Uncool Labels

My brother argues that society should stop making bad behavior sound cool. Terrorists, gang-bangers, and serial killer are all evil, but on some level you have to admit those are cool labels.

If you want to inhibit a particular behavior, a good rule of thumb is this: Don’t give it a label that would work equally well as a band name.

For example, the media tried to change “suicide bomber” to “homicide bomber,” thinking that was more descriptive and less altruistic sounding. But you can easily imagine a punk rock band called the Homicide Bombers.

Granted, it’s difficult to come up with any name that wouldn’t work as a rock band, but I think you’d agree that a band called the Homicide Bombers would have an easier time getting a new drummer than a band called, for example, Tiffany’s Pimple.

So how can we relabel terrorists to make their activity less cool sounding? I realize that terrorists don’t call themselves terrorists. They think of themselves as martyrs or freedom fighters or whatnot. But you know they watch the media to see how their actions are being received. That’s the whole point.

My brother suggests calling terrorists “dingleberries,” as in “Troops wiped out a nest of dingleberries in a part of the world now commonly known as Earth’s Anus.”

Can you top that?

Comments

[Metroplexual]

It was not the "media" that tried Homicide Bombers, it was Faux News that did.

[tyler]

Oh my god! You killed Asok!

You Bastard!

[jason]

ASOK! Thank god you can clone him... Can't you?

[Peter]

We could call them "small penises" (and never capitalize it). I'm sure we could do an acronym, like, T.U.R.D or I.D.I.O.T. I'll leave it to others to figure out what each letter stands for. Actually, the letters don't have to stand for anything, we'll just tell everyone it's classified.

Peter

[Bulbboy]

Nu-Nus,

Plobbles

or

Donny Tourette fans.

[Raskolnikov]

Say, why is it that a teacher can get death threats for naming a teddy bear "Mohammed", but the Car Talk guys say "Mohammed Hammada Hammada" every week and yet they still live?

[Enough Wealth]

Do not call them anything.

Ignore them.

Do not report on their activities.

Like school bullies, paying them attention only encourages them.

Regards
http://enoughwealth.com

[Jabba]

Sundried Turnips.

[Shalene Boring]

How about we name the 'cool labels' after something cute, fluffy, or otherwise harmless? It just doesn't have the same impact... "A bouquet of purple pansies struck an unsuspecting populace today..." See, no where near as cool sounding :-) This could really catch on! Just tell the Republicans that they are classified code words to confuse friend and foe alike. Don't tell the Democrats anything if you want it to get done. This way they can plead ignorance when the inevitable equal rights complaints come up. The pansies (aka Terrorists) have rights to not be mocked too! This way everyone is happy.

[anon]

I cannot believe you killed of Asok!! Please please tell me he will be coming back :(

[mikey]

How about something simple and to the point like "dumbass". That's what always pops into my mind. And it's hard for me to believe that the word dumbass could ever be cool. For those that believe Islam has been twisted or misinterpreted, we might use "deluded muslim". And for the suicide bombers I like "psychotic virgin". It's insulting and a bit humurous, although I like it for a band name.

[anon]

You killed Asok?? YOU BASTARD!!!!!!

[Juan Carlo Rodríguez]

I suggest "puticles". Not even a real word. And that's because "putriscence" was already taken.

And on a side note...

Dude, what gives? You killed Asok????!!!!

[Ashwin]

I wonder what the implication of these 'uncool' labels are on the people whose lives are dedicated to weeding out dingleberries, lets say.
Imagine being a part of an 'anti-dingleberry squad' or being called 'anti-dingleberrism' expert.

[twounicycles]

Sorry Chris Hehman, w.r.t.

"Evil Cowards

Accurate and uncool without being juvenile. No punk band would call themselves the Cowards."

Chris Wallbank & The Cowards are a band from Wolverhampton, England.

[Richard Hare]

Your brother needs to take over this blog.

[jerry w.]

How about "Law Schol Dropouts", not even smart enough to be a lawyer.

Or:

"Family Circle", a worthless collection of crap if there ever was one.

And the worst of those a-holes? "Circle Jerks" comes (sorry) to mind.

http://boskolives.wordpress.com/

[McBeth]

I spoke to a woman who answered my mechanic's phone when I called yesterday. My son, who has been waiting and waiting to get his snow tires mounted to his rickety vehicle can't find anyone to help him w/o an appointment and I was trying to help him find a shop and a time slot.

What I meant to say was, "My son is being a dingbat", but the words that came out of my mouth to this completely stranger were, "My son is being a dingleberry". Neither is all that flattering, but one is more accurate and is def. better than the other.

She laughed and laughed.

I secretly hope my son will not go to that mechanic in case someone there is still giggling about it and might bring it up again, ("hoooboy wasn't that funny when his own mother called him a dingleberry? hahaha")

[Adrian D.]

"I kind of liked Bill Clinton's name for terrorists:

"Evil Cowards

"Accurate and uncool without being juvenile. No punk band would call themselves the Cowards."

Accurate? For the masterminds who keep themselves nice and safe, maybe. For the people sacrificing their lives for a cause they think is right, not at all. Mind you, *I* don't agree with their cause, but I do know that they are conned by the charmers into thinking their religion and way of life is being threatened by outsiders.

I suppose it is easier to dehumanize those you don't like in the way you describe. If the terrorists couldn't do that, their actions would stop.

[aiwn]

Scott: finally another lought-out-loud entry, thank you very much!
Bruce Harrison: thanks for your comment that added the icing on scott's cake! absolutely brilliant!

[Jon Z]

In reference to Jello Biafra and his list of band names, there was one that has stuck with me for decades..."Jehovah's Rifle Cream". Brilliant!

If I ever started a band, I wanted to use that for the name.

[Tim]

how about Dog-bothering-wanker-scum, don't think you'd get any bands using it.

[Clinton Jammer]

How about 'Gullible Coward'?

[Vikram]

you killed asok? :(

[Sarah_from_WaggaWagga]

The label "Earth's Anus" has almost been taken by Australia. Our (former) Prime Minister, Paul Keating, called Oz "the arse end of the world".