May 2008

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Why is the Dilbert Ultimate House no longer online??


I don't know what I'd do without my cleaning maid. My house would probably be in shambles right now and I wouldn't be able to find anything.

Prithvi Bhargava

@ Chris et al.

Yeah, I shouldn't have assumed what this site is about. After all, it's not like the site is called "dilbertblog" is it? Anyway, not reading/following the "blog" is a perfectly acceptable solution and I think I'll do just that.

@ Mark Thorson

Please stop indulging in stereotypes. Makes you look like the people the comic strip makes fun of. Thank you.


Bathroom and kitchen back to back with bedrooms on the bathroom side and public rooms on the kitchen side might work. If there were more than one bathroom they could be side by side and might even share some facilities such as linen closet, other storage, a large whirlpool bath, etc.


My cousin built a two-story 3,000 sq. ft. house with a laundry room on both floors. I hear putting laundry rooms on the second floor (where bedding and clothes tend to accumulate) is becoming more common. The only thing keeping them on the first floor is the awkwardness of moving the machines and maybe cheap, lazy plumbing.

Richard McLaughlin

Well, when I was in the military we all wore a uniform and over the uniform we (my unit) all wore a load bearing vest. In that vest the large right hand pockey had shotgun shells and the magazines for the .45 was on the right. Decisions made based on what hand 90% of people would reload with.
Hold shotgun in left hand, load with right, fire.
Hold .45 in right hand, load with left, fire.

That is how a right handed person did things and we aim to the greater population of people being right handed. Lefties had to learn to load differently, that's all. We did this because when i was out and needed ammo from a body the .45 was always left, shotgun shells right and the grenades were probably all gone if I am reloading from the dead.

How does this relate to a house?
My knees are bad, I don't want steps.
I don't want the doors to connect all the rooms upstairs, use the hallway. I have more kids than you do and because of the age difference they can't share rooms.

The military is great for making things uniform, but that does not mean that we all look good in cammies. You'll never find the house that fits all.


poop, a big fat poop

Edward Snow

Reading your house stuff. Looks like Dilbert designed it. A few comments:
Pull the garage wing to the front to align with the front of the porch. This will allow you to have a straight shot into your office.
Add another bathroom, or at least a Powder Room.
TV screen should not be in front of the window / outside wall. However a roll-down screen might be OK.
Garage must be about 22' deep minimum to accommodate cars and allow movement around them. Do you want your office that wide?
Mud room should be between garage and main house, with a Powder room off of it.
Mud room at entrance is better if recessed into house proper, at least 5' (better 7') deep, with a coat closet. (Need room to open doors.)
Guest Bathroom is better if moved to location of Bedroom 1 closet, so Bedroom 1 has a corner location (better light and ventilation) and Guest Bathroom can be used as a "Guest Bathroom" for party guests without guests having to venture into the bedroom area. (Also saves on area to clean before parties.)
This bathroom location is also more convenient for Bedroom 2 and allows the hall to be largely eliminated, and bedrooms made larger.
This is a beginning. I strongly suggest that you hire an Architect, (One who is a "worker bee" and not a "form-giver".) You probably have guessed that I am an Architect.

Edward D. Snow

Skip Tracer

Regarding ventilation, and the need for windows in the bathroom.

We live in a cold state, the windows are kept shut much of the year. I find the ventilation fans work just fine, no need to open windows.

We don't turn on the vent fan when we shower, as the air in our house gets too dry.


Reminds me of my uncles' house. The one thing that is missing - a bathroom for every bedroom upstairs.

Just Me

I would be interested to see a house plan where the entire thing is underground. Much more environmentally friendly, never have to paint the walls. Quieter. Less attractive to burglars; they have no idea how big it is in there, and can't cruise by at night and look in the windows. Use some kind of prismatic skylight to get daylight into the rooms, and use your lot as a big garden/playspace.

