May 2008

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1st Joke: A mom comes downstairs and says to her two children what do you want for breakfast? The one says a pissing egg, the mom goes you what? The child says a pissing egg, she slaps him round the head and says to the other one, what do you want for breakfast? And he goes well i dont want a pissing egg!!!

2nd Joke: Why did the one eyed monster close the school?
Because he only had one pupil!




A man with no arms walks into a day spa with his thingy hanging out of his pants. The woman behind the desk notices this and says "Sir this isn't that kind of massage parlor." He says I know but my brother likes to pull practical jokes on me. The woman then replies "From the looks of things the joke has nothing to do with what your brother did to you."

Two men who happen to be gay are talking to each other about sex with women. The first guy says, "I could have sex with women but I choose to have sex with men." The other guy says, "Wait a minute are saying what I think you are saying?" The first guy then replies, "Well, straight men could have sex with other men but they choose to have sex with women, right?" The other guy then says, "Dude that's not cool to explain it in a way that makes sense. We are special because we are gay and better than everyone else. We need an edge false or not."


i havent been able to see the vid .. but i read the comments which say the video is abt a guy with the biggest balls.

and just yesterday i had a random thought abt googling for 'biggest balls' just out of curiosity. not kidding.

even you posted abt getting glimpses into our futures now and then, today.

whats more, i saw unbreakable earlier today where Sam Jackson convinces Bruce Willis that they're both part of the same curve, only different ends.

i know this sounds lame, but i am kind of enjoying writing this, thinking abt this and watching the mth rerun of the nth version of Carrie now on TV.

burrrp! golly this post was fun. in a long time too!


You meant that the joke was that there was never a youtube punchline in the first place? I hope that was not it.


What did the goat eat for dessert?

junk food.

You're Welcome

Here ya go... have fun. This is the real video Scott was talking about.


The most underpaid guy in the world is the one that lifts up that big nutsack. I have a lot of friends, but friendship has its limits.


I think, given the title of the post, he wanted us to finish the joke. Hence, "write your own joke". Maybe he also wanted to see how many people will try to solve things and how many people will just complain and expect things to be fixed for them.

So here's my attempt:
Realizing the vagueness of his pointing, she makes his posterior grow to gargantuan sizes. Unable to move, he remarks, "You've made an ass out of me!"


Cristin--there's a delay since these posts are moderated. Since Scott posted that he had limited access until Monday, he couldn't approve these earlier. That's why there's 40 post saying the video was removed.

Apparently, though, all submissions get posted, even if they are repeats 'cause Scott's just making sure that there isn't anything he could be held liable for posted here.

Ray Kremer

"How can this many people fail to read a handful of previous comments? I mean, you have to SCROLL THROUGH THEM to add your own comment!"

Because they are moderated. All submissions go into a queue and don't appear on the web until Scott approves them. So all new blog entries are without comments for a while. For instance, I'm probably the tenth person to answer this for you.


Use one of the "deleted youtube" services out there.

Josh Meyer

This is obviously one of Scott's experiments to see how many people would comment with OMG!!!The video's been removed!


How can this many people fail to read a handful of previous comments? I mean, you have to SCROLL THROUGH THEM to add your own comment!

Next time someone asks who I'd most like to have with me in a desert island/survival situation, I'll have to remember to exclude anyone who reads Dilbert...


Apparently you can see the video if you Google for "Two girls one cup" or "rickroll me now".

Otherwise I assume the genie was able to keep herself safe for half an hour by standing on the end of his new gift. . .


Maybe that's the joke. The guy got a "Terms of use violation."
It's funny.


Has the video been removed? It seems to have been removed. Why is it not there. Was it a "Terms of Use" violation. That's what it says. I wonder if that was the reason. I wonder what term of use was violated? Perhaps someone at YouTube took it off. I think that's what happened. It's not there. It's gone. The video was there once, then gone, then back again, now it's gone again. Geez, that makes me sad. Wish I'd seen it. I bet it was good.

Did I mention it's been removed?

(Gawd, what a waste of time this thread has been. The video's been removed.)


This was the video, Einsteins:


This was the video, Einsteins:


This was the video, Einsteins:


Helm, I believe it was a man with a testicular growth, or some other sort of testicular abnormality. Click my name for another similar video.

Matt P

I saw the video, and I kind of threw up in my mouth a little bit. The beans part of his franks and beans were HUGE. To add context (if no one else has by the time this posts), the video was of what looked like a villager from a 3rd world county with a horrific case of elephantitis of the testicles. He even had a guy to push the huge nads up into his hut. It was apparently not fake, as they showed him stand up and the skin STRETCH. Ug, you that didn't see it were probably the lucky ones...


Now that we have firmly established that the video was removed -- WHAT WAS IT ABOUT? Can we have a synopsis? A sock-puppet re-enactment?


p.s. -- just to add SOME value to this thread --

A man and his beautiful young wife were playing golf, when the husband hit a stupendous drive that sliced off the course, and smashed through the window of a house. They ran to the house and knocked, with no answer. Observing that the side door was ajar, they crept inside, and saw a man in a bathrobe sitting in a chair rubbing his head. ON the floor was what looked like a very old vase, now broken; next to that was their golf ball.

The husband said, "Oh, I'm so sorry, sir -- did my ball hit you on the head?"

The man replied, "Why, no; in fact, I owe you both my gratitude. I've been trapped in that vase for hundreds of years until you knocked it off the shelf. I'm a genie!"

The young wife said, "A genie? So, does that mean we get three wishes?"

"Well, yes. One for you, and one for your husband; but I'm saving the third wish for myself."

The couple traded glances as if to say, that's more than fair. The wife went first. "I've always envied the family that lives on the end of the block -- their home is huge, and it's so beautifully decorated! Now it's on the market, but it's more expensive than we could possibly afford."

"When you get home, you will find a deed for that house on your kitchen table, paid for in full. And you, sir?"

"That's easy," said the husband. "I'd like a million -- no, TEN million dollars!"

"Next to the deed on your kitchen table, you will find your most recent bank statement, with an additional ten million dollars in your account." The young couple were elated!

"And now, for my wish. I've been stuck in this bottle since before your grandparents were born. I've been lonely, and without a woman, and desire has built up beyond bearing. In return for granting your wishes, I would like to make love to your wife for one hour."

The man and his wife looked pained, and excused themselves for a quick conference. In the end they decided it was little enough in exchange for ten million dollars and a new house; so the young wife went upstairs with the genie, while the husband sat at the kitchen table with a golf magazine.

Fifty-five minutes later, the genie and his conquest lay naked in each others arms after the fourth coupling. The genie asked her, "So, how old is your husband, anyway?"

Puzzled, she replied, "Well, he'll be forty next month."

"Really?" he said. "And he still believes in genies?


oops .. i misunderstood the purpose of this thread and tried to post:

"What's brown and sticky?" ... "a stick!"

I'm now up to speed and will offer the now traditional "dood! .. the vid's remooved!"


It's back up. You can see it now.

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