The Dilbert Blog

Beauty as God

In Yesterday’s Blog Post, I asked if the fact that all creatures with brains and eyes have some innate and individual sense of beauty is evidence of God. For the most part, believers said yes or maybe, and non-believers asked what is wrong with me.

In fairness, I didn’t develop that question enough for it to make sense. I was operating on insufficient sleep. I’ll take another crack at it. You might be surprised how well this comes together. Or not.

If there is a God, I have hypothesized before that it could be the expression of a single and original universal law of nature so powerful that all the other rules of physics spring from it. And all the anthropomorphic qualities that believers often ascribe to God are only different descriptions of that one universal law. It would be fair, albeit imprecise language, to say this God of universal law is omnipotent and loving and the creator of everything.

I observed that people are attracted to particular mates based on individual concepts of beauty. But they are also attracted to certain styles of clothes, cars, music and so on. We see beauty in lots of things. And we observe that gravity and magnetism and other natural forces are some form of attraction. Every bit of reality is experiencing some form of attraction to some other bits of reality.

Human attraction feels entirely different from gravity. But remember that all the laws of physics seem entirely different from each other, but there has long been a belief they could all be explained or connected by a so-called unified field theory.

Consider how evolution explains both the human eye and a bird’s wing. Those two things seem completely unrelated to each other, but spring from the same underlying set of rules. As with that example, I am asking if the pervasiveness of our preferences for beauty springs from the same force as gravity and magnetism, to name just a few examples. All seem to be a related to attraction.

If the universe did not have a natural preference for attraction over separateness, then animals would not look for food, people would not procreate, and planets would not orbit. Even evolution springs from this most basic of forces. Without attraction, no creatures would produce offspring.

Attraction, which we humans usually interpret as beauty in our daily lives, is perhaps the most universal of all the laws. Is it a stretch to suppose that attraction is the hypothetical one most basic and original law of all? And if so, can one be forgiven for labeling it God?

Preferences

Women prefer taller men. That’s probably a good thing from an evolutionary perspective. If the preference worked in the other direction, eventually our descendants would evolve smaller and smaller until squirrels ate them.

The usual explanation for why humans have certain preferences in mates is because the preferred traits signal good health, and that is an advantage for baby-making.

But what if those preferences are just coincidences? For example, I have clear preferences for some types of automobile designs, but I don’t want to hump those cars and produce tricycles.

My hypothesis of evolution is that every creature with eyes and a brain has a sense of beauty that coincidentally overlaps with health, but is independent. Studies have shown that mood is directly affected by the color and design of your environment. Most people prefer being on a beach or in the mountains compared to a cubicle. But you don’t prefer the beach or mountain because you want to have their babies. They just make you feel good.

Even your dog has a preferred place in the house or in the yard, for whatever doggie reasons he has.

I think you choose your mate based on a personal sense of beauty.  And if your environment only has a few choices, you pick the one with the most beauty, relatively speaking.

You can see some divergence between beauty and reproductive health in popular culture. Models and actresses are often too thin to appear as optimal baby-makers while still considered highly attractive.

Bonus philosophical question: If all creatures with brains have an innate and individual sense of beauty, is that evidence of God?

Ultimate One-Story House Plan Update and Ultimate Future City

I got to bed late last night, so today’s post is lame and rambling, just like always. I decided to update my ultimate one-story house plan, and also describe the ultimate future city.

See my previous posts for details that make the one-story floor plan special. In this update I made a few tweaks toward perfection based on your comments.

1. Moved the kid bathroom to the end of the hall connecting their two bedrooms.

2. Added a guest bathroom off the laundry room, with an entry past a fountain for maximum privacy while still being central to the house.

3. Moved the mud room to the garage entrance.

click to enlarge.

Someone asked about the ultimate city plan. I have that too, conceptually.

The biggest problem with any city is all the traffic. And much of that traffic can be avoided if the city is designed right. I imagine homes above ground, connected by a network of underground bike and robot paths.

