33 PM
There are a couple of comments about garbagemen collecting garbage on a holiday. I don't know about where you live, but garbage is collected on holidays in my Shire. The garbagemen love it - Triple Time overtime for Public Holidays.
Posted by: Christopher | January 01, 2008 at 02:17 PM