It may be some plumbing/engineering work to get drain water 'up' into the municipal pipe system, but if commercial garages can go down 30 feet, why not your house?

Plus, there is a cool 'secret lair' factor.


with the laundry room above the kitchen would be more work for whoever is trying to multitask with both simultaneously (up and down the stairs). It does make sense piping wise, however. But it's still more work. And this is coming from a potential wife/ with the traditional "female" chores. (This applies to house husbands too!)

Hahah, which reminds me. I was working with this railroad consulting company which designed the bathroom of a new multi-level train. As a woman, I immediately noticed that the trashcan is all the way across the 6' long room! And toilet paper cannot be flushed bc the toilet is bio waste only! I half-joked about the poor engineering design right after!


My cousins had a house where the first floor was more or less like you described, minus the storage room - the kitchen was the center, etc. It made sense from a practial point of view, but there was still always something a bit off about the flow of the house. We always ended up hanging out in the kitchen, and the living room was still never used.


How much time do you spend in the laundry room? My washer and dryer are in the basement, where they shoud be. The noise stays away from the rest of the house, and if there is a leak, it's no big deal. A leak on an upper floor would be a nightmare.

When doing a load of laundry, I take the clothes downstairs, (getting a little well-needed exercise), spend 5 minutes putting the clothes in the washer, adding detergent, and turning it on. Then I go about doing other things...I don't spend any extra time near the washer. Why would I need a TV there?? When the washer is finished, I take the clothes out of it and put them in the dryer, a few feet away. That may take another 2 minutes. Then I leave again, letting the dryer do it's thing. When it's done, I remove the clothes, fold them, and carry them back upstairs, burining off a few more calories.

The whole process takes about 15 minutes, spread over 2 hours. A fancy laundry room is the silliest thing I've ever heard of. I think you have too much money, Scott.


Isn't there the problem that the kitchen is in the middle, and hence doesn't receive much light?


You want the kitchen on the edge, because you have to carry in groceries, and you don't want to lug them through other rooms or down hallways.
Making it the "center" of entertainment is a good idea, though.


Sir, you are a genius.


Hey Scott, where can I buy the plans for this? Oh, but I will need the pet upgrade. You know, cat walkways near the ceilings, litter box on a platform (like in the virtual Dilbert house). Also, furniture that doubles as dog crates (I've seriously seen this). And, I totally agree with the hardwood floor statement! COOL!


I dont know why you tagged that as GENERAL NONSENSE....that is a novel idea...and that laundry thing ROCKS!!!


There is no such thing as the "ultimate house design". Each person/family has a unique set of requirements and therefore the "ultimate house design" would different for each person/family.

What you describe sounds pretty cool though!


Check out the book _Your Engineered House_. It's way out of print (1970s or so), but many libraries & used book stores have a copy. Good stuff.


i am wondering....what percentage of architects are women?

Paul Walters

Iagree with the previuos post home styles are outdated for the 2008 modern family


A few thoughts for our friend Prithvi:

Nobody ever said the blog was about Dilbert, corporate humour or anything in particular. It's Scotts blog and therefore like any other blog by any other citizen, he's free to ramble about anything he chooses. Just because he's a semi-famous dude, does that incur the penalty that anything he writes about he has the responsibility to produce a quality piece? I think not. And when all's said and done dude, it's free and nobody is making you read it. If you don't like it, don't log in! Personally, I think the effort required to produce something almost everyday, and read most of the comments as I suspect he does, takes a lot of dedication. Even if half of it is bollocks, given the quantity of output, that's an awful lot that isn't. Much of the stuff is meant to be thought/discussion provoking, and sometimes he plays devils advocate - like suggesting there could be such a thing as a house design to suit everybody. Do you really think he doesn't possess the wit to know there's no such thing?


the master bath/shower should have easy access to the closet and be separate from the toilet.

Feng shui - no water on the exact center line

everything on one floor - one day you may be unable to climb stairs

recommended reading: Creating the Not So Big House by Sarah Susanka

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