The bike paths would allow weather-free, flat paths, and parking, from anywhere to anywhere in the city. No cars to contend with, and wide enough for senior citizens to putter around in their trikes while kids zip around in the fast lane.

The robots would be like larger versions of the Roomba vacuum cleaning robot, but designed to pick up and deliver merchandise and food from one place to another. Every home would have an elevator to the underground area where the robots would deliver goods and wait for you to unload.

Imagine ordering anything you want over the Internet, and your cell phone alerts you when the delivery robot is waiting beneath your house to be unloaded. It can wait all day, because there are plenty of robots to go around. The robots would have their own dedicated paths, separate from the bikes, and accessible only by service technicians.

Commuting would be unnecessary if your co-workers and most customers also lived in the city. Each home would be equipped with a home office (or two) that provides the ultimate telecommuter setup. Just insert your earpiece and have your avatars hold online virtual meetings. If you need to courier documents or prototypes, the underground robots do it in minutes.

Homes would be built in clusters around comprehensive health club facilities, like the one near me, www.ClubSports.com. It has everything from spa facilities to yoga to tennis to rock climbing to dancing. Membership would be included in city taxes, and would pay for itself in reduced healthcare.

When you needed to travel beyond your block, but within the city, taxis and public transit would do most of that job.

That’s the basic outline of the ultimate future city. It still needs work.

You Had Me at A**hole

I have a new favorite politician. I have no interest in his policy stance or effectiveness, but somehow that doesn’t matter. My new hero is French President Sarkozy.

Recently he was making his way through a crowd for some public event and went to shake the hand of a man who said, “Don’t touch me. You’ll make me dirty.” Sarkozy replied, “Then get out of here, you total a**hole.” Some have interpreted it as “jerk” and not “a**hole,” but that only makes the story better, knowing there is more than one interpretation. You get your reasonable deniability delivered on the fly. Impressive.

Here’s a link: http://blog.eitb24.com/odds/2008/02/24/-casse-toi-alors-pauvre-con-/

So I went to Wikipedia to see more about the Sarkozy cat, and found this gem:  “As mayor of Neuilly-sur-Seine, Sarkozy met former fashion model and public relations executive Cécilia Ciganer-Albéniz (great-granddaughter of composer Isaac Albéniz and of a Russian father), when he officiated at her wedding[15] to television host Jacques Martin. In 1988, she left her husband for Sarkozy, and divorced Martin one year later.”

Dude.

Sarkozy officiated at the former fashion model’s wedding and, I’m guessing, slipped the bride his phone number. Apparently that worked.

But the marriage didn’t, so after Sarkozy wore out one former model, he traded up to another, Carla Bruni, and married her recently.

I’m sure I would find plenty to dislike about Sarkozy if I bothered to read about his political views. But I’d hate to ruin a good first impression.

My point is that you shouldn’t let a French guy officiate your wedding.

Find a Job for David Steward

If you haven’t been following the story of the man who was fired for posting a Dilbert comic at work, here’s a link to Fox News’ coverage.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,331543,00.html

The man who got fired is David Steward. I asked him for his resume so I could post it here and see if any of you can help him find a job in the Fort Madison area of Iowa. Here’s a Google Maps link:

http://maps.google.com/maps?q=Fort+Madison,+IA,+United+States+of+America&sa=X&oi=map&ct=title

Ignore the formatting of the resume. I didn’t want to spend all morning figuring out how to move it into TypePad in a way that looks pretty. If anyone wants to offer Dave some CONSTRUCTIVE help with his resume, his e-mail address is below.

David M. Steward
Email: [email protected]

OBJECTIVE:

I am a hard working and reliable person looking for employment in the Fort Madison area.

I have 15 years experience in different types of security jobs, including 5 years as the security supervisor.

WORK HISTORY:

Dec 2000 to Oct 2007:  Security Supervisor Catfish Bend Casino, Burlington, IA 52601

Coordinated security for customers and employees. Observed the casino for intoxicated customers and improper behavior, inspected incoming and outgoing packages, and handled all types of emergency situations. Communicated
with the other supervisors on scheduling issues as needed.

Completed CPR/AED and First Aid Training.

Oct 1999 to Oct 2000: Laborer, Sickels Cleaners. Burlington, IA 52601

Operated shirt presser and large capacity washers.

May 1999 to Jul 2000 : Security Officer, Burns International Security Services, Burlington, IA 52601

Assessed security of buildings and surrounding area, normally during hours that the business was closed. I monitored  the plant and its employees in Burlington. Burns Security was absorbed by another security company after I left.

Jul1996 to May 1999: Maintenance/ Security/ Driver, Best Western PZAZZ!, Burlington, IA

Duties included plumbing and electrical issues, repairing furniture, security for the guests and the facility when necessary, driving shuttle van to transport guests, and maintaining the main pool and spas.

EDUCATION:

Jun 1985 to Jul 1985 Indian Hills Community College, Ottumwa, IA 52501

Truck Driving, six week course: Aug 1971 to May 1975, New London High School, New London, IA 52645

High School Diploma

Software/ System Skills: Basic computer skills includes Microsoft programs and Internet.

References:

Available on request

Drunken Lemurs Strike Back

In this week’s Dilbert, Wally is fired for posting a comic that calls managers drunken lemurs. There’s some background to that story, in case you missed it yesterday on Good Morning America.

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/WaterCooler/story?id=4323900

And here’s the link to the Dilbert series that continues for a few more days.

http://dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/archive/dilbert-20080220.html

One of my ongoing problems in the strip is trying to restore things back to their normal Dilbert universe after something dramatic happens, such as a death or firing or company takeover. Today you will learn, if you don’t already know, a literary phrase that describes how lazy authors resolve this sort of thing.

The phrase is “deus ex machina.” It refers to a bad writer’s trick of having some improbable character arrive at the end of a story and conveniently solve all the problems. It’s considered a cop-out. I use it frequently because comics need quick solutions, and I have plenty of improbable characters to choose from. Look for the deus ex machine to help Wally get his job back in the next few days.

And next time you want to impress someone with your literary knowledge, drop a deus ex machine on them. Act surprised that anyone doesn’t know what it means. More on that phrase…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deus_ex_machina

Since I know you will ask, in the ABC video I am drawing on a Wacom Cintiq 21UX monitor, which is how I create the strip. Here’s a link that shows it:

http://www.wacom.com/cintiq/index.cfm?CMP=KNC-google&HBX_PK=cintiq+21ux&HBX_OU=50&gclid=COGlzZWN2JECFQM7gwodtkMoZg

Ultimate Single Story House - update

See the latest updates highlighted.

The goal is to have a house with the best design for the money, not necessarily the cheapest. But you could easily add or subtract from this design to hit almost any budget.

If you aren’t interested in house plan designs, and most of you aren’t, I hope you are interested in the process of “open design,” where hordes of people essentially guide the design. I started with a basic idea, and your comments have guided it.

Many of you complained about my two-story house plan. Having recently injured my knee playing tennis (not badly), I have a new level of sympathy for that view. What follows is a single-level design, with an optional basement, based on your comments.

Click to enlarge.

Based on your comments, I put the laundry room near the center of the action part of the house, so you can watch the kids and prepare meals without traveling to laundry Siberia and back. I even designed a rolltop window in the laundry room where you can do the ironing while facing out to the big screen TV. Noise wouldn’t be that big of a deal if you soundproofed the walls and only opened the rolltop window when others weren’t around. I retained the closets that open to bedrooms and to the laundry room. This house makes doing laundry almost fun. (And realistically, the person who does the laundry usually decides what house you live in.)

I moved the guest/kid bathroom to the end of the house. No one wanted it anywhere near the kitchen or living area.

I added a front porch because those are relatively inexpensive, energy friendly, and provide lots of outdoor enjoyment. This is the large and useful kind of porch, not the purely cosmetic type you see on new houses these days. And it faces the primary sun direction to keep the home cool.

I kept the storage room concept adjacent to the main living area, and added a door from storage to the garage, based on comments. This is the room that keeps all your party stuff, exercise equipment, holiday decorations, extra chairs and tables, and anything else you need to change the function of the living area on the fly.

If you aren’t sold on the storage room concept yet, and you have kids, imagine that it also contains what I call Toy Jail. Anything that isn’t picked up by the kids gets thrown in a big box (the Toy Jail) in the storage room.

There is one dining area, casual enough for every day, but imagine it designed with a restaurant ambiance, so you wouldn’t be embarrassed entertaining friends there either. And after dinner, the big screen comes down from the ceiling for a movie. A home theater seems like an excess, but prices are dropping fast, and if it is included in the original design of the house, and you plan to use it a lot, it makes sense.

The front entrance is off the family room, with a mud room, and a small foyer that is business only. Every inch of the home that gets heated or cooled is useful.

The Cat's bathroom is in the master bathroom. If you have allergic house guests, just lock the cat in the master bedroom and it has all it needs.

The home office is moved off toward the garage and kitchen side, and is on its own heating/cooling zone. It's close to the kitchen for convenience.

The optional basement steps are moved to near the entrance from the garage.

The game room is moved next to the family room, separated by a two-way fireplace.

All bedrooms have windows now.

Bathrooms reduced from five to two. You could always add them back to bedrooms without changing the overall design too much.

The master bedroom got a retreat/sitting area just to square things off.

So there it is, the ultimate house, designed by you. How’s it look now?

Agism

In yesterday’s post I said, “A 71-year old man like McCain is mentally slower and less flexible than a younger person, and more likely to have his job performance impacted by a major illness.” Many of you objected to my agism.

It appears that there were three reasons for objecting:

1. The commenter interpreted my statement to mean every old person is mentally slower than every young person, which would be stupid.

2. The commenter objects to agism on principle.

3. McCain is obviously healthy and energetic and smart enough for the job.

The first two categories aren’t worth a response. I will address the third point, that McCain is an exception.

First, I will acknowledge the possibility that the smartest and most creative person in the world could be 100 years old. That could happen if, for example, that person started as the smartest person in the world and didn’t decline much. What isn’t likely is that the smartest person in the world started out in the middle of the pack and got smarter after the age of 70.

I will also acknowledge that a mentally active person, such as John McCain, can reduce the normal rate of mental decline associated with age. And with experience he might acquire more relevant knowledge while only forgetting things that aren’t much use on the job, such as his old high school locker combination.

Here’s a link showing that older people can stave off the typical mental decline associated with age by “training” their brains: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/12/19/AR2006121900901.html

I will also acknowledge that if you were hiring someone to work for your own company, the 71-year old could be the most qualified candidate. But the odds of that happening decrease as the applicant pool increases. The presidency has an unusually large pool of applicants.

And the job at your company is unlikely to be similar in mental requirements to being President of the United States. It’s hard to imagine a job that would require more mental dependability than Commander in Chief.

We have one recent experience with an older president: Reagan. And his mental functioning was clearly impaired by age. While you might argue that Reagan’s results as a president were good, you have to acknowledge the risk involved in having a president who isn’t thinking clearly.

John McCain’s current mental ability does appear up to the task of being president. But like Reagan, he’s at an age where decline can happen quickly. He’s unlikely to be the same man at the end of the first term, much less a potential second term. While it is entirely possible – even probable – he could keep his mind sharp enough to do the job, the odds are unambiguously better for a younger candidate.

President of the United States isn’t the sort of job where “sufficient” is good enough. I have every reason to believe a 71-year old would be sufficient. The odds of being exceptional are much lower.

In other professions, how often do people over the age of 70 produce innovative or exceptional results? Look around your home or office and ask yourself how many of the technical innovations came from senior citizens. How many of the best selling books on your shelf were written by senior citizens who weren’t already famous? How many senior citizens wrote the music you have on your iPod?

You will be tempted to point out exceptions to the rule. Warren Buffet is a good example. But he plans to retire. Alan Greenspan already did. Evidently they think age matters.

If you think age isn’t a factor in the presidency, would you vote for a candidate who was 100-years old and healthy?

Making Decisions

I’m fascinated by how people make decisions when faced with lots of unknowns, such as when they pick a presidential candidate to support.

The usual method, as far as I can tell, is to pick what you think is the most important of the unknowns, take your best guess about it, and base your entire decision on that one factor. For example, you might say, “That candidate would be better at boosting the economy.” But you don’t really know. Even the experts don’t know.

The “guessing about unknowns” approach makes sense if you can reliable assign odds to the unknown. In reality, that’s rarely the case. So I take a different approach. I make my decision entirely on the elements I know for sure.

Take the war in Iraq as an example for this method of decision making. While I have a preference for leaving soon, I have no way of knowing whether that makes the world a safer or more dangerous place in the long run. I’ve heard good arguments both ways. But I do know for certain that fewer American soldiers would be targets if they left. And I know that staying is a lot more expensive than leaving. Anything else I think I “know” about Iraq is a hunch at best. So based on what I know for sure, I favor an early pull-out.

On the economy, immigration, health care, and the handling of special interest groups, I have no idea if Obama or Clinton or McCain would handle things better. I don’t even know if the liberals would raise my taxes more than the conservative. Those are all complete unknowns to me.

So what are the knowns? Here’s my starter list:

1. A President Obama would a huge step toward racial healing.

2. A President H. Clinton would be a symbolic gain for women, but it wouldn’t be a clean win because her husband would be seen as highly influential in making it happen.

2. A President Clinton would be scandal bait for the press.

3. A 71-year old man like McCain is mentally slower and less flexible than a younger person, and more likely to have his job performance impacted by a major illness.

4. McCain would nominate more conservative judges to the Supreme Court compared to either Clinton or Obama.

5. Obama and Clinton would remove troops from Iraq sooner than McCain.

I’m sure this list needs to be longer. Feel free to add to it. And watch the comments to see how often people say they know things that are clearly unknowable.

[Update: In a prior post I told you that last year I promised a friend who raises funds for McCain that if the surge worked, I would donate $1,000 to the campaign. While the jury is still out on whether it “worked” in any lasting and meaningful way, I decided against weaseling out of my promise. I donated $1,000 to John McCain. But I didn’t feel good about it.]

Ultimate House Plan (Take two)

On February 14th I posted my idea for the ultimate house plan that wastes little space and is efficient. People weighed in with their comments. I incorporated many of those comments in the new design and drew it so you can see it. Your comments included:

1. The kitchen and laundry rooms should have views. (Done)

2. Laundry rooms next to bedrooms would be too noisy. In the new design, the bedrooms are separated by a closet, so there would be two walls to block the sound. One bedroom is across the hall, but still near.

3. The pantry is right off the garage, for all those warehouse store purchases.

4. The big storage room is wasted space for heating and cooling. I moved it adjacent to the garage, where it doesn't need to be heated or cooled, depending on your climate and what you want to keep in there.

5. Move the bathroom away from the kitchen. (Done)

6. Add a cat's bathroom. (Done.)

7. Update: I made the downstairs bathroom more private and added a front entrance.

8. Update: Okay, okay, I added a straight stairway and pushed the bathroom further from the TV area.

Remember, a big part of this concept is that you can change the function of the all-purpose family room by switching out items from the storage room. You can pull out your holiday decorations, add tables and chairs to the dining area, or more seating for watching a movie on the big screen. All of your party and entertaining items would be in that handy storage room. You could even keep your exercise bike in there and push it out when you want to use it (which is easier than it sounds).

Click the two floors to enlarge

How’s it look now?